The Unforgiven Sin

by R. Twine

  “When Michael grew up, he began leading a double life. I saw him hiding within himself the fantasies known only to him… Everything that was forbidden appealed to him… He’s an excellent actor. It’s impossible to see through him. The matter is further complicated by the fact that people never tell me about anything having to do with my Michael.”

  “Everybody who Michael sincerely loved had been removed, out of his way. I know that this is the fate that awaits me, too…”

  “I’ve found out through demons that the young girl Michael was in love with has been called up to the Kingdom of Light. Why didn’t they want their idyllic relationship to continue? Was her death meant as a punishment for Michael? Or is he destined to meet another one? The one who will come to Earth to set up something new; and it is through him that this must happen? Or is it something different? Something only the initiated will know about when the right time comes…There’s one thing I know for sure: the incarnation of the soul of the first-ever woman is to take place shortly. And this incarnation will be the last one.”

  My heart raced violently; it seemed to have moved from my chest to my head, now tearing it apart with its throbs.

  “I remember Michael spending lonely hours in an old chapel – maybe he prayed, asking for help? He had to wage a permanent war against himself. And by doing so he was struggling against the King of Darkness whose spirit, as far as I can judge, he had always harbored. Why did he attract some individuals while rejecting others? Living within him were both the angel and the devil simultaneously. But Michael always tried to follow the path of goodness… Only one misstep could lead him to God knows where…”

  “I saw the life of the Kingdom of Darkness in all of its magnificence. I saw the hosts of demons with my own eyes! They were in innumerable quantities. All those who live in the Kingdom of Darkness feed on man’s life energy but they always give something in return…”

  “I maintained a constant contact with our Creator, who made a lot of living and thinking beings who now fill the Universe. There have always been and will always be various civilizations, and man will soon be able to see it for himself. We’re all the Father’s creations…”

  I took a deep breath and continued reading.

  “Our planet is in for major changes which will throw humankind into a state of shock… Everything that has been built will collapse; chaos will set in and go on endlessly…The planet’s population will be drastically reduced in its number as a result of many wars, disasters and illnesses.”

  “Forests will be destroyed by continuous fires… There will be floods which will ruin many cities. Water will carry away everything man has built over the recent decades, and then it will start to quickly go underground. Mankind will be affected by acute water shortage. Drought will set in, bringing thirst and hunger in its wake…”

  “Disasters of Biblical proportions are now looming over mankind; the entire invisible world knows about it while preparing us for the changes to come…”

  “Time will be bringing humankind to its unavoidable collapse at an alarming speed. Unfortunately, this process cannot be reversed. I’m confident that everything that’s happening now had been programmed from the very beginning…”

  “I keep on looking back in time at my father and Marianne. I think about their deaths in which I suspect the dark forces were complicit. Even if these murders were carried out through the agency of human beings, crimes of this kind can never be solved. But if a concrete suspect did turn up, he would quickly become unreachable for justice. Everything was predetermined…”

  Everything or almost everything?

  “I found out through The Book of Shadows that I was destined to make a major discovery and would be taken to the world of hereafter shortly afterwards. I know the date of my death but I will never be able to find out about its details…Only he who possesses a strong spirit can be the owner of The Book of Shadows. He’ll be able to rule the invisible world and maintain direct contact with the Prince of Darkness himself. Only the strongest are capable of seeing the strongest…”

  These words contained a lot of things that were important for me. But what about Michael? Was he really so controversial? I couldn’t believe it. On the one hand, he was kind of an angel loved and admired by everybody; on the other he was and a demon to be kept away from.

  Further in the text there were concise descriptions of various rituals; one of them drew my attention.

