Going Rogue

by Chantal Fernando

  “I need this dose of cuteness,” I say, sitting down on the floor and fussing over the two of them.

  Erin watches me for a moment, then stands up and announces, “I’m pregnant.”

  Out of nowhere.

  You can hear a pin drop in the room, even the babies going quiet all of a sudden.

  “I was nervous about telling my parents, but now Dad’s in jail, which kind of overshadows my pregnancy and saves me from getting lectures. So yes, there’s going to be another Cursed Ravens baby, and you are all going to be babysitting for me. That is all.”

  She sits back down and waits for everyone’s reactions.

  “About time everyone knew,” Celina calls out, glancing over at Ace. “An official congratulations to the two of you, and seriously, Erin, what did you think your dad would do? You’re a grown-ass woman.”

  “Tell my mom, who will never forgive me, and give me endless shit because I’m not married yet?” Erin groans and covers her eyes. “I’m not scared to tell them; I guess I was just trying to put off the inevitable as long as I could. You guys don’t know what my mom can be like. Well, Celina, you know.”

  Knuckles gives Erin a hug and smiles at her. “If she gives you shit, just tell her she had sex before marriage, also with a biker, and had you out of wedlock. She can’t be a hypocrite and pick and choose which things she chooses to follow from the Bible. And congrats, bestie. I call godfather.”

  “I know, but there’s the issue of my degree too.”

  “Don’t stress about it,” Ace says to her, kissing her temple. “If your mom gives you any shit, I’ll have a talk with her. I told you. You’re going to have a stress-free, enjoyable pregnancy, and that’s it. I’ll take you to fuckin’ Hawaii or something if I have to, no one can be stressed out on a tropical holiday.”

  “I’ll be stress-free if you don’t get arrested again,” she grumbles, a smile returning to her face as Rogue gives her a hug.

  “I’m going to be an uncle again,” he says, grinning from ear to ear. “Do I need to buy you and Knuckles a TV? Because soon this clubhouse is going to be a fuckin’ nursery.”

  Everyone laughs.

  At least I know one thing.

  I won’t be contributing to this nursery for many years to come.

  27

  “Something has happened,” Vanessa announces the next morning as she storms into my apartment without any notice, her brown hair piled on top of her head, dressed in active wear.

  “Would it be that you’ve turned into one of those people who wear active wear just because?” I ask her, taking her in from head to toe.

  “No, I’m never going to be one of those people. I’m on my way to the boxing gym, I just needed to stop in and tell you this,” she says, taking a deep breath.

  Rogue walks out of my room before her huge announcement. “Good morning, Vanessa.”

  “Oh, you’re here,” she says, shaking her head. “Never mind, you’re basically family now, so you can hear this too. My promiscuous ways have caught up to me, and now I’m legitimately never having sex again. Ever. Until marriage.”

  “What happened?” I ask her, looking to Rogue with wide eyes. “What do you mean, your ways have caught up to you? If you say that you’re pregnant, I’m going to scream.”

  “I’m definitely not pregnant,” she says, holding her hands up in the air. “That’s worse.”

  “What are you, then?” I ask, wondering where the hell she’s going with this.

  “I accidentally didn’t use protection the last time I slept with this super-hot, super-sweet, amazing guy who might have potentially been the one, and now he’s given me something,” she says, shifting on her feet. “And, you know, ruined the whole thing.”

  “What do you mean, he’s given you something?” I ask, confused.

  “You mean like a sexually transmitted disease?” Rogue asks, sounding amused and horrified.

  “Yes,” she replies shortly, lifting her index finger up. “Save the lecture, I know, I’m an idiot. And it’s chlamydia, so I only need to take a pill or something to fix it, but that’s not the problem. I really like him and now I need to tell him he gave this to me and it’s so awkward and I don’t want to tell him. Did I mention how sexy he is?”

