“You guys were married?” Jordan asked in surprise.
“Yes. When it was clear that Alex was going to be shipped off to the Middle East for a tour, we decided that we would get married before he left. No one in either of our families knew that we had gotten married. We had planned to tell them at a later date and to have a church wedding at some point. But then I found out I was pregnant and knew we couldn’t keep the marriage a secret any longer.”
“I don’t understand,” Jordan said, his brow furrowed. “If you guys were married, why didn’t you stay together when I was born?”
Rebecca looked at him then and from her expression, Alex knew that she was done talking. He swallowed hard, hating the feeling of being so out of control. He looked at Jordan, feeling guilt well up within him once again, and knew that the look of admiration he’d seen in his son’s eyes the day before would soon be replaced by something much harsher.
“That would be my fault.” Alex paused, trying to gather his thoughts together, in hopes of being able to justify something that was totally unjustifiable. “When your mom let me know that she was pregnant, I told her she needed to get an abortion.”
Jordon’s sudden intake of breath made Alex wonder if perhaps he should’ve tried to sugarcoat it a bit more, but the reality was, there was no way to sugarcoat it. It had to be more like ripping off the Band-Aid. No matter which way he did it, it was going to hurt.
Jordan’s eyes were wide with hurt and looked suspiciously moist. He swallowed audibly before saying, “You didn’t want me?”
“It wasn’t you I didn’t want,” Alex said, once again desperate to find the words to explain to Jordan what had been in his mind. “I didn’t know you. In my mind, the baby wasn’t real.”
“But still. Why would you tell Mom to abort me?” Jordan’s hands clenched his cell phone so tightly Alex was afraid he was going to crush it.
“I know what I asked your mom to do was wrong. I have prayed and asked God to forgive me for what I asked her to do. At the time, however, I felt like it was the best thing.”
Jordan thumped the table with his clenched hands. “How could killing me have been the best thing?”
Alex took a deep breath and let it out. “I don’t want to make excuses for what I did because I know it was wrong. But I would like the chance to explain why I asked your mother to terminate the pregnancy.”
He left it up to Rebecca and Jordan to let him know if they were willing to hear what had led him to make that request—demand—of Rebecca. When Rebecca gave him a slight nod of her head, Alex shared for the first time where his head had been.
“Not long before I joined the military, your aunt Melanie had been kidnapped and held by a sex slave ring. We were fortunate that she was rescued when so many around the world are not. On top of that, I had just gone on a couple missions where I had seen things I never could have imagined. Children injured and killed all in the name of religion.” Alex tried to keep the images from flooding his mind, but they were all there still the same. So clear even after all these years. “And then there were the child soldiers. Children forced into roles they were too young to play. Forced to fight a battle they didn’t understand. And we had to defend ourselves against them.”
Alex didn’t look at either Rebecca or Jordan as he spoke. His gaze was on the table, but all he could see were the faces of the children who were forced to live in a world so horrible. “Between what had happened to Melanie and what I had seen while on my tour in less than two months, I couldn’t fathom bringing a child into that world. I didn’t want to have a child who might go through what Melanie had. And though logically I knew that a child born here would never be forced into the situations I saw in Afghanistan and Iraq, all I knew was a fear that I wouldn’t be able to protect my child because I’d taken the lives of others. Of course, it was clear someone needed to protect my own child from me. And that’s what your mother did.”
Silence filled the apartment as neither Rebecca nor Jordan responded to what he’d said so far. But that silence barely registered for Alex as he was once again back in the past. Alex remembered the feeling then he’d had of not being worthy to be a father when he hadn’t been able to protect the children he’d seen over there. And now he knew that he’d been right. He didn’t deserve to be a father to Jordan. He wanted to be, but he didn’t deserve it. He hadn’t protected his own child…he’d sentenced it to death with just a few words.
Only it was a death sentence that hadn’t been carried out.
