Love Never Dies

by Loren Lockner

  “Why don’t you take a look,” he said, as she dove right in, disgorging the contents of a bright red bag first.

  “Oh Simon, this is just what I needed,” she said enthusiastically, fingering a pair of blue jeans. “How’d you know I was size eight?”

  “Previous girlfriend,” he mumbled, hanging up his leather jacket.

  Julia by now had discovered the long - sleeved red mock turtleneck and lavender t-top, as well as a light blue windbreaker jacket. She blushed at the two pairs of lacy underwear and a matching bra. She gulped as she examined the size. 34C? He observed a blush stealing down to her neck and grinned.

  “Was I close?” he asked impishly, as Julia shoved the beige bra back into the bag.

  “Close enough,” she retorted.

  “And I bought these as well.” He tossed a pair of crew socks at her. “At least you’ll have a nice change of clothes. I also thought you might need this. It’s Laker town after all, so I hope you like the t-shirt.” It was an oversized yellow shirt suitable for sleeping.

  “And what’s in the other package?”

  “Just a pair of blue jeans and sweatpants for me with a couple tops, some clean underwear, socks, and… I thought this would come in handy.” He pulled out two toothbrushes imprisoned inside their thick plastic packaging with a small tube of mint toothpaste. “Damn, I didn’t think to buy you a hair brush.”

  “Not to worry,” said Julia. “I have one in my bag.”

  “And, even though it’s not my style, I thought I might try to disguise my face and head a bit.” He pulled out a Dodger baseball hat and thrust it onto his head. Somehow, the image didn’t fit.

  “Hmm, well, it does change your persona all right. Maybe if you turn it around. What’s in the smaller bag?

  “Something really handy.”

  Julia peered inside. A small sturdy cardboard box rested inside the bag and upon opening it she smiled. How very like Simon.

  “I couldn’t bear for you to be weaponless, even though you’re equipped with that deadly can of mace. Look…” he pressed the button on the high-tech army knife and a huge corkscrew appeared.

  “Well if he’s a cork, we’ve got it made.”

  “Very funny, but check this out.” Simon pressed the button again and out popped a one-and-a-half-inch blade. “It’s amazing what one can do with a weapon like this, particularly if it’s well-aimed, like in the vicinity of the eyes. I also thought this might come in handy.” He squeezed again and a small ice pick appeared.

  “You could kill a man with that,” gulped Julia, recollecting a horrible scene from a recent action movie she’d viewed with her brother.

  “If it comes to that point Julia, forget he’s another human being. Aim for his eyes or the heart. Don’t hesitate. Remember, this man has killed before.” Julia gulped as an image of Seth’s face floated before her and she resolutely took the knife from him, folding away its attachments and placing it in her purse.

  “I won’t ever forget.”

  “That’s my girl. Once we leave here keep it in your pocket or purse at all times. I suggest you hold on to your mace as well. About three blocks down Altadena Boulevard is a place called Jiffy Car Rental. First thing in the morning we’ll trot down there and rent ourselves a nondescript sedan.”

  “And then what?” asked Julia.

  “I’m still thinking on it, but one thing’s for certain. We can’t take my Pajero. Adam Gable’s probably already run the plates.”

  “My brother’s going to be worried if I don’t show up tomorrow,” remembered Julia, retrieving the army knife and using the tiny scissors to snip the tags off their clothes.

  “I left a message on his machine indicating you wanted a couple of extra days down here in the LA area. I need to take a shower. Why don’t you see if there are any classic movies on TV?”

  He swung his clothes bag off the bed and headed into the bathroom.

  She found a movie all right, but it wasn’t one she should have been viewing. A grief-stricken Meryl Streep stood on the edge of a battered pier gazing out to sea and wondering if her lover would ever return. Julia had always enjoyed this movie with Jeremy Irons, but tonight The French Lieutenant’s Woman proved too much for her. The loss of Seth combined with the knowledge that Joe Alletti had sent Adam Gable to kill her, along with the fact that the brother of the man she loved now risked everything to protect her, proved to be her undoing. And… just how did she feel about Seth’s twin?

