The Unforgiven Sin

by R. Twine

  ‘Please, bring me the tab!’ I called to the waiter.

  Elian fell asleep in the guest room. I couldn’t let her stay too long at my apartment. I didn’t want her to become an involuntary witness of something I had planned to stage; I didn’t want to put her in jeopardy.

  Michael was the only person on whom I could rely in this situation. I dialed his number.

  ‘Hello, Michael. How are you doing?’

  ‘As before,’ he replied. ‘I suffer from insomnia, I can’t sleep at night: various unpleasant thoughts keep crawling into my head. How are you? Haven’t you made up your mind to cancel the upcoming wedding ceremony, by any chance?’

  ‘No, I haven’t, Michael. I’m making preparations. It’s a serious problem that I’m calling you about. I need your help.’

  ‘I’m all ears. What’s up?’ he asked worriedly.

  I briefly described the situation Elian found herself in.

  ‘I’ll deal with the problem of lodging on my own, but the issue of finding a job is a more difficult one, besides, who would be willing to employ an expectant mother? Can you help me with this?’ I asked.

  ‘What’s her line of work?’ Michael asked in a business-like manner.

  ‘Elian has been dealing in securities. She has an excellent command of the English and Italian languages.’

  ‘I’ll make a telephone call to Paris tomorrow and pull some strings. I think there’ll be no problems with finding her a job. Anything else?’ he enquired.

  ‘No, thank you. I couldn’t possibly ask you to help me with organizing the ceremony, anyway…’

  ‘That you can do without me,’ Michael said irritably, clearly annoyed by my awkward joke. ‘Call this wedding off before it’s too late. It will only generate new problems; you will see it for yourself. You’ll remember more than once that I’ve been warning you.’

  ‘Michael, I have to see everything through,’ I snapped.

  ‘Miriam, I want this wedding to be ours! What you’re doing now is called a dress-up game. You’re going to marry a man knowing full well that you two will not be together. You don’t even have mutual feelings for each other!’

  ‘I can’t do otherwise, Michael. I’m really sorry things turned out the way they have. I’m unable to change anything; some unknown force within me drives me on, and I can’t cope with it,’ I said, while fully aware that Michael was right.

  I knew I had to give it all up before it was too late but my instincts told me I had to see everything through.

  ‘These are not words of consolation, Miriam,’ Michael said sadly. ‘I’ll call you tomorrow, good night. And don’t forget that I love you.’

  ‘Till tomorrow, Michael, I love you, too.’

  I wanted so much to give up on everything and go to Michael as quickly as I possibly could. To the man I loved. But controversial feelings kept on troubling me. They kept me ensnared and wouldn’t let me go.

  Several days later Elian moved to a new flat. In another week she received a good job offer at Michael’s company.

  ‘My dear Miriam, I can’t thank you enough! I’ve got new hope again! Is there anything I can help you with, by the way?’ Elian asked.

  ‘Take care of yourself, sister. Take care of your future baby,’ I said. ‘Here’s a check for you to buy all the necessary things. Keep it.’

  ‘Thank you, Miriam,’ she said gratefully.

  ‘Elian, I need your professional advice. You’re familiar with bank codes, aren’t you? Here, have a look at this. Can you tell me what exactly these numbers mean?’ I asked, handing her two keys and a slip of paper with a multiple number on it.

  She examined the set of numbers and the keys and said.

  ‘It looks like this belongs to a bank strong box. I can find out about it in more detail, if you want me to.’

  ‘I’d be very grateful to you, Elian.’

  The wedding was coming. During the last fitting of my wedding dress my seamstress was profuse in compliments and then added, laughing, ‘Indeed, Miriam, your wedding outfit is very exotic. I’m sure everybody will be dumbfounded. Especially your husband! I can imagine the expression on his face!’

  ‘I want to knock them dead!’ I said with a chuckle. ‘It’s going to be a spectacular show!’

  With one week left to go until the wedding ceremony, Samuel joined the preparations.

  ‘Darling, you have to collect our rings and check if anything still remains to be done,’ I told him. ‘Everything has to be just perfect.’