  “The ceremony of my initiation took place in a castle in the presence of all the participants clad in black cloaks; their heads were hooded, and their faces were hidden behind masks. At a set time we began carrying out the ritual in a huge hall with giant columns situated in front of a big altar; standing on one side of the altar was a throne, there was a goblet filled with a liquid on its other side. Reversed pentagrams, prepared in advance, were unrolled on the floor; black candles and pungent incense were lit up, their smoke was rising upwards and leaving the room through the issue in an open, arched dome. All those present stepped onto the pentagrams’ tips and waited… The Book of Shadows lay before me on the altar and shuddered, breathing. Slowly and solemnly, I opened it and started to evoke spirits… In a little while flying demons began to appear out of the magic tome. Some time later there was a deafening rumbling sound followed by a powerful shock to the ground that sent the floor and the walls shaking. Many of those present fell on the floor, unable to stand on their feet…Then everything went quiet. I finished my speech saying: “From now on I am the new Master!”

  “No…,’ said one of the participants, but at the same moment Satanail’s powerful hand dashed out of the Book and tore the soul out of his body, and the man fell on the floor dead as a doornail.

  I still cannot understand why this happened…. I didn’t know back then about the red line that mustn’t be crossed. The ceremony went on...”

  “Many masses took place in the castle, in the back part, though they used to be carried out in the front part when my father was alive. But the front part has remained closed since Sean’s death.”

  “Important ceremonies would never begin without all major members being present: we were closely linked to each other. The aim of evocation was always determined in advance. And so was the question of offerings and sacrifices to be made in return for what was to be requested.”

  I wonder which sacrifices and which castle Phil was writing about? I thought – and the sound of the telephone buzzing made me start at that very moment. I hastily slammed the book closed as if someone were watching me and picked up the receiver.

  ‘Hi, Natalie.’

  ‘I’ve unearthed some new information about your Michael,’ she said, clearly agitated.

  ‘Come round, I have something interesting, too,’ I said, having decided to show her Phil’s diary.

  ‘Okay, I’ll be at your place in an hour,’ said Natalie and hung up.

  Three hours passed but Natalie didn’t arrive. I was trying to get her on her mobile phone every five minutes but all I heard was “Leave your message after the beep.” Natalie had always been punctual. I was driving away dark thoughts, but they kept on creeping into my conscience again and again.

  Unable to stand it any more, I phoned Nat’s mother.

  ‘It’s already late, I’m worried because Nat had to be at my place over four hours ago, but I haven’t heard from her yet,’ I blurted out.

  ‘Natalie’s got into a serious road accident, Miriam,’ her mother said quietly. ‘She’s in the hospital. She’s in a coma. You can come here.’

  ‘All right, I’ll be there right away,’ I said in a trembling voice and then smashed my telephone against the wall as hard as I could.

  It flew to pieces, but I was already unable to stop and started jumping up and down on its remains. When there was nothing more left to crush, I snatched up a chair and threw it into a mirror, screaming wildly – the shards of glass scattered flying across the room. Waves of anger kept coming over me, and I went on crushing everyth
ing I could lay my hands on. Finally exhausted, I sat on the floor and broke into loud sobs, cupping my face in my hands.

  ‘My God, why do you punish me so cruelly?’ I screamed. ‘Don’t you have a little bit of mercy left in your heart? Don’t you love me at all? Why do you let it happen over and over again?’

  Heaven was silent.

  When I calmed down somewhat, I looked around and saw the vial that appeared as if from nowhere. “How did it get here?” I thought. It glittered with all the tints of red color, there were small lights shimmering inside it, and I could see the silhouettes of small human bodies which seemed to be dancing. “This small test tube can produce human beings, though it doesn’t come as a surprise nowadays,” I thought. Small figures would disappear and then crop up again; I took this living vial in my hands and got completely carried away for a moment, watching the figures dancing inside. This is what Satanail wants. This final vial contains his dream. The dream about a new civilization! I wondered how he was going to implement this dream. In which way was he going to carry out his plan?’

  ...A noise in the kitchen interrupted my thoughts. I went there. There was an overturned cup of milk lying on the kitchen table. Visible on the floor were a cat’s footprints: they ran across the kitchen and ended by the wall. An invisible cat walked through the wall?!

