The Unforgiven Sin

by R. Twine

  ‘Come on, Michael.’

  ‘You see, it’s only recently that I’ve learned about the murders I’ve committed. When Phil died, an anonymous person sent me a disk by mail. It contained videos of some of the ‘dark’ aspects of my life. The anonymous person who sent me this ‘gift’ asked me to abandon you threatening that otherwise the material would go public. The man who blackmailed me was none other than Samuel. Naturally, I couldn’t fulfill his request. Phil knew full well about my secret life but I didn’t suspect that he did. Nor did I suspect that he was snooping on me. He wouldn’t let go of me even after you and I went our separate ways.’

  There was a false note in Michael’s voice. He tried to pass himself off as a victim so that I felt sorry for him.

  ‘Phil knew you were dangerous, that’s why he didn’t tell you that I was your brother,’ Samuel said, appearing in the doorway. ‘Knowing what you’re capable of, he was even afraid of telling you that he wasn’t your father. Phil also knew that the self-proclaimed Master who ruled over everything and everybody was you. He feared that you would kill me, too, this was why he asked me to arrange his meeting with Miriam after he found out you’d been spying on her.’

  ‘Miriam,’ said Michael, paying no attention to Samuel at all. ‘Coming to Earth incarnation upon incarnation, you had to accomplish the mission not yet accomplished. Those who could prevent it from being accomplished were being put out of the way – both your way and mine. But after we met, I’ve just been playing along. Now that the mission has been accomplished, I may leave quietly and without haste.’

  ‘I loved you, Michael… How could I possibly have gotten involved with a man who killed my parents and made me unhappy? Why didn’t Phil stop you after he found out everything?’

  ‘Phil wasn’t just a psychiatrist and a demonologist, Miriam. He was also one of the initiated! He realized that through you a very special mission was being carried out! Phil was a secondary personality, as a matter of fact. He was just an on-looker destined to witness and register some facts. He wouldn’t have been allowed to disclose what he had found out about me. I’ve been in the dark about my double life myself, for that matter. It was Phil who realized that in me there was the Prince of Darkness himself who’s been acting through my agency! And don’t forget that Phil had been serving Satanail, too. Everything is interconnected.’ Michael went silent, trying to quell the excitement caused by his emotional speech.

  ‘I’ll kill you, Michael,’ I said matter-of-factly.

  He stared at me tellingly for a moment and went on.

  ‘Phil realized that I’m Satanail’s son and Satanail himself, all in one. I cannot remember all the murders I’ve committed. If there ever is a trial, they’ll acquit me as a mentally ill person. Satan always gets away with his crimes because he carries out his mission with the consent of higher forces! Don’t forget about it! Nothing happens without the Creator’s consent!’

  ‘How could you possibly kill the people you loved?’ I asked.

  ‘After their deaths my brain’s been blocking the information, that is to say, it refused to recollect that it was I who killed them. I still cannot fathom that the merciless murderer was actually me! I suffered sincerely when my loved ones left me for good!’

  ‘And what about your wife, Michael? Did you have a hand in her murder, too?’

  ‘My wife somehow found out about my secret life and told an old friend of ours about it. The latter, in turn, passed the information to her father. Satanail in me would give me orders as to how I should act with regard to a specific person. But I wasn’t the only terminator.’

  ‘An old friend of yours…’ I said, recollecting. ‘The one whom you took out after he turned all of his shares over to you. Michael, I loved you, after all!’

  ‘You’re my goal!’ was all Michael said.

  I went for him and hit him hard across his face.

  ‘You are the new Master! I thought it was Samuel, but you’ve been cheating me all this time! How could you do this to me?’ I shouted, making deep scratches on his skin with my fingernails, tears streaming down my face.

  ‘Calm down, Miriam,’ Samuel said trying to drag me away from Michael. ‘Pull yourself together!’

  I threw him aside with one blow – as I once did when at school. Samuel’s head hit against the wall and he slid slowly down to the floor and passed out.

