Control: Color Of Love (Contemporary Submissive Romance)

by Lucia Jordan

  Nicole finally approached the bed and sat beside him. "I have to tell you something and I know you're going to be angry."

  He closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. This wasn't going to be good. "What?" Part of him didn't want to know because he was afraid once he heard whatever she had to say, it would change things between them and he didn't want that. Granted, he'd only known her for two nights, but he liked her and he wanted to continue to get to know her. And he really, really wanted her to be his sub.

  "I don't live in the city. I live about six hours north of here."

  Okay, that wasn't so bad. They could still make it work. "Well, it's not an ideal situation but we have options," Logan said. "You can be my weekend sub. Drive down Friday night after work…" He realized he had no idea where she worked or even what she did for a living. "Stay until Sunday evening and then drive back."

  "I don't have a job. I got fired yesterday," she said avoiding his gaze.

  "Oh." He wanted to smile. If she didn't have a job commitment then that meant she could spend more time with him. But the fact that she was fired—smiling seemed insensitive. "Okay so what days will work for you?" Logan couldn't believe he was giving Nicole so much control of when their relationship would take place. He should just tell her what days he expects her to be here and be done with it. What the hell was wrong with him?

  "I'm staying with my friend Alyssa. She has an apartment on the east side."

  Logan smiled. No job and staying close by? That was good enough news that he was willing to overlook the fact that she'd lied to him. Well, technically she didn't lie. The conversation of where she was from and where she lived never came up. "I don't care that you don't have a job, Nicole. Or that you're staying with a friend. Why would you think that would make me angry?"

  "There's more," she said.

  "More?"

  Nicole nodded and after a few moments she finally met his gaze. "That call…it was from Josh, my fiancé," she said.

  Fiancé? Nicole was engaged? Without a word, Logan got out of bed and pulled on a pair of boxer shorts. He dragged an unsteady hand through his hair. There were two things he absolutely would not tolerate: lying and cheating. Nicole had just done both.

  "Logan, please, let me explain." Nicole climbed across the bed and got off on his side. She touched his arm and he jerked away from her.

  "Don't." He turned to face her. "I had one rule, Nicole, one," he shouted, holding up one finger. Logan didn't know if he'd ever been this angry before in his life. He threw up both hands in frustration. All he wanted to do was scream and yell about how unfair it was. That would get him nowhere though. "I need a few minutes," he said and walked out of the room.

  Logan walked out onto his balcony, rested his forearms on the railing, and hung his head. Nicole was engaged. And she'd spent the last two nights in Logan's bed. Letting him touch her, fuck her, and tonight she'd agreed to be his sub. He couldn't believe it. What the hell was going on in her mind? How was any of this okay? She claimed to have an explanation. But honestly, nothing she said would justify what she'd done. Cheating was cheating. It was black and white.

  He blew out a breath. There was only one solution—he had to release her. He had to demand that she leave and once she did, he couldn't see her again. Ever. That thought had his heart stopping and his gut clenching. Logan didn't want to let her go. Why he had no idea. He just knew that he had a thing for Nicole and he wasn't going to be satisfied until he was able to explore it and figure out exactly what it was.

  But…if she was willing to cheat on her fiancé then Logan had no doubts that she'd do it to him as well. And no sub of his would defy him like that. It wouldn't be allowed. Knowing what had to be done; he swallowed the lump in his throat and went back inside. Upon entering the bedroom, Logan expected to find Nicole fully clothed and ready to leave. He did not expect to find her on the floor at the end of the bed, kneeling, hands behind her back, and head down.

  The sight of her presented for him made his dick hard immediately. Sure, he'd had his fair share of subs present for him, but there was something about seeing her like that. His entire body tingled. His heart raced, his palms became sweaty, and his fingers ached to touch her. Nicole was like that one special toy you had that you could never touch but desperately wanted to. He stood before her, looking down at her, indecision tearing through him. No harm could come from asking a question, he reasoned. Then, once his curiosity was satisfied, he would do what had to be done. Logan cleared his throat and crouched down in front of her. He wanted to be able to look into her eyes when she answered.