  “Sexy and . . . untested,” I tell her, grimacing. “Jesus, Vanessa, be more responsible. You always tell me to make sure whoever I sleep with wraps his willy, and look at you, enjoying all these unwrapped willies. I’m going to kill you! You’re lucky it was something treatable.”

  “My doctor says chlamydia is as common as a cold,” she huffs, lifting her chin. “Don’t tell me you’ve never caught anything.”

  “I haven’t,” I exclaim, looking toward Rogue. “And don’t ask him, because I don’t want to know.”

  She pulls out her phone. “Okay, I’m going to call him and let him know. Are you ready?”

  “Do we have to be here for this?” I ask her, wrinkling my nose. “Let this be a private moment between you and Mr. Common Cold of the STDs.”

  “No, I need your support,” she says, ignoring my request. “You can suffer with me, that’s what sisters are for.”

  I look over to where Rogue was standing, but he’s disappeared back into my room. Goddammit. I move to the couch and sit down.

  “Hey,” Vanessa says smoothly into the line. Not setting the tone for what she’s about to say. “Yeah, so there’s something I need to tell you. Remember how we had sex without a condom? Uh-huh.” She pauses and then, taking me off guard, she starts to yell. Loudly. Abusively. “Well, you fucking asshole, you gave me chlamydia. Go get tested, and stop being so irresponsible and dragging me and my vagina down with you!”

  She presses the end button and ignores her phone when it starts to ring again. “Okay, I’m going to go to the gym and work my anger out. Thanks for being here for me, sis, love you.”

  And then she walks out, leaving me sitting here, staring at the place she vacated, wondering if anyone else has a sister like this or if it’s just me.

  Rogue returns from his hiding spot, looks at me, and starts laughing.

  Uncontrollably.

  “Welcome to the family,” I say to him with a straight face.

  “Lucky I love you.”

  I am damn lucky.

  After my shift, Rogue takes me out for dinner at Bravo’s, one of the best-known and highest-end restaurants in the city. When we get there, it’s clear to see that he comes here a lot: The manager and staff are very familiar with him. We get the best seat in the restaurant, and everyone goes out of their way to make our dining experience the best.

  “Is there something you’re not telling me?” I ask him, sipping on red wine. He’s looking distractingly good tonight, in a black dress shirt, and it’s hard for me to take my eyes away from him.

  “That if you keep looking at me like that, I’m going to take you out back and have my way with you?” he asks, biting his bottom lip. “You should always wear red dresses, Zoe. You look absolutely stunning, but I feel like a bull, because all I want to do is chase you and pin you down.”

  My lip twitches at that image. “You didn’t answer my question. Why are they treating you like a king here?”

  “Because I have the most beautiful woman on my arm, and because the Cursed Ravens own the restaurant,” he says casually, and my eyes flare at that little titbit of information. No wonder they seem to have a lot of money—this restaurant must bring in so much profit, especially with the prices on the menu.

  “You guys own this? And you’re only taking me here now?” I frown, shaking my head. “Do you know how long I’ve wanted to eat here but could never justify paying that much for one meal?”

  “Well, now you can come here any time you want and try everything on the menu without worrying about how much it costs,” he tells me with a wink. “You can come here without me too. I’ll tell the manager to put you on our VIP list.”

  “I knew there was a reason I’m dating you,” I tease, smi
ling over at him. I reach my foot out to touch his. With me working so much, and him having his own things going on, we haven’t had much time to go on many dates, and it’s really nice to be here with him tonight. I feel so spoiled, and not only because we’re eating here, but because of the attention and affection he always gives me. He’s just so present; there’s no other way to explain it. He’s here with me, and he makes me feel so good about myself, so beautiful, and so alive. He brings so much to my life, and I think that is what a relationship is meant to be. I was happy single, I wasn’t on the hunt for a man or a relationship, but I’m happier with him. Could I live without him? Yes. I could live without any man. I’m strong enough to be on my own.

  But I don’t want to be.

  And I think that’s when you know that you’ve found the right man.

