Loving The Bear

by Vanessa Devereaux

  She walked by him to get into the van, but he reached out and grabbed her arm. She froze on the spot, feeling familiar pain shoot through her body.

  “Please take your hand off me. I don’t like to be touched.”

  He pulled it away like he’d come in contact with a hot stove top.

  “Sorry,” he said.

  She rushed toward the van.

  “Lilly, look I’m sorry if I offended you, and as for touching you. Everyone needs to be touched, and if you don’t it’s because you’ve not be touched in the right way.”

  She tried not to listen because it was bullshit, right? She hurried into the van, slammed the door shut, crying as she started the ignition. She put her foot on the accelerator and exited the parking lot of the condo building as fast as she could. Her tears filled her eyes making it impossible for her to drive even another foot.

  Damn, she’d be a road hazard. She pulled over and turned off the ignition and put her head down upon the steering wheel. He’d probably meant no harm. He seemed so sweet and nice and her stupidity had probably insulted him.

  Damn that bastard of an ex-husband for ruining her life and turning her into a freak.

  Chapter Five

  Christopher slumped down on the couch. When Lilly had gotten uptight about him paying for the battery and suggested he had ulterior motives, his first reaction had been anger. He was only trying to be nice, but he guessed he didn’t know her well enough, and now that he’d had a chance to calm down, he could see how his action could have been easily misconstrued.

  He probably should have phrased it a little differently, but that was typical of him; say it first, then think about the consequences.

  When he’d reached out to touch her to assure her he hadn’t meant anything bad, he’d actually made things a whole lot worse. And touching her had sent her into sheer panic.

  There was fear too. His bear had smelled it, raw fear. The fear for your life kind.

  It wasn’t neccessarily him she was scared of, that he knew. He’d hazard a guess she was just scared, period. Had she been attacked at some point? Raped maybe? He shook his head. If that was the case he’d like to get his hands on whoever had done either of those things to her.

  Barney chose that moment to jump up on the couch next to him. He dropped a ball on Christopher’s lap.

  “Guess you want to go for a run and play. I could do with a good run too. Would you be scared if I ran as my bear self?”

  The Pomeranian tilted his head to the right side.

  “You ever had a girlfriend, Barney?”

  He barked.

  “Is that a yes or a no?”

  He barked again.

  “Why are women, whether they’re human or shifter, so complex?”

  Barney slumped down beside him and rested his head on his paws.

  “She’s so pretty. She’s nice too, right Barney?”

  The dog glanced up at him without moving his head.

  “I’m not giving up. That’s not what Christopher Renner’s about. I’m going to find a way to break through whatever’s scaring her. I’m going to heal her and make her my mate.”

  Barney jumped up and barked.

  “Glad I have you on my side because I need all the help I can get.”

  ****

  The sound of Katlin’s voice lifted her spirits. It had been one of those sorts of days, partially because of her own stupid hang-ups, but hearing her daughter’s voice on the other end of the line made it seem like the world was nothing but all perfect.

  “Tell Mommy what you did today,” Lilly’s mother spoke in the background.

  “I counted with Grandma,” said Katlin.

  “You did? Well, that’s very clever of you,” said Lilly.

  “I ate mac and cheese.”

  “Oh, my favorite,” said Lilly. “Grandma makes the best kind.”

  A tear ran down her cheek. She was doing all this for her. Getting settled somewhere new, saving money so one day Katlin could join her in Montana, and they’d live happily ever after.

  She knew deep in her heart they would, but getting to that part was the tough bit. There were days when she didn’t think they’d ever arrive there.

  Like today.

  Lilly swiped away a tear and tried to get her composure back before she spoke to her daughter again. Even at her tender age, Katlin knew when something wasn’t right.

  “How about Mommy reading you a bedtime story?” asked Lilly.

  “Bears, Mommy, bear story.”

  “Okay, bears it is.” Lilly reached for the book with the brown bear on it. She kept a supply of Katlin’s books with her so she could read to her over the phone. Ever since she’d been a baby, Katlin had loved a bedtime story. Back when things had been really bad with Matt, Lilly would escape into the make-believe world she was reading about. The world where men were heroes, they didn’t hurt women, men and women fell in love, stayed that way, and lived happily ever after.

  An image of Christopher sprang into her mind. She wasn’t sure why, but when she thought back to those fairy tales and happy endings, she’d thought of him. She only hoped she hadn’t offended him too much because now she realized that he hadn’t offered her the free battery with the intent of her owing him something somewhere down the line. She really wanted to phone and apologize, but she was too embarrassed to talk to him.

  “Bears,” said Katlin and it jerked Lilly out of her train of thought.

  “Are you all snuggled up in bed ready to hear the story?” asked Lilly.

  “Eddie’s here too.”

  Lilly smiled. She could picture Katlin and the bear under the covers. She opened the book to the first page.

  “Deep in the forest lived a dog named Ryan. He lived in a house all by himself. Tonight it was raining. He heard something moving outside…”

  “It’s the bear, it’s the bear,” said Katlin.

  “You have to wait and see if it is,” said Lilly continuing with the story. About five minutes later Lilly’s mom came on the line and whispered to her.

