Nimmet, Goddess of Love

by Anastasia Rabiyah

  "Shut up."

  The battle shifted away. He couldn’t tell where they’d gone, only that the soldiers were not close by. "Go," he begged. "I can’t bear it if you die here by me. Please, just go."

  "I said shut up."

  He closed his eyes. The sound of a shuttle engine sputtered and moaned in the distance. He hated himself for it, but when Lensi’s fingers caught in his, he squeezed tight, unwilling to let go.

  Bombs fell and exploded. He knew the sounds of destruction. The Irnian reign was coming to an end in these moments, and Leuj no longer cared. He didn’t worry about the treasures he’d collected, only that they’d be lost forever now, but even that thought weighed far in the back of his mind.

  The darkness reached for him; it grasped his mind in a hungry way. He felt his body going into shock, shivers shaking his limbs, his lips. The hum of the shuttle seemed closer, too close. The air shifted and Lensi kept holding his hand. Maybe I’ll die now. Maybe this is my last breath, he kept thinking, but each exhale brought a new breath, and though it pained him and fluid gurgled in the back of his throat, he reached for each intake of air, hoping for life.

  The darkness took him fully in its blanket of black shadows. He hardly felt Lensi’s hand anymore. Then it was gone. Voices argued. A man shouted, "No! Leave him! Let him die in his godforsaken garden with that damned statue."

  A woman wailed. He knew the sound of her voice, though he’d never heard Sister Lensi cry.

  Then another voice sounded above the emptiness. "We take him with us." Sima sounded reticent, but determined. He wanted to cry, to reach out and thank her for the mercy she showed.

  "My father will not have him."

  Chapter Twenty Eight – Rebels

  Sima sat beside Razi on the bench seat in the church shuttle, watching the Oemir bleed. Blood streaked the leader’s mussed, blond hair. His eyes remained closed and every time he breathed, a crackling sound echoed in the relative silence. She felt an overwhelming urge to cry. Leuj lay on his stomach, gardening cloth tied around his body to staunch the bleeding from the wounds across his back. She closed her eyes for a moment.

  "He pushed me down and got all shot up. He saved my life. I’m not leaving him." The nun’s voice tormented Sima’s mind, as did the image of Leuj falling forward, the bullets hitting, him, shaking his body in midair while Razi hovered the shuttle over the garden. She’d felt helpless then, watching the war begin, the gardens around the palace catch fire.

  "He should be dead," she muttered. Razi squeezed her hand.

  "Maybe we should be too, but we’re not."

  Sima looked up at him, his eye swollen and bruised. He appeared exhausted, but he forced a sideways grin. She glanced down at the uniform she wore, thankful for clothes though they were two sizes too big. Behind her, the nun hummed as she drove, her voice shaky. She guessed the woman was trying to comfort herself.

  A bomb touched down far behind them in south side. It exploded in a fury of noise, but Lensi turned the shuttle onto a mountain road at that moment and the drone of its engine changed. Something clicked at the controls, the engine sputtered, then gained power. The shuttle rose higher, increasing in speed, and flew across the jungle.

  Leuj cried out, his right hand seeking purchase, but sadly meeting nothing but air. Fingers groped the aluminum floor for a time before stopping. Sima watched as droplets of his blood pattered onto the metal bench he lay across. A line of crimson made its way down the side.

  "How is he?" Lensi asked, her voice unsteady, rent with concern. She kept her eyes on the windshield, her hands firm against the touchscreen.

  "He’s dying."

  The coldness in Razi’s voice startled Sima. She turned her attention to the window, to the lines of black smoke billowing from the city of Irnia on the horizon. The rain had stopped soon after they left the palace, and the suns hung aligned in the sky like red spotlights announcing the befalling doom.

  Soon they’d be high in the Unangi Mountains, past the tribal villages that dotted the rims of the valleys below. Lensi said she knew the way to a rebel’s camp and Sima didn’t doubt the woman.

  The sound of Leuj’s pitiful cries drew her attention. His body quaked with sorrow. His wet sobs tore at her. I should feel nothing for him, she reminded herself. He stole me, killed some woman in my place and attacked my homeland. Strange enough though, she felt sorry for him. His hand reached out once more, seeking comfort, perhaps the nun’s reassurance, some sign that he wasn’t alone.