  “You’re looking at me like that again. I don’t make idle threats, Zoe,” he says softly, drinking from his own glass. “Have you decided what you want to eat?”

  I glance back down at the menu, forgetting about him as I consider how delicious the food is going to be. I’m pretty damn excited to be trying something from here tonight. “I want seafood.”

  We run through the menu together, and I decide on the lobster and salad, while he gets a steak, potato, and asparagus.

  “Next time I’m going to get pasta,” I decide as I see someone else’s order come out. “I always love checking out other people’s orders to see what looks good for next time.”

  He chuckles softly. “I know, I was watching your head snap every time a waiter walked past us.”

  “You’ve been here a million times, I’m sure, but this is my first time. I’m excited,” I tell him, squirming in my seat animatedly.

  “I can see that. You’re so fucking cute,” he muses, leaning back in his chair and studying me. “I love watching you eat too. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone enjoy food so much.”

  The food arrives, and I’ve put a mouthful of lobster on my fork when Rogue’s phone rings. I pause with it halfway to my mouth.

  “I’m in the city,” he says to the caller on the other end. “Are they waiting right now? Yeah, fuck. Okay.”

  He hangs up and winces at me, and I know I’m not going to like the words about to come out of his mouth. “Jaxon got the men out, and they kind of need us to pick them up. Ace is going to come too, so we can fit them all in.”

  I eye the succulent morsel on my fork and stuff it into my mouth.

  It’s delicious.

  Amazing.

  “Can we get this to go?” I ask him, begging with my gaze.

  He barks out a laugh and nods, calling over a waiter, who packs up all the food, and then we get out of there. I can tell how happy Rogue is. He’s more excited to pick up the men than I was to eat the food, which sits on my lap during the ride.

  Because priorities.

  28

  I don’t know what strings Jaxon pulled to get the men released, but Ace tells me that the surveillance tapes going missing was one of the key reasons they let everyone go, because if the case went to court, it would get messy, and everyone knew that. Faye had also helped on Jaxon’s behalf. On their own they are forces to be reckoned with, so I can only imagine that no one on the face of this earth would want to deal with the two of them working together.

  “We didn’t have time to make a sign,” Rogue jokes with his president. “But I can think of a few things we could have written on one.”

  “How about Welcome home, your only daughter is knocked up?” Prez replies in a dry tone, ice-cold beer in his hand as he stares out at the night sky. “Or Sorry the cops tried to frame you.”

  “I would have gone with Where’re the drugs at?” Knuckles suggests, crossing his leather-clad arms over his chest, also staring up at the sky. “Now that you are all home, everything is peaceful again.”

  I snuggle into Rogue’s chest, just listening to their voices, the only female in a group of men. Rogue rubs my back, and after eating the delicious Bravo’s meal while the men had a meeting, I feel like I could fall asleep at any moment. I’m full, in my man’s arms, and yeah, like Knuckles said, at peace. Rogue’s family is out of trouble—for now, anyway—and we don’t have to worry anymore. All our loved ones are safe, and that’s all one can really ask for. As the men start to talk politics, I zone out and eventually fall asleep in Rogue’s arms.

  What I’ve learned is that you need to appreciate each and every moment, because nothing is guaranteed, and you never know when everything can be taken away from you.

  After putting it off longer than I should have, I visit my parents and drag Vanessa along with me. The hour-long road trip is filled with loud gangster rap, probably too many food stops for the length of time on the road, and much laughter. Vanessa and I always manage to amuse each other, cracking jokes at each other’s expense, so it’s a good time.

  “How’s the chlamydia going?” I ask as I sit in the passenger seat of her car, bare feet up on the dashboard, my blue nail polish glittering in the sunlight.

  “Chlamydia-free, my friend,” she says to me. “I just had to swallow two tablets and wait a week, but I meant what I said: I’m in no rush to get back on the saddle, if you know what I mean. I’ve been scarred for life. It was like the biggest reality check, even though I’m usually pretty on it with the whole protection thing.”