  Julia mutely watched the glowing images upon the small screen as tears coursed down her cheeks. When Simon emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later, rubbing his dark hair energetically with a towel. He was startled to see her perched on the edge of the bed; her hands tightly clasped together, the knuckles stretched white as a dark gray sea crashed over the rocks upon the screen. Simon took one look at the TV and grabbing the remote, turned off TCM.

  “Perhaps we should go in for a comedy tonight,” he pronounced. “Please don’t cry Julia,” he begged, leaning over her and taking both of her hands, massaged the cold, damp fingers between his own. Simon’s dark gray eyes searched her blurry ones. “It’s just the strain of the moment. Don’t worry sweet Julia. Everything will be alright.”

  Simon pulled her from the bed and enfolded her in his strong comforting arms. She could smell the clean fresh scent of soap about him mingled with the store-bought newness of the sweatshirt he’d donned. His dark hair glistened from his shower, the small hoop in his left ear glinting in the lamplight as he rubbed the small of her back comfortingly.

  It was the strong beat of his heart that proved to be her undoing. Somehow, the warm glow always signaling Seth’s presence intermingled with Simon’s living essence. He gazed down at her before slowly lowering his lips, seeking the warmth and comfort of her kiss. That first kiss was not gentle, but desperate, as if a tormented being had been denied far too long. His lips were sweet and smelled of pizza and toothpaste and passion.

  He strained against her until suddenly Julia remembered just who and what she was kissing and jerked away, appalled at her response to him. Her confused heart burned and ached as Simon stood for a long moment searching her eyes. He offered no apologies.

  “I’ve lost everything in my life I love, except for my cousin whose whereabouts are unknown to me. You were Seth’s true love and I was Seth’s brother. Somehow, I know that when I kiss you I feel complete. To remain separate from you would be a travesty of justice.”

  “I can’t!” she cried, trying to pull away, but Simon held her fast.

  “Please, please hear me out. Seth is never coming back Julia. So is your love to die with him; buried in that lonely churchyard in Santa Barbara you visit each Sunday? Yes, it’s true; I admit I followed you there one weekend after I had stopped by your flat. You can’t let yourself die with him Julia! Are you never to love again, keeping yourself isolated from the world like some sort of self-proclaimed nun? I swear to you that I’m as close to being my brother as you will ever meet again upon this earth and swear that the love he felt for you also flows through my heart and my veins.

  And you my precious girl, were the love of his life and for good reason. There will never be another such as you and I somehow feel that if you cannot love me I’ll simply perish. I promise to protect you and cherish you until the end of my days and pledge to take no other; this I swear on my brother’s grave. Seth would approve Julia. I know he understands.”

  “Like he understood with Marcie, the girl you stole from him?”

  “He was always a much better man than I, there’s no denying it. I was the wild one, the one my mother worried about. I was the one the old women in our parish whispered about behind their hands as the poor priest shook his head. Yet, deep inside, I’m so much like him. For just like he did, I want someone to love me, to cherish me like you did Seth. And so, I offer myself to you completely; my body, my heart, and my soul. Please… please consider me.”

  Simon’s lean cheeks flushed hotly as he aw
aited her answer. Suddenly Julia saw Simon as a man who’d always been overshadowed by his serious, and in many ways, more fortunate brother. Simon’s eyes were so clear and loving, his lips warm and full, and suddenly her heart swelled, the warmth of Seth’s soul urging her to love again. Julia wanted to reach out and touch him, to shove this nightmare surrounding Adam Gable, Joe Alletti, and Lou Tierney far, far away. She wanted to be held and cherished again, to be loved as fiercely as she had before. Her Seth was dead and now Simon stood in his stead, waiting and hoping.

  They’d wrenched Seth’s life from her, had stolen her love, and all Simon could do now was offer to fill that void. His eyes, so warm and understanding, pleaded for her love and suddenly Julia couldn’t resist the sweetness that was Simon any longer. Julia reached up and cupped his warm agitated face before kissing him tenderly.