  ‘I’m Satanail’s son and the Prince of Darkness in person!’ Michael said pompously. ‘I’m the one capable of appearing in any guise! I’m the one responsible for equilibrium! I’m the one who carries out the function that God assigned me! I’m the one who seduced the first-ever woman! I’m the one who killed his brother and was pardoned by God himself for the murder I had committed! I’m the one who’s the link connecting the two worlds!’

  He guffawed infernally, and the mosaic windows of the chapel tinkled slightly. I kept on scratching Michael with my fingernails, tearing up his face, neck and hands. The wounds and scratches were bleeding…

  ‘You’ve gone mad! I’m going to kill you!’ I screamed, banging my fists against Michael’s chest.

  But he wouldn’t react to all this in any way, as if he didn’t notice me at all. He didn’t even try to stop me. Michael went into a trance and went on screaming like a madman. ‘I’m the one who was the first to persuade the Creator that there’s no stopping the evil which comes from man himself! I’m the servant of the Great Creator! The Father needs me, and I need Him, too! God created the invisible world and gave me, Satanail, unlimited power. Good and Evil cannot be separated from one another! Therefore I and Evil will live forever! I’m here to fulfill my promise and take back what’s owed to me.’

  Michael’s sardonic laughter was followed by convulsions of his facial muscles. He was foaming at the mouth and rolling his eyes. There was a real madman standing in front of me!

  ‘I hate you! I won’t forgive you for killing my parents and Natalie!’ I screamed, but Michael wouldn’t hear me at all.

  ‘You’re my first wife! You gave birth to our first-born baby-boy who came to symbolize my essence!’

  ‘Shut your mouth, you crackpot!’

  ‘Many children with my essence inside them are capable of taking on any guise, just like I am. Satanail is Michael, and Michael is Satanail! It was you who gave life and immortality to my essence.’ He was shaking with wild laughter, his head thrown back, his hands spread wide.

  I heard someone shouting outside the chapel and banging heavily against its door.

  ‘Open the door! Now!’ someone ordered from outside.

  ‘Miriam, we have to get out of here,’ said Samuel, recovering his senses. He staggered over to me and took hold of my hand.

  Again, I threw him away with one movement of my hand, and went for Michael again, clawing into him like a rabid Fury. The Archangel’s power in me surged, and I used it skillfully to my advantage, attacking Michael from all sides.

  But Michael-Satanail wouldn’t even try to defend himself or find ways of attacking or stopping me. He was playing some kind of a game again! I flew into a tantrum, losing my self-control completely. I grasped a heavy candleholder and, without thinking twice, hit him on the head with it as hard as I possibly could.

  ‘Miriam, don’t!’ Samuel yelled wildly.

  The door was smashed open, and several policemen headed by the detective burst into the chapel.

  The body of Michael-Satanail skyrocketed at the speed of lightning, smashing the mosaic dome to pieces. Several seconds later Michael’s mortal shell crashed down and fell on the floor with a thud. A trickle of blood appeared at the corner of his mouth…

  A scream of horror echoed in the chapel. Completely exhausted, I kneeled down and raised my hands towards cruel Heaven. Pain was stifling me. The stone walls began shaking. My wild scream coincided with the sound of crackling glass. The sky suddenly went dark, a high wind came up twirling in the air the petals of black roses which came drifting down through the empty windows, circling ominou
sly over my head. Staring down at me through the gaping hole in the dome was Satanail…

  Suddenly the Archangel’s voice came from behind me.

  ‘You had the opportunity to go another way, but you, Miriam, have chosen the one to which your instincts guided you. It was your own decision. Today you’ve changed your own life and the lives of all people on Earth. You’ve shown once again that a human being is still entitled to choose. Not everything is always predetermined, Miriam. There’s only one blank page left!’

  ‘Save me, Archangel… Take me away with you… I feel so bad…,’ I whispered in a broken voice. Tears were streaming down my face; I felt a sharp gripping pain in my heart which corroded my soul.

  ‘Michael, Michael…’ I crawled up to his lifeless body.

  ‘Let’s leave, Miriam,’ I heard Samuel’s voice.

