The Unforgiven Sin

by R. Twine

  ‘I don’t know anything about the things you’re talking about and I don’t want to know anything about them!’ Michael snapped back. ‘As for you, Miriam, I’m sure the two of us will stay together for the rest of our lives… Besides, I cannot get rid of the sensation that I’ve known you much longer than our actual acquaintanceship has lasted.’

  ‘I’ve got the same sensation, Michael,’ I said. ‘And I don’t want to part with you for long… Besides, I’m afraid something bad might happen to you in my absence.’

  ‘So am I.’

  We hugged each other as if the two of us were near and dear loved ones.

  It was my last evening here. And my last night, which I decided to spend in the company of The Book of Shadows.

  Michael went up the stairs and called out from the landing. ‘I’ll be waiting for you, Miriam!’

  I was back again in the room of mysteries; I pulled out the drawer, and my eyes widened in bewilderment: the drawer was empty.

  ‘Are you looking for The Book, Miriam? Come over here, and I’ll gladly give it to you,’ I heard Satanail’s voice coming from behind. ‘This Book is as stubborn as you; it is reluctant to reveal what you’d like to see… But if you give me the vial that symbolizes life and belongs to me by right, the Book may want to make an exception…’

  The room went dark. A big fire burning in the center was the only source of light. Yellow and red flames danced vivaciously, twisting and turning. They looked like faceless ghosts. I turned round and saw Satanail who was standing a small distance away, his long black cloak fluttering behind him, his long hair pony-tailed at the back of his head. He was looking at me excitedly, carefully holding The Book which gave off a glimmer of light.

  ‘You are true to yourself: always appearing where you’re the least desired!’ I said.

  ‘Yes, I always appear unexpectedly, catching people by surprise. That is the role I am to play,’ Satanail confirmed. ‘Many people dream of becoming familiar with The Book of Shadows. Michael the Archangel is among them, too, for no one among the Heavenly has yet had the chance to even cast a glance at the Book, let alone study its contents! Sometimes the two books add something to each other, thus enlarging their contents, but not one of them will reveal all of its secrets: only the owners of the books are entitled to know them in full. The difference between The Book of Shadows and The Book of Lives is that the former holds full information on how The Dark Kingdom was created and how it is operated; there’s also information about all of my servants. The difference between me and the Archangel is that I know everything about the Universe and its functions, because I, as the most powerful of Heavenly Angels, was in charge of The Book of Lives, too. But no one of the Father’s entourage knows exactly how my Kingdom operates. It is me who is the all-powerful master on Earth! This planet has become mine, therefore Heaven is unaware of many of the things happening here. They oppose me, and I oppose them. It’s me who creates the right balance between Good and Evil…’ Satanail squinted slightly and went on. ‘But they are not privy to all the delicate nuances of my rule! Because I want it this way! I know all the main laws of equilibrium in the Universe, and I haven’t violated any of them since I was expelled from Heaven!’ Satanail was becoming increasingly agitated; tongues of flames, reflected in his eyes, were dancing their wild dance. ‘The job I do is simply necessary! Without me chaos would engulf not only our planet, but the entire Universe, too! I keep our planet safe: my spirits clean it up of pollution. My job is to maintain the balance here. Do you remember how many people were in my service? But I personally would erase them from the face of the Earth after they were through with their mission. It was I and Archangel who gave this world many geniuses. As you know, a lot of them were really very sinful individuals. It was I and Archangel who helped humans create modern civilization. Oftentimes man tends to see only dark aspects of his existence, sometimes he overlooks something useful and pleasant coming into his life!’ Satanail said firmly and persuasively. 'The Archangel seldom interferes in my business because he’s aware of the following: I and my subjects serve the Earth as its devoted Cleaners, working day and night to minimize the pollution on our planet. At first sight, not everything that’s going on may seem fair, but here’s what I want to say in this regard: everything that’s being done by us - and not by you - is only done for the benefit of our planet! And Heaven knows about it! Here’s the antinomy: Father expelled me from His Kingdom because of you, and after you betrayed Him, He keeps on sending humans to no other place but mine. Why do you think He is doing this?’