  Logan put his finger under her chin and lifted her head. He nearly tipped backwards from what he saw. Nicole's beautiful green eyes were dull and puffy. She'd been crying. Holy hell, he couldn't handle seeing a woman cry—especially not this woman. It was in that moment that knew he was fucked. Fiancé or not, Nicole belongs to me. He couldn't help how he felt. By nature Dom's were possessive and he was a Dom through and through. Forcing himself to stay calm, he played his part. "I made it clear that that my one unbreakable rule is that you must never lie to me. You do remember that, don't you?"

  "Yes, Sir," she said, her voice low and shaky.

  The urge to just scoop her up in his arms, wipe away her tears, and make love to her was all-consuming. But he couldn't do that. Not yet. "Explain yourself then." Logan searched her face as he waited for her to answer. Nicole licked her lips and Logan stifled a groan. He wanted to kiss her. Real bad. But he didn't make it a habit of kissing his subs until or unless they'd been together for at least six or seven months. And even then the kissing was minimal. He'd always associated kissing with love and marriage. Yet he found himself getting progressively closer to Nicole's lips. Just one small kiss, a tiny taste to quench his desire.

  She spoke before he had the chance. "Yesterday morning when I went to work, I was fired. On my way home I rear ended a car and got a ticket. When I got home I found Josh, my fiancé, in bed with our neighbor," Nicole said, her gaze never leaving his. "I was so angry and hurt I took off. I didn't give Josh a chance to explain, nor did I stop long enough to tell him the wedding was off… Sir."

  Logan could tell by the look in her eyes that she was being completely honest with him. He was grateful for that. "Go on."

  "So you see, Sir, I'm technically still engaged even though I'm not."

  He reached behind her back and took her left hand into his. Grazing his thumb across her ring finger he asked, "Where's your ring?"

  "I threw it out the window on the drive to Alyssa's house, Sir."

  He almost laughed. "Do you love him?"

  "No, Sir."

  Logan cocked a brow. He wasn't quite sure he believed that. "You must if you were going to marry him."

  "I did love him at one time, but things between me and Josh have been wrong for a while now. I knew it was a mistake to marry him. He finally gave me a reason to leave, Sir."

  He noticed her bottom lip trembled when she spoke. It was obvious this was a difficult subject for her to talk about. Once again, indecision tore through him. Did he end this with her now? She clearly had unresolved issues, and feelings, with Josh. He had no business getting involved in that. Or did he thank God that she was no longer engaged and claim her as his sub? That's what he really wanted to do. But he'd had subs in the past that weren't emotionally ready for this type of relationship and things didn't end well. It was dangerous to take this any further, he knew that, yet he still couldn't bring himself to let her go. Logan sighed and stood. "Get up," he said, taking Nicole's hand and helping her to her feet.

  "Are you going to punish me, Sir?"

  The way she said that--it was almost as if she wanted to be punished. Logan's cock jerked in response. "No," he said with a shake of his head. "I'm going to take you home. Get dressed."

  "Why, Sir?" Her eyes widened with fear and uncertainty.

  "Because I think we've both had enough for one night." Logan turned his back to her and be
gan to dress. He still had no idea what he was going to do about Nicole, but he knew he needed some time alone to figure it out because he sure as hell couldn't think straight around her. All he could focus on was her plump, kissable lips, her perky breasts and hard nipples, her nice round ass and how it had flushed such a pretty shade of red for him when he'd spanked her. He forced the thoughts from his mind and focused on getting her home. They dressed in silence. Walked to the car in silence and rode in silence. It was uncomfortable and he didn't like it one bit.

  "I’m sorry, Logan." Those were the last words Nicole said to him before getting out of his car and disappearing into her friend's apartment building.

  "Fuck!" Logan slammed his hand against the steering wheel.

  *****

  It had been three weeks since Nicole confessed to Logan about Josh and her broken engagement. That night was permanently seared into her memory. She'd been terrified that Logan was going to tell her to leave and never come back. God knows she would've deserved it. Thankfully he hadn't. In fact, Logan had continued to see her on a regular basis. She was having the best time being his submissive. Three or four times a week he would pick her up and they'd go back to his place. Sometimes he'd take her out to dinner or they'd take a walk through Central Park. And they always had sex. Nicole smiled. She'd had more sex these past three weeks with Logan than she had in her entire four year relationship with Josh.

