The Outside Series - Complete Trilogy: Books 1-3

by Kristina Renee

  “What’s wrong? Was it that bad?” I joked.

  “No, no…it was perfect,” Adam smiled as he took my hand and lead me over to the window. “I just can’t imagine never being able to kiss you again.”

  “Why would you?”

  “My mom...she wants to send me away,” he brushed his fingers along my jaw and sent shivers down my spine. “There’s a school for ‘troubled youths’ a few states away. It’s run by some fundamentalist Christian whack jobs who think that ‘with counseling, prayer, and a structured environment any youth can be set back on the right path.’”

  “What about your Aunt? Can she do anything?” I searched his face for some glimmer of hope.

  “My mom is still my legal guardian. My aunt literally can’t do anything unless she suspects abuse and even then...Mom’s careful to walk a very fine line.” He curled his arms around me and held me close.

  To be perfectly honest, the more I learned about Mrs. Fischer, the more I suspected that she had some serious psychiatric problems. If it wasn’t for Allie’s recovery, I would’ve begged Adam to run away with me and get as far away from her as possible.

  “Unless dad wakes up, I’m leaving in two weeks,” Adam continued. “That’s part of why she agreed to let me come to the hospital today. I’m supposed to be saying my goodbyes.”

  I felt the heat of my tears before I realized I was crying. They rolled down my cheeks in massive droplets while I buried my face against his chest. “This isn’t how things are supposed to end,” I gasped. “We were finally happy. It can’t end like this.”

  “It doesn’t have to,” Adam said, before pressing a kiss to my forehead. “It’s just going to be a little harder. I’ve only got a year before I turn eighteen. As soon as that year hits, I’m telling my mom to fuck off. I’ll be able to rent an apartment, so I won’t have to worry about Allie and I winding up homeless.”

  “What about your dad? He could still wake up. Everything can still go back to the way it was.” I stepped back so that I could look up into his face.

  “Sure it can,” Adam nodded, “but this is the plan if he doesn’t.” He reached into his pocket and pulled something out. “It’s not much...actually, it’s pretty much just a toy, but it’s the best I can do now that I’m under house arrest.” He took my left hand in his and gently slid a ring on my finger. It was a cheap thing, the sort that would turn your finger green if wore it for too long, but it made my heart leap into my throat.

  “This is a promise,” Adam explained. “No matter how long it takes, I’m coming back for you.”

  “Adam...” I tried desperately to wipe away my tears and stop crying, but they just wouldn’t stop.

  “Hush now, don’t cry. You’re gonna make me cry and I don’t wanna do that. Not in front of my dad.”

  I couldn’t help but chuckle a little despite my tears. “You’d better come back. I don’t wanna wait forever.”

  “Don’t worry, it’s a promise.”

  48

  Mr. Fischer’s sister from Wyoming arrived a few days later. She made arrangements with the hospital to continue her brother’s care for the foreseeable future. Then she contacted a property management firm and had them set up Mr. Fischer’s house as a rental property, to be vacated in the event he woke up. All the furniture was put into storage. Then, certain that she had done everything she could, she went home.

  Adam was right. There was nothing she could do for her niece and nephew. In his texts he mentioned that she stopped by a few times, but nothing came of it. His mother chased her off, like she did with anyone that tried to interfere in how she was raising her children.

  Two weeks went by in the blink of an eye. Then, Adam was gone. The texts stopped. I had no way of contacting Adam at all. According to what Liz had learned from visiting Allie, he wasn’t allowed any outside contact and all incoming mail was screened for anything that might “cause someone to stumble from their path.” They probably had a list of names to screen for as well. If you weren’t on the list, your letter was burned.

  I kept going to visit Mr. Fischer every day. I talked to him about stuff that was happening around town, told him about events or scandals that popped up. Anything that came across the five o’clock news really. I knew that every passing day decreased the likelihood that he would ever wake up, but it was the only hope I had of seeing Adam any time soon.

  A year didn’t sound very long, but it probably felt like a lifetime where he was.