  “She’s fallen asleep and I’m creeping outside the room to talk to you so I don’t disturb her.”

  “Is she doing okay?”

  “She’s fine and the bedtime stories were a wonderful idea, honey.”

  “I enjoy them as much as she does,” said Lilly.

  “So how was your day and how did you get on with cleaning your first customer’s home?”

  “It’s a long story, but she died.”

  “Died?”

  “Yes, they think she had a heart attack while she sitting in the chair reading. All that happened before I got there I should add.”

  “Oh honey, that’s awful.”

  “Then the van’s battery died.”

  And a charming and good looking young man helped me and I was downright rude to him.

  No, her mom didn’t need to hear that because she’d lectured her about opening up her heart to someone again. Trusting them enough to let them into her life.

  “I got a new one and it’s back running. At least I have the café job to keep me going until I find another customer.”

  “I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you, and don’t you go worrying about Katlin. She can live here with us for as long as it takes you to get settled in there.”

  What would she have done without her mother and stepfather? She hated to think what people did who didn’t have this sort of support. In the back of her mind, she’d given some thought to opening a sanctuary for battered women and their children. Somewhere they could run when things turned ugly and they had nowhere else to turn. One day when she was back on her feet she’d do it.

  “I can send some money for her food and clothing. I know she’s growing fast and probably needs something new every week.”

  “You will not. You keep every penny and put it toward making a new home for the two of you.”

  “How am I ever going to repay you?”

  “By beginning a new life, and b
eing happy again, that’s how. Oh and inviting me and Bob for a vacation in Montana. I’ve always wanted to see Glacier National Park.”

  “Then let’s plan on the four of us going there sometime soon.”

  “I’m holding you to that.”

  “I’ll say goodnight, and kiss Katlin for me.”

  “I will, nighty, night honey.”

  Lilly put the phone down. A new life; being happy again. After what she’d done and how she’d behaved toward Christopher, she doubted that was ever in the cards for her because Matt had turned her into an idiot.

  Chapter Six

  Christopher opened his eyes. The sun was already peeking through the gap where the drapes didn’t quite meet, casting a stream of light across his bed. Barney was awake and looking at him. Christopher had spent Saturday night alone, well that was if you didn’t count the Pomeranian. Christopher had never stayed in on a Saturday night and had never spent it alone, ever.

  Aiden and Charlotte had invited him over to dinner at their new house, but he didn’t feel in the mood for seeing a couple madly in love and not being able to keep their hands off one another. He wanted some of the same things. At first, he hadn’t because he found it all too sweet and sickening, but then he’d run into Lilly. She’d had a strange effect on him. He’d only known her for a day, but she was already turning him into a person he never thought he’d be. Hopeless romantic.

  He sat up and ran his hands through his hair. Since he and Eliza had gone their separate ways, on Saturdays he usually went to a local bar, had some drinks and maybe connected with another shifter woman, brought her back to his place and had non-stop sex. Last night that hadn’t appealed to him. In fact, it was the farthest thing from his mind.

  Christopher reached across to the check he’d set on his bedside table. The one Lilly had given him for the battery. He hadn’t cashed it. He wasn’t sure if he ever would. Stamped under her name were her address and telephone number.

  Last night he’d sat staring at it for more than an hour. With his cell phone balanced on his knee, Christopher tried to work up the courage to call her. He’d never been without that sort of courage before, especially where the opposite sex was concerned. Meeting Lilly had certainly done something to him and for that reason alone he guessed that she was destined to be his mate.

  For a bear shifter that meant he had to change things in his favor and take control of the situation.

  The $1.99 breakfast special.

  He hadn’t realized he’d said that out loud until Barney’s ear’s perked up and he looked directly at Christopher.

  This was Sunday, he needed breakfast, didn’t feel like making it himself, so he might as well go to the café where Lilly worked. He jumped out of bed with Barney now close on his heels.

  “I promise as soon as I get back we’ll go for a nice long run,” Christopher told him. He turned on the shower. Mrs. Nelson’s son would be back tomorrow and he was going to miss the pooch. Another thing that he wouldn’t have believed about himself.

  ****

  Her mother had always said when you were busy, time flew by, and this morning, Lilly believed it. It was already going on nine and she hadn’t realized that she’d been waiting on tables for over an hour. It was a beautiful sunny day, even if it was a tad on the cold side, and people had turned out for breakfast in record numbers. The waiting list was now over twenty minutes, and she and the other four waitresses, hadn’t stopped since Rose had turned on the open sign on the door.

  Lilly noticed one of her orders being placed on the shelf by the hatch in the kitchen. She walked over to it, scooped up the three plates, and headed out into the café. She stopped suddenly almost dropping everything to the ground when she spotted Christopher sitting reading the newspaper and obviously waiting in line for a table.

  “Miss, is that our order?”

  She hadn’t realized she’d not moved from the spot until a man spoke to her from a nearby table.

  “What? Yes, I’m sorry, rushed off my feet,” she said heading his way and placing the plates down. “Anything else I can get you?”

  “No, looks like we’re good here,” said the man.

