Baby Momma Drama

by Carl Weber

  “Please, Aunt Jasmine, don’t tell Mommy or Derrick. Please!”

  Out of everyone in Derrick’s family, I liked Vicki the most. Probably ’cause she gave me respect when the two of us had traveled together upstate on occasion to visit Derrick in prison. Plus, Vicki had always sent a few dollars from her McDonald’s job to Derrick’s commissary each month, which is more than his own mother ever did. So I was definitely leaning toward not telling her mother. Telling Derrick was a different story. Derrick was my man, and the last thing I wanted to do was lie to him. If I lied to him about this and he found out later, he’d wanna kill me. He was so proud of Vicki, who he thought was still a virgin. She was the first woman in his family not to get pregnant before graduating high school. Derrick was hoping that she might be able to attend college and really make something outta herself.

  I watched Vicki as she sat on the bed and put on her shoes. The guy she was with had bolted as soon as his pants were up from his ankles. That just proved that he wasn’t about shit. How these young girls get hooked up with these half-ass men, I just don’t know.

  “Okay,” I finally told her. “This is what I’m gonna do. I’m not going to say anything to your mother or Derrick. But if Derrick asks me anything, I’m tellin’ the truth.”

  I thought Vicki would go through the ceiling, she jumped so high. She threw her arms around my neck in a grateful hug.

  “Thank you, Aunt Jasmine. Thank you so much!”

  “Give me the condom and the wrapper. The last thing we need is your brother finding a used rubber lying around. Then we’d both be in deep shit.”

  I knelt down to search for the wrapper under the bed, until I realized Vicki had not moved. She just sat there with this dumb-ass, blank stare.

  “Don’t tell me you didn’t use a condom.”

  Her answer was silence.

  “Damn, Vicki! What the fuck is wrong with you?” I spent the next half hour trying to explain the importance of birth control and disease prevention. I’m not sure if it did any good, but at least it made me feel a little useful. Not to mention the fact that it gave me a chance to be away from Derrick’s pain-in-the-ass mother.

  When I finally got back to the party, things had thinned out a bit. Derrick’s mother and his older relatives had left with most of the food from the dining room, which really wasn’t a problem for me. I didn’t want to clean up all that shit anyway. Besides, I had much bigger problems than Derrick’s family. Right in front of my eyes, standing in my living room, drinking my liquor, talking to my man, was Wendy. I ain’t gonna lie. I was about to kick that bitch’s ass. Derrick must’ve seen the look in my eye. He hauled ass over to me and dragged me into the kitchen.

  “What’s that bitch doing in my house, Derrick? I want that bitch out my house!”

  “Look, baby. I know you don’t like Wendy, but my mom asked her to come over. Besides, she ain’t hurtin’ nobody. Why you gotta be so paranoid? Stop trippin’.”

  “Your mother ain’t even here! Get that bitch out my housel”

  Derrick raised an eyebrow. I hated when he did that, because it usually meant he was about to give me an ultimatum.

  “Okay. Ah’ight, check this out. If Wendy has to leave, I’m leaving, too.”

  He looked at me like I should care. I did, but I sure as hell didn’t intend to show it. He could leave with her if he wanted. I’ll tell you what, though, that bitch Wendy was not about to leave my house with my man without an ass-whipping.

  “Well, then, get to steppin’,” I challenged.

  “Ah’ight.” He grabbed my hand and dragged me into the living room, where he pulled the plug on the DJ’s equipment.

  “Excuse me, everybody. The party’s over.”

  “Yo! Dee, man. What up with that? I just got here!” a man said from the crowd.

  “Yeah, it ain’t even eleven o’clock!” another angry voice called out.

  “Look, y’all, I wanna party just as much as you. But my old lady doesn’t like the company I keep. She wants me to kick a few of y’all outta here. But y‘all my peeps, so I told her if my peeps gotta go, so do I. So since the party was for me and I’m leavin’, the party’s over.”

  I had never been so embarrassed in my entire life. The last thing I expected was for Derrick to do something like this. All I wanted was for him to stop disrespectin’ me with his baby’s bitch-ass momma, and he had blown the whole thing out of proportion. Every eye in that room was on me and there was no escape, ’cause Derrick had his hand on my arm in a vise grip.

