The Summer I Loved You

by J. L. Lora

  He stepped back at the top so she could open the door for him. Her place was in darkness since they’d left while it was light out. She moved around quickly, turning on the lights, and he followed all the way to Bron’s room. He placed her in the bed and removed her shoes while Adri worked on taking off her zip-up jacket. She also took off the tie from her hair and massaged her fingers into their daughter’s head. Bron sighed and turned into her pillow, her knees coming up until she was almost in a ball.

  It made Cam smile. She was asleep and unscathed and unaware of the tears that’d dropped close to her on the bed. His heart shriveled at the soft shake in Adri’s shoulders and the almost careless way she swiped the wetness away from her eyes. He put a hand on her shoulder, wanting to tell her it was all over. She shook her head, pressed a kiss to Bron’s forehead and sprang from the bed. She pulled the covers over their little girl, lingered for a few seconds, then put her jacket and shoes in the closet.

  She left the room and went into her bedroom, pulling out her nightgown.

  “Talk to me, Adri,” he asked.

  “I can’t. Not now. I’m going to sleep with her tonight.”

  His stomach iced, sending a chill through his body. He shook it off. It was only normal. She’d gone through a big scare. She needed to be close to Bron. But why did it feel like a lot more than that? There was so much emotion for Bron but she’d barely looked at him since it was all over. Maybe she was blaming him for this. God knows he blamed himself for not giving Walter the money and preventing them from going through this.

  “Look, I know this was my fault and I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you and just gave the money—”

  She held up a hand. “No, you were right about not giving the money. He would’ve never left you alone. My situation would have always been leverage. I was wrong and you were right about that.”

  He should have been relieved but there was something, a finality to her words, a fucking “but” that didn’t gel. It made his skin antsy.

  “Then what is it, Adrianna? Why does it feel like there is so much more you’re not saying? You won’t even look at me.” His voice was harsh to his own ears, matching his mood and uncertainty.

  She flinched and turned sad eyes on him. “Because there is. This wasn’t about Walter. He has an amazing ability to capitalize when we fuck up. And that’s because we always fuck up. And it’s always mostly my fault. You’ve only been a dad for less than a month. I’ve been a mother for almost ten years. I shouldn’t lose sight of what’s important. I shouldn’t react first and think second. I shouldn’t be acting like a fucking hormonal teenager who can afford to have outbursts and stomp out of the room after a fight with my boyfriend.”

  He opened his mouth, sensing where she was going but she plowed on.

  “But I do. Because it’s you. Because I always lose my senses around you. Because I’m so crazy in love with you and that’s getting in the way of me being a responsible mom. A month ago, all I had was her and I feel like now I’m losing sight of that.”

  He staggered back. “What the fuck are you saying?”

  She pressed her lips together. “I can’t do this with you. I’m not going to make another big mistake that messes up her life because we can’t control our anger or jealousy. It’s not healthy. She’s the most important person in my life and I can’t risk her. Not even for you.”

  His vision blackened, like the time he’d taken a ball to the head during an inter-league game. The floor seemed to go out from under him. She was breaking up with him. Because she blames you. She just didn’t want to say it.

  Rage and heat sprang up his body. He opened his mouth, intending to tell her to have the guts to accuse him to his face. That she should just acknowledge it and they could begin to work through it. But one look at her and it all suddenly died inside him: the anger, the venom, the hurt.

  Her hunched shoulders and tear-stricken face sent ripples of pain through his body. He couldn’t add to it. When they were mad, they could get nuclear, like she said, and he wasn’t going to do that to her.

  Not today, not after what we’ve been through. Walk away Cam.

  He swallowed and breathed. “You know what? It’s been a long day and it’s not the right time to make decisions.” She started to protest but this time he held a hand up. “No, you go shower and snuggle up with her. Just concentrate on her and getting some rest. We’ll talk at another time. Maybe when she’s in school tomorrow.”

  “She’s not going to school tomorrow.” Her chin went up and the finality was back in her voice. There would be no arguing with her.

  “Fine. She’s probably been through too much. We need to talk to her about what happened anyway. And make an appointment with Doctor Perkins.”

  She nodded and paused but then turned around and went into the bathroom, shutting the door.

  Cam headed to the living room. He needed to blow off some steam or he was going to punch a wall. He dropped himself on the couch and pressed his fists to his knees. He sat there, going over her words and waited until she came out of the bathroom. She didn’t come to the living room, heading straight to Bron’s room.

  He jumped to his feet and pushed away the annoyance that simmered through his body. He needed a drink and a little distance.

  He headed downstairs. Lauren was placing a table cloth on a table with Chase hovering over her. His face was too close to hers as he placed the center piece.

  “Are you going to help me or get in my way for the rest of the night? I’m trying to go home and sleep. We open tomorrow.” Her voice carried a frost that clashed with the half smile on her lips.

  “Well, I—” Cam cleared his throat.

  Chase turned around to face him. “What are you doing here?”

  “I need a drink.”

  Lauren scoffed. “Don’t we all?”

  “I think Adrianna is trying to break up with me.”

  Chase frowned. “Why?”

