Jinny & Cooper

by Tania Ingram

  ‘I like it,’ said Mum. ‘Now, how about you put Cooper back into his cage and come down for some morning tea. I made biscuits this morning and we can have them with chocolate milk if you’d like. That should even make your brother happy.’

  ‘Sure,’ I said. ‘I’ll be down in a minute.’

  After Mum left, I turned back to Cooper. ‘I need to put you in your cage again,’ I told him. ‘I’ll let you out again after morning tea.’

  ‘Fine,’ Cooper said, climbing into my hands. ‘But can you do me a favour? Please bring me back a biscuit. I just love biscuits. They’re my favourite food.’

  Tyrone gave me the stink eye all through morning tea. He pounced on me as soon as Mum left the room to answer the phone.

  ‘Why didn’t you tell Mum about Cooper?’ he hissed.

  ‘Cooper didn’t want to talk in front of Mum,’ I whispered.

  I checked Mum was still talking on the phone. ‘Besides, if she had seen him talk she probably would have freaked out and made us take him back to the pet shop.’

  Tyrone thought about this for a moment. ‘I guess you’re right,’ he agreed.

  ‘I can’t believe he can talk,’ I said.

  ‘Me neither,’ said Tyrone. ‘Do you think he’s had a spell put on him or something?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ I said. ‘But I can’t wait to go back upstairs and see what else he has to say.’

  I carefully placed an iced jam biscuit into the pocket of my sweatshirt and drank the rest of my chocolate milk.

  Mum had finished her phone call and came back into the kitchen.

  ‘That was Gran and Grumpy on the phone,’ she said happily. ‘They’ve invited us to their place for a special birthday lunch today.’

  I frowned. Usually I love going to Gran and Grumpy’s place but I had hoped to spend the day learning more about Cooper. Mum looked at me with a puzzled expression.

  ‘Are you okay, Jinny?’ she asked.

  ‘I’m fine,’ I said, quickly smiling. ‘Lunch with Gran and Grumpy will be great. I’ll just miss Cooper, that’s all.’

  Mum laughed. ‘I’m sure after all of this morning’s training, Cooper will be ready for a break.’

  Back in my room, I took out the biscuit and placed it into Cooper’s cage. He scoffed it down, covering his whiskers with jam and pink icing.

  ‘Delicious,’ he said, letting out a small burp when he had finished. He rubbed his paws over his whiskers and licked them clean.

  I lifted him out of his cage and placed him onto my bed. Tyrone was sitting at one end with his legs crossed.

  ‘So how come you can talk?’ he asked Cooper. ‘Did you used to be human and someone put a spell on you or something?’

  ‘Certainly not,’ Cooper said offended. ‘What a ridiculous thing to suggest. I have always been a guinea pig and proudly so.’

  ‘Sor-ry!’ Tyrone said sarcastically, pulling a face at Cooper.

  ‘You shouldn’t pull faces, you know,’ Cooper said to Tyrone. ‘I once knew a boy who pulled faces and when the wind changed his face froze up. He looked like a crazed dog with his mouth open and tongue hanging out.’

  ‘What happened to him?’ Tyrone asked.

  ‘I think he ended up working at a post office, licking stamps,’ Cooper replied.

  Tyrone looked at me, eyebrows raised. I shrugged and turned to Cooper.

  ‘Cooper,’ I said. ‘Can I ask you something? Where did you go when we couldn’t find you yesterday?’

  ‘I didn’t go anywhere,’ Cooper said. ‘I was in the cage the whole time. I was just invisible.’

  ‘But what did you hide under?’ Tyrone asked.

  ‘I didn’t say I hid,’ Cooper said crossly. ‘I said I was invisible.’

  ‘But how on earth did you make yourself invisible?’ I asked.

  ‘Easily,’ Cooper replied. ‘Watch.’

  He closed his eyes and wriggled his nose. Within seconds he had disappeared.

  ‘Where did he go?’ Tyrone asked, amazed.

  ‘I’m right here,’ said a voice from the bed. ‘I’m by your hand.’

  Tyrone gave a shout. ‘Ouch! He bit me!’

  ‘It was just a nibble,’ said Cooper with a chuckle.

  Tyrone rubbed his hand. ‘It still hurt,’ he sulked.