  Her smile faded at the thought of Josh. He'd been calling incessantly and she'd been doing a fine job of ignoring him. It was still annoying though. Alyssa suggested that Nicole change her cell phone number. It wasn't a bad idea and she kept saying she was going to look into it, but then she'd get sidetracked with Logan. Speaking of Logan, she hadn't heard from him in almost two days. That was odd. Even on the days they didn't see each other he would always call and check in on her. Nicole got off the couch and rummaged through her purse until she found her cell phone. She had nine missed calls. They were all from Josh. Her heart sank.

  "Okay, I'm out of here," Alyssa said as she set her suitcase by the front door. "You sure you'll be okay here alone for a few days?"

  Nicole laughed. "For the hundredth time, yes! Now go, have fun."

  Alyssa hugged Nicole. "Thanks and I plan to have tons of fun."

  Nicole grinned. Alyssa had been seeing a Dom named Marcus, who was a walking, talking, real-life black Adonis, and he was taking Alyssa away for the weekend. Nicole was happy for her friend. They hugged once more and Nicole locked the door behind Alyssa. Nicole looked around the apartment trying to decide what to do. She really wanted to call Logan. She dialed his number and got his voice mail. She hung up without leaving a message and went to take a shower. He'd call. He always did.

  *****

  Nicole glared at the clock on the wall as if it were somehow responsible for the fact that it was almost midnight and Logan still hadn't called. Where the hell was he? Or better yet, what the hell was he doing? She called him again and once more she got his voicemail. Nicole let out a frustrated scream and threw her cell phone on the floor.

  Her anger slowly morphed into something else, something sinister. Ice-cold fear pulsed through her veins and she had a strong urge to vomit. What if Logan was with another woman? What if Nicole wasn't a good enough submissive for him? What if he decided she wasn't worth the trouble and decided to go find someone else? Oh god! The thought of Logan being with another woman sickened her. Images of Josh's face as he fucked that hussy neighbor flashed in her mind. Only it wasn't Josh's face she saw. It was Logan's.

  She flung the blankets off and got out of bed. It was Friday night. She always spent Friday night with Logan. Nicole put on her robe and tied it tightly around her waist. She shuffled to the living room and plopped down on the couch. If Logan really was with another woman then chances were good that they'd be at his apartment. She knew where he lived. She could drive over there and find out. But what if she caught him with another woman? She knew she couldn't handle that, especially not on the heels of learning about Josh.

  Maybe Logan was at the club? He'd told her that's where he finds his subs. She could just go, check things out, and have a drink or two. It wouldn't be too suspicious. Then again, what if she showed up there and Logan wasn't there? Would it get back to him that she was there? It was a violation of their rules for her to go the club without him. If he found out he might think she was looking for a new Dom and she wasn't. That was the last thing she wanted. In fact, the only thing she wanted was Logan. She longed to hear his voice, that deep, husky, erotic tone that demanded obedience; she longed to see his smile at her with a cocked brow; and she was dying to feel his hands on her body, touching her, caressing her, and bringing her to orgasm.

  Nicole groaned as she lay down on the couch. She pulled the blanket from the back of the couch and draped it over her body. She yawned and closed her eyes even though she didn't expect to get any sleep. And when she felt the first tear trickle down her face, she knew it was going to be a sleepless night.

  *****

  Knock. Knock. Knock.

  Nicole's eyes fluttered open and she rubbed the sleepiness from them.

  Knock. Knock. Knock.

  Who the hell was banging on the door at four in the morning? It was probably Alyssa. Chances were things didn't go well with Marcus and Alyssa decided to come home early only to realize she'd forgotten her keys. Alyssa was famous for doing that. She'd done it in college more times than Nicole cared to remember. Nicole swung her legs off the couch and stood. "I’m coming," she grumbled.

  Knock. Knock. Knock.