  Summer was nearly over by the time I saw Allie again. She was hobbling around on crutches and squabbling with Liz as they came out of the physical therapy clinic in the hospital.

  “Bry...” Allie looked at me with a blank expression. “You look like you’ve lost weight.”

  “Allie, what the hell?” Liz nudged her.

  “No, it’s fine. It’s true,” I said with a shrug. “It’s just been the stress. Mom’s trying to fatten me up for school again so people don’t accuse me of being anorexic or something.” I’d probably dropped ten pounds in the last two months. I was already on the thin side to begin with, so I could see why my mom was getting worried. I didn’t think it was that noticeable to other people though.

  “What are you doing here?” Liz asked, trying to keep the conversation alive.

  “Um, I was actually visiting Mr. Fischer,” I admitted. “I’m come by pretty much every day.”

  “What? Why?” Allie demanded. “Why are you visiting my dad?” Her tone had turned accusatory and her eyes were shining with tears.

  “I don’t understand,” I said, holding up my hands in surrender. “Did I do something wrong?”

  Liz glanced from me to Allie. “Why don’t we go somewhere quiet where we can talk?”

  Allie said nothing, but I nodded in agreement. Liz lead the way through the maze of halls to the hospital cafeteria. She grabbed a table near the back off the dining room where we no one else was sitting.

  “Now,” Liz began, “let’s start over.”

  Allie looked up at me. Her face was screwed up with pain and hurt and she looked like she was hoping a scowl would keep her tears at bay.

  “Do you not want me to visit your dad?” I asked, careful to keep my tone neutral. I didn’t understand why she was so upset, but I hated seeing her like that. We may not have actually been family, but I still thought of her as a sister. One that I had spectacularly failed to help over the past few weeks.

  “I don’t know why you even bother,” she said trying to use indifference to stay her tears. “He’s not going to wake up. He’s not going to rescue us from this hell. And the only person in the entire damn world that hadn’t abandoned me is gone now too. And if it hadn’t been for this stupid, damn, useless leg, he wouldn’t be. Adam wouldn’t have had to leave if I hadn’t been injured. He wouldn’t have worried about Mom kicking me out again. He wouldn’t have been such a stupid, selfless jerk.”

  She rambled on for a few more minutes, but with every word out of her mouth, I got a clearer picture of her pain. She’d been all alone in that house with that woman. Every single day she was reminded of the fact that her brother was gone. Every time she looked at that cast, or the scars from her life saving surgery, she was reminded of that night. The night that their lives were changed forever.

  “My dad’s going to die, isn’t he?” Her question roused me from my thoughts.

  “Have you been to see him?”

  Allie looked away.

  “No, she hasn’t,” Liz answered for her. “That’s what we were arguing about when you ran into us. She says she doesn’t want to see him like that.”

  I reached across the table and gently squeezed Allie’s hand. “I think you need to see him.”

  Allie stubbornly refused to let us get a wheelchair for her. She said she spent enough time sitting when she was at home. The trip took twice as long as it should’ve because Liz and I had to match her pace and she was clearly becoming fatigued.

  When we got to Mr. Fischer’s room, it took a
lot of coaxing to get her through the door but Allie finally gave in and took the plunge.

  “H-he looks good,” she said softly, as if trying not to wake him. “I mean, he’s lost weight and he’s a little pale, but...he looks okay. I thought...I thought he was dying.” She sat in the chair beside his bed and gently took one of his hands in hers. “Mom said he might as well be dead.”

  I shook my head. “He’s very much alive. The nurse says that as long as there’s brain activity, there’s still hope he’ll regain consciousness. His brain, his heart, his lungs, all his organs are healthy and functioning normally. They don’t even have him on a respirator. He’s just...sleeping really. Only, for some reason, he can’t wake up.”

  “Some daughter I am...” she said softly. “I’m sorry, Dad.”

  “You should try talking louder so he can hear you,” I suggested. “They say coma patients might be aware of what’s going on around them. It could help.”