Alex pulled his thoughts back from the past. What was done was done, and now all that was left was to move forward. He had a feeling that the future he had first envisioned upon finding out about Jordan wasn’t going to be the one that would unfold.
“I want to go back to Chicago,” Jordan said, his tone firm.
When Alex looked up, he saw that Jordan and Rebecca were staring at each other. He let out a sigh as he mentally shifted gears from the emotionally charged revelation to the reality of the situation.
“I know this is the last thing you want to hear from me, but I really need for both of you to stay here in Minneapolis.”
“Why?” Rebecca asked, her brows drawn together as she turned to look at him.
“After reviewing the details of how Jordan got the note, we believe that the person who revealed my identity to him is the same person who has been behind the other attacks on the company. It’s pretty clear from how he contacted Jordan that the person knows all about your life in Chicago. It would be safer for you both if you could remain here where security is tighter.” Alex cleared his throat. “I know it’s getting close to Christmas, but I hope you’ll be agreeable to staying here for at least another week or two. That would give us a chance to delve a little more deeply into the situation. If there is no resolution at that point, I will send someone with you back to Chicago to help secure your home and provide security for you.”
Rebecca sighed. “I understand that you’re not really responsible for what’s happened here, but this has turned into a huge inconvenience for Jordan and me. Our life is in Chicago.”
Alex straightened in his chair, pulling his shoulders back. “I’m sorry for how this has disrupted your life, but at this point, your safety is paramount. This person has proven that they are willing to do almost anything to impact the lives of the people working for BlackThorpe. By hand delivering that note to Jordan, he has also shown that he knows the details of your life. That makes him a threat to both you and Jordan. You are welcome to stay here in the apartment, or we have apartments available at the training compound just outside the city. And I will provide you with a vehicle that you can use for the duration of your stay here.”
“So basically we have no choice in the matter,” Rebecca said.
At that point, Alex would gladly have given up knowledge of his son in order for him and Rebecca to have remained safe and outside the reach of the person who seemed so determined to cause harm.
“I really don’t want to stay here, Mom,” Jordan said, a pleading look on his face. “I miss all my stuff in Chicago, and I don’t have enough clothes to stay that long.”
Rebecca looked at Jordan for a moment before replying. “I need to think about this a little bit before making a final decision. Keeping you safe has been my job since the day I found out about you. That hasn’t changed. So if I feel that it safer for us to stay here, this is where we will stay.”
Jordan slumped back in his chair, arms crossed and chin pressed down. It was hard to ignore the pain in his chest as Alex saw how desperately his son wanted to be away from him. Though he didn’t blame the boy, he hoped that someday Jordan might find it in his heart to forgive him for what he’d asked his mother to do. In the meantime, however, he would make sure that the two of them were safe. He was grateful that Rebecca wasn’t rejecting what he told them outright. But as much as he wanted to, Alex knew he couldn’t keep them in the Twin Cities if Rebecca made the decision that they would go back to Chica
go.
Alex pushed back from the table and got to his feet. “Let me know what you decide. Again, I’m sorry for the inconvenience this has caused you.”
Neither Rebecca nor Jordan said anything as he made his way to the door. He plucked his jacket from the hook and shrugged into it before sliding his boots on and leaving the apartment. With each step that he took away from Rebecca and Jordan, Alex resolutely pushed aside all the emotions that had come to life in the past two days. He had a job to do and that job was to keep his family safe, even though, right then, they wanted no part of him.
~*~*~
Rebecca sat at the table, staring at the door Alex had disappeared through. Just four days ago her life had been so uncomplicated. Now she was having to deal with revelations that cast the events of the past in a new light. And on top of that, she and Jordan were now in danger and required security to stay safe.
Part of Rebecca agreed with Jordan about returning to Chicago. But there was another part that was worried about their safety. What Alex had said made sense. Clearly the person who had approached Jordan, even though they’d used a courier, knew enough about him to know where he could be found. And not just that, they must’ve researched her life enough to know about Jordan. That information would have given them access to her home address and who knows what else.
