A Puzzle to Be Named Later--A Puzzle Lady Mystery

by Parnell Hall

  “Last I looked, this was New York City,” Cora said.

  “You want me to investigate your breaking and entering? I’m sure I can find evidence of your guilt, but that might be a conflict of interest since I just put up your bail. I’m dropping you at your car. Then I have a hot date with a bottle of Jack Daniel’s, and I’ll see if I have the slightest chance of ever getting back to sleep.”

  Chapter

  48

  Stephanie couldn’t believe Cora was calling. “You gotta be kidding.”

  “I’m not.”

  “It’s idiotic.”

  “No, it’s perfect.”

  “We got caught stealing his keys.”

  “Exactly. He caught us once, he’ll never expect us to do it again.”

  “Yeah, because it would be stupid. We put him on his guard.”

  “To do what? Lock his keys in a safe-deposit vault? I don’t think that’s his style. Besides, it’s not like we’re breaking into the witch’s office. That he’s been alerted to. We’ll be breaking into the gossip columnist’s office.”

  “Which we’ve also broken into.”

  “Yeah, but he doesn’t know it. We didn’t get caught. No officious watchman with a shaky gun hand came around.”

  “I thought he was going to shoot us.”

  “It seemed quite likely. He might have hit the trigger by accident. But this is an entirely different office building. He doesn’t work there. The gods of Dork will not have miraculously transferred him from where we were to where we’re going.”

  “We’re not going.”

  “Not unless you get those keys. It would be a hard door to get in without them. I might have to resort to my feminine wiles.”

  “You have feminine wiles?”

  “You’d better believe it.”

  “That could get you in the door?”

  “That’s nothing compared to other things they’ve got me.”

  “I don’t think I want to know.”

  “Did Crowley hear the phone?”

  “Crowley’s sound asleep.”

  “There you are. We’ll be back before he knows it.”

  “So, what are you looking for?”

  “A man who doesn’t break my heart.”

  “I mean realistically.”

  “Um, catty, I like that.”

  “Seriously. What are you really looking for? I mean, you searched the office. What are you looking for this time?”

  “Meet you there,” Cora said, and hung up the phone.

  Chapter

  49

  Stephanie was there. She didn’t look happy, but she had Crowley’s keys.

  “All right, what’s the big idea?” she said. “Why are we here?”

  “I don’t want to overlook the obvious.”

  “What’s the obvious?”

  “Leon Bratz was a sleaze.”

  “I don’t think we overlooked that.”

  “Yes, and no. We know Leon Bratz is a sleaze. We take it as a given. When we find him doing anything sleazy we take it for granted. It doesn’t raise any red flags.”

  “So?”

  “I have an idea. I hope I’m wrong.”

  “About what?”

  Cora clicked the door open, switched the light on. “It doesn’t look like anyone’s been here since last time.”

  “If they have, they didn’t fix the file cabinet. Please don’t get us caught again.”

  “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

  Cora walked over to the file cabinet, jerked open Leon Bratz’s party drawer with the liquor and the skin mags. She picked up a pile of magazines and handed them to Stephanie. “Here you go. Let’s read some porn.”

  “What are we looking for?”

  “Anything that jumps out at you.”

  Stephanie sat down and started leafing through the magazines.

  “Learning any new positions?” Cora said.

  “These aren’t hard-core. Just skin mags.”

  “Life is full of disappointments.”

  Cora flipped a page and stopped dead.

  She was looking at a shot of Jackie Greystone.

  Chapter

  50

  Becky Baldwin rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. “This better be good.”

  “That depends on your definition of good.”

  “Cora.”

  “I got arrested.”

  “For what?”

  “Breaking and entering.”

  “What did you do now?”

  “I broke into the witch’s office.”

  “I thought you did that already.”

  “Not her office here. Her office in the City.”

  “She had an office in the City?”

  “Right. The witch had an office in the City, and the police didn’t know about it.”

  “Until you got arrested.”

  “Yeah, but it’s the New York police. It will take time for it to filter down.”

  “Will it filter down?”

  “Crowley will probably call Chief Harper.”

  “Crowley arrested you?”

  “No, he bailed us out.”

  “Us?”

  “Stephanie was with me.”

  “Crowley must have loved that.”

  “You wouldn’t have known from his body language.”

  “I’ll bet. Okay, what’s the good news?”

  “That is the good news.”

  “You’re kidding.”

  “No.”

  “How is that good news?”

  “We know that the witch had an apartment in the City. It’s where she kept her appointments. She had four or five a day. They’re listed on her computer in an appointment calendar. The times and the names.”

  “Anyone we know?”

  “I got arrested before I could look.”

  “Damn. And that’s the bad news?”

  “No.”

  “What’s the bad news?”

  “I did it again.”

  “What?”

  “Breaking and entering.”

  “And got the names?”

  “No.”

  “Why not?”

  “I didn’t break into the witch’s office. That would be suicide. The police would be sure to have it sewn up.”

  “Cora, I’m half asleep. What the hell did you do?”

