Two Weddings and a Baby

by Scarlett Bailey

‘How does that make it your fault?’ Ruan asked her.

  ‘Because I talked her into leaving you,’ Tamsyn said simply. ‘I gave her a place to stay, found her a job, and told her the best possible thing she could do for you and for her would be to leave. I spoke to her the morning before you had your row. And even then she was in two minds about what we had planned; maybe she should wait a few weeks, maybe her feelings could change, if she only tried harder. She almost called the whole thing off. I talked her into going through with it. I talked her into that argument with you, and I might as well have talked her into that boat.’ Tamsyn took a step closer to her brother. ‘Ruan, she was always going to leave you, sooner or later, but it didn’t have to be that day. It was only that day because of me.’

  ‘You told me, you told everyone that it was my fault, that I as good as killed her,’ Ruan said. ‘It was bad enough that I felt that way myself, but when you said it, then it was real. Why would you say that?’

  ‘Because I was angry, hurt, guilty, stupid, messed up.’ Tamsyn shook her head. ‘I tried to blame you because I blamed myself so much. I meant to put it right, but the days went by, the weeks, the years. I’m sorry, Ruan. I’m so sorry. I was going to tell you after the wedding; I sort of thought that running up five dresses in a day and a half for your bride might soften you up a bit … Be angry at me, hate me, don’t speak to me for five more years, I can take that. I can take rejection, I’ve had a lot of practice. But please, I am begging you: don’t mess up your future with this wonderful woman. I know that you two are meant to be together, and even if you hate me, you know I am right.’

  The slightest of breezes snaked through the trees above their heads, and he watched her for the longest time, and Tamsyn waited, feeling each second fall away with agonising speed.

  ‘You’d better drive,’ he said, fishing a carrier bag from behind a rock. ‘I’ve got to change my shoes.’

  ‘And we’re OK?’ Tamsyn asked him, as they trotted back to the car.

  ‘Get me to the church on time, Tam, so that Alex never knows that I was this stupid. Do that and we’re even, because, well, I’ve missed you. And now you’ve admitted you were in the wrong, I don’t see any reason to miss you again.’

  ‘Spoken like a true Thorne,’ Tamsyn said, slotting the key into the ignition. ‘Now, pray that this damn thing starts.’

  Tamsyn was shimmying into her bridesmaid’s dress and struggling with the zip at the back, when she heard a polite cough behind her. It was Jed in his full vicar’s uniform – cassock and everything.

  ‘You really are a vicar, aren’t you?’ Tamsyn said. ‘It’s not an optical illusion, is it?’

  ‘I really am. Do you need a hand? Everyone is out there; Alex is seconds away.’

  ‘Would you mind?’ She gestured at the strip of bare flesh that showed between the panels of the dress. Turning back to look at the old stone wall, Tamsyn closed her eyes as she felt Jed standing behind her, felt the pull of the zip fastening shut.

  ‘That’s you sorted,’ Jed said. He sounded a little hoarse. ‘You’d better run round the side and meet the bride.’

  ‘Good luck,’ Tamsyn said, turning to catch his eye before he left.

  ‘And you,’ he nodded. ‘And you.’

  And then it was time for a wedding.

  ‘Where the hell have you been?’ Lucy demanded, looking lovely in the deep sea-blue, knee-length dress Tamsyn had designed for her, its hem sparkling with beads that were just a shade lighter than the dress.

  ‘Snogging the vicar, I reckon,’ Cordelia said.

  ‘Well that’s where you would be very, very wrong. The vicar is not interested in me, not in the slightest,’ Tamsyn said, ‘and that is fine by me, as it happens.’

  ‘You haven’t straightened your hair!’ Keira said, aghast. ‘It’s all wild and curly and lovely, and crazy. And a bit tangled at the back, a bit like you’ve been snogging a vicar.’

  ‘I have not been snogging,’ Tamsyn repeated. ‘I have been up for two days in a row, saving the day on an hourly basis, and something had to give.’

  ‘Well, in any case,’ Alex said, her smile radiant, as she hooked her arm through that of her proud-looking and straight-backed father, who seemed to be doing his best not to shed a tear. ‘It’s time to do this thing. Let’s go and get married.’