  ‘He’s doing this just because ours is the only planet where man can survive,’ I said after a short pause. ‘Do you mean to say the first-ever people were sent here so that you could punish them for their disobedience?’

  ‘There are other planets in the Universe fit for man to live on,’ Satanail contradicted me. ‘Yes, I do think Father sent those humans to me intentionally so that I could teach them a proper lesson. Because the first-ever people wanted to be like God and His Angels, they wanted to open up the secret knowledge they had never had before, they wanted to know Good and Evil! And know, they did come to know, all this! I’d like to let you in on a secret, Miriam. I had been unaware of Father’s intention to send people to my place. There are so many planets in our Universe! His decision came to me as a big surprise… When man first descended here, The Book of Shadows already existed. I entered in it information of all sorts: data concerning the Universe, information about my life on Earth. Now I had to write down the history of mankind, too, by making a detailed description of the potential any concrete person has at the moment he enters this world. This information is also present in The Book of Lives – all the flaws and merits of a man he would be able to implement on Earth, the choices he’s likely to make. Everything is interconnected, Miriam: I, Satanail and the earthly material world and death; Heaven and the spiritual world and immortality. I know the exact path a man is likely to take; I know all human secrets because I’m constantly by your side, engaged in pleasing your ego all the time! Always remember that those who turn to me only once are already considered to be my debtors. Remember also, that Father will never please you the way I do. Father considers ego to be a man’s enemy while I regard it as the first step towards self-realization: a strong ego breeds strong ambitions!’ Satanail paused meaningfully. ‘Your everyday quarrels and squabbles attract my demons to you; by quarrelling and squabbling you – involuntarily – make the Dark Forces a punishing weapon in your hands! Therefore endless wars and misfortunes can only be blamed entirely on you alone! This is a vicious circle, Miriam, right?’

  ‘But people often turn to Higher Forces for help,’ I countered hesitantly.

  ‘But they don’t hear you most of the time,’ said Satanail sarcastically.

  ‘They do hear us. And they don’t leave our pleas unattended. But it seems that man has to be worthy of their help…’

  ‘And how many ‘worthy ones’ are there?’

  ‘I don’t know, really… I guess their exact number is to be found in The Book of Lives which contains all the information on any concrete person. And it is according to this book that a man will be judged on Judgement Day…’

  ‘Man will be judged according to two books, Miriam: the Heavenly one and mine,’ said Satanail, correcting me. ‘On the Day of Judgement I will present my book to Father, and it’s only at that moment that He will know what’s been hidden up until then. The Book of Shadows will play the role of a whistleblower!’

  There were spirits hovering around us; they were changing their appearance all the time: some were smiling, some were putting on the mask of eternal sorrow while some seemed to be totally indifferent to what was going on around them… Wind was howling, quietly sending tongues of flames into the sky. Satanail was solemn: he was peering into my face trying to catch the smallest change in its expression. He was trying to penetrate deep into my brain to understand what I was thinking about.

  ‘Sometim
es I pass information about some souls, taking it from my Book. It’s a kind of informational exchange between the Archangel and me. Or it can be the solving of a dispute: if the balance shifts in my favor, I take the soul away and carry it to my Kingdom… Miriam, I will give you the chance to know what you need to know… I cannot reveal all the secrets. According to my agreement with the Archangel, you’ll have to come to understand some of them completely on your own.’

  ‘Does it mean I will not find what I’m looking for?’ I asked, gradually becoming aware of a new game Satanail was dragging me into.

  ‘Do you, personally, know what you are looking for? Do you know what you want?’ he asked. ‘Why are you here, Miriam? It’s not me who’s calling you; it’s you who follows me everywhere…’

  Satanail came closer to me. The wind grew stronger and its howling became louder. There were snakes swarming under our feet; they tangled up their bodies thrusting out their long cleft tongues.