  Chapter 34

  I went upstairs to the intensive care unit and saw Nat’s mother there, her face wet with tears, and Nat’s father who looked pale as death.

  ‘Nat is in a critical condition; the doctors say her chances of surviving are slim,’ Mark said in a barely audible voice. ‘As she was driving, a wheel came off…and her car ran full tilt into a concrete wall.’

  “A wheel came off? In a new car?” I thought to myself, astonished, tears running all down my cheeks. I was shuddering and gasping for air. ‘She will survive,’ I said. ‘She will survive; there can be no doubt about it. She mustn’t die.’

  I looked at Natalie through the thick glass: there were a lot of cables and tubes connected to her body, there was an oxygen mask on her face. Tears began streaming down my face again. I stood thinking about how on earth I could save my best friend caught between life and death because of me. If the Forces of Light wouldn’t come to me, I had to find them myself.

  In the evening I then knew what to do. I took a train and went to the north-west of France. There, towering by the beach of the English Channel, was the mountain of St. Michael the Archangel – Mont Saint-Michel. I rented a small house not far away from it, having decided to stay there for a while. I had visited the place with my parents a year before they died. The place had come to symbolize an invisible force to me: Michael the Archangel hovered over it. The memories came back to me; they began calling me to this mountain. Apparently, the Archangel himself wanted me to be there.

  Once in early childhood the Golden Angel rising over the tower caught my eye, and I, completely awed, lost sight of my parents. I was very frightened back then and went looking for them, gazing around. There were throngs of tourists everywhere walking about on the walkways of the abbey built on a rocky island right in the middle of the sea. I was very scared and I made up my mind to return to the place where I’d gotten lost. I looked at the Angel again and asked him to allay the fears that gripped my heart. Suddenly a big white cloud surrounded the Angel and then gradually descended from him upon me. The Angel was looking at me with a smile on his face and waving his hand. The light he sent onto me enwrapped me from head to toe. I felt calm and at ease.

  ‘Miriam, darling, I thought I would die of fear when I noticed you weren’t around!’ my Mom wept, hugging me.

  ‘We’ve been looking for you everywhere!’ said my Dad, his face pale.

  ‘I went looking for you, too, but couldn’t find you anywhere so I decided to return to this place and wait for you here. That lovely Angel helped me get rid of my fear,’ I said contentedly.

  ‘This is Michael the Archangel, one of the most powerful of the angel warriors. This is a very good angel; he has always defended mankind against evil. He will surely help and protect the one who turns to him with a true faith in his or her heart. As you can see, he helped us to find you and made sure you weren’t afraid. He shielded you under his wings while you were alone, protecting you against bad people,’ my father explained.

  ‘Do bad people really exist?’ I asked.

  ‘Sure, my little one, and they do our world a lot of harm,’ Mom replied.

  ‘If this angel only loves good people, who loves bad people then?’ I asked.

  ‘They have their own angel, darling. He’s called the Black Angel; he’s the patron of bad people.’

  ‘The Archangel wields a sword – is it meant for killing bad people?’ I kept on asking.

  ‘He uses this sword to destroy his enemies,’ my father replied.

  ‘If he was given a sword to destroy bad people, it means he doesn’t love all of mankind,’ I pressed on. ‘If the Angel kills bad people it means he doesn’t love all the people? It appears he cannot be good, because the Dark Angel kills people, too! And if they are both engaged in killing someone it means they are both villains otherwise they wouldn’t be killing anyone!’ I went on with my philosophical deliberations. ‘They say angels love all people – both good and bad…’

  ‘Miriam, my darling daughter, who on earth has put these thoughts into your head? It couldn’t be the Angel himself, could it? Or have you had a shock, after all?’ my Mom asked, clearly worried.

  ‘Try not to think about such things and forgive me and mommy for our having been careless,’ said my Dad.

  My parents exchanged bewildered glances, then my father turned towards the Angel and said, gratefully.