  ‘You know,’ Samuel said unexpectedly, ‘I’ve been sleeping so badly lately. I’m so jittery…’

  Just like Michael, I thought but said nothing, only managed to make a concerned face.

  ‘Miriam, I realized that I really love you! And the upcoming wedding isn’t what I’m worried about.’

  ‘Then what is?’ I asked him compassionately.

  ‘It’s that I haven’t always been honest with you and I’m constantly beating myself up over it,’ Samuel said in a sad tone of voice. ‘We all make mistakes we’ll have to answer for sooner or later. I’ve been thinking a lot about our relationship and have come to the conclusion that you’re the woman I’ve been looking for, for all my life. I want to leave my past behind and I promise that I’ll be honest with you from this moment on, Miriam. Only you can give me the happiness I’ve been waiting for.’

  ‘What’s on your mind, Samuel? Are you feeling sad?’ I asked him.

  ‘No, not really. I can’t go into all the details right now, but please believe me that you can count on me for anything,’ he said and gave me a tight bear hug.

  Samuel faced a difficult choice, too. He found himself at the crossroads. I felt he was sincere in his words. He had changed a lot, the future scared him, and he couldn’t hide this fact from me however hard he tried. The more impending our wedding became, the more Samuel withdrew into himself. He was thoughtful, living in constant fear. But I had no intention to change what I was planning to do. Even if I wanted to, it was already too late. The blank pages in The Book of Lives and the Book of Shadows were waiting patiently…

  I met with Elian in the cafe again. She looked bad: gestational toxicosis was telling on her.

  ‘I’ve found out to whom this strongbox belongs,’ she informed me.

  ‘And…?’ I asked burning with impatience.

  ‘It belongs to you,’ Elian replied, leaving me open-mouthed. ‘The account is held in your name. As far as I can understand, you didn’t even know about its existence?’

  ‘No, I didn’t, Elian! This is the first time I’ve heard about it at all!’ I exclaimed. ‘I never opened any accounts.’

  ‘I’d been working at this bank group and still maintain some old connections… In fact, I managed to have a look at the file: there’s your signature on every document. The account is held at the Paris division of the bank, the strong box is there, too. You can open it with these keys.’

  ‘Can you give me the address of the bank?’

  ‘Here you are,’ Elian said, handing me the duplicate of an agreement.

  I walked slowly down the dark side streets, deep in thought, trying in vain to understand who might have opened an account in my name. This was another puzzle to be solved.

  I stepped over the threshold of my house in great confusion: bunches of red roses lay scattered all over the rooms. There was a big gaping hole in the picture where the little angel had once been. My otherworldly friend had disappeared without a trace.

  Chapter 48

  The wedding day finally came. The ceremony was scheduled for 10 a.m. in a chateau situated on a river bank just outside Paris. The old castle built in the 16th century had long belonged to a royal family and was a perfect example of Renaissance style architecture. Quite appropriately, it had a small chapel which could be used for our wedding.

  On that momentous day, over three hundred guests were attending; half of them belonged to The Star of Baphomet. I saw to it that everybody received due attention. Well-tra
ined servants stood at the ready and watched every gesture of every guest. The castle was closely guarded; no stranger could sneak into it without an invitation. Apart from the guests, there were several reporters, photographers and cameramen exclusively entitled to film the ceremony.

  Upon entering the hall where the ceremony was to take place, the guests would freeze in bewilderment. They were stunned by the extraordinary design of the interior I chose for my wedding but no one dared to discuss it aloud. Everybody proved delicate enough to avoid this subject by expertly masking their confusion with small talk.

  Hanging in the center of the hall was a giant heart assembled from buds of black roses; it was penetrated through with a red arrow. It was surrounded with paintings by my mom, dad and me. On the big stand that stood some distance away I had pinned up the photos of my parents, Natalie, Tony, Madame Derek, Henry and all the rest of the unfortunate filming crew that had died when the yacht exploded. The decoration style of the hall was totally in black and grey-and-silver colors. A hushed sad music created an appropriate background sound. The interior was more in tune with a grand funeral rather than wedding ceremony.

