Cash (The Rock Creek Six Book 6)

by Linda Winstead Jones

  Angelo was heavy, solid and warm and utterly trusting. Nate knew Cash would never drop his kid, but how did the baby know? What made him trust so easily? Hefted there at Cash’s shoulder, Angelo grabbed Cash’s ear and tugged gently, gurgling all the while.

  Cash’s heart constricted. Who would his baby trust? Would it be a boy or girl? Hair on the head or bald? Fat-faced or wrinkled? God in heaven, he wanted to know. And he wanted to hold his own child just like this.

  He wanted to marry Nadine, tell JD he was his real father, and be there to raise the baby Nadine carried beneath her heart. For the first time in years, Cash wished he were someone else.

  “If you continue to tug on my ear,” he said coolly, “I will have to call you out.” The baby continued to tug. “I see you have no more sense than your father. Did you inherit no good qualities from your mother? Except for her poor choice of husband, she’s always seemed to be a fine woman.”

  Angelo stuck out his tongue and blew bubbles and drool. A disgustingly large glob of the drool landed on Cash’s shoulder. It seemed to be the baby’s only available method of revenge.

  “Sorry,” Cash said softly. “I should know better than to insult a man’s mother. I’m sure she knew exactly what she was doing when she married Nate.”

  Jo had married Nate because she loved him. Was that love enough? For them, apparently so. For him... it couldn’t be that simple.

  Could it?

  He searched the crowd and found Nadine easily. She looked every bit as miserable as he felt. Like it or not, his life wasn’t that simple. What he wanted, what she wanted, wasn’t strong enough to make up for what he’d done. But he wished more than anything that fourteen years ago he’d stepped out of that alley, shown himself, and carried Nadine away.

  Wishing was a waste of time.

  Nate came back to reclaim his child. “See?” the preacher said as he swung his son into his arms again. “Not so bad, was it?”

  “I dropped him twice,” Cash said without a smile. “You just can’t see because I brushed off the dirt.” He grimaced at the wet spot on his shoulder. “Disgusting,” he muttered.

  Nate smiled. “Hell, Cash, I was watching you the whole time. What did you two talk about?”

  “The weather.”

  Nate swung his son about easily. “I want to talk to you before you leave,” he said, his expression turning serious. “Come by the church tonight.”

  “Sure,” Cash said. “I’ll stop by on my way out of town.”

  They both knew he was lying.

  * * *

  Music had been playing on the street for some time now as two fine guitarists from a nearby ranch played waltzes and lively Spanish tunes. Nadine had danced with several cowboys, Jed and the sheriff, and a fumble-footed shopkeeper. She caught Cash watching more than once, but he never asked her to dance.

  The sun was going down, and soon they would begin their last night together. It broke her heart all over again.

  Feeling brave, she walked past partygoers and made her way to Cash on her own. If he was going to reject her, he would have to reject her to her face. He was talking with the teacher, and their conversation centered around plans for the new school.

  Nadine tapped Cash on the shoulder. He turned his head and looked down at her, almost as if he were surprised to see her standing there.

  “Dance with me,” she said quietly.

  “I don’t...”

  She took his hand and dragged him away from a grinning Reese. “Don’t tell me you don’t dance,” she said. “I won’t believe you.”

  She stopped in the center of the area that had been set aside for dancing, and tilted her head back to look at Cash as he took her in his arms. A waltz began, an unexpectedly beautiful tune performed by the two guitarists. She had never heard anything like it.

  Cash danced beautifully. They moved together in their own rhythm, so accustomed to each other, the dance came to them second nature. Nights spent making love, touching and caressing, had attuned their bodies in a special way. She knew the strength of his arms and he knew the curve of her hip. They moved to the music the way they made love, without a single misstep.

  “I knew you could dance,” she said.

  “I wasn’t going to say I don’t dance,” he said nonchalantly. “I was going to say I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

  “Why not?”

  His eyes were dark and serious, the tension in the length of his body there for her to see and feel. “Too many people already know about us.”

