Life In Death (Book 1): Surviving Death (The Struggle)
Page 20
“I think everyone needs a break and not just the group yesterday. Everyone has been on edge lately. Everyday there are chores or projects that we are all involved with and I think it’s time for a few days off.”
“Hmm. I can’t argue with that. The moral has been pretty low, even before what happened yesterday,” Steve said.
“Agreed. I was thinking about talking to everyone about it today before I go to sleep. What do you think? Start it today? Let it go for two or three days?”
Steve thought about it. “Yeah…Yeah! I don’t see a problem with that. It actually sounds pretty good.”
“Hey! What do you mean by ‘actually’,” Frank asked, jokingly.
Steve chuckled.
Frank motioned to Anna and Kim. “Ladies? What do you two think?”
“I like the sound of it. I know we could all use some time to ourselves,” Kim said.
“I would like to spend more time with Isabelle. There’s always something to get in the way. This would be good for her too,” Anna said.
“My only question is the night watch…” Steve said.
“I will do all three nights if I have too. For the rest, we’ll have to ask for volunteers,” Frank said.
“That doesn’t sound like a vacation for you,” he said.
“This isn’t for me. It’s for them,” Frank said.
“God damn it, Frank! You can’t keep going like this! You’ll burn out,” Steve yelled.
“You let me worry about that. If staying up for three nights gets them the break they deserve then it is a small price to pay.”
Steve sat there thinking. He knew it was the right thing to do. “Ok. Hell with it. You can count me in too.”
“Me too,” Anna said.
“No. What about Isabelle,” Frank asked.
“I won’t be asleep the entire day all three days. I can spend time with her before I go to bed every day. I could also lose a bit of sleep to stay up with her.”
“Are you sure about that?”
“Yep. I like this plan,” she said, enthusiastically.
“I could also do the same with Will and Kim,” Steve said.
“Actually, I want to volunteer too,” Kim said.
They all looked at her. She started to feel uncomfortable.
“Well, the only time I get alone with Steve is night watches and that’s only once a week now. It’ll be nice to spend more time with him.”
Frank looked back and forth to everyone.
“Ok. That’s settles that. Let’s go gather everyone up.”
Soon they had everyone outside on the porch.
“Sorry to gather everyone up on short notice. Night watch, I’ll make this quick so you can go to bed. First of all, I want to thank everyone for working so hard lately. I know this feels like working a job you can’t get away from. I also know that everyone has been wound a little tight. Steve and I would like everyone to take a few days off. Basically, what that means is no chores, no projects, no work, period,”
Everyone started to talk amongst themselves, looking at each other, not believing what Frank was saying.
Frank raised his voice to be heard. “Are there any questions?”
“Yeah, what about night watches? Who’s going to do those? Someone has to,” Jim said.
“Anna, Steve, Kim, and I are going to handle all three days.”
“You guys are doing all three days? What about your break,” Tommy asked, concerned about his friend.
“We will do what we want in our down time. Believe me when I tell you, we want to give you guys a break. This isn’t your old corporate job where we say you can take it easy and still expect progress. I want you guys to spend the time doing what you want to do. If you want to go hunting, go hunting. If you want to do your own little project, feel free. If you want to laze around the house, just keep you pants on.”
The group giggled.
Frank continued. “I want you to unwind. That’s all.”
“Frank, this all sounds really good, but it also sounds like you guys are shafting yourselves. Let me pick up one of the nights,” Tommy said.
“Me too,” Jim said.
The entire group started volunteering, louder and louder. Frank looked at Steve and smiled. Finally, he raised his hand. The loud chattering petered out.
“Guys, I know you want to help but that’s not the point of this. We want to do this for all of you. If we need some extra time after the days off then we’ll take a day. For right now, just let us do this for you. You all deserve it.”
“Ok. If you say so. I don’t really know what to do though,” Tommy said.
“Hang out with Natalie all day. Do whatever she wants to do,” Steve said.
“That sounds pretty good. You guys let me know if you need help with the night watch. I can always take a night,” Tommy said.
“We will Tommy. Thank you.” Frank then addressed the entire group again. “Alright guys. That’s all I have. Have a good vacation.”
Everyone got up to leave, everyone except for Tommy and Jim. They both walked up to Frank.
“Frank, is this about what happened yesterday? If it is, we’re fine. We can do some of the night shifts,” Tommy said, concerned that Frank thought he might be weak.
“No, Tommy. To tell the truth, Steve and I have noticed that everyone has been running ragged lately, even before yesterday. This way, everyone gets some R&R. Anna and I can spend some time together and so can Kim and Steve.”
“Are you guys sure about this,” Jim said.
They all looked at each other and nodded in agreement.
“Positive,” Frank said.
“Ok. The offer is still on the table, though. Let me know if you need help,” Tommy said.
“Same goes for me,” Jim said.
“Will do,” Steve said.
The two went inside. Frank looked at Anna. She looked exhausted but in a good mood considering the work they just dedicated themselves to.
“Ready for bed.”
She looked at him. She seemed groggy. “Yep.”