  ‘Here you are,’ Satanail said, giving me The Book of Shadows. ‘Open it and see for yourself. Perhaps, you will find in it what you’re looking for. But you’ll have to pay for any of my services…’

  I took the heavy tome from him and put it on the table that suddenly materialized out of a fiery funnel. It wasn’t me who was looking at the Book; it was the Book who was looking at me. Its cover darkened, and the jewels acquired a cold tint. I couldn’t bring myself to open it.

  ‘Put it on your palm,’ Satanail said.

  I obeyed – The Book opened up and started turning its pages. Then the pages began turning increasingly faster, sending spirits into the air: the spirits would cast a glance at me and then shoot upwards, merging into darkness.

  ‘Wait a minute! Who are you? Why are you flying away from me?’ I asked them.

  ‘We’ve been surrounding you in your former incarnations, Miriam. Now you’re setting us free, thus bringing back the skills you had earlier… now you’ll be able to recollect a lot of what you wielded before. We are the souls of those who died because of you…’

  I took a closer look and saw the people who had passed away during my lifetime… I also saw ones I’d never seen before.

  I saw a beautiful naked woman with thigh-long hair. I actually gasped for air – so beautiful she was. Her shadow walked gracefully out of the book, leaving the parallel world where her soul had been resting. The woman was the incarnation of perfection. Her clever green eyes marveled at Edenic landscapes; she walked, humming a tune, about the clearing, picking flowers. She took several more steps – and found herself near a big branchy tree where the Beautiful Serpent was hiding, its body curled around a tree trunk. Holding his breath, he watched the goddess of beauty, mesmerized. Giving up to the Serpent’s seductive words, the beauty took the forbidden fruit.

  Eve, expelled from Eden to Earth for disobedience, lost all the pleasures of her carefree life in the Garden of Eden and so she began looking for the beautiful serpent who seduced her and who promised her freedom and knowledge of Good and Evil. She came to regard him as her savior, hoping that he would be able to turn back time and take them back to the Lost Eden. Finally, Eve found the Serpent and turned to him, shedding tears:

  ‘I did what you told me to do and paid dearly for your advice. Father expelled us to Earth and cursed it for our betrayal! Now, after our expulsion, I had to live in abject poverty! Because of you, we lost our life of ease! Why did you do me such a terrible wrong?’

  ‘So that now you would to understand Good and Evil, beautiful goddess!’ the Serpent replied. ‘You cannot blame me for having cheated you! You came to know Good and Evil – as I promised you would. You came to know the wrath of Father himself – and that was quite something! You came to know the Lord’s wrath you hadn’t known before. Besides, you’ll know forbidden bodily pleasures. Earlier, only God could create his creatures and allow them to propagate. But now, after becoming aware of their flesh, humans will be able to propagate without outside interference and thus create their likenesses. Through me, you obtained your freedom you’d never have had before. Come to me at night, oh, beautiful woman, and you’ll be able to see it with your own eyes,’ the Serpent offered.

  ‘All right, I will come,’ said the naïve Eve, cherishing hope for salvation and again believing every word he said.

  ‘Here’s the vial. It contains a magic tincture; pour it down into whatever Adam will be drinking. When he’s fast asleep, come to my place, I’ll be waiting for you,’ said the Serpent.

  After making certain Adam was fast asleep, Eve left the house. Moonlight illuminated the narrow path that led the first-ever woman to the entrance into Satanail’s Kingdom. Big dark gates swung open, and she took her second forbidden step. Satanail himself was waiting for her on the threshold. The Fallen Angel nodded his head inviting her in. At the sight of him she froze in her tracks… Her heart immediately started to race so wildly that Eve thought it was going to jump out of her ribcage. Spellbound and unable to move, she stood on the threshold staring at the Angel whose extraordinary beauty was becoming ever more mesmerizing; it brought out confusing feelings Eve had never experienced before… The Angel led her into his apartments and gave her a glass filled with a sparkling red liquid. The charming Angel was generous with his compliments, smiling seductively and devouring Eve with his eyes. She felt self-conscious, the drink made her dizzy, and for the first time in her life a sudden and a pleasant sensation she’d never known before came over Eve. Satanail descended onto his bed and beckoned Eve to join him. She sat by his side, and he began stroking her beautiful face and long hair saying in a suave voice:

  ‘Never in my life have I seen a creature more beautiful and clever than you, Eve. Some unknown force attracts me to you. I’ve been thinking about you since I first saw you. I’m grateful to Father for having created you – the human woman. The one possessing such qualities as inner harmony and beauty no one can compare with. Your perfection and timidity are capable of winning the heart of any angel…and any man!’ said Satanail lasciviously.