  “I broke into Leon Bratz’s office. I was afraid he had something on your client. Turns out I was right.”

  “Which client?”

  “The pretty one who doesn’t pitch.”

  “Right now that’s either of them.”

  “Damned if it isn’t. The young lady. Jackie Greystone. Turns out he had something on her.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Naked pictures.”

  Chapter

  51

  Jackie Greystone was sleeping in the room next to Cora’s. It was the room that used to be Sherry’s before she married Aaron and moved into the new addition. Jackie was sleeping rather peacefully for a woman who had had two murders on her property and whose husband was in jail.

  Cora shook her awake. “Get up, get up, time’s a wasting.”

  Jackie opened her eyes to find Cora and Becky looking down at her. “What the hell?”

  “Wake up. It’s another day, and another trauma.”

  “Matt?”

  “Matt’s fine. At least I assume Matt’s fine. I haven’t seen him in a while, but I would say he’s a damn sight better than you.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Leon Bratz had naked pictures of you.”

  Jackie Greystone raised her eyebrows. “I beg your pardon?”

  “He had pictures of you in a girlie mag. You don’t look bad.”

  “What in the world are you talking about?”

  “Leon Bratz. The man who was killed on your estate in your sauna. The man you walked in on and found dead. He had pictures of you naked. Can I assume you knew that?”

  “You can assume anything you like. It won
’t make it true.”

  “Hold on a minute,” Becky said. “You didn’t know he had the pictures?”

  “I didn’t know a thing about Leon Bratz except he was a pain in the ass gossip columnist. When I found him dead I wasn’t sorry.”

  “That’s probably not a good thing for you to spread around.”

  “Yes, yes, all God’s creatures and all that. Leon Bratz was one of those parasites who write those snide articles insinuating all kinds of things. It’s hard to feel bad about someone like that.”

  “You don’t need to feel bad,” Becky said, “but it’s probably better not to glory in his death.”

  “We’re getting off subject,” Cora said. “We were talking about naked pictures. You mind telling me how they wound up in a girlie mag?”

  “Clearly someone pointed a camera and took a picture.”

  “Did you pose for the pictures?”

  “Do they look posed?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then they probably are.”

  “You’re taking this awfully casually.”

  “This is not a big deal in this day and age.”

  “It is when the guy with the pictures is a gossip columnist you found dead.”

  “I can see how that would look bad.”

  “Does Matt know about the pictures?”

  “I don’t know. He never mentioned it.”

  “You didn’t volunteer the information?”

  “The subject never came up.”

  “You never mentioned it?”

  “No. Did you tell your husbands everything you ever did?”

  “Not even in court,” Cora said. “But you can tell me. Did you know Leon Bratz had naked pictures of you?”

  “I don’t even know now. I only have your word for it.”

  “Trust me, he had ’em. Was he holding them over your head?”

  “This is the first I’ve heard of it. So, you found some pictures. I trust you destroyed them. And how do I know you’re not making it up?”

  “It’s not the sort of thing I’d do.”

  Becky coughed discreetly.

  “All right, it is the sort of thing I’d do,” Cora said. “No, I did not destroy the pictures. Becky and I are a full service operation, but we draw the line at actually committing crimes.”

  Becky coughed again.

  “Would you stop doing that?” Cora said irritably. “I’m trying to paint us in the best possible light. Right now that isn’t particularly rosy.”

  “You got any more surprises you’d like to drop on my client while she’s half asleep and vulnerable?”

  “What about the theory Matt and the woman were having a fling?”

  “I told you they weren’t.”

  “Yeah, but now that you’ve had some time to think about it.”

  “There’s no connection.”

  “Yeah, there is, and the cops are going to find it.”

  Jackie took a breath. “All right, who knows about this?”

  “The three of us, and my friend, Stephanie.”

  “Will she tell anyone?”

  “No. Well, maybe her boyfriend.”

  “Who’s her boyfriend?”

  “Sergeant Crowley.”

  “A cop?”

  “When you say it like that it sounds bad.”

  “If you were trying to shock me awake, you’ve done it. This woman is going to tell her boyfriend, who’s a cop. Who’s going to tell the other cops, and then I’ll get arrested.”

  “You’ve already been arrested.”

  “All right. Let’s go talk to Matt.”

  “We can’t do that.”

  “Why not?”

  “There’s reporters in town. They think he’s in the hospital, but they can’t get in to see him. If you show up at the jail, they’ll know he’s there.”

  “You mean he can’t get out?”

  “I didn’t say that.”

  Chapter

  52

  The two men who came to fix the air conditioner were a moral victory for Chief Harper. They were done in half an hour. At least, that’s when their truck left. Actually, one of them stayed behind, taking Chief Harper’s air conditioner apart. It didn’t look salvageable, but the guy was giving it his best shot.

  He was doing it in street clothes. His work clothes left the police station in the van. Matt Greystone wore them. With a cap pulled down over his eyes, he looked quite natural in a repairman’s gear. It occurred to Cora that might come in handy if his arm didn’t heal.