  A mobile phone rang, and Samuel’s hurried voice shook me out of my consternation.

  ‘Miriam, you’re the only one who’s not here yet. The mayor has already arrived, everything’s ready. The guests cannot wait for the ceremony to begin. By the way, I have to admit that the decoration of the interior just kills me. I didn’t expect it to be like a funeral on the day of my wedding!’ he said, nervously.

  It seemed to me I could feel a cold sweat running down his spine.

  ‘I’ll go downstairs in a quarter of an hour,’ I replied dryly and hung up.

  I went out into a broad corridor, walked round the corner and stopped at the top of the grand staircase. I looked upon the hall where everybody was waiting for my entry, unaware of the drastic change in their lives that was about to take place. When they noticed me, the animated conversations turned into a murmur of bewilderment and then faded away completely. Deafening silence fell. Indulging in an ecstasy of vice, I started walking slowly down the stairs.

  For the day of my wedding I had built an absolutely transparent close-fitting dress made of a material akin to a silvery grey glistening tissue. My body, covered with a special paint, sparkled like silver shimmering in the rays of light. My hair was combed backwards and formed into a fanciful hair-do. My intimate parts were covered slightly by small strips of cloth. Behind my back giant black angel wings were flapping. I wore high-heeled shoes; in my hands I was holding a small round bunch of black roses. The necklace Samuel had given me glittered on my neck while the big emerald ring shimmered dimly on my finger. Blood-red threads developed inside its green jewel – this sign prophesied disaster…

  ‘I’m happy to see all of you here! Thank you for coming!’ I declared and then walked over to the trembling Samuel and kissed him on his cold lips.

  ‘You’re perfectly beautiful, darling,’ he said, pale as death. ‘Your dress is immaculate.’

  ‘Congratulations to everybody!’ I said to the guests frozen in their seats.

  Music started playing. All those present stirred and began dispersing slowly across the hall. Michael elbowed through to me and gave a low whistle of admiration.

  ‘You look hellishly attractive in this terrific attire!’ he said, smiling broadly. ‘I just can’t take my eyes off you! What a dress! I’ve never seen anything like it, much less at a wedding. One could only envy your rich imagination! Miriam, if your intention was to knock everybody out with one blow you may consider your plan to have been accomplished.’

  Jack walked over to us and patted Samuel on the shoulder.

  ‘Well, how are you, buddy? Not too nervous, I hope?’ he asked.

  ‘Just a little bit,’ Samuel replied confusedly and hurried to change the subject. ‘Jack, meet Michael!’ he said trying to behave as free and easy as possible.

  ‘You should have said meet my brother Michael,’ Michael said with a grin. ‘Are you ashamed of having such a brother as me? Come on Sam! All of us are one big loving family…’

  Michael gave Samuel a slight ironic hug, and I saw small beads of sweat forming on my would-be husband’s forehead. Against his chalk-white face, Sam’s lips looked as if they’d been accentuated with red make-up. Jack said nothing and then walked silently away.

  ‘How do you find the bridal gown?’ Michael kept harping on, his eyes glistening from the alcohol he’d already consumed. ‘You two chose it together, didn’t you?’ he asked Sam laughingly and then drank up another glass of wine.

  ‘No, I didn’t know anything about the dress. I’m as surprised as everyone else is. The stunning effect Miriam has planned came off very well,’ Samuel said and started coughing nervously.

  ‘Miriam, you’re a drop-dead chick! You look terrific!’ Michael commented saucily, giving me the once-over. ‘I’m sure all the men present here are only thinking about you, looking away from time to time for decency’s sake only.’

  ‘How do you do, Miriam? I’m very glad to see you,’ Agella said with a marked politeness joining our company.

  She virtually shone – either because of the massive amount of jewelry she was wearing or because she was brimming over with joy.

  ‘Hi, Agella!’ exclaimed Michael, clearly happy to see a new victim of his irony. ‘I have to do justice to you – you’re looking terrific tonight! Your taste is simply perfect!’ he said in sham admiration. ‘You’re unparalleled in your beauty and intellect!’ And he laughed out loud.

