The Unforgiven Sin

by R. Twine

  ‘Nobody must know about it, Miriam. Don’t let it out. To watch you act in the movie, no one would ever think you were a virgin. And you are playing none other than Liz who had a lot of men, and loved having sex! You’re playing a thirty year old woman who saw a lot in her life, and you do it very convincingly and with gusto! No one must know about it, at least until the movie is out on the big screen. As for me, you can be perfectly sure: I’m a gentleman.’

  It was a load off my mind, and I gave a sigh of relief. Sam smiled and said,

  ‘I hope you’re not going to remain a virgin till the end of your days. I love you, Miriam, and if there’s a little of love for me in your heart, I’m ready to wait for as long as is needed. I promise not to keep bothering you with my selfish desires. But tell me, please: May I invite you – at least from time to time – to dinner in a restaurant, or take you out someplace else just to be with you alone?’

  ‘Of course, you may, Sam. Now that you know my secret, it will be easier for us to communicate.’

  Now all my thoughts were about Samuel. I liked him, we suited each other perfectly well, and I was sure his feelings towards me were genuine. I even started dreaming that later on our life paths would converge and we would always be together. I had a hard time putting on the mask of indifference after playing love and passion in front of the camera, but I didn’t want my colleagues to have any suspicions about what I really felt for Sam.

  It was after midnight. I got up, put on my dressing gown and went out to the terrace to marvel at the night city immersed in lights.

  ‘Miriam,’ someone called me from behind; I turned round and saw the Archangel who greeted me with a nod.

  ‘Glad to see you again, Archangel!’ I said joyfully. ‘I’d started to worry that you’d disappeared from my life forever…’

  He extended his hand to me; we started ascending through the clouds and soon found ourselves at the mountain top. Everything there was bathed in a cold blue light, and the Earth remained somewhere far below us. I was looking into an abyss, in fear of taking a wrong step. This place was familiar to me: I’d been there before, between Heaven and Earth, some years ago. There was a gaping entrance to the cave in front of us.

  ‘This is the Cave of Spirits!’ the Archangel proclaimed solemnly. ‘Here’s the place where powerful spirits congregate, the ones that once inhabited the Earth. It is here that the exchange of information between the two worlds takes place. And it was here that you saw your foremothers.’

  The unpleasant memory made me shrink. Michael saw my confusion, and was quick to explain:

  ‘This place serves as a shelter for living people, too. But once you’re inside, you have to be careful. In the parallel world illusions intermingle with real history of past civilizations, and it can cause unpleasant encounters between living beings and spirits. The spirits, however good their intentions are, always try to feed on the energy coming from living people. There were instances when chosen ones entered this cave to meet with powerful spirits, to see the past or the future, but after receiving the information they needed, these people would become captives of long-gone ancient civilizations.’ The Archangel made a vague gesture either underlining the importance of his words or stressing the temporality of everything that exists. ‘Those people would leave this cave already in the form of spirits, after leaving their bodies here… They never managed to bring the secrets of the cave to living beings.’

  ‘Does it mean it could have been my destiny too?’ I shuddered.

  ‘Yes, it does,’ he nodded. ‘Those who pursued you were driven away…by me. But no human being in our care can be completely secured from unforeseen circumstances; incaution and slip-ups can cost you your life. During this period your physical body is not protected, so you have to be extremely cautious.’

  Michael the Archangel thrust out his chest and, full of a special kind of greatness, went on with his speech,

  ‘Satanail is fighting for you because it was you who gave birth to the first people on Earth, thus linking mankind with the upper and lower worlds forever. You’re going to face – again – the temptations the cunning Black Angel has in store for you. He’ll begin looking for ways to get into your womb to create the creatures he needs for his new civilization. In order to do this, the Black Angel will manipulate people through their bodies and souls: he’s capable of taking possession of any human being by taking on the appearance of any man, or by entering into anyone’s body.’

  I was fully aware of the importance of our conversation, so I wanted to get the full idea of what my destiny was.

  ‘The choice will be yours, Miriam. You are the main link in this chain; it was thanks to you that Mankind appeared on Earth. If the outcome is favorable, you’ll be able (through your descendants) to liberate people from eternal suffering. Your descendants will join the fight against Satanail to free humankind from his influence. But there may be another way for the events to play out: your children will give us up again, and join their forces with the Prince of Darkness; after numerous ferocious battles they will succeed in gradually wiping mankind off the face of Earth. We cannot oppose Satanail, but every man must solve this conflict on his own; the conflict whose burden fell on our shoulders directly after you appeared on Earth, where the Prince of Darkness had already been living.’

  The cold blue light that surrounded the top of the mountain seemed to start darkening. Indignation began brewing deep inside my soul.