  The police officer and Samuel took me by the arms, got me back on my feet again and led me out of the chapel.

  Far away, in a grey sky I suddenly saw Agella’s face with a contented expression on it: she was laughing silently, surrounded by demons; they sneered, baring their rotten teeth. The black petals were still dancing their weird circle dance. All the guests had somehow disappeared. The castle looked long abandoned.

  ‘You have to leave here immediately,’ the detective said, looking at my fingernails under which there still were traces of blood and tissue.

  ‘Miriam, you’ll have to forget all this as if it’s been a nightmare,’ Samuel advised. ‘Life is just beginning!’

  ‘Everything’s over for me,’ I said bursting into sobs. ‘Sam, I don’t want to live!’

  ‘Sorry, Miriam, but I had no other way out,’ Sam said gloomily.

  ‘How are we going to live with this? Tell me, how?’ I asked without expecting an answer. ‘I gained nothing by what I have done. Demons will assume other guises and go on living like they did before. There’ll never be an end to it…’

  ‘There will be an end, Miriam, but only when the Creator wants it to take place,’ Samuel said. ‘Nobody knows when He is going to want this, though.’

  Giant angels appeared in the skies – and the demons vanished right away without a trace. The sun shone brightly again, and it seemed to me that what had just happened was a mere nightmare.

  The day after the tragic events the persistent buzzing of my telephone brought me out of my consternation. Very reluctantly, I took my mobile and, sighing deeply, answered the call.

  ‘Good morning, Madame Gore. Detective Nino speaking.’

  ‘Good morning,’ I said without much enthusiasm.

  ‘I have to inform you… Right after Michael Brinstein’s body was brought to the mortuary a fire broke out there, taking the lives of all those present there at that moment… Not one of them managed to escape from that fiery trap. The building itself almost burnt to the ground…’ he concluded.

  Long days dragged on; time seemed to have switched to a lower gear. I felt Michael’s invisible presence; I knew that our connection hadn’t been completely broken yet. Totally withdrawn into myself, I kept inside, cried constantly and ate almost nothing. Insomnia was sucking out what remained of my inner strength. Seeing my frustration, Samuel tried in vain to make me forget this unfortunate period of our lives. He lost count of the tumblers of whiskey he had drunk and the cigarettes he had smoked. His face became yellowish with an earthy tint in it, his eyes sank; dark circles appeared around them.

  ‘I’ll have to visit Phil’s house. If you don’t want to go with me, I will understand perfectly well your lack of desire,’ Samuel said.

  ‘I will go with you.’

  I didn’t want to stay home alone.

  The next day we stepped over the threshold of the late Phil’s house.

  Stepping confidently, Samuel went to the library while I went upstairs to the bedroom where I had made love with Michael for the first time. I opened the window shutters and stared dully off into the distance.

  ‘Miriam, the Book of Shadows isn’t here any more,’ I heard the voice coming from behind. Stunned, I gave a little scream.

  ‘Michael?’

  He was staring at me with his piercing eyes.

  It seemed to me that my body had got filled with lead, a sudden fit of sickness gripped me by the throat; I felt like I was about to faint at any moment. But the image quickly disappeared leaving a dark diffusing whirlpool in its wake…

  The door swung open with a loud bang, and Sam, appearing in the doorway, said in a scared voice. ‘Miriam, the Book of Shadows is gone! We have to get out of here fast!’

  Chapter 50

  A gynecologist passed the sensor across my belly and said, smiling. ‘Madame, you’re pregnant, there’s no doubt about it.’

  The doctor pointed at the pulsating dot on the monitor screen.

  ‘This is the embryo’s heart beating… Congratulations! Your husband will be very happy.’

  ‘…will be very happy,’ I echoed back. ‘Sure he will.’

  I left the clinic and shuffled off. This was Michael’s child. Samuel had treated me with understanding and was always eager to fulfill my every whim, but I wasn’t sure how he would react to this news. Nothing could be done about it, though.

  I turned onto a narrow lane and suddenly faced a small church. This was a sign from above. I went in, sat in a pew and started to wait, marveling at the flickering flames of the candles.