Chapter 20
Stay-cation
The two woke with a shock. Isabelle had jumped on to the bed. Kim was giggling by the door.
“Wake up, mommy and daddy,” Isabelle yelled.
“She said she wanted to be your alarm clock,” Kim said.
“She did, huh?” He looked at her. “I wonder if alarm clocks are ticklish.”
She smiled at him. “No-o. Not ticklish.”
Frank and Anna started tickling her waist and feet. The girl bucked and convulsed, laughing hysterically.
“That’s funny because it looks like this alarm clock is very ticklish. What do you think, mom?”
“Very ticklish, indeed,” Anna said.
“No! Stop it,” Isabelle yelled.
Anna and Frank finally released her and she jumped off the bed.
“No more tickling,” she said, playfully.
“Ok, ok. No more tickling.”
He sat up on the side of the bed and checked his watch. It was 4pm. He looked back at Anna.
“Got some time before night watch. What would you ladies like to do?”
“Mommy, can you play with me for just a little while.”
“What about Daddy?”
“I don’t think Daddy likes Barbie,” Isabelle said.
She looked at Frank and smiled.
“What’s wrong with Barbie?”
“I think she’s a fine, young woman that has a tendency to make poor decisions. She bought a Pontiac. She should have got a Ford.” He put his hand on his chest, dramatically. “And I happen to think that she’s way too good for Ken.”
They all laughed. “Ok, my love. Let’s go play.”
Frank watched the two leave. Kim turned back to Frank.
“You really are a good dad, you know that, Frank?”
“I do the best I can. She deserves it,” he said.
He stood up from the bed and followed her down stairs.
�
��Did you get any sleep?”
“Yeah. We got a few winks. Should get us through the night,” she said.
“Good. There is still time. You could get a few more.”
“No. I think we’re good. Steve is out throwing around a football with Will and Tommy,” she said.
“Hmm. Sounds like fun.”
Frank followed her outside and saw them tossing the football back and forth. Natalie was standing on the porch watching them. Tommy noticed him.
“Frank! Catch,” Tommy yelled.
Tommy threw the football to him. The spiral was perfect and he had perfect aim. Frank caught it. He threw the football to Steve. The motion hurt.
“That’s enough for me,” Frank said.
“Ribs,” Steve asked.
Frank shook his head in acknowledgement.
“How are you going to relax when you can’t do dangerous, strenuous activities,” Tommy asked, sarcastically.
“I’ll manage. Thinking about cleaning some of the weapons,” Frank said.
Steve looked at him with a strange look on his face.
“Really, Frank? You’re supposed to be relaxing. Cleaning weapons doesn’t sound relaxing.”
“It is for me. The process is very soothing for me,” Frank said.
“Frank has been in the military game for a long time. Some things are ingrained. That’s how he works,” Tommy explained.
He was right. Frank got into routines and developed certain weird tendencies.
“It helps me relax and think. It’s therapeutic for me,” Frank said.
“You guys are weird,” Steve said.
“We know,” Tommy and Frank said in unison.
Hours later, Frank had his M14 disassembled on a table in the basement. He already had a few weapons cleaned and polished back in their rack. He babied the weapon parts, ensuring every bit of carbon was scrubbed off. He was working on the weapon’s bolt. Polishing every crevice. Craig came down stairs and interrupted him. He sat across from Frank, feeling a bit intimidated by all of the complicated looking parts sitting on the table.
“What’s up, Craig,” Frank asked.
“Got bored. Wondered if you needed any help down here.”
“Not really. This is relaxing for me,” he said as he did a final inspection on the bolt.
“Could you teach me? I know next to nothing about any of these guns.”
Frank stopped what he was doing and sat the bolt down.
“Sure. Let me get this put back together and we’ll go through the basics.”
He began to assemble the M14 carefully.
“So, what’s this one? It looks different from the one you usually carry.”
“This is my father’s M14. He left his entire weapons collection to my mom and me when he died. This make has been in service in the military since the 60’s and is still just as effective. It uses a much bigger round than the other rifles and is a perfect sniper rifle,” Frank explained.
Once it was fully assembled he put the weapon away and came back with Anna’s M4.
“This is Anna’s second baby, the military’s M4.”
He ran through all the features of the weapon and then had Craig do a function check.
“The main problem with this weapon is that it can be finicky when it’s too dirty and it can be a pain in the ass to clean.” Frank pulled the bolt back to inspect the chamber. “I would give Anna a hard time about this but yesterday was a bad day.”
Frank unrolled a mat that displayed a map of all the parts for the weapon. He handed Craig the weapon and walked him through on how to disassemble it.
“Now some of these parts are very small and easy to lose. Best way to keep track of them is to place them on the listed part on the map,”
Craig did as he was told. Carefully stripping the weapon down. They sat there for an hour cleaning Anna’s rifle. Frank didn’t mind. He loved to train new people and he took care to make Anna’s rifle as immaculate as possible.
Craig put the weapon back together, a bit clumsily, but correctly.