  ‘How are you feeling?’ Tamsyn whispered as they waited in the porch for the music to start.

  ‘Nervous as hell,’ Alex breathed.

  ‘Well, there is one more person, waiting in the church for you, who might calm your nerves a bit,’ Tamsyn said. ‘I sorted you a page boy.’

  ‘Oh.’ Alex carefully maintained a smile, although her voice faltered. ‘One of the twins?’

  ‘Or should I say, a page B-U-O-Y?’ Tamsyn grinned, as Alex’s friend Marcus pulled open the door to reveal that Buoy was sitting, waiting patiently for his human, wearing a blue satin bow around his neck, with remarkable good grace for a dog who considered soap to be a serious violation of his dog rights.

  ‘Oh Buoy!’ Alex bent to hug him. ‘You look amazing.’

  He rolled his one eye at her, thumping his tail on the tiles, and somehow Tamsyn knew that Alex was the only human that Buoy would go through such a horror for, and that right after the ceremony he was certainly going to chew the stupid bow to a pulp.

  The organ had been quite badly water-damaged, but they needn’t have worried as Brian Rogers led a full rock band in the choir stalls, striking up the bridal march as Alex and her father began to walk down the aisle. Tamsyn didn’t need to see the bride’s face to know how delighted she would be with the interior of the church, because she herself was completely enchanted, gasping in wonder as she looked around. Keira had indeed brought the Cornish countryside into the church, making bowers of broken branches, still heavily laden with blossom, and garlanded it with cowslips, buttercups and daisies. At the end of each pew there were posies of pansies and daffodils. Keira hadn’t even tried for a colour scheme; instead she’d simply filled the church with all the colours of a meadow in full bloom, and the ancient place of worship, with its broken door and shattered window, was filled with the scent and warmth of a summer day, with even the occasional butterfly flitting from pew to pew.

  Tamsyn watched as her brother’s eyes met Alex’s, and saw the slow, certain smile spread over his face, which she just knew was returned by his bride. As Alex reached him, he took her hand and pressed it to his lips, as he looked into her eyes.

  Tamsyn took her place to the side of the aisle next to her sisters and Lucy, and looked at the smiling faces of the congregation, who had all turned out to support their friends despite everything they had been dealing with themselves, and the strangest thing happened: she fell in love in that very moment. Not with a person, or even the wedding, but with the place that had proved to her something she was never really certain she believed until now.

  People were good. People were good, and kind, and brave. People wanted the best not just for themselves but for each other, and that was what defined them, what made them human. And somehow, although out in the wider world, where often those basic truths had been forgotten or pushed aside, here they still mattered. And that was enough for Tamsyn to realise that regardless of what had happened between her and Jed, being here, starting her life here again, was exactly the right thing for her to do. Here she could be the person that she wanted to be, she could be herself.

  It was impossible not to let one or two tears fall, as Jed conducted the service with such sweetness and sincerity that did nothing at all to help Tamsyn curb the feelings she had for him. And when she saw the tears of joy in Ruan’s eyes as he made his vows, she actually had to grab a tissue from Gloria sitting in the front row and blow her nose, loudly enough for her mother to give her that ‘only you, Tamsyn Thorne’ look.

  When Cordelia sang, unaccompanied, her own version of ‘Amazed’, the whole church was charged with an upswell of emotion that was almost palpable, and Tamsyn thought it q
uite likely that soon the whole of Poldore would be weeping uncontrollably. That was until Buoy lifted his head and decided to join in with a heartfelt howl, turning any threat of tears into gales of fond laughter. With delightful good grace, Cordelia stepped down from where she had been singing and crouched next to Buoy, winding her arms around his neck, as nose to nose they howled the last chorus together in a curious sort of harmony that seemed to work, despite itself.

  Finally, when Jed declared that Ruan and Alex were man and wife, everyone stood up, cheered and applauded, and Tamsyn laughed and hugged her sisters, which was when Brian and his supergroup struck up once again, playing the bride and groom back down the aisle with a cover of ‘Don’t Stop Me Now’, because Queen were Ruan’s favourite band.