  Eve raved over his speeches and his sweet charming voice that went right through all of her being. It happened that she was beautiful! And clever! No one but this Angel had ever told her such things! These words were so pleasing to her heart that Eve, driven by an emotional impulse, moved her body closer to the King of Darkness and, cupping his beautiful angelic face in her hands, told him, tears in her eyes:

  ‘I cannot see anything bad about my heart being capable of feeling emotions and my flesh burning with a desire I’ve never known before,’ she said clinging to Satanail so closely that he shuddered.

  For a second, the Black Angel imagined Eve in Adam’s arms, and for the first time in his life he felt in his heart a pang of jealousy.

  ‘Kiss me,’ said Eve in a quiet tone of voice, still unaware of the sensations she was to experience a few moments later.

  Their lips merged in a passionate kiss, and at that very moment Eve was transformed from a mundane woman into a most beautiful Dark Fairy and sorceress, into the secret entity which would manifest itself every time she felt the call of the flesh. They embraced each other, fell onto the bed, and the Fallen Angel possessed the first-ever human woman.

  They were enjoying the pleasures of their passionate copulation right before my eyes – and I watched the couple, unable to take my eyes off them.

  Satanail put his seed into Eve thus conceiving the first-ever human baby-boy. And when Eve fell asleep, the Prince of Darkness carefully carried her back to Adam’s abode. When Adam woke up he saw Eve sleeping and smiling in her sleep and thought she was dreaming sweet dreams. And so did Eve: she came to regard her sexual encounter with the Angel just as a dream…

  “The woman who came to Earth will become the foremother of mankind. It is she who is destined to give birth to sons and daughters who will have to love the Earth they will be born on and take good care of it! Just like the first-ever woman, they’ll be looking for truth!’’ Satanail thought, staring into distance.
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  Nine months later she gave birth to a baby-boy – it was the first man born on Earth; he was to become the founder of Satanail’s line of ancestry. The Creator himself took a liking to the first-born Cain because the boy looked very much like him and was the first of God’s human beings born on Earth. The Creator made Cain’s soul immortal.

  The Book closed itself with a loud bang.

  Father continued to love His creatures in spite of the sin the first-ever people fell into…

  ‘Good and Evil are different in their essence but they have one common source: they originate from Father, who joined them together in a harmonious way and put them into all of His creatures. Good and Evil oppose each other but they cannot exist without each other. Perfectly matched, they provide the balance. Perfect good may turn into evil while ultimate evil may turn into good…There’s no such thing as absolute good or absolute evil. This is the way it was and will always be,’ Satanail told me. ‘Father is the Creator of everything: of all living and non-living things, all things visible and invisible… everything He’s created leaves Him in order to live and then returns to Him to leave again and live…’

  ‘I’m familiar with the theory,’ I said.

  Satanail paused for a while and went on.

  ‘As for me, I seduced you to reveal the mystery to you, the mystery you would have never known living in Eden. It is the mystery of birth, death, passion and earthly life which is very short but still worth living! Many people are happy in their suffering only because suffering makes them feel really alive. When you were Eve, Miriam, you used to live a tranquil and regular life, devoid of major events. And you, as a curious and inquisitive woman, couldn’t help but get bored with it. That was why you followed my advice. I helped you to slightly lift the curtain over the truth Father had hidden from you. And so you found out what was behind Eden’s borders. Miriam, you are my first love, only you proved capable of conquering my being, from the very beginning I’ve loved only you and you alone. I will love you till the end. This coming to Earth is your last one. When you leave this world, you’ll return to your heavenly domain. But you still have another choice: you can stay with me, here, on Earth, in my Kingdom!’