Going Rogue

by Chantal Fernando

  The man is a machine.

  “One second,” I tell them, and rush to the toolbox I keep under my sink, grabbing a pair of pliers. I disinfect them in the vodka, then bring them back to Ace. Taking a deep breath, I share a look with Rogue and then dive in, gently pressing the pliers into the wound until I find the bullet, then pulling it out. I can’t imagine how much that would have hurt, but Ace doesn’t even make a noise.

  “Fuck,” I whisper in relief when I stare at the bullet, then place it and the pliers on the table next to me. I pour some more vodka onto the wound and then bandage it up. This is some pretty shoddy first aid, and I hope I haven’t made things worse by not just leaving the bullet in. It wasn’t too deep, though, and he was bleeding a lot, which makes me think that taking it out was indeed the right call. I sit back on the couch and catch my breath, trying to calm my racing heart. I don’t know what the fuck they got up to today, but it’s obviously the reason they can’t go to the hospital without being arrested. Rogue has some fucking explaining to do. He can’t bring his problems to my doorstep and then keep me in the dark about what’s going on.

  He brought me into this, and now I’m a part of it.

  “Thanks, Zoe,” Ace mutters, eyes closed. “Rogue, do you know where Erin is?”

  Rogue touches my thigh, still standing, his eyes thanking me as he calls Erin. “Erin? Where are you?” he asks. “Okay. Bye. She’s a minute away,” he assures Ace, leaning down in front of him. “Almost here, all right? Don’t worry about anything, you just keep talking to me, because I don’t want you to pass out.”

  “I’m not going to pass out,” Ace murmurs, looking at Rogue. “I’m fine. It’s just a bullet. It’s going to take more than that to get rid of me.”

  “I believe that,” Rogue replies, lifting his head when there’s a knock on the door. I rush to let Erin in; she looks so worried that all I want to do is hug her. She runs to her man and then is straight to business, looking over my handiwork, checking his fever, pupils, and all other stuff I didn’t think to do.

  “Zoe removed the bullet—he was losing too much blood,” Rogue tells her, stepping away.

  “You did the right thing, Zoe,” Erin tells me, and I want to cry in relief. Last thing I want is to be known as the girl who killed one of the Cursed Ravens.

  As I scrub my hand down my face in relief, Rogue’s arms come around me and hold me together.

  “You did so well,” he says, the pride in his voice unmistakable. “Thank you, Zoe, and I’m so fuckin’ sorry I had to bring this here in the first place.”

  “Are you going to tell me what happened?” I ask, turning around to face him. “Considering everything, I think I deserve to know.”

  He scans my eyes, then hesitantly nods. “Deal gone wrong. The police showed up, and we all had to get the fuck out of there. Bullets were fired, and Ace got shot. Then the cops chased us, but luckily, we lost them. They’ll be looking for us, and if we had gone to the hospital they would have known it was us. I didn’t want to go back to the clubhouse in case they were already waiting for us, so I came here. I wasn’t really thinking; I don’t know. You’re the first person I thought of, the only person I can trust.”

  “What kind of deal?” I ask him softly, gaze unwavering. He’s never told me what the MC actually does, just that they have several different businesses they dabble in, and from what I’ve gathered, they make a lot of money from that. Do they sell drugs? I don’t know how I’d take that, to be honest. I can’t imagine Rogue being a drug dealer or anything like that, but I guess you can’t look at someone and judge that. Just because he’s smart, good looking, well dressed, and smells fucking delicious doesn’t mean he doesn’t sell drugs.

  He shifts on his feet, and I can see that he doesn’t want to tell me.

  “I’m not going to tell anyone,” I assure him, frowning. “You just said you trusted me, so I don’t see what the problem is. I’m in this with you, Rogue. Your friend is bleeding out on my couch, and you’re a big part of my life. You need to let me in.”

  “What if it’s too much for you?” he asks me, rubbing the back of my neck. “I mean, everyone has a breaking point, and what if you start to learn everything about my life, it becomes too much, and you decide to bail?”