  The congregation poured out into the small churchyard, and then onto the street, and there were colours and confetti everywhere, the air fully charged with joy as photos were snapped under a sky that was as warm and benevolent as it had ever been. Tamsyn stood on the church step, a sanguine, bow-less Buoy at her side, content to watch the happiness unfurl around her. Jed had been right: everyone wanted to be happy, to push their cares and worries to one side and have a reason to celebrate, and this was the best reason that she could think of. Jed was annoyingly right about a lot of things, which meant she supposed that she had to believe him when he said that he wasn’t right for her, even if looking at him made her feel so differently.

  ‘Tamsyn, come on!’ Cordelia bellowed at her from a little further up the hill. ‘It’s reception time! No baby to take care of, no dresses to make, finally we can get properly ratted!’

  ‘I’m coming!’ Tamsyn called back, hesitating for a second or two longer before making her way down the path. The old cedar that had failed to withstand the storm had been taken away by tree surgeons the day before, and until now Tamsyn hadn’t had a chance to discover what had become of Merryn’s gravestone. She was relieved to see that it was still there, standing proud, washed clean by someone, shining in its newly sunny spot.

  ‘Well,’ she said, to a stray raven that was sitting uncomfortably on the iron railings, looking as if it was wondering where its tree had gone. ‘Remember when we said we would never come back to this place? Well, I’m back, Merryn. Imagine how much you would laugh at me now if you were here. I’ll always miss you, my darling.’

  The raven squawked and flew off into the sky to find another tree to roost in, and Tamsyn took one last moment to look back out towards the sea, moved by the certainty that anything could be possible if she was prepared to work hard for it, and then made her way towards The Poldore Hall Hotel to celebrate her beloved brother’s wedding and, as her youngest sister put it, get ratted.

  Chapter Twenty-eight

  The twins were demon dancers, and for some reason had decided that it was their Aunty Tamsyn they wanted most to dance with, perhaps because she had been preoccupied for the last few days with someone else’s baby, and finally they had her to themselves, which seemed a less terrible prospect to Tamsyn, especially after she had had four glasses of champagne.

  ‘We want you to twirl around and around and clap your hands,’ Joe instructed her over the noise of the band.

  ‘Don’t be ridiculous, I shall do no such thing,’ Tamsyn said, complying at once, following each extra outlandish dance move with the trademark mixture of defiance and obedience that they enjoyed, and discovering that she was actually quite good at the moonwalk.

  ‘And now hop like a kangaroo,’ Jamie told her.

  ‘Over my dead body,’ Tamsyn said as she did just that.

  Before she knew it, Alex’s very tall ginger friend, Marcus, had swept her into his arms and was whirling her around until both of them were giggling like loons, until she caught the eye of a very tanned woman, in a very small dress, who seemed to be sharpening her talons as she watched them.

  ‘If that’s your wife, I think you should go to her,’ Tamsyn told Marcus breathlessly. ‘I’m too young to die.’

  Chuckling to herself, Tamsyn found her way out of the party and into the cool of the foyer. She smiled as an older lady, a guest at the hotel, came in, accompanied by a cab driver who was carrying her bag for her. She made her way to an open door that led out onto a veranda and breathed in the perfect view. How could she ever have believed that anywhere else in the world could be a better place to be than this place?

  ‘You clocking off now?’ she heard the receptionist ask the cabby.

  ‘No, love, I got a pickup in half an hour, taking the vicar to the train station.’

  Tamsyn turned on her heel and looked at him. He was the same cabby who had brought her here that first night.

  ‘Hello,’ she said. ‘It’s me, do you remember? Back for my brother’s wedding?’

  He blinked at her.

  ‘I had straight hair, and a really great case,’ she prompted him.

  ‘Oh yes, nice to see you,’ he said, a little uncertain as to why she was pestering him.

  ‘That vicar, is that Reverend Hayward, by any chance?’ Tamsyn asked him.

  ‘That’s the feller,’ the cabby said.

  ‘Only he told me to tell you he’s cancelling the cab.’

  ‘Well, he should phone the office. They’ll radio it through,’ he said.

  ‘Yes, but he didn’t. He told me to tell you,’ Tamsyn nodded emphatically. ‘“You tell that taxi driver, I don’t need that cab any more”, he said.’

  ‘But how did he know you’d see me to tell me?’ the cabby persisted.