  ‘Black Angels, Heavenly Angels – whoever you are, you are much alike,’ I said reproachfully. ‘There’s an unbreakable bond between all of you. You came from one source. You are all in charge of the universal equilibrium created by our Heavenly Father. It is by your consent that Satanail removes disobedient human beings from Earth. We, the simple people, are just pawns on a global chess board. Every one of you uses humankind for his benefit, and when we become uninteresting for you, or dare frustrate any of your plans you get rid of us quite easily. You take turns testing us: now it’s the dark forces, now it’s the forces of light…’ My voice was quiet, but firm. ‘When I ascend to the heavens or descend to Satanail’s realm, the time I spend there is taken from the overall time of my life. By traveling to parallel worlds, I’m gradually losing my lifetime. Surely I don’t have much of it left. After accomplishing my mission on Earth, I will pass over into the Hereafter, leaving behind me the generation doomed, most likely, to suffering only. I’m only a weapon in the hands of Light and Black Angels. By using me, the foremother of mankind, you want to rid people of their selves. Because everything was predetermined long ago, wasn’t it? … Or almost everything…?’

  Michael the Archangel listened attentively to what I was saying, and said after a short thoughtful pause,

  ‘It so happened that while rescuing you from Satanail’s clutches, I myself fell – quite involuntarily – victim to feelings previously unknown to me. Feelings only human beings have. We, angels, are not entitled to have emotions by our nature therefore I’m one of the few extra-terrestrial beings capable of feeling almost like a man does. I’m your friend and savior. And I’m going to stand by you till the end!’

  ‘The time will come when people will be able to see through themselves and their problems,’ I said. ‘If there are some angels capable of having human feelings, it means they also must be capable of taking our problems close to heart.’

  Clouds were drifting swiftly away over my head, and so were the years subtracted from my life bringing me increasingly closer to the Angel of Death.

  ‘Satanail is also capable of feeling like you do,’ the Archangel went on. ‘The spirit of Eve reincarnated in your body demonstrated that every time you appear on Earth you come to know new secrets and discover in your mind what had previously been unknown to you. Your nature is multi-faceted, and even I, the powerful Angel, cannot fathom you through and through. You’re a real enigma to which even the Creator does not have a key.’

  ‘Michael, it’s hard for us, the simple people, to un
derstand the invisible world, while you, the extra-terrestrial Beings, have difficulties in understanding us, the people. But one thing is clear: we cannot exist without you; but what about you? Will you be able to carry on without people around? Will the secret of man be revealed in full, either by you or by man himself? Will we ever be able to understand why we need your invisible presence around us?’

  Silence fell. And it had a disquieting ring to it.

  ‘I don’t know,’ the Archangel said at last. ‘After you became Satanail’s captive, he tried to seduce me with you, secretly hoping that I would be expelled – just like he was – from Heaven, or would refuse to live there of my own volition. By doing so, he wanted to settle accounts with me, because it was me who overwhelmed him and drove him out of the Heavenly Realm. But I didn’t buy into his ruse. The Black Angel has long been waiting for the rift to appear in the legion of angels, so I am always alert.’

  I looked up at the skies once again: it grew dark; the clouds blackened; they came to resemble some people’s angry faces…

  ‘I have been doing my best to protect you from his encroachments ever since,’ the Archangel went on. ‘It is your first-begotten flesh that he needs. And your descendants he has great expectations of.’

  The skies grew almost black; the atmosphere was becoming increasingly heavy.

  ‘The Fallen Angel likened himself very much to a man,’ the Archangel said. ‘He’s capable of thinking your thoughts. He can live your lives. He became part and parcel of your destinies…’

  The Archangel led me to the Cave of Spirits; we were going deeper and deeper into it, treading slowly and carefully. There was a waterfall in the distance, vaguely visible through the light haze. It poured, crashing down into a pristine lake with a vapor rising over it, and spreading all across the space. The sound of falling water was pleasant to my ears; it instilled calm and harmony in my soul.

  Depending upon what the Archangel was telling me, there were scenes from the ancient past emerging from the fog and passing before my eyes. This waterfall was an illusion which made me an on-looker who watched the events of the distant past taking their turns and then turning into a white vapor which later disappeared into thin air without a trace. It was a weird place. Appearing in front of my eyes were unfamiliar civilizations which sank into the bottomless well of the Universe forever, though they served once as a starting point of the world’s history.

  I saw Satanail posing as a mundane judge, deciding the fates of those he himself had seduced. Then I briefly saw - like in a fast-forward movie - people killing each other. I saw wars and disasters ruining the shell of our planet. Then suddenly the images of angels filled the endless space; they were flying around a transparent blue sphere which had a huge magnificent throne in its middle.

  ‘This is the place where everything is created,’ explained the Archangel. ‘This is where the first people came from.’

  Despite the desperation that engulfed me, I felt a deep emotional attachment to the Archangel who had much in common with humans, and who was capable of feeling just like we do. He was the beautiful Heavenly Warrior without whom undoubtedly human life on Earth would be simply impossible. There was indeed a strong bond between us.

  The Archangel gave me a long, searching look. I felt strange sensations - inner controversies tore me apart: something was calling me and attracting me to the place I was forbidden to go. I wanted to know what I wasn’t supposed to know. I wanted to be with those I should keep away from. But I couldn’t take the all-important step over the line into the forbidden, for to do so would make it very difficult for me to be able to step back again. The mist from the lake enveloped me once more and immersed me into the thick of events that happened very long ago. The scenes of the Creation of our world began unfolding before my eyes, one by one. And Michael the Archangel was my narrator and guide.