  Cooper reappeared on the bed. He seemed very pleased with himself.

  I was just about to ask another question when Mum came to the door.

  ‘Time to go to Gran and Grumpy’s,’ she said. She was holding a container in her arms. ‘Birthday cake,’ she whispered with a wink. ‘Caramel mud cake. Your favourite.’

  ‘Yay!’ whooped Tyrone and ran down the stairs to the car. Mum followed.

  ‘I’ll be down soon,’ I shouted after her. I placed Cooper back into his cage.

  ‘We shouldn’t be too long,’ I told him, as I put on my coat and scarf.

  Cooper settled back into his straw bed. ‘Don’t forget to bring me back some caramel mud cake,’ he said with a yawn. ‘Cake just happens to be my second favourite food.’

  The next few weeks were interesting to say the least. Cooper, it seemed, had many incredible talents.

  As well as talking and disappearing he could also teleport himself small distances at will. One minute he would be in his cage and the next he would be on the end of my bed or up on a shelf somewhere. It was almost impossible to keep track of him.

  What was worse, he kept teleporting into the pantry and stealing biscuits. At first Mum blamed me and Tyrone, but when she found a half-nibbled biscuit on the pantry floor she concluded that it must be mice. She set several traps around the biscuit container, although she never managed to catch a single mouse.

  Another of Cooper’s incredible abilities was to float in mid-air. He would usually do this when he was invisible and took great delight in whispering into Tyrone’s ear or mine when we least expected it.

  He especially liked to do this while we were doing our homework. Suddenly a voice would whisper something like, ‘You’ve got question seven wrong,’ or ‘Bucharest isn’t in Germany!’ and frighten the life out of us.

  Or during dinner he’d whisper, ‘Save some bread and gravy for me,’ though never loud enough for Mum to hear.

  The worst one was when Cooper scared Tyrone half to death while he was on the toilet. That was the last time Tyrone ever took a book to the bathroom.

  Cooper loved books and demanded a story before bed every night.

  He particularly liked adventure books about pirates, witches and time travellers. He would often read the story while I brushed his fur, although his fur would always return to its messy, knotty state within minutes, so I don’t know why I bothered.

  He also loved listening to music and would turn my MP3 on whenever he liked, even in the middle of the night. He’d never turn it off, though, so my batteries were always flat whenever I went to use it.

  One day he stole my Mum’s transistor radio, which she keeps in case there’s an emergency and the power is cut off. He blasted a jazz station full volume in the early hours of the morning and woke everyone up.

  Mum thought I had done it and I got in double trouble: for waking everyone up in the middle of the night and for taking her emergency radio.

  She took the radio away but Cooper found it again a week later and put it back into his cage. Of course, I had to say I put it there. What else could I say?

  I threatened Cooper that I’d stop sharing my desserts with him if he ever took Mum’s radio again. He sulked about it for a while but never touched the radio after that.

  When it came to food, Cooper was extremely fussy.

  He refused to eat any fresh vegetables or fruit, preferring biscuits, cake and bread sticks. He was also partial to chips and dried crackers, and would only eat the guinea pig pellets from the pet shop if I covered them in maple syrup.

  When I commented on how unhealthy his diet was, he simply brushed it off.

  ‘Adults only tell you that biscuits and cake ar
e unhealthy because they want you to eat vegetables,’ he scoffed, nibbling at some cake icing. ‘I’ve eaten this way all my life and I’ve never been sick a day.’ He thought for a moment and chuckled. ‘Except that one time when the Contessa shared her affogato with me. Oh boy, did Isabella regret that afterwards.’ He grinned and waved a paw in front of his face. ‘Poo-whee! I had more gas than a hot air balloon.’

  Cooper was full of fantastical stories like that. He told us that he had once lived with a king who would only wear blue underwear. Another time he said he met a girl who watched so much television her eyes became rectangular.

  When Cooper saw Tyrone picking at his bellybutton fluff he warned him that putting a finger in a bellybutton was tremendously dangerous. When Tyrone had asked why, Cooper told him that it would make his legs fall off. He said he once knew a boy whose legs fell off because he poked his bellybutton too hard.

  The thing was, Cooper always seemed so sincere when he was telling his crazy stories that we never knew whether to believe him or not.