  Cam wanted to laugh at the incredulous expressions of both of them. “She thinks we distract each other and her attention is not on Bron…”

  They stared at him in silence until Lauren moved to the little bar area and came back with three beers. She handed them one each and shot Cam a defiant look. “Well, are you going to let her push you away?”

  He didn’t have to think about the answer. He wasn’t going to pretend that he would think about it and give her all the time in the world to change her mind. Because there was only one thing he could say to this.

  “Fuck no.”

  He’d been too long without her and Bron. They were a family and they were going to stay that way. He just needed to convince her, and the only way he could do that was to prove to her that he could stay in control. He wasn’t losing faith in them and he wouldn’t let his anger or her doubts rob them of their family.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

  “Have you given any thought to what you want to do for Bron’s birthday?”

  Adrianna shook her head like her mother could see her. It really wasn’t a good time for a chat. She was exhausted mentally, physically, in her soul. She hadn’t slept much in the last week, afraid even as she held her daughter, to lose her. And the fight with Cam, if you could call their silent war a fight, didn’t help at all.

  “No. Honestly, I haven’t thought about it. So much has happened lately…”

  “It’s okay, hon. I understand. It’s just you always know what you want to do as early as January. Are you sure you are okay?”

  Adrianna let her head hang back and stared at her office ceiling. She hated not being on top of her game and this dancing around subjects. “I’m okay, Mom,” she repeated for the fourth time in the span of fifteen minutes.

  “I’m sorry I keep asking but you don’t sound well, mi hija.” Her mom was breaking out all the nicknames, which meant she was really worried about her.

  I need to put her mind at ease.

  “Well, I’m scared as he
ll that someone may take my baby from me and though I’ve explained that like a thousand times, some people can’t even give me a few days to have her home and work through my fears.”

  Adrianna swallowed the groan. She’d failed again. She was trying to tease, and instead came off angry and bitter. Which is the way she felt since this morning when Cam strolled into Bron’s bedroom and ordered their daughter to get ready for school.

  “Cam was right on taking her to school, Adri. It’s time she went back.”

  She shook her head. “It’s too soon. I needed more time.”

  “But Bron doesn’t. It’s been a week, cariño. She can’t miss that much school or she’ll fall behind. She was already absent when you all went to New York.”

  The rational words pricked her skin. “It’s not like she wasn’t doing anything. I was helping her through her lessons and she was doing her reading.”

  Where I could see her, touch her, make sure she was safe.

  “You’re a lot of things I’m proud of, mi amor. You’re a good woman, a tremendous professional, an amazing mom but you are not a teacher. You can’t keep Bron indoors all her life because you’re afraid.”

  “I know.”

  In her head she did, but explaining it to the heart that trembled at the idea of being apart from her baby was harder, if not impossible. The minute Bron and Cam walked out of the door, her windpipes had begun to close and she’d had to force herself to breathe. She was alone and anxious and she had to get out of the upstairs apartment. Especially after the panic set in when he didn’t come home after. Only his text saying that he’d gone somewhere with Chase, let the breath return to her body.

  “Adri, you can’t protect her from everything. All you can do is prepare her. I tried to shelter you from the ugliness that was your father and me, and you ended up carrying my cross with me…” Her mother’s voice broke. Adrianna had only seen her mother cry twice in her life. The day she’d told her about Fausto and the abuse, and the day Bronwyn was born.

  Her mother cleared her throat. “Hasn’t Walter robbed you of enough? Are you going to let him take away the man that you love and force you to raise your daughter in fear? Like I raised you.” Her voice dropped in the end.

  “Mom, you were the best mother I could ever want. You taught me how to be strong, even if I don’t seem like it right now. It’s just…”

  The ringing of the school bell echoed through the phone line. “Drat, I have to go. We have an assembly, but I’ll call you later. Adri, promise you’ll think about it?”

  “I will. Love you, Mom.”

  “I love you too. Kiss La Princesa for me. I’m taking a day off and coming for her birthday next week. We’ll figure out what to do for her.”

  Adrianna hung up the phone and released a long breath. Her mother was right. Cam was right. Everyone was right but she couldn’t help the way she felt. And it was affecting everything. She hadn’t been out of the building since they came home from Acacia and Bron only got out today because Cam had had enough.

  She knows how jumpy and scared you are. She wants to go outside but doesn’t dare ask because she doesn’t want to upset you, Adri. I’m trying to be sensitive and supportive, but we can’t do that to her. She’s a kid.

  Cam had said it in a calm manner but there was a tinge of frustration. The past few days he’d been so patient, unlike any version of him. He’d tried to talk to her but when she’d shut him down, he had not blown up sky high. He’d even asked her to come with him this morning. She couldn’t.

  She would’ve never let Bron out of the car and into the school.

  It was all so stupid. Walter was in jail. The District Attorney had spoken to them and said he’d pled guilty for a lesser sentence. He and his lawyer had asked for the laptop and shortly after called to agree to a deal.

  He’s looking at ten years. Seven, if he agrees to go into rehab.