  “You think I might get scared and run off, so you want to keep me in the dark about everything instead? It doesn’t work like that, Rogue. If I’m the right woman for you, then I’m not going to run, but you can’t just decide what to tell me and what to censor. You’re all in or you’re not. I’m not asking for all your club secrets, but when it comes to something like this, something that I’m now involved in, I deserve to know the truth. Not only that, but I’d like to know what kind of danger you’re putting yourself in. If something happened to you, I’d be fucking devastated.”

  “Zoe—”

  “This isn’t just about you anymore,” I say, cutting him off. “Is it drugs?”

  “No, it’s not,” he promises me, hands gripping my hips and bringing me closer to his body. “Guns. We were doing a gun deal.”

  I grit my teeth. With everything going on in the world right now, it’s not exactly what I wanted to hear, but at least he’s being honest. “Okay, now, was that so hard?”

  He searches my eyes as if waiting for the judgment to appear in them, or maybe even a change in the way I look at him—I’m not sure—but I look at him the same way I always have, and I let him see that.

  I let him see that and more.

  No guards up, no walls, no barriers.

  Just me and what I feel for him.

  And finally, he smiles.

  13

  Erin says that she feels confident Ace will be okay, but they make an appointment with a doctor they know who makes home visits and keeps it on the down low. He can’t arrive till around eight a.m., so Ace will have to wait until then.

  “So, what, he does secret home visits but charges a fortune? Or how does it work? It sounds pretty shady,” I ask Rogue out of sheer curiosity.

  “We don’t pay him anything,” Rogue admits, reaching down and taking my hand into his, intertwining our fingers and keeping his eyes on them.

  “No one does anything for free,” I comment with an arched brow, waiting for him to explain, because there has to be more to it.

  “They have something on him,” Erin inserts, sitting down on my coffee table, facing us. She looks tired, her blue eyes weary and her face pale. “I don’t know what it is, but they pretty much blackmail him in emergencies to come and help. He hates it, and all of us, and tries to get out of it, but he knows if he doesn’t show up, then they’ll use whatever they have on him against him, and the good doc obviously doesn’t want that to happen.”

  “And here I thought you guys just paid him like ten thousand dollars or something to keep quiet,” I mutter, my mind blown. I need to get used to hearing shit like this if I’m going to be with Rogue. This is their world, where they do gun deals, get shot, and blackmail health professionals. I can see why he’s scared that this all might get to be too much for me. I mean, it is overwhelming, and it makes you question everything. Like, why am I attracted to such a man? Why couldn’t I just be happy with a dentist or something? But you know what? Rogue is who I want. And he happens to come with all of this craziness. If Erin can handle it, why can’t I?

  “Nope,” Erin replies, smirking at Rogue. “What do you have on him, by the way? Dad never told me.”

  “He cheats on his wife with prostitutes and has a huge gambling problem,” Rogue admits to the two of us. “We have some photos that will ruin his marriage and his reputation and put his practice on the line.”

  I stop feeling sorry for the man at the part about the prostitutes and move the sympathy to his wife.

  “He sounds like a stand-up guy,” I mutter, glancing down and realizing that this whole time I’ve been wearing the white see-through nightie, no bra, and lace panties. “And someone could have told me I’ve been standing here basically
naked this entire time.”

  Erin lowers her gaze and grins. “I thought you knew, so I was kind of enjoying the view.”

  I turn to Rogue with pursed lips, but he just grins and shrugs at me. “Since Ace is practically dying, I doubt he’s looking, so it’s just me and Erin here.”

  “And if there were a nondying male here?” I shoot back, trying to understand his reasoning.

  He scowls, a muscle ticking in his strong jaw. “Then I’d be shirtless and you’d be wearing my clothes.”

  “You have serious problems, Rogue,” I decide to let him know, crossing my arms over my breasts. “The way you justify things . . .”

  “Just roll with it,” Erin says, smiling briefly before sighing as the reality hits her. “Okay, I guess we should smuggle Ace back into the clubhouse. Dad said that no police came or are nearby, so they must have had no idea who you were. No one was dumb enough to wear their cuts to the meeting, so they don’t have anything to go by unless they recognize your faces and do a sketch or something. Doubt they’d go through all of that effort, though, and I doubt they’d remember any one particular person.”