  “I’m tired of keeping secrets,” she whispered as he swung her around.

  Cash apparently was not. He was accustomed to living with secrets; he was used to living his life alone. Solitary. No one to worry about but himself.

  “I’ve been thinking about the baby,” he said.

  “So have I.”

  He ignored her. “When the times comes, you can tell everyone that the father is someone from Marianna. Tell them he died, so there will be no reason for anyone to track him down with the news.”

  She gathered all her strength to argue with him. “I plan to tell everyone this is your child.”

  Cash paled. “You will not,” he insisted.

  “And I’m going to tell JD that he’s your son.”

  “I forbid it,” he said.

  “Well, you won’t be here to stop me, will you?” she said angrily.

  Cash stopped dancing and dragged her off the makeshift dance floor. Walking faster than was comfortable for her shorter legs, he hauled her down the boardwalk and into an alley far away from the prying eyes of the crowd. He had made love to her here once. He had taken her against the wall at her back.

  Right now he was not thinking of that night, or love, or how they came together. He was so angry. His eyes had gone midnight-black, a muscle in his jaw twitched. “If you let the world know that JD and this baby are mine, they will be in danger and so will you.”

  “Then stay here and protect us,” she whispered.

  He shook his head. “If I thought I could, I would. But—”

  “What are you so afraid of?” she interrupted. “Are you really afraid of putting us in danger? Or are you scared that loving us will change your life?”

  “Both,” he admitted readily. “I’m a selfish bastard, Nadine. I won’t change my life for anyone. I could try, but I’d fail miserably.”

  “I don’t think so.” She took his face in her hands. “A selfish man doesn’t take the time to guide his son onto the right path. He doesn’t turn his favorite place in the world into a clinic. He doesn’t hide from what he wants for himself in order to protect a child. And I know you want me, you can’t tell me that’s not true.”

  Cash took a deep breath and rested his forehead against hers. “All right, dammit, I’ll admit it. I want to stay here. I want to marry you and hold that baby and watch it grow and tell JD that I’m his father. Does that make you happy?”

  “Yes.”

  “Well, it doesn’t make me happy. You don’t know what my life is like, Nadine. You think we can wash away the last fourteen years like they never happened, but it won’t work. Too much has happened, and there are some parts of my life that I can’t... shake off. I can’t start over, it’s too damn late. Promise me you won’t tell anyone that baby is mine.”

  “I can’t do that,” she whispered. “I love you too much to deny your child.”

  “You don’t want to be a part of my life. I’ve done things, Nadine,” he said darkly, trying to be cold, trying to scare her. “Terrible things that keep me up at night.”

  “I know,” she whispered.

  “You don’t know,” he insisted through clenched teeth.

  “I know,” she said again, so softly her words were no more than a breath of air.

  Cash closed his eyes and groaned. One hand raked roughly through her hair, while the other reached down to grasp her hip and pull her tightly against him. “It will never work,” he whispered. “No matter how much I wa
nt it to, this will never work.”

  “We can make it work,” Nadine said confidently.

  “Why are you doing this to me now? You know I won’t leave you here to fend for yourself, dammit, not if you insist on being so foolish as to tell the world that JD is my child, that the baby you carry is mine.”

  “I insist.”

  Cash didn’t stalk away from her, release his hold, or curse at her. She expected any one of those reactions, but no matter what he said or did, she would not back down. She loved him. She would not deny that any longer.

  Cash placed his mouth close to hers. It seemed that he held his breath, that he waited for the sun to set and night to begin to fall, with gray shadows and a softening of the sky. The night was theirs. They had made it theirs.

  “You ask for too much.”

  “I know.”

  He took a deep breath, brushed a steady finger down her cheek. “All I want is for you and JD to be safe and happy. To be protected from the mess I’ve made of my life.”

  “I don’t need to be protected from you, Cash,” she insisted. “I love you. Please, please don’t go.”

  They stood there for what seemed like a long time. Silent, barely touching. Nadine was caught up in the way Cash leaned into her, in the scent of his body close to hers, in the strength he had relied on for so long and the love he tried to deny.