“We’re going to be staying here, Jordan,” Rebecca said, bracing herself for her son’s response. Jordan was basically a good kid, but as with all teenagers, he could have his moody and stubborn moments. She had a feeling that one or both of those emotions were about to show themselves.
Jordan chewed on his lower lip, his gaze fixed on the table and the phone he held between his hands once again. “I don’t want to stay here, Mom. He doesn’t want me.”
Rebecca ignored the hysterical laugh that wanted to break free at the thought that she was now going to have to stand up for the man who broke her heart. That she was going to have to justify why Jordan should give him another chance. Because she couldn’t ignore the joy she’d seen on her son’s face when he had interacted with Alex before finding out the truth. And despite what Jordan may have thought, Alex very much did want him—now. She’d seen it in the way he dealt with Jordan the previous day, up until he told him that he needed to stay with her for the night.
“I can’t add anything more to what Alex has already said in order for you to change your mind about him, but I’m pretty sure that he does actually want you. I’ll support you in whatever type of relationship you want to have with him in the future.” She reached out and covered his hands with hers. “We have to stay here for now, but I won’t force you to spend any time with him. That will be your choice.”
It took a little while, but eventually Jordan accepted that, for the time being, they would be staying in the apartment next to the house where Alex lived. Rebecca was a bit uncertain as to how to handle the relationships with Melanie and Adrianne. For supper that night, she just used some of the groceries that were in the kitchen to prepare them a simple meal.
Around nine o’clock, her phone rang, drawing her attention from the email she was answering.
“Hi, Rebecca. It’s Alex.” He barely let her reply before continuing on. “I was just wondering if you would be willing to let Jordan meet my parents. They had absolutely no role in my decision back then. My mom, especially, is eager for a grandchild, so I know both of them would be absolutely thrilled to find out about Jordan.”
Thinking back to how her own parents had treated Jordan, Rebecca was suddenly anxious for her son to have at least one set of grandparents who were excited about him. “What exactly were you thinking?”
There was silence for a moment, as if Alex had expected her to immediately veto his request. “I was hoping that maybe you and Jordan could meet my parents for lunch tomorrow with Melanie and Tyler. Also, if you agree to this, I will tell them everything tonight, so they don’t think it’s weird that I’m not there with you.”
For some reason, Rebecca found herself wanting to reassure Alex that eventually Jordan would come around, that they would have a father and son relationship at some point in the future. But instead, she just said, “I think that would be okay.”
“Thank you, Rebecca. I am well aware that you are under no obligation to agree to anything I ask, so I appreciate your willingness to do this for my parents. I’ll call you back a little bit later with the details.”
“Okay, that sounds good.” She hesitated a moment then asked, “Has there been any more information on the woman who was kidnapped?”
“Unfortunately, not. And the fingerprints on the envelope and the note didn’t give us any information that would be helpful, but we will continue to search for this person knowing that, at some point, they’ll make a mistake. And when they do, we’ll be waiting for them.”
After a brief pause, Alex ended the conversation and said good night. Rebecca set the phone back down next to her laptop. She wasn’t sure how Jordan would react to the news of meeting his grandparents, but she hoped that he was willing to have a relationship with them as well as his aunts. Relationships of those types were sorely lacking on her side of the family. The only person who paid Jordan much attention at all was Connor, but he was hardly ever around.
Rebecca got up from the desk and went out into the living room where Jordan lay propped up on pillows, his tablet in his hands. He looked up as she approached the bed, curiosity clear on his face.
After settling on the edge of his bed, Rebecca said, “Alex just called to see if we’d be willing to meet with his parents — your grandparents — tomorrow for lunch with Melanie and Tyler.”
Jordan scowled. “Do they even know anything about me?”