  “Is that what you do?” she asked. “You’ve been coming here every day, to talk to my dad?”

  “I mostly tell him stories about stuff I saw on the news, or jokes I overheard, but yeah. I’ve felt so useless ever since the accident. It’s the only thing I’ve been able to do for any of you.” I took a deep breath and tried to steady my emotions. I hadn’t cried since that last day with Adam and I wasn’t about to start now.

  Allie looked uncertainly toward her dad.

  “Do you want some privacy?” Liz asked. “We can wait outside while you talk to him.”

  “No, it’s fine.” Allie pursed her lips for a moment before continuing. “Actually, maybe...I think I’m probably going to start crying and I really don’t wanna cry in front of you guys.”

  “We’ll be right out here if you need us,” I said with a nod as Liz and I move toward the door.

  “Hey Dad...it’s Allie,” we heard her begin before the door closed behind us.

  “Thank you for that,” Liz said with a little sigh as we gravitated toward a vending machine partway down the hall. “I’ve been trying to get her to go see him ever since the accident, but she kept fighting me. She wouldn’t believe me when I told her he wasn’t dying. I think she just had to see it for herself.”

  “Maybe hearing his daughter’s voice will help more than mine,” I said as I rifled in my pocket for some change.

  “Have you really been coming here every single day?” Liz looked at me sidelong. “I mean, you barely knew him, right?”

  “It’s the only chance I have, Liz,” I said as my quarters rattled their way into the slot of the vending machine. I pressed a button and a few seconds later my coke came clattering down into the retrieval slot. “I know it’s a long shot, but right now it’s the only shot. If Mr. Fischer doesn’t wake up, then Adam stays in that hellhole until he’s old enough to check himself out.”

  “I understand why you’re doing it,” Liz said, nudging me out of the way so she could get something to drink. “I’m just a little impressed with your commitment.”

  The corner of my mouth twitched into a smile. “I’m being selfish, that’s all. I don’t want to go back to school without him. Not when we can finally walk the halls as a couple.”

  Liz’s drink clattered down to the pickup slot. She grabbed it and we started our slow trek back toward Mr. Fischer’s room.

  “You think she’s done yet?” I asked as we neared the door.

  “She’s got a lot of baggage to unpack, I doubt it,” Liz said, shaking her head. “She really needed this. And it’s been nice seeing you again. Without Adam around you’ve sort of...stopped responding to us. Texts, tweets, Facebook messages...it feels like you’re avoiding us.”

  I looked away. “You guys were Adam’s friends first. I know you’re going to tell me I’m being stupid, but without him around I feel like I’m intruding.”

  “You’re right, you are being stupid,” Liz said with a laugh. “You’re our friend too, Bry. That night we all came to the hospital to support you as much as Adam. More for you really, because he was asleep most of the time. So what’s the real reason?” She folded her arms and quirked an eyebrow.

  “I...” I could feel my emotions already pressing at the back of my throat. I was bound to start crying if I kept going like this. It took me a second, and a couple deep breaths, before I felt ready to continue. “I don’t think I can hang out with all of you without every second being a reminder that he’s the only one missing.” My voice cracked at the end, but I managed to get through the whole thing without shedding a tear.

  “Do you think we hang out together and just forget that he’s not there?” Liz asked. “Of course we remember. We all miss him. But we miss you too. You shouldn’t alone right now. You should be with your friends, spending the last few days of Summer doing stuff that Adam would’ve enjoyed.”

  Before I could say anything, there was a shout from Mr. Fischer’s room. Liz was a few steps ahead of me and threw open the door. Allie was gasping and grinning as she looked at us.

  “He squeezed my hand,” she said. “I was telling him about the progress I was making in therapy and he squeezed my hand.”

  I quickly went and grabbed one of the nurses and she went to fetch a doctor. It took them a few minutes to go over all his monitors and check the readings. When the doctor finally spoke to us, he was clearly trying to temper our expectations.