  It seemed to me he was clearly overplaying, so I excused myself and went towards Jack and Jessie.

  ‘You’re wonderful tonight!’ said Jack, gazing at me in amazement and admiration.

  ‘I missed you, Miriam,’ Jessie said and gave me a cautious hug, trying not to deform my angelic wings. ‘You’re so beautiful in this dress!’ Jessie gave me a conspiratorial wink. ‘You look shockingly amazing, there’s no doubt whatsoever about it! But this bunch of roses… It makes me feel uneasy… You’d better throw it away,’ she said.

  ‘This bunch of flowers is a product of her late mother’s imagination,’ Michael explained for me, coming from behind.

  Dear grandchild! I heard someone calling. I turned round and saw my grandparents walking hurriedly in my direction. There was surprise on their faces but they tactfully said nothing concerning my wedding dress.

  ‘Congratulations, Miriam,’ my granny said. ‘Your parents must be watching you from the skies sharing your happiness. What a pity they didn’t live to see this day!’

  ‘We love you so much, dear grandchild! We wish you happiness!’ my granddad said emotionally.

  My heart panged. It began to dawn upon me that I was making the biggest mistake of my life. The murderer of my parents and the cause of all my woes was present here and now. I thought that if my parents were really watching me, they were only doing this to warn me about the impending danger.

  Samuel came up to me, took me by the hand and led me towards the center of the hall. We had to personally greet all the guests. Having seen the mayor, I nodded to him and said.

  ‘All the guests will be invited to take their seats, and you may begin the ceremony directly after this.’

  ‘I have everything ready,’ he replied.

  Elian ran up to me and kissed me on the cheek.

  ‘I’m so happy for you!’ she said.

  She didn’t look well: her face had become somewhat saggy, her jawline sharpened; there were dark circles under her eyes.

  Camera flashes blinded us from all sides, and I twirled in front of them, feeling huge satisfaction. I was very glad I had made an indelible impression on all those present. Samuel wouldn’t leave me for a moment, following me everywhere like a shadow.

  ‘Sam, I’m pretty excited, because the guests keep their eyes glued to us only,’ I whispered with a smile.

  ‘That’s no surprise! It’s because you look so stunning. Nobody’s pes
tering us with questions only because your dress scares everyone off!’ he replied.

  ‘Not everyone, Sam. Michael and Jack are devouring me with their eyes. Agella and Robert don’t seem to be confused by my appearance; I suspect they’re accustomed to seeing naked women,’ I said teasingly. ‘What do you think, darling?’

  ‘I don’t know, so I can’t confirm or deny your suspicion,’ Samuel replied. ‘I’ve only known Agella for a few years – not enough time to fully understand this woman. In fact, I won’t ever be able to understand you, either.’

  ‘Every human being is an enigma,’ I observed and then asked. ‘Darling, there are some guests I’m seeing for the first time here. Who are they?’

  ‘These people are big shots in the world economy.’

  ‘They are Agella’s friends, aren’t they?’ I insisted.

  ‘They all know each other,’ he said evasively and hurried to change the subject. ‘The guests are taking their seats, the ceremony’s about to start.’

  The wedding ceremony took place in the open air. The sun was shining tenderly; the weather was calm and windless. I kept thinking about Michael, a sharp pain was tearing my heart apart, and I did my best to quell it. I knew Michael felt the same way at that moment.

  Silence fell, and the priest began reading solemnly the familiar text. After a short canonical ritual the priest was followed by the mayor, who performed a civil wedding ceremony. We put our signatures on the papers, exchanged wedding rings and merged in a long kiss after the priest declared us husband and wife. All those present got up from their seats and stared clapping their hands and calling out joyous congratulations; all but Michael who remained seated with his hands crossed on his chest. He was staring into the distance and seemed to be completely immersed in his thoughts.

  ‘Miriam, I’m so happy we’ve become husband and wife,’ Samuel said emotionally.

  ‘So am I, Sam. I’ve prepared a small gift for you for the occasion,’ I replied, smiling a contented smile.