  Simon swooped down, lifting her up in his arms and whispering her name over and over until finally settling her reverently upon the rust-colored bedspread. He swiftly moved to the lined curtains and drew them fully, switching off the lights in the bathroom and small bedroom. The room was plunged into shielding, beckoning darkness. He lay down beside her, kissing her softy upon the cheek, seeking to reassure her.

  “The darkness will be our friend and our blanket,” he whispered.

  His lips trailed across her throat, still damp from her earlier tears, and then rose to nibble at her earlobe. His hair was long and brushed her face as she ran her fingers through its rich silk, enjoying the length and fullness of his ebony mane. The strange white streak spiraling upward from his crown glowed in the semi-darkness and she touched the patch, so much finer in texture than his other dark locks. Julia kissed the small puckered scar at the corner of his lip and ran her tongue over the fullness of his open mouth.

  His body was leaner than Seth’s and she noticed the raised protrusion of a large ragged scar upon his back as her fingers searched under the sweatshirt, but he didn’t flinch as she ran her hands over the warm skin. He removed her peach top and fiddled with the front opening of her bra as her fingers danced across his upper torso. In the dim light Julia noted the serious intensity of his face. This was no late-afternoon fling or senseless act for Simon. Simon took his lovemaking as seriously as Seth, and Julia was vastly comforted by the passionate intensity flowing from his silvery eyes.

  He slowly removed her pale orange trousers, kissing her knees and shins as he tossed the comfortable pants upon the thinly carpeted floor. The moment the soft cotton hit the ground Simon seemed to lose control of his previously restrained movements and began to kiss her wildly. He desperately begged her to love him as he moved his mouth frantically over her receptive body. It was easy to lose herself inside his eager arms as Simon kissed her deeply and passionately. His jeans joined hers upon the floor, and suddenly he was poised over her.

  “Please Julia,” he requested desperately.

  “Don’t stop,” she urged, and he didn’t.

  It was a wild coupling, made desperate by circumstance and loss, yet so sweet and all-consuming that Julia forgot where she was and for one instant her heart burned as hotly as the rest of her body as she cried out his name.

  “Seth!”

  Simon froze momentarily, stunned by what he’d heard, yet unable and unwilling to stop the sweet madness between them. Julia hadn’t realized she’d called out Seth’s name and Simon vowed, as he passionately claimed the woman he loved, to never tell her. It was his deep, dark secret, yet as he cried out her name in that one final sweet spasm, a single tear slid down his beard-roughened cheek at all that had been lost.

  Simon held her for a long time and finally, while she slept the sleep of the fulfilled, slipped on his jeans and opened the door of the bathroom. The light, issuing from the tiled room, illuminated the bed and fragile woman stretched out in exhausted repose upon the rust-colored spread. Many minutes later, with the door locked to that small bathroom, he scrubbed his tear-stained face and vowed that Julia Ann Morris would never again lose the man she loved.

  When Julia awoke, Simon was seated in the wobbly chair from before, watching her unreservedly as she slept. She strangely felt no embarrassment as the fully clothed man stared at her so tenderly. On his right forefinger a blue-black revolver swung and it was the sight of that, not her state of undress that caused her to bolt upright.

  “Don’t be frightened,” he said reassuringly, setting the handgun upon the narrow table that served as a desk and TV stand.

  He joined her upon the bed, and settling her spoon-fashioned against him buried his face in the sweet fragrance of her neck.

  “I didn’t know you had another gun.”

  “I purchased it just this afternoon.”

  “I’m not sure that makes me feel any safer,” but deep inside she knew it did. “Do you know how to use it?”

  “I’ve been practicing at the range everyday.”

  His confidence was enough to end that line of conversation.

  “So what do we do now?” Julia asked, wanting only to lie in his arms and sleep. Simon raised himself on one elbow and sighed as he studied her pale face.

  “I can’t get hold of Stan, so I’ll try Angus and Mandy. Maybe they can find us a safe house.”

  “You trust them?”

  “With our lives. Besides, I have no other choice. Stan has been watching over you for months now.”

  “Are you under Witness Protection?”