“They will by the time we have lunch tomorrow. Alex said he was going to call them tonight to tell them all about you and what happened in the past. He said they’re very eager to have grandchildren, so they’ll be excited to meet you.”
Jordan’s scowl disappeared, but he still looked dubious. No doubt he was thinking of the relationship he had with her parents. “So you think they’ll like me?”
Rebecca leaned forward to run her fingers through his dark blonde hair and smiled. “Of course, they’ll like you. What’s not to like?”
“Ha ha. Very funny.” Jordan’s gaze dropped to his tablet as his fingers traced around the edge of it. “I just hope they’re not disappointed that I’m not a baby when they meet me for the first time.”
“I doubt very much that they’ll be disappointed by that. Babies are fun and cute and all, but they’ll be able to get to know you right off the bat since you’re able to talk. I really think it will be fine.”
Jordan sent a quick look her way and nodded, but Rebecca could tell he wasn’t completely convinced. She didn’t blame him for being a little bit wary, and she really hoped that she was right when she told him that he had nothing to worry about. After she gave him a kiss and told him good night again, she returned to her bedroom and the laptop waiting there for her.
Unfortunately, there were thoughts in her head that would not be ignored in spite of what waited for her on the laptop screen. At least with Melanie and Tyler there the next day, there would be someone else to make conversation should things between Jordan and his grandparents get stilted. She stared at the screen, wondering just how much Alex was actually telling his parents. Would he tell them that not only had they gotten married in secret fifteen years ago but that they were actually still married?
~*~*~
“Are we keeping you from something?” Marcus asked, his voice piercing through the fog of Alex’s distraction.
Alex glanced around the large table at the men gathered there. Each of them played a vital role in BlackThorpe and had spent the better part of the morning discussing possible scenarios and theories regarding the attacks on the company, especially Alana’s kidnapping. The only person not present at the meeting was Justin Morrell. Alex and Marcus had gone back and forth on whether or not to include h
im in the meeting, but in the end, they had decided that the men would speak more freely if Justin wasn’t present. Because the unfortunate reality was that they didn’t know if they would be getting Alana back alive.
He’d been able to stay focused for the first hour or so, but as the clock ticked closer to noon, he found himself wondering how the lunch meeting was going with Rebecca, Jordan, and his folks. Their response when he’d revealed the news to them the previous night had ranged from shock to anger. But when all was said and done, they were thrilled at the prospect of having a grandson. Alex hoped that Jordan would be open to a relationship with them, even though he wasn’t keen on having one with him.
“No. Sorry. I’ve just got a lot on my mind at the moment.”
He saw several of the men nod and knew they understood where his preoccupation was coming from. Each of them had also faced their own challenges in their personal lives and were more than willing to cut him some slack as he dealt with his own issues.
“Why don’t we agree on the direction we want to take and call it a day? I think we’ve come up with some possible avenues to pursue even if they do seem a bit like we’re grasping at straws. We’ll continue to cooperate with the law enforcement in Alana’s case, but I think we need to think outside the box in order to bring all of this to some sort of resolution.”
It didn’t take long for the men to finalize a plan of action and then head back to their offices. Usually one of the first to leave after a meeting, Marcus hung around with Alex after the other men had left.
“So what’s happening with you and Jordan?” Marcus asked as he shut the door to the board room then returned to his chair. “I assume he’s the reason that you are distracted this morning.”
Alex settled back into his chair with a brief nod. As he recounted the events of the past day to Marcus, Alex realized that he wasn’t just distracted by how things were going with Jordan. Rebecca had surprised him when they told Jordan about what had happened back when she’d first found out she was pregnant. He had expected a lot more anger and bitterness from her. Instead, she had allowed him to speak without tainting Jordan’s understanding of what happened. Of course, he hadn’t needed her to do that. His actions alone had been enough to turn his son away from him.
Proof of Life: A Christian Romance (BlackThorpe Security Book 4) Page 9