  One morning when Cooper had been living with us for about two months, he asked me to take him to school.

  ‘We’re not allowed to take pets to school,’ I told him. ‘I’ll get in trouble.’

  ‘No one will see me,’ Cooper said. ‘I promise I’ll hide in your bag and stay invisible.’

  With all I’d learned about him so far, I wasn’t at all sure Cooper would keep his promise. I’d lost count of the number of times he’d promised not to eat Mum’s biscuits but he had kept doing it anyway.

  ‘Why do you want to come to school anyway?’ I asked, trying another angle. ‘You’ll just get bored.’

  ‘I’ve always wanted to go to school,’ Cooper pleaded. ‘School sounds like such a wonderful place. Books, libraries, learning. Who wouldn’t want to go to school?’

  I imagined Cooper loose in my school and shuddered at the thought. Goodness knows what trouble he would cause.

  In the end, I had no choice in the matter. I had got into the habit of checking my bag before leaving for school just in case Cooper decided to stow away but one morning I slept in and was running late. I forgot to check my bag.

  Cooper saw the opportunity and took it. I found him during recess. I opened my bag and found the contents of my lunchbox half eaten. Cooper was curled up in the bottom, snoring gently. I carefully picked up my bag and went to the toilet. I checked that I was alone, locked the toilet door and pulled Cooper out of my bag.

  ‘What are you doing here?’ I asked him.

  ‘I told you that I wanted to go to school,’ Cooper said as he scratched his ear.

  ‘And I said no,’ I reminded him.

  Cooper ignored me. ‘I must say I have found school to be quite disappointing so far,’ he said. ‘I’ve hardly learnt anything new at all. Perhaps the library will be more interesting. Can you show me where it is?’

  I looked at my watch. ‘I’ll have to take you later. I have to get back to class now.’ I placed Cooper carefully back into my bag. ‘Stay out of sight. And stay out of my lunch.’

  I went back to the classroom and put the bag under my desk. Our teacher Miss Bunney asked us to get out our maths books and do questions twelve through to twenty. I was halfway through question fourteen when I felt a tug at my pencil.

  ‘Psst,’ said a voice and a nose touched my hand. Cooper was invisible again and standing on my desk.

  ‘Stop it,’ I muttered quietly. ‘Get back in the bag.’

  ‘It’s important,’ Cooper whispered. ‘You may be in danger.’

  Danger? What did he mean?

  ‘It’s your teacher,’ Cooper said urgently. ‘She’s a witch.’

  Miss Bunney had been at my school for as long as I could remember. She was calm and gentle with silver hair and kind grey eyes. The idea that she was a witch was absurd.

  ‘Miss Bunney is not a witch,’ I mumbled to Cooper.

  ‘Is too,’ he replied. ‘Just look at the wrinkles on her face.’

  ‘Wrinkles do not make someone a witch,’ I whispered angrily. I felt around the table to see if I could find him.

  ‘Well what about her hands,’ a voice said next to my ear. ‘She has warts on her fingers. Probably from handling toads.’

  ‘Go away!’ I softly hissed. I grabbed at the air beside my head but Cooper had gone. I looked up to see Miss Bunney watching me carefully.

  ‘Jinnifer Langley, is something wrong, dear?’ Miss Bunney asked.

  ‘No, Miss Bunney. It’s just a . . . a mosquito bugging me,’ I said quickly.

  Miss Bunney pushed her glasses back up onto her nose and returned to marking papers. I put my head down, my cheeks burning.

  After about a minute I felt another tug on my pencil.

  ‘Well, what about her name then. Miss Bunney! Have you ever heard of a more hideous, witchy name in all your life? Why the very sound of it makes my bones tremble.’

  ‘Cooper!’ I spat through clenched teeth. ‘We will talk about this later. Now go away!’

  I didn’t hear from Cooper for the rest of class. At lunchtime I emptied out my bag but Cooper was nowhere to be seen. I wondered if he had managed to teleport himself back home. It was a bigger distance than he’d done before.

  After lunch I had library hour. I was searching for a book on painting in our free borrowing time, when Cooper suddenly reappeared, peeking out from under a bookshelf. I almost jumped out of my skin.

  ‘You scared me half to death, Cooper!’ I whispered. ‘Where have you been anyway?’