  Cam had been expressionless and had left the house with Chase after. He hadn’t returned until later that evening. She’d asked if he wanted to talk but he’d shaken his head, told her he was tired, and gone to bed. She slept with Bron like she had been doing for the past weeks instead of comforting him like she knew he needed.

  A pair of heels click-clicked their way up the stairs. Lauren appeared at the door in a baggy jumpsuit with tapered legs. In her hands, lidded cups of coffee. She set one down for Adri and took the chair across from her.

  “Your eyes look super small, which means you’re tired but everything else is flawless,” Adri said to her friend.

  “You know drama always makes me put in the extra effort.”

  Adri chuckled. “Oh? Drama?”

  Lauren shrugged. “I didn’t want to tell you before because you’ve been going through stuff…but it’s time we all get back to normal. And that includes our girl cuddling. I’m glad you got your ass out of the apartment. I can handle the bistro but ain’t nobody got time for these fucking ledger books.”

  Adrianna laughed. It’s what she loved about her best friend. She never beat around the bush. “Thank you for that. Now, tell me about your drama.”

  If she dealt with Lauren’s she could put off her own. Plus, it would distract her from worrying about Bron.

  “I went to dinner with Elias in the evening but spent the rest of the night with Chase.”

  Adri’s mouth dropped. “Okay…this is better than what I imagined.”

  Lauren pushed her open palm in front of her. “Not like that. He dropped off Cam last night and called me. He sounded funny, so I went out to meet him in Fells Point. We walked all night, went to the Sagamore for drinks and chatted at the pool lounge. He was upset about his father. He said Walter will be doing ten years.”

  “He pled guilty.”

  “Yeah, we talked about that. He was conflicted. I felt so bad about it. Like I needed to do more.”

  Adri narrowed her eyes but then smiled. “And how did you comfort him?”

  “Not the way you think, Adrianna. God, you need to make up with Cam so you can put that filthy mind to use.”

  Her mind conjured images of that morning before it all went to hell, when she had used her mind, mouth, and body to good use on him. Her heart squeezed so tight. “Lauren, don’t start…”

  “Chase told me they’re all having a really hard time dealing with this. Lux is coming down this weekend and their mother is beside herself.”

  A rush of guilt filled her chest and Adri pressed her fingers in small circles around it. “Cam said his mother tends to go nuclear when she doesn’t get her way. She’s all about appearances so I can’t imagine what she’s doing with all the media surrounding this.”

  “Thank God those vultures are not showing up here.”

  She frowned. “I guess I didn’t think about that.”

  Lauren’s gaze softened. “You’ve been having a hard time. Cam granted interviews and his publicist has been dealing with the media. You know that whole privacy in these difficult moments thing. Plus, we’ve been watching out for reporters. But he needs you.”

  “Why do you say that?” she asked.

  Lauren shrugged. “Chase says what’s stressing him the most is that he doesn’t have you. That he feels like he’s losing you.”

  Cam was handling things on his own. Bron was walking on eggshells not to upset her. She’d really fucked up this time. She needed to fix it soon.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

  Cam maneuvered Adrianna’s SUV into Canton Square. Beside him in the passenger seat, Bron pointed across the street. “There’s Mom. She’s waiting for us.”

  Cam didn’t have to look at his daughter to know she was smiling. His gaze was already in the direction where she pointed. Adrianna was beautiful in her skinny jeans and flower blouse. Her hair in that bun was sexy as hell. But even from across the square, Cam noticed the wringing of her hands and the strain on her face.

  How would he ever undo the damage Walter had done?

 
His lawyers assured them that, without the recording, they had no legal worries. But it was the emotional wounds his father inflicted that failed to heal.

  He circled the square and forced himself to keep his eyes on the road and not on her. “She’s going to be so happy to see you. Remember to tell her how much you missed her.”

  “I will. I can’t wait to give her the flowers we got her.”

  Cam smiled, his gaze drifting to the rear view, which reflected the enormous arrangement he and Bron picked out after school. “Your mom was really brave today. I hope she likes them.”

  “She will. And she’ll probably cry.” Bron placed her hand on his arm. “Daddy, you’re going to ask her about my birthday, right?”

  He could have chuckled. It had only been five minutes since he’d last reassured her. “I will and I’m going to keep my promise.”

  “And you’ll convince her, right?”

  Jesus, don’t promise her that. Adrianna was going to freak and probably kick him and all his shit out on the street. He put the car on park and glanced into his daughter’s angel eyes. As always, his common sense and other thoughts vanished.

  “I’ll convince her.”

  You’re so fucked, Cameron. His time was running out.

  He’d managed to stall Adrianna from talking about going their separate ways by telling her they both needed time and shouldn’t make decisions in haste. He’d also used Dr. Perkins’ words about not disturbing Bron’s world any more than it already had been. He wasn’t sorry. He would do whatever it took to stay by their side.

  He’d stayed out with Chase all day because he didn’t want to face her after he’d put his foot down on Bron going back to school. Now he was about to push her buttons even more by asking, no, telling her, that their daughter wanted to celebrate her birthday in a very public place full of people. It made him want to drive away again.

  He sighed, got out of the car and walked around to let Bron out. He grabbed the flowers from the backseat. His little girl had already skipped her way to her mother.