  Nicole swung the door open, intent on giving the person on the other side a piece of her mind. She froze. "Logan?" She blinked several times. Am I dreaming?

  "Hi, Nicole," he said shoving his hands in his pockets.

  The sight of him stole her breath. Did he have to look so damn sexy? She stepped aside and held the door open. "Come in." It was her first instinct to start hurling questions at him, but past experience had taught her that wasn't the best option. So, she remained silent.

  "I didn't mean to wake you." He nodded at the couch.

  "It's four in the morning. What did you expect me to be doing?" He laughed and her heart melted. God, she'd missed him. It had only been two days, but it felt like two weeks. Christ she had it bad and that wasn't a good thing.

  "I don't know," he said. "I didn't know if you'd be out with Alyssa."

  "Alyssa went away with Master Marcus for the weekend." Nicole stood in front of the couch, her arms folded over her chest. She was ready to jump out of her skin. What was with all the small talk? That wasn't Logan's style.

  He grinned. "So we're alone then?"

  That look—it was pure, undiluted, sexual want. Her body began a slow burn from the inside out. Her sex throbbed between her legs and her nipples perked up at what she knew was coming. "Yes, we're alone," she whispered breathlessly. Nicole noticed the way Logan's body stiffened and he was no longer the cool, easy-going man she'd been talking to a moment ago. He was in full Dom mode now. She removed her robe, tossed it on the arm of the couch, and dropped to her knees, presenting herself to him.

  Nicole heard Logan's sharp intake of breath moments before he shoved the coffee table out of the way. The force at which he moved it startled her. Then she saw him kick off his shoes and stop in front of her. Nicole held her breath. She'd wanted this, been dreaming of it since the last time it had happened three days ago.

  "Get up," he said in that voice that never failed to get her heart racing and her blood pumping. Nicole got to her feet. "Sit on the couch and spread your legs for me."

  She sat with her back perfectly straight, and spread her legs. Logan knelt between her open thighs, grabbed her by the hips and forcefully yanked her down so that her ass was on the edge of the cushion. He put his hands on her knees and slowly pushed her nightgown up her thighs until it was bunched at her waist. His thumbs stroked along her apex and she moaned. God, she loved his touch. She loved how wi
th a single brush of his finger over her panties he could bring her to life.

  "Why are you so wet already, Nicole?" His gaze was focused solely on her crotch and the damp spot that she could feel down there.

  "Because I want you, Sir. I've missed you." Shit. She shouldn't have said that. Was it really so wrong that she missed her Dom though? That she missed his touch and the feelings he could invoke in her with a single look?

  "What have you missed?" Logan slipped his finger into the side of her panties and ran it up the length of her lips.

  Nicole's fingers curled around the edge of the cushion she sat on and she clung to it and a flurry of sensations rocketed through her body. "Everything," she whimpered.

  Logan gave her clit a firm squeeze and Nicole yelped. "Everything, Sir," he said.

  "Yes, everything, Sir," she said.

  "Good girl," he crooned as he lowered his head and flicked his tongue over her clit.

  Nicole's ass came up off the couch and she moaned. God yes, this is what she wanted. She wanted Logan. She wanted to feel his hand on her, his tongue licking her, and his cock pounding into her. She wanted all of him. Her fingers bunched in his hair, the silky strands tickling her knuckles.

  "Mmm." Logan drew her clit into his mouth and sucked on it as he worked two fingers into her pussy, his fingertips stroking her delicate inner walls.

  "Yeah, oh god, Logan," she cried. Her orgasm was coming on hard and fast. It was like a runaway freight train barreling through her body. Logan released her clit and licked up one side of her folds and down the other. It was so light, so gentle; she wondered if he'd really done it or if she just imagined it. And then he pulled his fingers from her and she wanted to scream. She'd been so close and now she was left feeling empty and unsatisfied.

  "I'm not letting you come that easy," he said. "I want you to beg for it, Nicole. I want you to beg for me and my cock." Logan lifted her nightgown and removed it from her body. He took her breasts into his hands, kneading them with his palms before leaning down and taking first one and then the other into his mouth. His tongue swirled around her nipples, his teeth nipping at them until they were painfully hard peaks.