  She turned and saw she had two new customers at one of her tables. She walked over to them and pulled out her order pad.

  “What can I get you?” she asked, not looking at them, but Christopher. He looked so handsome today. Not that he hadn’t the other day. His dark, wavy hair just touching the top of his jacket. The broad shoulders. She remembered the way he’d so easily kicked in the door. Sort of like a superhero. She’d always had a thing for Superman. Christopher sort of reminded her of him. She hadn’t thought about that until today.

  “Two specials and two coffees?”

  “What…I’m so sorry. Right, I’ll get those straight away.”

  Just as she headed back to the kitchen she saw Christopher look up and straight at her. Her heart missed a beat. Was he here because she worked here or did he come just for the bargain breakfast she’d told him about? She was overthinking this and it was downright silly.

  “You okay Lilly?” asked Rose. “You look a little red in the face.”

  “I’m fine, just hot. We’re certainly busy this morning.”

  “Just how I like things. By the way, you have an admirer.”

  Lilly swallowed. “I do?”

  “Yes. The very handsome young man sitting out there in the brown jacket.” Lilly swallowed again. It was Christopher who Rose was referring to.

  “I told him as he was on his own I could seat him straight away in Jackie’s section but he insisted on waiting until something opens in your area. Do you know him or is he a secret admirer?”

  “I met him the other day.”

  “Lucky you, he’s gorgeous. Only wish I was thirty years younger.” She winked and walked away.

  She’d have to serve him. What was she going to say? Was she going to apologize for her irrational behavior?

  I should have called in sick this morning.

  ****

  Christopher’s stomach rumbled. He was hungrier than hell, but he wasn’t going to give up. He’d wait until a table was open in Lilly’s section. He watched her taking the order for a table of four guys. One was eyeing her up and looking at her ass.

  Hands off buddy. I saw her first. She’s destined to be my mate.

  If he was in his bear form and outside, he’d been rubbing himself up and down a tree, leaving his fur high up to show he was the dominant bear in this neighborhood. Lilly wouldn’t be anyone’s mate but his.

  The second guy at the table was also eyeing her as she walked away. Christopher glared at him, but he couldn’t blame the guy for looking at Lilly. She had her hair tied up in a ponytail today and looked so beautiful. When he’d first spotted her this morning, she’d literally taken his breath away. He watched as she leaned over a table and wiped it down before placing new flatware and napkins on top of it.

  “Renner, party of one.”

  Music to his ears. Christopher stood. The party of one thing sounded so sad and lonely but maybe things would be changing shortly. He smiled at the hostess and she walked him over to the table that Lilly had just cleaned.

  “Your waitress will be right with you.”

  He sat, took off his jacket, and hung it on the back of the chair. The place had thinned out a bit now. He’d waited twenty-five minutes for this table, but it had been worth every second.

  Christopher smelled her before he saw her. It was the same perfume she’d been wearing the other day. He looked up when she stood by the table. He swallowed. He’d been positive he knew what he was going to say, but now the words wouldn’t slip out of his mouth.

  Is this what happened to a bear when he found his mate? Aiden hadn’t mentioned acting like a complete fool when he’d found Charlotte. Damn, his brother should have warned him.

  “How are you this morning?” Lilly asked him.

  “I’m just great and I’m going to have the $1.99 breakfast s
pecial.”

  Shit, was that all he could manage to say? Not you look beautiful. What was happening to Christopher Renner, master of communicating with the opposite sex?

  “How do you want the eggs cooked?”

  “Scrambled.”

  “White or whole wheat toast?”

  “Whole wheat, and I’ll have tea and I’d like some honey for it and my toast.”

  “I’ll put that order in for you straight away and I’ll be right back with your tea.”

  He nodded. This wasn’t going how he’d planned. She turned. He almost grabbed her arm but then remembered how she’d reacted when he’d done that the other day.

  Baby steps.

  “Lilly,” he called to her.

  She turned back. “It’s great seeing you again,” he said

  “You too, Christopher.”

  She walked toward the back of the café and he sipped the glass of water she’d placed on the table. Her scent still clung in the air. It wasn’t until he dribbled some water on his leg that he realized his hands were shaking. Lilly’s presence turned him onto a bumbling bear.

  He placed the glass back on the table, safely getting it there without any more spills. Lilly returned with a silver pot of hot water, a blue mug, and two teabags, and a plastic bear filled with honey. He almost burst out laughing when he saw it.

  If only she knew.

  “The order shouldn’t be long,” she said.

  “Looks like it’s been a busy morning,” he said dumping the tea bag into the hot water.

  “Yes, but luckily it’s slowing down. Seems you’re my last customer, well at least for now. How’s Barney doing?”

  “Great. Mrs. Nelson’s son called to say he’ll be by tomorrow evening to collect him.”

  “I’ll send some sausage links home with you, a little something from me to Barney.”

  Christopher smiled. “And the van’s been running okay?”

  “Perfect. I’ll go see if your order’s ready.”

  She left and Christopher squirted some honey into his tea and gave it a stir just as Lilly carried two plates over and placed them in front of him. He could smell the seasoning in the sausages and the smokiness of the bacon. His nose twitched.