  He explained that it wasn’t uncommon for coma patients to twitch or move in their sleep. Some of them even have to be tied down so that they don’t roll out of bed. That said, Mr. Fischer hadn’t exhibited that sort of behavior in the past and there did seem to be a slight increase in brain activity around the time of the movement. The doctor was careful to reiterate that he might not actually be waking up though.

  All his warnings did nothing to diminish Allie’s hope though.

  When I came back the next day, Allie and Liz were there again. This time, Allie brought a bunch of bottles of essential oils with her.

  “Mom had these from one of those MLM groups she did for a while. She hasn’t touched them in years,” she explained as she opened one of the little bottles and held it near her dad’s nose. I could smell the scent of lavender all the way on the other side of the room.

  “She apparently read a bunch of articles last night about treatments for coma patients. One of them mentioned that stimulating the remaining senses—scent, touch, taste, hearing—have produced some results in helping coma patients,” Liz explained.

  “Isn’t this the kind of thing that you should talk to his doctor about?” I asked a little uncertainly as Allie replaced the lid and dug through the box in her lap for another bottle. “I’m just...not sure that opening a bottle of lavender is enough on it’s own.”

  “I tried talking to the doctor earlier,” Allie said without look at me. “He brushed me off. Fed me some line about how he’s been a neurologist for thirty years and that my dad is getting the best care possible. So we’re doing this on the DL.”

  I looked over at Liz for help, but she shrugged in defeat.

  “Allie...” I moved a little closer and tentatively put a hand on her shoulder. “The whole sense therapy stuff might work. But, when we were here yesterday your dad responded to your voice, right?”

  “But we can do more,” she insisted, looking up at me with tears in her eyes. “We’ve got to do more.”

  “Why don’t we look into this some more before we break out the smelling salts, okay?” I said, gently reaching for the box of essential oils. “Kim’s parents are doctors, maybe they can put us in touch with a doctor that’s more open to alternative therapies. Until then...why don’t you keep talking to him?”

  She reluctantly relinquished the box and nodded her head in agreement. “I just...I feel awful, y’know? Like, maybe if I’d been coming to see him this whole time he would’ve woken up by now.”

  “You can’t think like that, remember?” Liz said, coming to her friend’s side. “Right now, your dad and your brother need you to ke
ep moving forward. Even though it’s hard, even though you’re hurting. Just...keep going. For them.”

  Over the next several days, Liz, Allie and I continued talking and visiting with Mr. Fischer. When school started up again, our visiting hours were reduced, but we made up for it on the weekends. Getting to the hospital from the school and home again was a pain to try and coordinate all the time, especially now that Allie was forced to attend a private school on the other side of town thanks to what happened with Mr. Perry. Which is why Austin and Logan volunteered to chauffeur us around. They even started coming up to the room with us, though they joked it was because it was the only way they got to see their girlfriends anymore.

  It became our ritual to meet in Mr. Fischer’s room every day. We’d talk to him and each other for hours. The room was filled with laughter and happy voices.

  Occasionally, Kim’s mom or dad would peek in. They’d put us in contact with a reputable neurologist from another hospital who specialized in sensory therapy. But transferring Mr. Fischer to another facility was something that would have to be approved by his sister. According to Allie, she wasn’t really a big believer in stuff like that.

  So we kept doing the only thing we could.

  Slowly, however, the school year dragged on. Things got busy, and people weren’t always able to get there.

  It was December when I showed up and found only Allie waiting for me in the room. She was out of her cast now, still undergoing physical therapy, but getting stronger every day. In that moment, however, she looked more defeated than I’d ever seen her.

  “How long do we keep doing this, Bry?” she asked me as we sat there by Mr. Fischer’s bed. “How long before we just leave it up to fate or whatever?”

  “God? The universe?” I shrugged. “I don’t know. I never thought that far ahead. If there would ever be a point where it would seem like...I dunno, we should just give up and wait it all out.”

  “Adam stopped writing me,” Allie said, looking over at me. Her face was completely neutral, but her eyes looked like she was ready to admit defeat.