  “Cut it out, Derrick. Can’t you see you’re embarrassing me?” I was talking through clenched teeth.

  “This is what you want, ain’t it, baby?” he whispered.

  “Of course not. I just want that bitch out of my house.”

  “Well she’s out, and so am I. For good. Either you trust me or you don’t. I’m not gonna play these games with you, Jazz.”

  His tone was dead serious, and I was scared. The last thing I wanted him to do was walk out of my life right after I’d finally gotten him back. Reluctantly I decided to put my own pride aside and keep my man. Big Momma always told me to keep your friends close and your enemies closer, so I was about to take her advice.

  “Don’t do this, Derrick. She can stay.” I was about to cry.

  “You sure?” He wrapped his arms around me when I nodded. “Now, that’s my girl.”

  “Hey, y’all. I was just playin’,”he laughed. “The party’s still on. My lady loves all my peeps. Don’t you, boo?”

  I nodded weakly, but it wasn’t like any of these triflin’ folks even cared what I thought of them. When Derrick said the party was back on, they just plugged the DJ back in and went back to partying. I pushed Derrick away and walked to the bar, pouring a straight glass of something brown. I tilted my head back and let the liquid slide down my throat, burning so much I almost gagged. I didn’t give a fuck, though. I just wanted to get drunk as fast as I could. This whole damn night had been enough to damn near drive me crazy. And for the first time this week, I missed Dylan. I missed him a lot.

  “Wake up, Derrick wants you outside.”

  It was almost midnight when Malcolm, one of Derrick’s teenaged drug-dealing friends, woke me from my drunken nap on the sofa. It took me a while to come to my senses, but after a few seconds I realized where I was at. There were still plenty of people in the house and the music was blasting, but everyone seemed to be congregating at the front door.

  “Derrick wants you outside.” Malcolm repeated.

  “For what?” I rubbed my eyes as I tried to stand. I was still drunk and my knees gave out, so I plopped back down on the sofa. “What’s everybody doing at my front door? Y’all better not have the police at my house.” I gathered my strength, got up from the sofa, and pushed my way through the crowd. What I saw at the other end of the door made me scream. Dylan was on the ground, being held down by three of Derrick’s friends. He was barely moving, and blood was coming from his nose and mouth. Derrick was standing over him with his foot on Dylan’s throat. He looked like he was gonna kill him.

  “Jasmine ... help ... me. Get him ... off me.” I could barely hear him between gasps for breath.

  “Stop it, Derrick!” I shouted.

  Derrick turned to me and glared. “You know this nigga?”

  My eyes roamed to Dylan, then back to Derrick. I didn’t say a word. I was afraid of what Derrick might do if he didn’t like my answer. I didn’t want to see Dylan hurt even more than he was. I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself.

  “I asked you a question, Jasmine,” Derrick repeated. “Do you know him?”

  I tried to avoid his glaring eyes, but eventually we made eye contact. And during that split second, I’m sure he could read my mind. His eyes became small and he pushed down on Dylan’s throat. I was frozen with terror. He knew about me and Dylan; that much looked certain. Thank God Sabrina was there to save Dylan—and rescue me.

  “Yeah, she knows him.” She shoved her
way to the front of the crowd. “He’s my boyfriend. Now get the fuck off him unless you plan on going back upstate.”

  Then she did exactly what I wish I could have done. She shoved Derrick out of the way and bent down to help Dylan.

  “Get away from him!” she yelled at Derrick’s friends. I still hadn’t moved. I’m not sure if it was shock or alcohol, but I was stuck in my place.

  “Dylan, are you all right? They’re not gonna bother you anymore, baby.” Sabrina cradled his head, and I felt a twinge of jealousy. That should have been me helping him, holding him. “I hope you’re fucking proud of yourself, asshole. You must really like it upstate. I hope they put your fucking ass under the jail for this!” she yelled at Derrick.

  “That nigga was tryin’ to break into my car,” Derrick replied defensively, like that made what he did right.