  His breath caught in his throat. “Marry me,” he whispered.

  Nadine smiled and raked her lips against his. “Yes.”

  “Good God, what am I doing,” Cash said, lifting her off her feet. “Have I actually let you make an honest man out of me?”

  “I certainly hope so.”

  He kissed her, deep and desperate. He held her tight and made silent promises with his mouth. He did love her; he would not leave her.

  “It won’t be easy,” he said as he placed her on her feet.

  “Truly worthwhile things rarely are,” she answered.

  Cash kissed her again, he very gently touched the side of her breast, and as he lowered his mouth to her neck he whispered in a voice so low and dark she almost didn’t hear, “I love you, Nadine. Dammit, I didn’t know I could ever love anyone so much.”

  Her heart felt so light, she was sure it would fly out of her body.

  * * *

  JD made his way into the nearest vacant building, trying to catch his breath. He’d gone looking for his mother to tell her about the football game and the way he’d scored, and he’d found her. He’d found her in an alley with Daniel Cash!

  Cash had his hands all over her, and they’d been kissing... not a friendly peck on the cheek, but a long mouth-to-mouth kiss. They’d been holding each other so tight, they looked like one person, not two.

  No wonder Cash had been so nice to him. No wonder the gunslinger had spent so much time trying to talk him out of following in his footsteps. All so he could make Nadine Ellington happy, so she’d kiss him like that whenever he wanted.

  His mother had had no time for men in Marianna. JD had thought one marriage, one love, had been enough for her. But here she was, throwing herself at a gambler and a gunslinger. All so he’d do as she asked? So he’d scare JD out of what he had once wanted?

  The tears in his eyes made him angry. He wouldn’t cry. Not because his mother was whoring herself to get what she wanted, not because Cash had only pretended to like him to make a woman happy. Men didn’t cry when they got mad, JD thought as he threw open the door to the back room of what had once been Rogue’s Place. They got drunk.

  Chapter 16

  What had he done? Cash paced the boardwalk in front of the hotel, waiting for JD. Nadine was inside. The last time he’d seen the woman he was going to marry, she’d been talking to Eden, wearing a huge grin on her face. Looking so happy it was as if a light radiated from her.

  Beautiful as the sight of a truly happy Nadine was, Cash suffered fleeting doubts. Was he about to make the worst mistake of his life? Or the best decision? He wanted so much to have Nadine and JD and that baby, but he was still terrified of what might happen. He was still afraid they might have to one day pay for his mistakes.

  The first step was to tell everyone the news. His friends would not be surprised, he thought. As for those who were not his friends... who cared? But JD would be told first. They had decided that for sure. How would the kid take the news that kind, ordinary Joseph Ellington was not his father? That Daniel Cash was?

  He wanted it to work so much; if wishing alone could make it so, they would never have another worry.

  Movement across the street caught his eye. Lily, dressed in her finest as always, headed toward the hotel, a swing all her own in her step. As she neared Cash and the hotel entrance, she smiled.

  “Ah,” she said softly. “Canaille.”

  Not even Lily could darken his mood tonight. He shook a finger in her direction. “Speak English, woman. This is Texas, not France.”

  “I simply called you a scoundrel.”

  “Oh.” He grinned as she stepped onto the boardwalk. “And all this time I thought you were insulting me.” He leaned against the post. “The woman who stole my saloon should show the proper respect.”

  “For the thousandth time, I didn’t steal that saloon. It was never yours. You were just a squatter.”

  “A squatter? Now, that’s an insult.”

  She narrowed her eyes at him as she stepped toward the hotel door. “You are in a very good mood this evening, canaille. Why do I get the feeling that means trouble is coming to Rock Creek?”

  Lily didn’t wait for an answer but sauntered into the hotel with a wide smile on her face. Well, she had a point. For the past several years, the only thing that had made him really happy was... trouble. Trouble of the worst possible kind. Could he really change so much, all for a woman and a boy and a baby?

  Yeah.

