Going Rogue

by Chantal Fernando

  “I guess it’s up to Rogue to tell you about his lifestyle,” Erin says to me, studying me with her beautiful blue eyes. “I just don’t want you to freak out at some point and think it’s too much, because I don’t want to see Rogue get hurt. As you know, he’s going through a lot with his mom right now, and he doesn’t need any more shit going wrong in his life. That’s why he was drinking so much tonight, you know? His brother rang him from fuck knows where, asking how their mom was. When Rogue hung up the phone, we could all tell he was just drained and upset, so we offered him alcohol. It’s the only way we know how to deal with things around here.”

  That mollifies me a little. He was upset, not just some raging alcoholic who blew me off because he was peer-pressured into having a few drinks by a pregnant woman who was only pretending to drink.

  What the fuck?

  How is this my life right now?

  I tilt my head back and finish the rest of the drink in one big gulp.

  And then I ask for another.

  9

  “So you’re saying the first time your cousin came here, the cops pulled up with guns and arrested everyone?” I ask Erin, my eyes wider than ever. “I really hope that doesn’t happen tonight. I’ve never been arrested, but I don’t think I’d handle it very well.”

  “Yeah.” Erin nods, looking toward Knuckles. “Celina is his old lady. Don’t ask me why she didn’t run.”

  “Love makes you do stupid things,” Knuckles adds, standing up. “Speaking of, I better get home to her and our babies. I’ll see all of you tomorrow. And Zoe, it was nice to meet you.”

  “You too, Knuckles,” I tell him, smiling. “Even though you could have just told me he was drunk and saved me from this midnight adventure. Rogue let me meet David once; you’ll have to give him a kiss from me.”

  “Will do. And where’s the fun in that?” he asks, flashing me a wink and disappearing.

  “Soooo,” I drag out, looking between Prez and Erin. “Is it weird hanging out with your dad, like, socially?”

  Erin starts laughing, and Ace just shakes his head at her. “Yeah, it can be weird. Especially because Dad is single and likes to mingle. And I have to see that. But you know what? It’s not so bad. I just want him to be happy, and I like having him around all the time. We didn’t have each other growing up, so I’m never going to take the old bat for granted.”

  “I had to watch her shack up with Ace,” Prez points out to me. “All is fair in love and war, apparently.”

  I grin and eat some of the mac and cheese Knuckles made me before he left. Speaking of Knuckles, “How is he going to get home?”

  “Jasper will take him,” Erin explains to me. “Don’t worry, he won’t be doing any drinking and driving.”

  “Didn’t you pick her up on your bike after having a drink?” Prez asks, as if only just realizing. “I didn’t even think of that. Ace, control your woman.”

  Ace, who I’m assuming knows she’s pregnant and wasn’t drinking, doesn’t look as angry over the incident. “She only had one drink, she said she was fine.”

  Should she be riding while pregnant? I should Google that.

  “I should probably go home. I mean, I thought I was going to get laid tonight for the first time in over a year, but instead I’m having drinks with you guys, which, don’t get me wrong, has been a whole lot of fun, but also features much less penis than my original plan for the night,” I admit drunkenly to Erin, Ace, and Prez.

  “Over a year?” Ace asks, wincing. “Fuck, that’s rough. Someone go drop a cup of water on Rogue’s face. It’s time for him to wake up and take care of the poor girl.”

  “Why don’t you just stay here tonight?” Erin offers, lifting her legs up and onto Ace’s lap. “He’ll be good to go in the morning, and then you can make up for lost time. I’ll play loud music so you don’t have to worry about the rest of us hearing you.”

  “Wish you did that for the rest of us,” Prez mutters under his breath, making me laugh.

  “I don’t know. Rogue will probably get the shock of his life if he wakes up and I’m in bed with him. Can you imagine? I’m the last person he probably thought he’d see here in the clubhouse,” I tell them, smirking.

  “That’s exactly why you should stay,” Erin says, lip twitching. “You know, mix things up a little and keep him on his toes.”

  “It’s late,” Ace adds, shrugging. “I can take you home if you like, though. I’m sober as shit.”