“Very good. Stuff like this is all about repetition. Want to do another?”
“Sure,” Craig said, enthusiastically.
He liked doing this. He liked the intricacies of it, how complicated it was. Frank performed a function check out of habit and put the weapon back in its place. He came back with an AR15.
“This is the civilian version of the M4, the AR15. What do you think AR stands for?”
“Assault rifle?”
Frank shook his head. “Common misconception. History lesson. AR actually stands for Armalite. Armalite is a small arms company who originally designed the weapon in the 1950’s. The big difference between the AR15 and the M4 is the select fire function. The M4 has a burst fire function. The AR 15 is semi-automatic only.”
“You really know your guns.”
“Being lifelong military will do that. Maybe tomorrow I can teach you how to shoot it.”
“That would be nice. The only thing I know how to shoot is that old shotgun.”
Frank chuckled. “Yeah. I remember.”
“Hey. I missed, didn’t I?”
The two laughed.
“That you did, my friend. That you did.”
Later that night, Anna and Frank sat on the chairs at the edge of the front porch. They were both sipping on coffee.
“I think just having the day off today worked wonders for everyone. I haven’t seen them in this good of a mood in quite a while,” she said.
“Yeah. I think we did well.”
“No. You did well. This wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t say anything.”
“I’m sure someone would have stepped up eventually.”
“I doubt it. Everyone wants to try their hardest to not put work on anyone else. The tension would have built until someone blew up. This was the best way to handle it.”
“You think so?”
“Definitely. We’re serious when we say that you are the one that hold us together. Where would be without you?”
Frank blushed. “Up shit creek without a paddle?”
“I’ve never heard that expression… but it sounds about right, if not worse,” she said with a giggle.
“She’s got a point, Frank.”
They both jumped and looked back. Tommy was standing in the doorway.
“How long have you been standing there,” Frank asked.
“Not long. Think my big ass is getting good at sneaking,” Tommy answered.
“No kidding. Why are you up? It’s like two in the morning,” Frank said.
“Couldn’t sleep. Just came down to get some water. You guys need anything.”
“I could use a restroom break while you’re here,” Anna said.
She got up and went inside. Tommy sat down in her place next to Frank.
Frank knew something was wrong. The guy could sleep through an earthquake.
“You doing ok, Tommy?” Frank asked.
Tommy rubbed the back of his head. A nervous habit he has.
“Yeah. I’m ok.”
“Don’t bullshit me, Tommy. You know you can talk to me. You having nightmares?”
“…Yeah.”
“Yeah. That’s what I figured.”
“How did you know?”
“Steve told me that you were up last night too.”
“What do I do about this?”
“The worst thing about nightmares is that you can’t really control them. It’s our inability to cope with the things we have done or seen that creates them. Nightmares are basically a recollection of these events compiled with other events that you experience. That’s why some details may be different.”
“So, how do you deal with your nightmares?”
“I just keep in mind that I’ve already been through it once and I can do it again. What happened was not my fault and I couldn’t control or change any part of it. If it does wake me up, I just remember that I’m safe and I have Anna next to me. I can usually get
back to sleep.”
“That sounds pretty good. You haven’t been able to get them stop?”
“No. I still have nightmares from events years ago. They are getting better but I do still have nightmares every now and then. It’ll take time but if you come to terms with what happened then it will get better.”
Anna walked back out onto the porch. Tommy got out of her seat.
“Thanks, Frank. I feel a bit better.”
“Any time. Good night.”
Tommy started walking back inside. “Kept your seat warm for you.”
“Oh, thanks,” Anna said, wondering what just transpired. She sat back down next to Frank.
“What was that about?”
“He’s have trouble sleeping,” he answered.
“I don’t think he’s the only one. Sam’s sitting at the kitchen table,” Anna said.
Frank started to get out of his seat. “I should probably go talk to her.”
“See if you can’t bring her out here. Fresh air might be good for her.”
“Will do,” he said as he stepped inside.
He walked into the kitchen and saw Sam staring at her bottle of water.
“You can’t sleep either,” Frank asked, mostly to get her attention.
Her head jerked up as if she was spooked. “Oh, Frank. It’s you.”
“Are you ok?”
“Yeah. I’m ok,” she said. She seemed like she was about to break down. “…No. I’m not ok.”
Frank reached out to her with one hand. “Come on. Let’s go outside.”
She took his hand and got out of her seat. She followed him to the front porch.
“Hi, Sam. Come on and have a seat,” she said as she patted the seat of Frank’s chair next to her.
“Thank you,” she said as she accepted the invitation and sat down.
Frank hopped down off the porch and stood in front of the two women at eye level.
“Are you still having nightmares?”
“Yeah,” she admitted.
“Not able to not think about what happened while you’re awake?”
“…Yeah.”
“Have you ever heard of PTSD,” Frank asked, getting right to the point.
“That’s the thing that soldiers get, right,” she responded.
“Yeah, it’s not just soldiers. That’s just where you hear it from the most. Anyone can get it after a traumatic experience, like the ones you’ve had.”