  In the front of the shuttle, Lensi sniffled. Sima knew the woman wept, and probably had been crying ever since they left the palace. It made no sense that she cared about Leuj, that she wouldn’t leave him to die there among his treasures, even if he’d saved her life.

  "I’ll sit by him," she found herself saying.

  Razi’s brows furrowed. He squeezed her hand and she wondered if he’d let her go. "Are you sure? He doesn’t deserve your pity."

  "I wouldn’t want to die alone. He…" She chewed her cheek for a long moment, thinking. "He wanted to change. When he came to me in the cell before the bombs…" She felt Razi stiffening. His full lips pursed as he waited for her to explain. Sima cleared her throat. "Leuj said I came to him in a dream, that I saved him from the darkness. I think he wants to do what’s right, but he doesn’t know how."

  Tears welled in Razi’s eyes. He turned away, staring out his window. His silence made sense even though he let go of her hand.

  Sima stood and held to the side of the shuttle as she edged closer to the Oemir. She knelt and reached out for his questing fingers. They came into hers, cold, trembling. His grip tightened, but in a weak way. She leaned closer until her mouth was inches from his ear. "You’re not alone," she whispered.

  He stopped crying. His body calmed and his breathing halted. She feared he’d died. A drop of blood splattered onto the floor, joining the puddle already there. She stared at his body, waiting for an intake of breath.

  Three more drops of blood fell.

  She heard Razi shifting in his seat.

  The nun cleared her throat and tried to hum, her pleasant voice choked with tears. She tapped out a command on the touchscreen, causing the shuttle to angle higher. They breached the top of the mountains. Soon, they’d be in the safety of the rebel’s camp. Soon, they’d be free.

  "Sima?" Leuj’s voice came out in a harsh whisper. "It’s dark here." He sucked in a sickening, wet breath. "So cold." His eyes opened a little, the green vibrant despite his failing body.

  She nodded, unsure of what to say.

  "I’m sorry." He tried to smile, but his lips quivered and the muscles in the left side of his face refused to cooperate. The expression came off as a shaking grimace. "I’m sorry for what I did…all of it."

  His eyes closed, his breathing hitched and gurgling. Sima remained at his side, holding his hand, waiting for his grip to fade. She had nothing to do but count the circles of blood that fell from his hair and gathered near her knee.

  It seemed an eternity passed before the shuttle eased into its descent. The engine purred in soothing tones. From her vantage, she saw the tops of jungle trees, vines strangled branches and then, they landed, touching down in the high jungle. Swirls of mist swept across the windows leaving condensation on the glass.

  Razi stood, swept a hand through his hair and stared at whatever lay beyond. "We’re here," he told her. "Are you ready?"

  "Yes." She didn’t move.

  "I’ll see if they can bring a stretcher. It looks primitive out there, a lot of huts and goats. I don’t know about this, Sima. They’re likely to kill him on sight."

  The front shuttle door opened. Sima heard the cries of joy ringing through the air. "Children," she whispered. "Those are sounds of children."

  Razi knelt beside her and touched her cheek. "Yeah. Lensi’s saved a lot of them. Wards too, and slaves. All kinds of people." He kissed her cheek, his lips warm, soothing. She turned her face to steal a deeper kiss from his lips.

&nbs
p; "It’ll be all right," she said, more to reassure herself than him.

  He swept her hair from her face and pulled her closer, offering a passionate kiss that numbed her body. Their tongues danced in unison, a moan escaping her throat as he pulled away. "I want a shower." He smiled. "And later, when we’re in some place fancier than this, I want to have you in that shower with me."

  He turned away before she could say anything, leaving her empty, desperate to scramble to his side. The larger shuttle door released and opened. He stepped down and walked away.

  The rebel camp looked like the villages she’d seen on television, a thick circle of huts nestled among the jungle. Children ringed the Habiri nun, all calling to her in their native tongue. When Lensi looked back, Sima felt the woman’s pain. She nodded, hoping to reassure her in some small way.