  “It is pretty scary,” I admit. “And you got lucky this time.”

  “I know,” she agrees, strumming her fingers on the steering wheel in time with the music. “Trust me, I know. I think you just never believe anything will happen to you, but fuck, it has to happen to someone, so why not you?”

  “Imagine if Mom found out. She’d absolutely kill you and never let you live it down,” I tell her, smirking.

  “How is she going to find out? We aren’t going to casually mention it over family lunch,” she says sarcastically. “Well, I’m not, anyway. And if you do, I’m bringing you down with me.”

  “How?” I ask, amusement filling me. I never would, and she knows it, but whenever we go back home, we always end up acting like little kids again, both of us up to no good and trying to get each other into innocent trouble with the parents.

  “I’ll tell her you’re dating a criminal biker who was just arrested,” she says, snickering to herself and bouncing around in her seat. “This week, as a matter of fact.”

  I’d really prefer it if she didn’t mention anything about Rogue and him being a biker, because I wouldn’t hear the end of it, especially with all the legal issues going on right now. “Touché,” I mutter, looking out the window with a grin. “Although she might just be happy that I’m not going to die alone and childless. Although I don’t plan on having kids any time soon.”

  “That’s true. I think she was giving up on you, like I was,” she admits. “Although with your new family come lots of babies, so even if you don’t have any, I can still get my baby fix.”

  “Or you could have your own.”

  “I’m not wasting my perky tits-and-ass years at home with a baby,” she replies, huffing. “I’ll have my children when I let myself go and give up on life.”

  I shake my head. “You’re so ridiculous. Look at Celina: She manages it all, is still sexy as hell, and is pretty perky in all areas every time I see her.”

  Thinking of Celina and the other women in the MC makes me smile. Legal issues or not, they are a family, and one I don’t want to lose. Rogue has become such a big part of my life and has been nothing but good to me since the day we met. I think it’s normal for me to be concerned about everything going on, but I also know that I’m not going to walk away.

  I’m in too deep.

  “That’s true,” she muses, as if considering it. “I guess I need to find Mr. Right before I think of anything else. Someone who can put up with my crazy ass, and someone I won’t get bored of.”

  “And someone who doesn’t give you an STD,” I add for good measure.

  “And that.�
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  “You never told me why you had Prez’s number, by the way. Did anything happen that you might have forgotten to mention?” I ask, realizing I’ve been so caught up in my own shit that I never even asked her about it. When did I become the self-involved one? It’s usually her.

  “I was being kind of flirty and stuff, and he was loving it, but nothing else happened,” she explains. “I had his number because he mentioned he was going to donate some money to the drama club at my school, so he wanted my contact details for that, and then I just asked him for his too. You know, just in case.”

  “You got him to donate money to your school?” I ask, my brow furrowing in shock. “How the hell did you manage that one?”

  “I used my charm, and all my students are going to benefit from it,” she says cheerfully, smiling widely. “They’re going to be so excited when I tell them we can go on more excursions and see more live plays and things like that. It’s a public school, as you know, so money is tight. This way I can give them a little more than what they’ve been expecting in the course.”

  “You are something else,” I say, so proud of my big sister. “Those kids are so lucky to have you.”

  “I know,” she says with no modesty whatsoever. “I’m the best drama teacher in the world.”

  I have to agree with her.

  We park on our parents’ lawn and race each other to the door. Mom answers, wearing a white blouse and beige pants, her brown hair perfectly coiffed.

  “Zoe! Vanessa! How nice of my only children to finally visit me,” she says, opening the screen door to let us in. We give her a hug and a kiss on the cheek in turn.

  “I’ve been working,” I tell her, making an excuse. Vanessa is on school holidays and Mom knows it, so I have no idea what excuse she’s going to come up with.

  “I’ve been so busy looking after Zoe. It’s a full-time job, Mom,” she says, her expression even. “But it’s good to see you, you’re looking as youthful as ever.”