  She moves to sit next to me and pulls me in for a big hug. “I don’t know if you’re a hugger or not, but I have to give you one anyway and say thank you so much for helping Ace and handling the situation like a fucking queen. You are the fucking best, Zoe. Thank you for having our back.”

  “You’re welcome,” I tell her, hugging her back. “I don’t mind hugs. And I’m just happy that I didn’t kill him, because I was so scared something was going to go wrong and he was going to bleed out on my couch. I know everyone thinks I’m basically a registered nurse, but as you know, that takes much more training. I’m trained to look after the elderly, and they don’t regularly come in with bullet wounds.”

  “You trusted your gut and went with it, and you nailed it,” she says to me. “Your natural instincts kicked in. You’d be an amazing nurse.”

  Well, instincts and Google.

  She kisses me on the cheek, then stands up. “You going to help me take him down the stairs?” she asks Rogue, who nods and gets up straight away.

  “I’ll carry him down the stairs,” he tells her, frowning. “You’re pregnant, you shouldn’t be lifting things.” He pauses and adds, “Or dealing with any stressful situations like this one.”

  “I’m tougher than the average pregnant woman,” Erin replies with a toothy grin, then turns back to Ace. “Time to get you home.”

  Rogue carries him down the stairs and to the car, then runs back up to my door to kiss me goodbye.

  “I’ll come back later,” he says against my lips. “If you’ll have me.”

  “I need to sleep and then go to work,” I remind him. “But you can come after work.”

  “I’ll bring you lunch,” he says, kissing me again. “Get some sleep. You’re going to be tired tomorrow, and it’s all my fault.”

  “You would have kept me up all night anyway,” I remind him, my tone going husky.

  “Yeah, but for a much better reason,” he says, pushing my hair back behind my ear and kissing my forehead. “Lock the door, then get some sleep. I’m going to make this up to you.”

  He heads back to the clubhouse, and I all but fall onto my bed.

  Vanessa wasn’t wrong—it’s definitely not going to be boring around here anymore.

  Rogue is right about one thing: I’m exhausted at work, but I push through. He comes by at lunchtime with foot-long sandwiches, coffee, and brownies and sits with me outside even though the clouds are covering any rays of sunshine.

  “What did the doctor say?” I ask him as we sit side by side, me cross-legged and him with his legs straight in front of him.

  “He gave Ace some antibiotics so the wound won’t get infected and gave him a proper dressing and all of that. He’s going to be fine,” Rogue says, staring straight ahead. “We were lucky. I can’t believe how well you handled the situation.”

  “I’m glad you couldn’t see just how much I was freaking out,” I admit, putting my sandwich down. “I was so scared. There was so much pressure on me, you know?”

  “I know. I shouldn’t have put you in that situation, but I assumed you were a nurse and would know how to keep him alive,” he says, growling in frustration. “I fucked up, but at the same time I can’t regret it, because you saved him, Zoe. You saved one of my brothers, and I don’t know if you know how much that means to me, but fuck, it’s everything.”

  “It all worked out,” I agree, replaying the situation in my mind. “If I can help you, Rogue, I’m going to, and I want to, but what happened was a miracle, in my opinion, because I definitely wasn’t qualified to do what I did.”

  “I know.” Rogue nods, ducking his head. “The sooner Erin gets her degree, the better, because we really need someone on hand to save our asses.”

  “Or you could just not get shot at,” I insert, my tone dry as the Sahara Desert. “That would be nice.”

  He laughs, his head lifting back. “It’s been a while since any of us have gotten shot, I promise.”

  “Shot or shot at?”

  “Shot. We get shot at all the fucking time,” he replies nonchalantly, sending an amused smirk my way.

  “Can’t even be angry at you when you look at me like that,” I mutter, looking away from those blue eyes.