  ‘Follow me, Miriam, my darling daughter,’ my mom’s voice echoed in the silence.

  I turned round and saw her standing some distance away, beckoning me over with her hand.

  ‘Mommy!’ I called her. This pleasant surprise made my heart skip a bit. ‘I’m so happy to see you!’

  ‘So am I, my little daughter.’

  Hardly had I got up when she merged into a stone wall. I came over – the stones were still oscillating – and walked easily through the wall.

  We found ourselves by the entrance into the Cave of Ghosts. The cave stunned me again with its magnificence. The chaos of bulging rocks and broken lines was oppressive, but I stood firmly on hard grey clouds. Large stars were hanging in the skies, shedding soft light onto this mystical place.

  Mom led me inside towards the magic spring. There was no one there but us. Dense fog was billowing over the pond; hardly had we got closer to it when the water bubbled and the fog started ascending slowly.

  ‘Nobody’s going to have his future disclosed to him or her in full,’ Laura spoke. ‘Not even you, Miriam, despite the fact that the immortal Eve’s spirit lives in your body.’

  ‘Mum, a human being cannot always correct what has been predestined, even if he or she knows the future. You can go different ways but come to the same result anyway. Exceptions are rare. We’re entitled to choose the way but the outcome will always be the same in the end…’

  ‘No, Miriam,’ Laura objected. ‘It is the right to choose that alters the life path of a human being. Everything depends on which choice will be made.’

  ‘I doubt it strongly after what has happened in my life. Life and its path may change but they lead eventually to a predetermined outcome. I was given a mutually acceptable choice. What happened next was nothing but a new pact concluded between the two worlds.’

  ‘Miriam, it is precisely on you that Eve’s Age ends,’ Laura said. After the birth of your first-ever children and after Cain killed Abel you’ve only had daughters. And it’s only now that we have the chance to turn back history – you’re going to have a boy again whose birth will become a starting point for the new civilization. This time you’ll give birth to only one boy, so that the murder can be avoided. Your son will have dark hair and your green eyes. He’ll grow up to be handsome and clever; his body will have the Threads of Light woven into it. The threads will make his mortal shell immune to decay. If his body stays undamaged, he’ll be able to live forever.’

  A vague and shaky fog spread around and filled the space in the cave. A pretty little boy appeared suddenly before me. He smiled, watchin
g me. How beautiful he is. And looks very much like Michael, I thought, gazing at him.

  The image disappeared, and Laura and I found ourselves in a blooming garden. The fragrance was so heavy that I felt dizzy. Birds were flying high in the sky. Little streams were whispering in the grass.

  ‘How beautiful this garden is!’ I exclaimed in delight. ‘I’d like to stay here forever!’

  ‘You’ll soon be a mother, Miriam.’ Laura spoke again. ‘I’m proud that you’re such a strong-willed person. Despite the opposition of dark forces you’ve managed to make it through no matter how difficult it has been. Now your mission is nearing its completion. You’ve been brave enough to defy even demons! Due to our efforts, the truth has come out!’

  ‘So it has!’ I said with sadness in my voice, ‘but this truth has failed to bring me long-awaited peace of mind. What’s more, I don’t understand now why I needed this excruciating search for truth which has ruined my existence… My zest for life is gone…’

  ‘You’ll soon have peace of mind, Miriam. And the demons that had been chasing you will become a thing of the past forever.’

  ‘They’ve already let go of me…’

  ‘Not all of them have done so, Miriam.’

  ‘Agella’s dead,’ I said. ‘The demon which had been hiding in her, abandoned her body. Robert’s dead, too. He hanged himself right after his wife was buried. Many members of the Star of Baphomet have disappeared in a mysterious way. I didn’t try to find out what happened to them in the wake of that tragic day, but there’s one thing I know for sure: some of them perished only to be replaced by others, ones in a new guise and with new names. But I don’t care about it any more. Life’s going on along its usual course, mom… What have I gained by finding the truth? Let things go as they did before, I’m no longer eager to search and find… What I care about now is my future baby…’