  Chapter Twenty Nine –

  Waking to the News

  The darkness closed in several times. He felt it pressing against his chest, crushing his lungs and stressing the rhythm of his heart. Every evil thing Leuj had done in his life weighted on his blurred memory. He saw faces, bodies, blood and stolen relics. In his delirium, he wept, and through the nightmare, Sima held his hand.

  Pain shot up his left arm, a needle, a thick one that pumped liquid into his veins. Far away, he heard Lensi’s voice, steady and powerful, sturdy as her body in its tone. She barked out orders to unseen men. He ached to be near her. A void settled in his soul that he couldn’t ignore, a gaping hole that perhaps had always been there, a place he’d tried to fill with every alluring relic he’d acquired over the years.

  The darkness moved. It rippled, and he wished he could open his eyes again. He missed light and color. Sima rubbed his knuckles with her thumb.

  The numbness began, wooing him to slip into the darkness. He tasted salt in the back of his throat and some bitter medicine-like flavor lingering across his tongue. Lensi’s voice went silent. Why isn’t she here? Terror struck him, but he couldn’t move, couldn’t open his eyes. He tried to speak, but his voice came out in a garbled mess.

  "Lie still," the female voice soothed. "They’re closing the wounds." Fingers squeezed his hand. "You’ll be all right."

  He didn’t believe her, not this time. The darkness descended and Leuj felt swallowed by a great demon of ice. He twisted and turned in its stomach, pain burning past the anesthetic. It crippled his thoughts until all he felt able to do was ride the waves of air, of breathing in and out.

  Somewhere beyond this nightmare reality, he felt a link to the living, the warm, reassuring touch against his hand. "I am alone," he wanted to scream. Why had she said that to him in the shuttle? I am alone…I’ve always been alone.

  i i i i

  Goats and sheep bleated. A rooster burbled out a dry crow. Leuj sucked in a breath, feeling his mind stirring for the first time in… "Where am I?" He opened his eyes and glanced around in a frantic state. His hand was empty, his savior, his salvation gone. The room smelled like dirt and hay. Sunlight peaked past a gray wool curtain announcing the morning.

  "S-s-s-safe," a childish voice answered.

  He sought the speaker and found her, a frail, yet beautiful Unangi girl sitting atop a hewn stool. She scraped tufts of wool between two wire brushes, her dark-eyed gaze holding his attention.

  Leuj’s stomach growled. His back felt numb and his left hand refused to move. "How long…?"

  "Sister b-b-brought you here last week." The child frowned. Her black brows crinkled as she concentrated. "T-t-t—"She huffed, frustrated. The brushes slapped together, grating against each other. "Taraf!" she shouted out the word, and smiled.

  He tried to sit up, but his body ached against it. "What about Taraf? What happened to Irnia?"

  The door opened, and Lensi’s familiar round, freckled face appeared. "Shiemir Alonwei is occupying Irnia now," she said, her voice cool and low. "He took Leimel, Sector Three and the eleven provinces in Osian." Her hips swayed beneath her black dress as she approached.

  Leuj licked his lips, relieved to see her, but startled over her news. "What’s happened? I don’t understand."

  "It seems the Shiemir is greedier than you. He’s organized a hostile takeover of Em-7. This planet is under his rule now."

  "But Kyleena—"

  "Oh, he has backers, Leuj. The Shiemer has treaties with Em-3, Em-19 and two other planets in the Sovra system." She stopped at his bedside. Her warm palm came against his cheek. "Alonwei is challenging the Empire."

  He swallowed hard. He’d underestimated Sima’s father to a sickening degree. He no longer feared for his own life, but that of the woman standing before him. "What will happen to you now?"

  She knelt over him, her face flushing pink. "I’m taking you out of here. A few know who you are. If not for me, you’d be dead. They’d have strung you up in the center of the village and broadcast your body on the pirate channels. You’re not a threat anymore. They bombed the palace. Your armies, the ones that survived, have all been taken hostage. Kyleena will strike, and I don’t want to be anywhere near here when they do. I’ve been waiting for you to wake up."