  “Oh, yeah? What was he trying to do, break the glass with roses?” Sabrina grabbed a handful of flowers off the ground and threw them at Derrick. Then she turned her eyes on me, but I couldn’t make eye contact.

  “Yo, Jasmine. You need to keep your man in check or he’s gonna end up back in jail.” She sucked her teeth at me, then turned back to Dylan. I cringed as I watched her murmuring to him, stroking his hair. I wanted to strangle her when she kissed him, even if it was only for Derrick’s benefit. That’s when I knew I was in love with Dylan. Damn, was I in a bad situation.

  27

  Stephanie

  “Young lady, that was a beautiful poem you read. I don’t think I’ve ever heard ‘Phenomenal Woman’ read so well,” Reverend Clarke complimented between bites of his fried chicken. We’d just returned from Nona’s funeral. I was trying to find Maleka so that I could get home to Travis when the preacher pulled me aside.

  “Thank you, Reverend. It was one of Nana’s favorites, so I thought it would be appropriate.”

  “And it was. It really was,” the preacher praised, then finished off the last of his chicken wing. “You know, we could use an orator like you in our church. Have you ever thought about going into the ministry? What church do you belong to?”

  “Ah, well ... I guess you could say I’m a member of Mount Olive Baptist—”

  He cut me off. “What do you mean, you guess?” He looked at me with concern and I tried to avoid eye contact. The last thing I wanted to do was tell that man I hadn’t been to church since last Easter. Luckily, Miss Janet rescued me.

  “Excuse me, Reverend,” she huffed, pulling on Maleka’s hand. “Stephanie, have you seen Malek?”

  “No, ma’am. Not since we left the cemetery.”

  “Well, will you go find him for me?”

  “Do I have to, Miss Janet?” I whined. “You know me and Malek don’t get along.”

  “I know that, Stephanie. But I got over forty people in this house. And I’m doin’ everything from meeting and greeting to servin’ the food. I ain’t got time to go lookin’ for that boy, and everyone in here’s been askin’ about him. Please do me this favor. All I want you to do is go find him and tell him I manna see him. That’s not too much to ask, is it?” she sighed.

  “No, ma’am.” I replied weakly, and said good-bye to the preacher. I was happy to get away from him, but I really didn’t wanna go find Malek. I’d been avoiding him as best I could all day. After everything that happened with the VD, he was the last person I wanted to be around. Like Mary J. said, I don’t need no more drama in my life, and it seemed like every time I got near Malek, it followed me.

  After I searched the first floor, I headed for Malek’s room in the basement. As soon as I opened the door, I was practically knocked over by a cloud of smoke. It smelled like someone was smoking a pound of weed down there.

  “Malek,” I called. He didn’t answer, so I walked down the stairs. I found him sitting on his bed, smoking a blunt. He’d loosened his tie, but he was still wearing his suit.

  “Your mother wants you. There’s a lot of people upstairs who wanna give their condolences.” He nodded his head and went right back to smoking his weed. I turned to walk back upstairs before I got high from all the smoke.

  “Yo, Shorty. Lemme ask you a question.” I stopped and turned my head. “You think Nana’s in heaven?”

  I smiled, stepping down from the stairs. “Yeah, Malek. I think she’s in heaven.”

  “I sure hope so. If anyone deserves to be in heaven, Nana does.” His eyes had tears in them, and that surprised me. I couldn’t ever remember seeing Malek cry before.

  “I miss her, Shorty. I miss her so much.”

  “So do I, Malek. So do I.” I sat on the bed next to him. I wrapped my arm around his shoulder and we cried together. The two of us had a good cry for a few minutes before he finally lightened the mood.

  “She looked good in that casket, didn’t she?”

  “She sure did.” I smiled and wiped away my tears. “She looked like her old self.”

  Malek reached over and picked up the blunt from the ashtray. I watched him light it, then suck on it gently. When he finished, he gestured for me to take it. At first I hesitated. When I came downstairs, I had intended on giving Malek Miss Janet’s message and getting the hell away from him. Now here I was, all sentimental about Nana, sitting with Malek on his bed, about to smoke a blunt. I knew I was in dangerous waters once again, but Malek really looked like he needed some comforting. I took the blunt from him and inhaled deeply. Besides, I figured nothing could happen with all them folks upstairs, anyway.