  “If you do stay, we promise no cops will show up demanding we lie on the floor with our hands behind our backs,” Erin adds.

  “Don’t be making promises you can’t keep,” Prez tells his daughter, and I can’t tell if he’s joking or being serious. He stands up and nods at me. “I’m off to bed, but you’re more than welcome to stay. If you don’t want to, Ace can take you home. Good night.”

  “Good night,” we all say to him, and then I’m left with Miss Secret Pregnancy and her man. I don’t want Ace to have to drive me, and I don’t think a taxi would come here. The truth is, I’m probably just making excuses and wanting to spend the night with Rogue. I just didn’t think he’d be comatose for our first night together.

  “I guess I’ll go cuddle against his cold, lifeless body,” I tell the two of them. “Thanks for tonight, I had fun meeting and talking shit with you guys.”

  “That’s what we’re here for,” Erin calls out as I disappear back down the hallway.

  I feel like Alice in Wonderland.

  Down the rabbit hole.

  I open his door, step inside, and lock it behind me. I pull out a bottle of water I keep in my handbag and place it on the side table next to his head. I don’t have any painkillers on me, but he’s going to need them. After staring down at his sleeping form, I feel a little weird and am about to just fuck it and ask Ace to drive me home when Rogue opens his eyes and sees me.

  “Hey,” I say softly, sitting down on the bed. “How are you feeling?”

  “Not too bad, considering,” he murmurs, confusion setting in, his brow furrowing. “Am I dreaming?”

  I shake my head and laugh. “No. I was wondering why you didn’t come over, so I called your phone, and Knuckles picked up, and well . . . I somehow ended up in your domain. And I haven’t been arrested yet, but it’s still early morning. And considering the fact that I kind of want to kill you over tonight’s events, who knows what might happen.”

  “They told you about that, huh?” he asks, wincing and sitting up. “Fuck, I’m sorry, Zoe. My brother called, and we were talking about Mom, and . . . Fuck. I’m pretty sure I’m still drunk.”

  “It smells like you are,” I tell him with a nose wrinkle.

  He slides out of bed and grabs the water I left for him, downing half the bottle. “What time is it?”

  “Three a.m.”

  “I can’t believe you’re in my room right now,” he mutters to himself, rubbing the back of his neck. “What the fuck.”

  “I know, a bit random,” I agree, sliding my shoes off. “But I’m here, and I’m staying until sunrise, so don’t wake up and freak out.”

  “I’m going to have a quick shower,” he murmurs, and when I look up at him, I realize that he’s very, very naked.

  “Oh,” I whisper, clearing my throat.

  He flashes me a panty-dropping smile and casually walks to his attached bathroom, giving me a look at everything he has to offer. He doesn’t have an ounce of fat on him, just smooth, hard muscle.

  His cock is hard, and it’s even bigger than I thought it was.

  I glance away quickly but don’t shy away from staring at his ass as he disappears into the bathroom.

  Wow.

  Rogue is something else. I don’t even know what to say. His body has me speechless, and his dick has me hungry and squeezing my thighs together. Looking down at my jeans and T-shirt, I start to undress, leaving on my panties and bra. This is what I would have slept in anyway, right?

  Right?

  Okay, proba
bly not, but he’s awake now, and I mean all of him is awake, and I don’t want what I’m wearing to go to waste.

  It was for him, after all.

  I ripped off the garters and stockings before I left the house, but the set still looks sexy with just the bra and panties. I hear the shower turn off, and a few moments later he’s standing in front of me wearing nothing but a fluffy white towel and a smile.

  “Holy fuck,” he whispers, looking at me like I’m the eye candy here. “You look . . . Fucking hell, Zoe.”

  He drops the towel on the floor and kneels down, pulling the blanket off me so he can see all of me. I lean forward and kiss his shoulder, droplets of water touching my lips. He smells like mint and sin, and I can’t wait to get a taste of him. This didn’t pan out how I wanted it to, but as long as he’s here with me, I don’t give a fuck.

  He’s the right person, and that’s all that matters.

  But then he slides into the bed, and even with his raging hard-on, he doesn’t make a move.