  ‘In the beginning there was the Father, and he moved in an endless void. Then He created the invisible world and the planets, and set everything in motion… Then He created a man in his image and likeness and imbued him with His essence. It was only afterwards that He created Eve – the foremother with a female essence which complemented His own. The female essence was necessary for The Universe to exist because without it, life would become dull and inactive. The creation of Eve brought to existence the mystery of conception and birth. The first-ever people, while living together, had been unaware of the fact that they were of opposite genders and thus were capable of creating life – just like God was. Only Michael the Archangel and Satanail, who had been living in heavenly chambers, knew about this mystery, of which the first-born people were deliberately kept in the dark. The Father didn’t want to make this mystery known to everybody.

  ‘The Creator looked at His creations and rejoiced. Both angels and human beings loved Him very much, and obeyed Him in everything. He came to love Adam and Eve with all His heart, and named them Little Gods. He moved them to the planet where birds of paradise lived, and gave them all the best things, and then He sent His angels to serve them. But one angel surmised that God loved His new creations more than the angels; he got angry with this, and said: “Our beloved Father! Why do you love these new people more than you love us, your children, whom you created long before you created them? I can see you cannot take your eyes off them! And you ordered us to serve them. Have we done anything wrong? Or, maybe, you don’t love us anymore? You gave them what we never had: your endless love! I see how dear they are to you. You prefer them to us, who serve you faithfully. I’m not going to serve Adam any longer!” These words were not merely said, they were screamed angrily by Satanail, who was the most powerful of the Heavenly Angels. “Once you refuse to serve Adam, it means you refuse to serve me, your Creator, does it not?” asked a loud voice. And the brave angel replied defiantly: “I refuse to serve you for as long as the angels continue to be in charge of these people!”

  “Go away and think twice before you do anything!” The Father said to Satanail, His creation, whom He loved very much, too, because this angel was one of the cleverest creatures in the whole Universe. Satanail left the Father’s throne and urged a lot of angels to mutiny…

  ‘The Universe was a troubled place then. The civilizations the Father created were constantly at war with each other; they would mutiny against the angels and refused to obey The Creator… That was the way they tried to assert themselves. Human beings were the only meek creatures, and The Creator loved them very much for this. “If we succeed in destroying Adam, we’ll be able to recover the Father’s love for us and live happily as we did before," said Satanail, indoctrinating the angels who were under his command. Half of them followed the rebellious Satanail and agreed to murder Adam and Eve.’

  The Archangel explained, interrupting his story,

  ‘The other half of the angels feared that the Father would get angry. It was an impossible situation, so I made up my mind to call upon Satanail to be reasonable. I asked him to give up his arrogant plan, but he stood his ground firmly. “I’ve already made my decision,” he replied, unyieldingly.

  ‘I left Satanail and the angels who joined the mutiny, and told the Father everything. He got awfully angry and called the defiant Angel in. His furious voice shook the entire Universe; his angry shouts made the stars fall from the skies: “How dare you, the impudent one, try to murder Adam whom I created? Who entitled you to do this?! Get out of my Kingdom, you infidels! From now on I’m taking the Book of Lives from you; I’ll give it to the Archangel who stood firmly by me”. But Satanail said defiantly: “He didn’t betray you, but he betrayed me and my interests.”

  ‘The Father made the decision, and I was to become the executor of his will. I was ordered to topple those who took part in the mutiny into the abyss. Satanail was a very powerful and clever angel, and at first our forces were inferior to his. The war in Heaven went on for a very long time, and my forces and the forces of those who helped me fight Satanail were almost exhausted. And then I asked the Heaven
ly Father for help.’

  ‘Couldn’t you possibly have dealt with him on your own?’ I asked the Archangel.

  ‘No, we couldn’t, because he was stronger than we were. But the Heavenly Father had to stay away from the battle, and Satanail knew this,’ said the Archangel in reply.

  ‘But why…?’ I demanded.

  ‘If He interfered, His superior force would destroy everything He had created,’ the Archangel explained. ‘And then the Father created the heavenly sword for me to be able to topple the mutineers… After all that had happened, the Father himself began protecting Adam and Eve. That was the first war among the angels, and it had been fought over man,’ the Archangel went on, commenting on the events we were in the center of.

  The scenes appearing in the haze kept on changing as if in a film: I was so captivated by what was going on that I began taking everything in as though I were personally taking part in them. The Archangel’s voice merged into my consciousness, and I was no longer able to tell his words from my own thoughts.

  I saw the mutineer angels falling down into the abyss. And I became aware that it was then that the rift developed between the Archangel and Satanail, which could never be bridged. Thus, Michael lost his disobedient brother who, now on Earth, was looking for the opportunity to take revenge upon the Father.

  Satanail yelled while falling down from the skies,

  ‘I’ll find the way to get even with this damned man!’

  After what happened the Father became very sad, because He loved Satanail. And He sought His consolation in people. He knew they might be destroyed by the disobedient Angel who wielded the secret of female essence. The Father understood that, having created Eve, He had put both human beings in great jeopardy.