  A few minutes later he caught sight of Teddy and Rafe hurrying toward home. Unfortunately JD was not with them.

  Teddy nodded as he approached.

  “Where’s JD?” Cash asked.

  Teddy shrugged, and Rafe supplied a more telling answer. “We were playing football, and he just left. I thought he’d come back to play another game, but he didn’t. I don’t know where he is.” He added his own shrug, a belated imitation of his older brother.

  Cash wasn’t worried as he stepped into the street. JD was thirteen years old, not a child like Fiona. He hadn’t gone missing, he just wasn’t home yet. Walking down the middle of the deserted street by moonlight, he kept his eyes peeled for a familiar head of dark hair. All was eerily quiet tonight, and a chill ran down his spine. It had been a long day, and it looked and sounded as if the entire town had gone to bed early. Few lights shone from the windows of the homes he passed, no children ran and shouted at this time of night.

  JD was bound to turn up soon, Cash thought as he turned around and headed back toward the hotel. He could wait in the lobby. For all he knew, the kid had gone in through the back door and was in his room, asleep after the day’s strenuous activities.

  Cash was walking back toward the hotel, intending to search and then wait there, when he saw the figure on the street. At first he thought it was a stranger, an armed gunman on the opposite side of the street walking away from Rogue’s Palace... Nadine’s clinic. With the eye of a soldier, he took it all in quickly. Long black duster that disappeared into the night, hat worn low over the eyes, gun belt low on the hips.

  It was the swagger that gave JD away, the same swagger he’d fallen into walking away from the river after their last target practice. What the hell... He opened his mouth to call out to the boy, but before he could say a word, JD’s posture changed in a way that made Cash’s heart jump into his throat.

  The kid drew and fired, the report explosively loud on the quiet street, the gun aimed high and to the side. Cash took off at a slow run. Down the street, the kid stumbled and righted himself quickly.

  Sullivan ran from the hotel, his hand over his weapon, h
is eyes on JD. But Sullivan wouldn’t know it was JD, not in the dark, not with the kid wearing that getup.

  “Drop it,” Sullivan ordered.

  JD ignored the order and fired again, twice in rapid succession, and before Cash’s eyes Sullivan took a stance he knew too well. The sheriff drew his gun, he took aim... at JD.

  Cash was almost alongside Sullivan, still at a run. His heart caught in his throat; his pulse pounded so hard he could hear it and nothing else. He opened his mouth to shout a warning, but it was too late to warn Sullivan that JD was the one walking down the street. It was too late to make him stop.

  Without conscious thought, without stopping his run toward JD, Cash drew his gun and fired. Sullivan’s gun went flying, and he dropped to his knees, left hand coming up slowly to touch the bloody wound at his shoulder.

  Cash continued running toward JD, but he holstered his six-shooter. “Put that down!” he ordered when he was close enough for the kid to hear.

  JD stopped, planted his feet and grinned, and swayed drunkenly as he lifted his gun.

  Behind him, Sullivan shouted, “The babies are up there!”

  Cash threw himself at JD and knocked the gun aside. It went off, the bullet firing harmlessly into the air. “What the hell are you thinking?” he shouted, his hand manacling JD’s wrist. Cash looked the kid up and down, noting his own duster, his own hat, a pair of old boots with one-inch heels that were too big for JD’s feet.

  “I was jus’ tryin’ to dot the ‘i’ in Paradise,” JD said, slurring his words. If the stench of whiskey hadn’t told the story, those words would have.

  Cash looked over his shoulder. The “i” in Paradise was positioned between the second and third floors. The upward trajectory would carry the bullets JD fired into the third-floor bedroom Millie and Fiona shared. “Goddammit,” he said, dragging JD along with him as he rushed toward the hotel. Sullivan, slowed by the wound to his shoulder, rose to his feet and followed. Jed passed JD and Cash and went to assist his wounded brother-in-law.

  Cash dragged JD into the lobby and up the stairs. Dear God, he didn’t want his son to be responsible for harming or maybe even killing one of the kids in that room. He would do anything to prevent it. Anything. What if he was too late?