  He pulls me to him, hugging me. “I don’t want to be even a little bit drunk for our first time, so we’re going to have to wait until morning.”

  I could kill him, but it’s sweet. I don’t want him to be drunk either, because he needs to remember every second of us together.

  Expelling a deep sigh, I move to rest my cheek on his smooth chest. “How do you have so much willpower?”

  He barks out a dry laugh. “I don’t, trust me. Seeing you like this—fuck, Zoe. I don’t think I’ve ever been so turned on in my life, but I want to do things right. I only get one chance for that, and I don’t want to screw it up. You’re more than just a fuck, and I’d never treat you like that. I’m sorry I was such an idiot tonight. I just wasn’t in a good place and didn’t want you to see me like that.”

  “I get it,” I tell him, but then add, “Next time I expect a message, though, all right? I got worried. And then when you didn’t even pick up your own phone . . .”

  “I promise,” he murmurs, nuzzling my neck. “I love having you in my bed.”

  “I love being here,” I tell him, running my fingers down his abs. “And holy moly, those are some nice muscles you’ve got going on there.”

  His body shakes as he chuckles. “You’re so fuckin’ cute, Zoe.”

  I close my eyes, trying to calm myself and listen to him breathing. Suddenly I don’t even care if we aren’t going to have sex right now, because he’s pressed up against me, his skin against mine, and I feel something I’ve never felt with another man.

  I feel like I’m home.

  10

  I must have been tired because I passed out straight away, wrapped in Rogue’s warmth. He wakes up before me and comes in with some coffee, wearing nothing but a pair of low-slung gray sweatpants.

  “Good morning,” he rumbles, leaving the mug on the table next to me. “How did you sleep?”

  “Like a baby,” I tell him, yawning. My phone starts to go off, and I know from the ring tone it’s Vanessa. “That would be my sister.” I answer with “I’m alive, don’t worry.”

  “Well, that’s good news,” she says. “I’m glad I don’t need to have a standoff with a clubhouse full of bikers. Where are you?”

  “Still at the clubhouse with Rogue.”

  “Okay, call me when you get home,” she says to me. “I hope you finally got some dick . . .”

  I hang up on her, but I know Rogue heard her because he starts laughing. “You seem to have made an impression on Erin,” he says. “I ran into her in the kitchen, and she’s going on about how you have her approval.”

  “Well, that makes my life easier,” I joke, sitting up and taking a sip of the warm coffee goodness. I get up and use his bathroom, and even do the good old toothpaste-on-my-finger thing before returning to bed, where he pulls me back against him and presses his lips against my neck.

  “I’m sorry about last night,” he says again, trailing his lips down my sensitive skin. “Is there any way I can make it up to you?”

  Now, I’m good at many things, but dirty talk isn’t one of them. I tend to go quiet and say nothing at all or laugh.

  I try not to do either and go along with him.

  “I’m sure you’ll figure something out,” I reply, not really dirty talk but playing along with his words, acting all coy and shit.

  I’m happy with my response when he replies with, “Why don’t you tell me what you want me to do to you first.”

  Oh, fuck.

  I don’t want to tell him, I just want him to do it. And I mean that for every time we’re in bed together, so I tell him that. “I want you to take control, and kiss me all over my body, and then let me taste you. And then I want you to fuck me in whatever position you want until we both come.”

  Should I add that I don’t do anal? Or should I save that for a later chat?

  I decide to save it. No point ruining his hopes and dreams before we’ve even had sex.

  He starts to kiss me gently, and I melt into him. I love how he kisses, and when he rolls me under him, my hands are in his hair, down his back, squeezing his ass, while he kisses my neck some more, then wanders down my body, kissing the top of my breasts and my nipples through the thin lace of my bra. Pulling down the straps and taking his own cool time, he eases down the cups and licks my nipples, sucking them in and out of his mouth before trailing lower, down my stomach, over my navel, and to the top of my panties. He glances up at me then—to make sure I’m watching? I don’t know, but there’s no way I’m going to look away. He pulls my panties down as he kisses my hips and then my inner thighs.