  ‘I found my own way to the library,’ Cooper said innocently. ‘You told me to go away.’

  I pursed my lips. ‘You know what I meant.’

  ‘So,’ Cooper said. ‘What are you going to do about the witch?’

  ‘Miss Bunney is not a witch!’ I said in exasperation.

  Several girls from my class stared at me with wide eyes before turning to each other and giggling. My cheeks burned as I pushed the book I was holding back onto the shelf.

  Cooper just shook his head. ‘I don’t understand how you can’t see it,’ he said, frustrated. ‘I guess I’ll just have to prove it to you then.’ He crawled back under the bookshelf.

  ‘Cooper!’ I called. I got down onto my hands and knees and felt around under the bookshelf but Cooper was gone.

  I hunted the library for the rest of free time but couldn’t find Cooper anywhere. It was during Mrs Parker’s story time that I spotted him on a bookshelf above where Miss Bunney was sitting, sorting out readers. Actually, I didn’t so much spot Cooper as I did the big book that was slowly moving towards the edge of the shelf, seemingly on its own. The spine of the book was over the edge of the shelf and the book was teetering back and forth. If it fell it would land right on Miss Bunney’s head.

  ‘Miss Bunney, watch out!’ I shouted as the book was shoved forward.

  Miss Bunney jumped up and the book crashed down onto the chair behind her. She looked up at the space where the book had been on the shelf.

  ‘Goodness me!’ she said, holding her hand to her chest. She was breathless and her hands were trembling.

  Mrs Parker helped Miss Bunney to another chair and sent someone to get a glass of water. Miss Bunney drank the water and the colour gradually returned to her face.

  Mrs Parker apologised to Miss Bunney, saying that she had no idea how such a heavy book could have fallen from the shelf.

  ‘I am fine, dear,’ Miss Bunney said patting Mrs Parker’s arm. ‘Thanks to Jinnifer here.’ She gave me a warm smile.

  Once the excitement had died down it was time to return to class. The rest of the afternoon passed quickly and thankfully without incident.

  At home time I checked my bag and found Cooper asleep in one of my sports shoes.

  Tyrone was waiting for me at the front gate so we could walk home together. I carefully handed him my bag and put my finger to my lips. I pointed to the bag, mouthed out ‘Cooper’ and then put my hands together next to my cheek and shut my eye
s as though I was sleeping. Tyrone nodded at me that he understood. I took a piece of paper from my pocket with a note I had written during last period.

  I underlined that last part twice. I held the note up for Tyrone and he nodded with a worried look on his face. I gave him a thumbs-up, then turned and sprinted towards the pet shop.

  I was covered in sweat by the time I arrived at the pet shop. Gary was humming a happy tune and turned towards me when the door buzzer announced my arrival. The smile fell from his face and he walked quickly towards the counter.

  ‘You knew, didn’t you?’ I asked him, removing my gloves and scarf.

  Gary busied himself unpacking small packets of dog treats from a box, making a point to not look at me.

  ‘I don’t know what you are talking about,’ he said.

  ‘I’m talking about Cooper,’ I snapped.

  The mention of Cooper’s name made Gary’s face twitch. He pointed to a sign on the wall behind the counter. ‘NO RETURNS’ it said in bold writing.

  ‘Cooper almost killed someone today,’ I shouted.

  Gary hunched over as though he had been hit in the stomach before straightening himself up and taking a deep breath.

  ‘I won’t take him back. I won’t. I can’t!’ he said to me. ‘That guinea pig nearly drove me insane! With the talking and the biscuit crumbs and the disappearing and reappearing! Do you know he once stole a customer’s lunch right from her handbag while I was helping her pick out a new collar for her dog? The customer thought I’d stolen it! She called me a thief and said she’d never come back to my store again! No, I won’t take him back.’

  ‘Well, what am I supposed to do with him then?’ I asked.

  Gary shrugged and shook his head. He pointed to the sign again.

  ‘No returns,’ he said. ‘No returns.’

  When I got home, Tyrone was sitting on my bed with Cooper. He had a packet of chocolate-coated biscuits opened next to him. Cooper was fiercely nibbling at a biscuit, chocolate covering his face and paws.

  ‘He’s eaten eight already,’ Tyrone announced. ‘Mum’s going to kill me when she finds half a packet missing.’