  ‘Thank you for having helped us to find our daughter. Please, protect her - as you’ve just done – throughout her life.’

  So now, many years after that moment, I was standing again in the same place near the Mont Saint-Michel abbey. This time I was alone. I looked up at the Angel standing on top of the cathedral’s dome and thanked him for everything he had done for me. I watched his glittering gold, thinking of Natalie, her parents and what they must have been going through at that critical moment of their lives. I was thinking about Samuel, about Elian, about my grandparents and all those whose souls were already residing in the hereafter. I was thinking of those whom I had met on my life’s path, if just for a little while. I wanted all who surrounded me to stay alive; I didn’t want them to die. I didn’t want anybody to be deprived of their life because of me. I had to break this vicious circle, this unending chain of cruel murders and deaths.

  ‘Please, Archangel, help me find the truth! Help me save the girl who’s suffering badly because of me, help me protect those who may face the same fate in the future!’ I begged, raising my hands to the skies.

  Silence was the answer to my plea. I walked slowly on the wet soil towards the castle, passed through its gates and started walking along galleries, halting before every mural and statue, making up for the opportunity I had missed many years ago. I went out into the abbey garden and looked up at the sky – it was so close it seemed to me that my prayers could reach the Almighty’s ears faster from this very spot. I prayed for Natalie, for my loved ones, for myself. Tired, I sat on a bulge in a stone wall. Fiddling with the emerald ring on my finger, I mused where the Archangel might be at that particular moment. I needed him badly, I needed his help.

  Tiredness swept over me. Leaning my back against the wall, I dozed off. Half-sleeping, I heard the tourists talking, their unhurried footsteps echoing, resounding off the cobblestones... Suddenly someone spoke to me in a quiet voice; I started and opened my eyes: I was standing absolutely alone.

  “Where have they all gone?” I thought, puzzled. There wasn’t a single soul around me. Someone repeated my name again and again; the ring on my finger seemed to come alive: its deep green color started shimmering and changing, acquiring ever lighter tints. When the emerald became almost yellow, it star
ted giving off a weak light that began growing increasingly intense and bright. Then it left the emerald and filled the entire space with its presence; afterwards it shaped itself into a silvery sphere hanging in the air in the middle of the garden. The voice kept on calling me but I couldn’t make out where it was coming from. Could it possibly be coming out of the stone wall?

  Two transparent creatures appeared beside the sphere; they were staring directly at me. Their beautiful faces looked friendly; they had strands of silvery hair that reached their shoulder blades; the long white gowns they wore were fastened at their waists with white belts. The strangers reached out for me, and I saw silvery threads of light coming out of their fingers. The threads enwrapped my body and lifted it into the air, gradually pulling me inside the sphere. My eyelids grew lead-heavy; my eyes closed, my body became weightless. I stopped hearing my heartbeat; a blissful feeling came over me. I was ready to leave this world, not a single thought disturbed my conscience; I was filled with indifference to my own self. Someone was singing quietly nearby, and the sound was pleasant to my ear. When my body fully entered the silvery sphere, it began ascending, slowly…

  The transparent creatures were supporting the sphere on both sides. It was only at this moment that I noticed powerful white wings behind their backs; the wings were swishing. My conscience, now spread across the sphere, was able to see what went on around us. Warmth was gradually enveloping my body, immersing it in a state of calm and carelessness; I felt very comfortable and totally safe.

  When Earth was left far below, and we entered the endless and bottomless Universe, the transparent creatures handed the sphere over to giant angels who began lifting it upwards at an enormous speed. The angels looked cold and grim. These were the same angels who often accompanied me along with the Archangel. I saw once again the creatures with fiery wings which were passing by us, straddling a rotating wheel of fire; it was with the help of these fiery wheels that they traveled across the Universe at an incredible speed leaving a flaming trail behind them. Entering the gravitation areas of big planets, the sphere I traveled in shrank considerably making me feel like I was in a cage, but, nevertheless, the sphere protected me against all exterior impacts.