  The van dropped Matt off at home and no one was the wiser. Twenty minutes later he was seated at his dining room table with Jackie and Cora and Becky. Matt hadn’t had time to shower, but he’d dunked his head in a sink full of water, and was consuming coffee at a rate that could not have been much faster had it been in an IV.

  “Okay,” Cora said. “Moment of truth time. You know that old joke where the guy says, ‘You got any naked pictures of your wife?’ The husband is shocked and says, ‘Of course not!’ The guy says, ‘You want some?’”

  “What the hell are you talking about?”

  “Naked pictures of your wife. Leon Bratz had some.”

  “No, he didn’t.”

  “Yeah, he did.” Cora jerked his thumb at Jackie. “She claims she didn’t know that.”

  Matt looked over at his wife. “Honey?”

  Jackie put up her hands. “Don’t look at me. This is all her idea.”

  “Yeah, but naked pictures?”

  “She doesn’t mean now. She’s saying the guy found something in an old magazine. I don’t think he did, but that’s what she claims.”

  Matt blinked. “Wait a minute. You’re saying there are naked pictures?”

  “You want us to leave you two alone?” Becky said.

  “No, I don’t want you to leave us two alone,” Matt said. “I want you to stop playing games and tell me what the hell is going on. I feel like my head’s coming off. You come in with a story like this, my wife isn’t saying you’re wrong. We’ve gotta get this straightened out before Don comes in and starts making fun of me.”

  “Don wouldn’t do that,” Jackie said.

  Matt looked at her. “Are you telling me he knew?”

  “Matt.”

  “Is the press going to know? Will that moron from the TV station ask me questions?”

  “Not if we can help it,” Becky said. “The police don’t have this yet. Right now we’re trying to prepare. Your wife says she doesn’t know a thing, and I believe her. It’s important, because the police will think it’s a motive. And we’ll be hard-pressed to prove she didn’t know.

  “Anyway, that’s what the cops could have on your wife.

  “Now for what the cops could have on you. Would you like to speak to me privately?”

  “I have no secrets from my wife.”

  “I had no secrets from my ex-husband, Melvin,” Cora said. “Of course, he hired a detective.”

  “Were you having an affair with Amanda Hoyt?” Becky said.

  “Certainly not.”

  “Did you know her?”

  “No, I didn’t.”

  “Your name was on a file in her file cabinet.”

  “Honey?” Jackie said.

  “I don’t believe it. Show me the file.”

  “We don’t have the file,” Becky said.

  “Of course, you don’t. And you’re not going to. This is nonsense, sweetheart. What would I want with a woman like that?” Matt grimaced. “Look. We’re wasting time here. The main thing is protecting Jackie. If the police don’t know about her, we’ve got to keep it that way. Can you do that?”

  Cora sighed. “I can try.”

  Chapter

  53

  Stephanie grabbed the phone. “Yeah?”

  “Is he awake?”

  “I’m going to kill you.”

  “I don’t want you to do anything, go anywhere, I’m not going to get you in trouble, is he awake?”

  “I don’t k
now how to answer that.”

  “A simple yes or no would suffice.”

  “When I get off the phone I’m either going to fall asleep, or he’s going to roll over, sit up in bed, and say, ‘Who was that?’ As if he didn’t know.”

  “I vote for the first choice.”

  “What am I going to tell him?”

  “Tell him we’ve got to go to Yankee Stadium to interview a batboy who was checking invitations at Matt Greystone’s party.”

  “What?”

  “Yeah. I gotta do it anyway, I figured you and the sergeant would like to tag along. That’s why I called.”

  “Why are you really calling?”

  “I don’t want you to get in any more trouble with Crowley.”

  “You and me both.”

  “So it would be better if he didn’t know we broke into Leon Bratz’s place.”

  “I hope he’s not on the extension.”

  “Is there an extension?”

  “No, but I’m getting spooky.”

  “So, there’s absolutely no reason to bring it up.”

  “I’m with you there.”

  “So, you can’t tell him about the naked pictures.”

  “Oh, so that’s how it is.”

  “What, you were going to tell him about the naked pictures without telling him you broke in?”

  In the background, a cranky, sleep-ridden voice growled, “Who the hell is that?”

  “Cora’s inviting us to Yankee Stadium.”

  Chapter

  54

  The guard at the Yankee Stadium press gate didn’t want to let them in.

  “You don’t have tickets,” he said.

  “No,” Sergeant Crowley said. “I have a shield.” He flopped it open for the guard. “This is police business. We need to get in.”

  “Where would you watch the game from?”

  “We’re not going to watch the game. We just want to interview the batboy.”

  “I’ll send him out. What’s his name?”

  “I don’t know his name,” Crowley said.

  The guard looked at him suspiciously. “You don’t know his name?”

  “Of course we don’t know his name,” Cora said impatiently, “he’s the batboy. It’s not like he had stats and a uniform number and a rookie card. He picks up the goddamned bats.”

  Derek Jeter came out the door and spotted them. “Cora. What are you doing here?”