  He gave a rueful grin. “I was, but violated the agreement by coming down to Santa Barbara. Angus said he would wash his hands of me if I did. He believed I endangered you unnecessarily. He was right of course.”

  “Curiosity did kill the cat.”

  “So that’s what you are, sweet Julia? A curiosity?”

  Julia lifted his hand to her face and kissed his palm. “I hope that’s not all. It’s strange, but for the first time in months, even in this situation and followed by a hired killer, I suddenly feel hope. And that hope is because of you Simon.”

  Simon turned his head away, distancing his suddenly numb body from her before lying face down upon the bed, not wanting those searching eyes upon his face. Somehow, he felt that if she analyzed him too much, he’d be found wanting.

  His muffled voice came from the pillow. “Promise me something Julia.”

  “What Simon?”

  “Promise not to compare me with him too much.”

  “I’ll try.”

  His blurry eyes met hers.

  “Thank you,” he said quietly, and pulling up the bedspread, placed a strong arm over her bare body and willed himself to sleep.

  Chapter 12

  It was the sound of crows cawing the next morning that finally awakened Simon. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and heard the drizzle of the shower splashing inside the porcelain tub from the motel’s small bathroom. Simon moved to the drawn curtains, and flicking them open, noted it must have been raining for a long time. Both he and Julia had slept deeply and all the painstaking work he’d taken with the disguising mud was for naught. His instincts told him he had to move quickly. Simon desperately wanted to join her in that shower and run his hands over her sleek soapy body, but realized that would be just too dangerous. He retrieved his leather jacket and hiding the Beretta inside the holster tapped upon the bathroom door.

  “Julia, I need to check on the Pajero. I should be back in a couple of minutes. Is everything alright in there?”

  Her lilting voice echoed through the closed door.

  “Everything is fine. Why don’t you come in and join me?”

  “I would love to, but I believe one of us needs to be out in the front room at all times. I hope you understand. Can I take a rain check?”

  “Of course,” she laughed through the door. “Anytime.”

  Fortified by her words, Simon left the small motel room and checked on the 4x4. Sure enough the mud had dissolved and he moved to the back of the vehicle, opening the heavy rear door and removing the single umbrella he kept there
for emergencies. He’d just returned to the room when Julia exited the steam-filled bathroom, a small white towel wrapped around her damp body. Simon quickly averted his eyes and took a deep steadying breath.

  “If you’ll wait just a moment Simon I’ll get dressed and you can take your own shower.”

  I’d appreciate that,” he mumbled, turning his head away, not realizing Julia observed him affectionately. She watched him battle his desire, mistakenly believing she understood why he couldn’t lay with her that morning.

  Fifteen minutes later Simon was showered and ready, Julia placing the soiled articles of clothing into the large plastic shopping bags and dropping the army knife into her purse.

  “I added the Beretta to your handbag; it’s loaded and ready. Don’t think too much about how to use it Julia, simply aim at the largest part of his body and pull the trigger.” Julia swallowed and nodded jerkily.

  “I can do that,” she whispered.

  “Glad to hear it,” replied Simon, and pulled her to him in a swift strong embrace. “Now I don’t know about you, but I can’t continue without having some food in my stomach. So let’s head down to the Pancake Shack two blocks away and discuss our next move.”

  The cold rainy weather made Simon’s leg ache even more than usual as he shook off the umbrella at the entrance of the very popular pancake house. The heady aroma of hotcakes, mingled with the strong odor of coffee and frying bacon, permeated the air.

  Simon instructed the receptionist to take them to the rear of the restaurant if possible. Later, ensconced in a bright red vinyl booth, he ordered a tall stack of buckwheat pancakes, a rasher of bacon, and two sunny-side-up eggs. Julia eyed him quizzically.

  “That’s exactly what Seth would have ordered.”

  He cleared his throat. “I told you before we were similar in many ways and this is my mother’s old standby. She made the best buckwheat pancakes in the world. I just hope these can live up to them.” The busy waitress brought Julia tea and Simon coffee, and as he stirred in some sugar into the bitter liquid Julia tentatively asked.