  “I have a feeling that if you were actually angry, Zoe, I’d know about it,” he murmurs, grinning. “And I’d probably have your sister at the clubhouse doors, challenging me to a duel or some dramatic shit like that.”

  I lose it at that, because it’s absolutely true. “One meet and you have her pinned. She’d totally do something like that too, and never back down.”

  “I can respect that,” he says, offering me his hand. “But you’re the one I’d like to have pinned. Ace getting shot really fucked up our night, huh?”

  “Yeah, but what can you do? A friend almost dying trumps hot sex, I’m afraid.”

  “Tonight?” he asks, heat in his eyes.

  My eyes lazily stroll down his body. “Yeah, tonight.”

  I can’t fucking wait.

  14

  When he messages me saying he’s leaving the clubhouse and will be there in ten minutes, I reply with:

  The door is unlocked, and I’m in bed naked waiting for you.

  Men love that shit.

  Hoping that my apartment doesn’t get broken into in the next ten minutes, I keep changing positions, wondering which one will look the sexiest when he walks through my bedroom door. I’m sitting up against the pillows but realize it kind of makes my boobs look saggy, so I lie down on my side, facing the door and waiting for him to arrive. I kind of get ahead of myself and start absently stroking my nipples, already turned on just knowing that he’s on his way. I’ve been thinking about this all day, and now that the time has arrived, I’m more than ready for him. He comes bursting through the doors in seven minutes, taking me in from head to toe.

  “Mmmm,” he rumbles, eyes devouring me. He makes me feel so beautiful without even saying a word. He doesn’t need to. I can see from his face how much he wants me.

  “Did you speed on your way here?” I ask him, smirking.

  “Maybe. How could I not after your message?” he asks, removing his leather jacket and throwing it on the floor. His white T-shirt comes off too, before he stalks toward the bed.

  “Wearing white today,” I point out, my fingers still playing with my nipples.

  “Told you I mix it up sometimes. I see you’ve started without me. Couldn’t wait a few extra minutes?” he asks, kneeling on the bed. His index finger trails down my thigh, touching my soft skin.

  “I was impatient,” I tell him, boldly spreading my thighs. “I have lost time to make up for, and I can’t help how badly I want you.”

  He grins, flashing his teeth at me. “Be careful what you wish for.”

  “I like a challenge.”

  Lying on top of me, he kisses me gently and
cups the side of my neck with his big, rough hand. “I missed you,” he whispers against my lips.

  “You saw me at lunch,” I remind him, licking the seam of his mouth.

  “I know, but that wasn’t enough, Zoe,” he says in a low growl, then kisses me deeper, a hungry, almost punishing kiss, like it’s my fault he missed me so much and he wants me to know that.

  Secretly loving the fact that he’s admitting this to me, I say, “Well, I guess you’re just going to have to get your fill of me now.”

  “I guess I am,” he replies, his tone thick and husky. Last time he took control, which I really fucking loved, but it also meant I never got to play or taste him, and that’s something that needs to happen tonight. I might be a little out of practice, but I want to pleasure him with my mouth and have him at my mercy. I push his shoulder for him to roll onto his back, and he takes the hint, bringing me with him so I’m on top. I straddle him, leaning down to kiss his lips before exploring farther south, taking my own time, licking and kissing and sucking every inch of his skin that my mouth comes into contact with. When I come to the top of his jeans, I kiss the soft skin there while I undo his belt, button, and zipper, pulling down the denim until his cock is exposed to me. He’s going commando, which I’ve always found intriguing, like isn’t he worried his dick is going to get caught in the zipper? I make a mental note to ask him about that at a more appropriate time. I gently cup his balls before pulling out his giant cock and stroking it in my palms, and I can’t help smiling, happy that I’m finally having my way with him.

  “That was an evil smile,” he comments, and I lift my head to see his eyes pinned on me, watching my every move.

  In reply, I duck my head and peek my tongue out, licking his length up and down before sucking him deep into my mouth. He’s so big that I can’t manage to take all of him in, but I can damn well try, gagging a few times but recovering like a champ. I suck on him as if he’s a giant lollipop, moaning and loving every second of it.