  His left hand refused to obey his mind. He reached for her with his right, grasping her upper arm in a needful attempt to pull her closer. She leaned, kissing him before he had the chance to do it himself. Lensi’s fingers tickled the side of his face as she tasted him. His body tingled with desire, awakening from the pain that thrummed beyond the meds they must have pumped into him. He wished they were alone, that she’d climb above him as she’d done in the palace and have her way.

  Leuj knew he’d submit to her, that she wouldn’t abandon him or hate him for the terrible things he’d done. Her ample breasts pressed into his chest. He held his breath as she nibbled on his lips.

  A small sound interrupted them. The child shut the door, leaving her combs behind. He heard her footsteps as she sprinted away, abandoning them to their desires.

  Lensi giggled like a teenager, her face beet red. "Oops."

  "You should restrain yourself better, Sister. I thought you were stronger." He tangled his fingers in her hair, wishing he could feel more of his left side, that he could reach for her with both hands and draw her atop him. He didn’t care if it hurt, if he wasn’t well enough. "I want to make love to you again."

  "Do you?" Her eyes widened. "Well, you’ll have to wait. Besides, I made love to you. I don’t recall you doing much of anything at all. You just laid there all nervous."

  He laughed until it hurt, which wasn’t long at all. "I love you," he choked out. "You scare the hell out of me, Lensi, but I love you." Tears drained down his cheeks. She looked bewildered as she sucked in her bottom lip, and he wished he could kiss her again. "I’m sorry…for who I am. You’re right about me."

  "Just shut up," she whispered, bending to kiss him hard.

  Chapter Thirty – Alga

  Razi rolled on his side. The bed felt warm. The hum of the air conditioner sounded peaceful even though he knew war waged in the north, miles away from the cozy motel room he and Sima occupied. He glanced at the bathroom door, wondering what she was doing in there. Water ran in the sink, and he heard the sound of her brushing her teeth. Closing his eyes against the blaring pink walls, he remembered what it felt like to hold her in the wine cellar. His body tingled at the intimate memory.

  They’d been in Alga only a few hours. Sima’s ongoing silence bothered him. Even during dinner an hour before, she’d looked past him, through him as if he didn’t matter.

  The water shut off.

  Tired of waiting, he shoved back the covers and strode to the door. She hadn’t locked it. Sima stood next to the sink, wearing a long, white t-shirt and nothing else. It barely covered the roundness of her hips. He couldn’t resist her. "What’s the matter with you?" he asked, closing in.

  She backed away, her eyes wide. "Nothing."

  "Do you want me? I mean, I know this war, your father’s rebellion… I understand it’s a lot to take in, but we’re free. You look terr
ified whenever I reach for you."

  She lowered her eyes to stare at her fidgeting hands. "Of course, I want you."

  "Oh." He’d expected her to send him away, to push him off like so many others before. Strange enough, he’d never been afraid of that moment until now. "Sima, I love you. You’re all I think about."

  She glanced up, her hazel eyes wide. "What do we do now? We have to leave Em-7. It’s not safe for me."

  "They think you’re dead. If there’s one thing Leuj did, he made sure no one would miss you." He came toward her, took both of her hands and held them in his. "What do you want to do? Have you thought about it?"

  She shook her head, still watching him with that fearful gaze. "I…I just wanted to escape."

  He moved in, hungry for her and kissed those quivering lips until they stopped and she seemed to lose herself in the passion of the moment, just as he did. Her hands sought his bare chest, one sweeping across his nipple ring. He winced, but kissed her hard, pressing her to into the wall.

  When she slipped her fingers down the back of his underwear and gripped his ass, urging him forward, he thrust against her in slow, even movements. The wall kept her from escaping and made for a sturdy guide. Running his thumbs along her hips, he tickled her skin in gentle strokes. "What do you want, Sima?" he whispered against her wet lips. She tried to draw a kiss from him, but he teased her, kissing her cheek instead. "Tell me what you want. Anything…everything. I’ll do you hard against the wall. You want that?"

  He nipped at her neck, at the tender skin along her jaw-line, before finding her soft ear lobe. Whispering in heated words, he spoke, "Want me to do it here?" He slipped a hand lower, fingering her wet clit in slow caresses.

  She jumped at the contact, her mouth hot on his neck. "Mmhmm." She moaned.