  ‘I don’t know. Who are you, Sherlock?’ Tamsyn flung her arms wide.

  ‘I’ll be back here to pick him up in thirty minutes,’ the cabby told her, eyeing her warily. ‘Looks like he’s got a good reason to leg it from where I’m standing.’

  ‘What?’ Tamsyn asked the receptionist, who just happened to be the very same one that had seen her spectacular goodbye to Bernard. ‘I’m only trying to help the man! That cab is getting cancelled one way or another.’

  The rectory already looked abandoned, and if it hadn’t been for the light in the upstairs window Tamsyn would have thought that she had somehow missed Jed. She pulled on the rather old-fashioned-looking doorbell, which didn’t seem to ring, and banged on the door a few times too for good measure, but there was no reply. Perhaps he’d snuck a look out of the window. Maybe he knew she was here and was hiding in a wardrobe, hoping she would just go away. Tamsyn paced up and down the hill four or five times while she thought through was she was going to do.

  ‘No, you can’t do that,’ she told herself. ‘That is mental … Yes, but time is running out,’ she answered herself. ‘What if this is your only chance to have what Alex and Ruan have?’ She paced some more. ‘There’s a really big difference between a romantic gesture and the sort of behaviour that results in a restraining order. You’re a role model now; think of Kirsten. Think of Mo, how’s she going to feel, getting to know her adopted aunty from the other side of prison bars.’ She let out a heavy sigh. ‘Oh, sod it, what have I got to lose, apart from all self-worth, dignity and possibly my freedom?’

  And with her mind made up, Tamsyn used some skills she had learnt as a younger woman and broke in through Jed’s back door.

  The downstairs of the house was in darkness and completely quiet. Tamsyn slipped off her shoes and padded across the polished wooden floor to the base of the stairs.

  ‘Hello?’ she called out softly, reasoning that a person who introduced themselves couldn’t possibly be legally accused of intruding. ‘Hello?’

  Well, it was hardly her fault if he didn’t answer her then, was it?

  Tension shot through her chest and shoulders as she crept up the stairs, desperately trying to rationalise exactly what it was that she was doing. What was she doing? What on earth did she hope to achieve by surprising Jed in this way?

  She pushed open the door to his bedroom. The walls now were bare of even the few photos that had been tacked to them and the posters were gone. His desk was clea
red and the bed stripped, and leaning against the wall was a large, military-style backpack. There was a change of clothes neatly folded on the bed. And in that moment, Tamsyn knew why she was behaving like such an out-and-out lunatic.

  Jed could not leave Poldore, the place that had taken him to its heart and made him feel at home, because of her. She wouldn’t let him.

  Walking out into the hallway, she heard the shower running in the bathroom. Taking a breath, Tamsyn knocked on the door. She knocked twice, but there was no response, and then the sound of the water stilled.

  ‘Hello? Is there someone there?’

  ‘It’s me,’ Tamsyn called through the door, ‘Tamsyn. I knocked but there was no answer, and the back door was open. Sort of.’

  ‘Tamsyn? I’m in the shower.’

  ‘I know, I’m sorry. But you’re leaving in, like, fifteen minutes and I … I have to see you. It’s OK, I’ll wait for you to come out of the shower.’

  There was a silence, and then Jed said, ‘I packed my towel.’

  Tamsyn pressed her hands over her mouth and closed her eyes, opening them again quickly when she discovered the image of a glistening, golden, naked vicar waiting behind them.

  ‘I’ll get it for you,’ she called. ‘Is it in your backpack?’

  ‘Yes,’ he answered, his discomfort evident in his tone.

  It only took Tamsyn a few seconds to retrieve the towel.

  ‘Are you …?’

  ‘I’m behind the shower curtain,’ he said. ‘I’m pretty sure it’s not see-through.’

  ‘I once oversaw a photo shoot of twenty male models who were all naked except for their hats,’ Tamsyn told him.

  ‘Are you deliberately trying to make me feel inadequate?’ Jed asked her as she pushed open the door into the steam-filled room.

  ‘No; all I’m saying is that I have seen it all before,’ Tamsyn said, ‘lots of times. That didn’t come out quite how I wanted it to.’

  Jed’s hand appeared from the other side of the shower curtain.

  ‘Give me the towel, please.’