  “You know, Shorty, you was lookin’ mighty good today. I like it when you wear dresses.” He reached up and removed his tie completely.

  “Thanks.” I smiled as I exhaled. My eyes roamed up and down his body. “You looked pretty good in that suit.”

  I took another hit, then passed the blunt. I sighed as I watched him wrap his lips around the brown cigar paper and suck on it. An image of him sucking my breast popped into my mind, and I could feel myself getting moist. What the hell was it about this man that made me want him so bad? When he finished smoking, he handed me the blunt. I inhaled the weed for the third time, finally starting to feel its effects. Malek reached behind me and began to massage my shoulder. I thought about stopping him, but his hands felt so good around my neck and shoulders. He leaned over and blew in my ear.

  “Stop it, Malek. You’re gonna get my panties all wet.” I turned my head and that made things worse because he started kissing my neck. Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore and I whispered, “You got any condoms?”

  “Yeah,” he nodded excitedly. “I got condoms in here.”

  He reached over to his night table drawer and pulled out an open three-pack of condoms. I took the box out of his hands and smiled.

  “Come on.” I stood up and headed for the stairs.

  “Where we goin’? To the motel?” He followed me eagerly.

  “No. I told you before, your mother wants you. There are people upstairs who wanna see you.”

  “But I thought we were gonna get busy.” He raised his eyebrows. “You said I was making you wet.”

  “I am wet. And extremely horny,” I told him honestly.

  “Then where you going? The hell with Momma. She can handle them old farts upstairs. I’m horny, too. Look at this.”

  He reached down and grabbed himself, grinning. I made sure I was halfway up the stairs before I responded to him.

  “Just because I’m horny doesn’t mean I’m gonna sleep with you, Malek.”

  “Then why’d you ask me for the condoms?”

  “Me and Travis ran out last night. And after smoking that blunt, I’m so horny I can’t wait to go home and fuck his brains out.”

  “What? I don’t believe this shit!” Malek yelled. “Now that’s some real foul shit, Shorty! Some real foul shit!”

  “No, Malek. You wanna know what’s foul? Foul is getting gonorrhea from someone you care about. Foul is getting accused of giving it to someone who knows they gave it to you. Foul is not even getting an apology from the person who gave it
to you. Now that’s foul, Malek. So if you think it’s foul that I won’t sleep with you, then good. That’s exactly what I was trying to get in that thick-ass skull of yours. After what you did to me, you will never put your dick in me again. And I mean never.” He looked away from me and I walked up the stairs to find my daughter and go home to my man.

  I wasn’t in the house more than five minutes before I was all over Travis. The second I saw him I wrapped my arms around his neck and tongued him down. I can’t ever remember being that horny in my entire life. If my daughter hadn’t walked in on us, we probably would have ended up doing the nasty right there on the family room floor.

  “Mommy, can I have some ice cream?”

  “Travis,” I purred seductively, “do me a favor and give Maleka some ice cream and put her to bed. I’m gonna go upstairs and get into something a little more comfortable.” I kissed him as I whispered. “I want you, baby. I want you real bad.”

  “I don’t know what’s gotten into you,” he whispered back. “But that sounds like a plan to me. Come on, Maleka.” He headed for the kitchen.

  “Hey,” I called, “don’t take too long or I might get started without you.”

  He laughed. “You can be such a freak. You know that?”

  “That’s why you’re marrying me, isn’t it?” I blew him a kiss and headed for the stairs, thinking naughty thoughts.

  When I got to my room, I immediately stripped off all my clothes and slipped into a sheer white Victoria’s Secret teddy. I was about to lie on the bed and wait for Travis when the phone rang.

  “Hello?”

  “Dammmmn, I never expected you to answer the phone.” Every muscle in my body tensed up when I heard Malek’s voice. “I figured you’d be getting your groove on by now.”

  I inhaled deeply and tried to keep my composure. I knew I had to get Malek off the line as quickly as possible before Travis walked in the room. If he even thought I was talking to Malek, he’d have a fit. As horny as I was, I did not want to be fighting with Travis tonight.