  “So beautiful,” he breathes before his mouth is on my pussy, licking gently.

  “Fuck.”

  I forgot just how good this is.

  My thighs start to tremble, it’s been so long, and I’m so wet for him already, all my senses are heightened. The tip of his tongue brushes my clit, and my back arches of its own accord.

  And then he’s licking my clit, and the next thing I know, it’s all over, and I come muttering his name, over and over, whispered like a prayer. I’ve made myself come many times, but nothing compares to this, and I can’t believe I’ve gone so long without.

  Then again, Rogue is worth the wait.

  I try to sit up and reach for him, because it’s my turn next, but he removes his pants and pushes me back down on the bed and presses his thick, hard cock against me.

  “I want to taste you,” I say, but it comes out all breathless.

  “Next time,” he grits out between clenched teeth. “Are you on the pill?”

  I nod.

  “Can I?” he asks me, positioning himself at my entrance. “I’ve been checked and I’m clean.”

  I nod, and before my head even returns to its original position, he’s gently sliding inside me, and my eyes are practically rolling in the back of my head. “Oh my God,” I cry out, lifting my hips, needing more. “You feel so fucking good.”

  Hey, maybe I’m better at dirty talk than I thought.

  “Fuck, so tight, Zoe,” he murmurs, leaning down to kiss me. I taste myself on his tongue, and it only turns me on even more. Once his cock is all the way inside, he starts to move, thrusting gently, and it feels amazing. I wrap my legs around him and slide back and forth with him, creating that delicious grind that feels so fucking good, I know I’m going to come a second time, especially when he knows just the right angle that hits my clit with every movement.

  We fit perfectly together.

  When he starts to suck on my nipples, he sends me over the edge once more, only this time he joins me, both of us moaning and panting and just enjoying the fuck out of the moment. When I come back to myself, he’s lying next to me, our hands touching at our pinkies.

  “That was amazing,” I tell him. “I feel like a new woman, seriously.”

  He laughs softly, rolls over, and kisses my temple. “You are amazing, and fuck, so sexy.”

  I smile and close my eyes.

  Content
.

  I ended my dry spell, and I couldn’t be happier.

  But the truth is, I’d just be happy being around him, whether we’re in bed or not, and I think that can be a very dangerous thing.

  After a shower together, Rogue and I resurface for food. Erin and Ace are in the kitchen, laughing at something between themselves, when we enter.

  Erin beams at the sight of us. “Good morning, you two.” She looks at me and adds, “Sorry, I forgot to hold my end of the bargain and play loud music, so the whole clubhouse heard the two of you, but it’s okay, we have no boundaries here, so welcome to the family.”

  I cover my face with my hands.

  “Erin,” Rogue growls at her, which I think is kind of cute. He pulls out a chair for me, and I sit down while he scurries about the kitchen, making us breakfast. Erin and Ace sit down and watch him with me.

  “Has he ever made breakfast for a woman before?” Erin asks Ace, eyes narrowing slightly.

  “Don’t think so,” he replies, leaning back in his chair. “He’s usually sitting on the counter drinking beer.”

  “True,” Erin replies, grinning. “I’ve had a few beers and great chats with him on that countertop.”

  “I remember,” Ace mutters, a muscle ticking in his jaw. “At least Rogue is taken now, so all the women can stop drooling over the bastard.”

  “You know I’m standing right here and can hear you, right?” Rogue says, his dry tone making me smile.

  “Him being taken won’t stop women from looking,” Erin points out, sounding entertained. “There’s nothing wrong with looking, it’s the touching that’s an issue. Do you know how to fight, Zoe? I feel like you should learn.”

  “Leave her alone,” Rogue tells them, scowling. “You’re going to scare her off. She’s not you, Erin, she’s not going to beat the crap out of some girl and break her nose.”

  Erin sighs happily. “Good times. It happened right there,” she says to me, pointing to a spot in the room. “And she deserved it.”

  “I’m a lover, not a fighter, but my sister is a really good fighter,” I tell them all, watching as Rogue hisses when some oil from the bacon splashes on his bare chest. “She does jujitsu and boxing.”