End Note

by Sonya Loveday

  She broke eye contact first. Her head fell forward, curtaining her face with honey-blonde hair. “I can’t do this, Jared. We can’t do this.” She pulled her hand from mine and grabbed her bag.

  When she went to step past me, my arm shot out and I came up from the bench, blocking her escape. She kept her head lowered as I all but towered over her. Her breathing picked up. Her hand clutched at the strap over her shoulder. I cupped my hand on her neck, tipping her chin so she’d look at me. When her eyes met mine, I kissed her. When she didn’t try to bolt, I deepened the kiss. She whimpered, swaying into me.

  When the kiss ended, her face was flushed. Her fevered eyes were bright and snapping bits of gold in a sea of brown and blue. Each breath hissed past her lips as her hand came up and locked around my wrist. “You’re not gonna let this, whatever it is between us, get in the way of the band.”

  “What band?” I murmured the question, lost at what she meant. There was only her and me.

  “That’s what I mean. The band, they need you, Jared. I know about their plan. I know they’re walking as soon as they can. You’re a huge part of that, Jared. But I’m not. I’m just here until the ride ends.”

  “Fuck that. You’re here with us. Where we go, you go, Murphy.”

  “As much as I’d like to believe that, Jared, I don’t.”

  My arms fell to my sides when she stepped back.

  Retro and Licks killed any chance of talking anymore about it when they bounded up the stairs and raided the fridge.

  “First band’s taking the stage, Murph,” Retro said as he squirted a large dollop of mustard on a piece of bread.

  The sound of a four-wheeler outside had Murphy down the stairs to oversee the unpacking of equipment.

  Licks passed through the kitchen with his guitar case.

  “I guess I better get mine down there too,” I said aloud, not really talking to anyone in particular.

  “Grab mine while you’re back there.”

  “I will if you make me a sandwich,” I called over my shoulder.

  “On it!” Retro shouted.

  LIKE SHREVEPORT, WE WAITED BEHIND stage after tuning our guitars. When the band before us wrapped up their last song, I felt the excitement building inside me, ready to bust out. I practically vibrated from it.

  When Lars’ drums were in place, we moved onto the stage and I let the roar of the crowd roll through me. Licks introduced us, and we moved into our first song. The crowd made every bit of nervous energy ripping through my body feel like electricity.

  By the time we wrapped up our last song, they were in a frenzy, and I wished we could keep playing. Licks fired a guitar pick out into the crowd, and Lars ran the stage, slapping hands. Retro slung his bass around to his back and stepped up to the front of the stage, fist bumping a few people as he made his way over to where I stood, taking it all in.

  “Crazy, right?” he asked, practically shouting to be heard over the crowd.

  He slapped his hand against my back, bringing me out of the moment that had pulled me into a stupor. When he jogged off, I made my way to the front of the stage and slapped a few hands. A flash of yellow blew past me as security caught someone climbing onstage. The kid wasn’t very old. Maybe fifteen, if that. He darted a worried look at the security guard when he was hauled up to the tips of his toes. I didn’t think about what I was doing until I had my hand out, stopping the security guard. The kid’s eyes rounded when I leaned in and told the security guard to release him.

  The security guard gave me a dirty look, and then his eyes connected with something behind me. He stepped back and made his way off the stage as Oliver came up beside me. “What the hell are you doing? Shit like this could cause the stage to get rushed!”

  I put my hand on the kid’s shoulder, and he stiffened. “Come on, let’s get you off stage.” I walked beside the kid and shook his hand before security escorted him back into the crowd.

  Oliver kept pace with me as I walked back across the stage, waving to the crowd, and then jogged down the stairs.

  “What the hell was that about, Jared?” Oliver growled the question as he snatched his mirrored sunglasses off his face.

  “There was no reason for him to be hauled up by the scruff of his neck and dragged off the stage,” I answered without looking at him.

  “Yeah, and what happens next time… when whoever rushes the stage wants to hurt you?” Oliver asked, poking his sunglasses at my chest.

  I knocked his hand away. “Jesus, man, this isn’t a war zone. Chill the fuck out.”

  Oliver slid his sunglasses back on his face and walked away from me, shaking his head.

  Murphy, clipboard in hand, walked beside me as I followed Licks, Retro, and Lars back to the bus. Oliver stepped in behind us, like the vigilant lap dog my father had paid him to be.

  IN ORDER TO CARRY OUT Licks plan of sabotaging Woody’s song lineup, we needed to practice. The long stretch of road between Oklahoma City and Little Rock gave us that much-needed time. By the time we rolled onto the grass field behind the stage in Little Rock, we’d picked two songs that would for sure make the list.

  When I got a minute to myself, I set out to text Riley, but my phone was gone. I turned the whole bus upside down looking for it, but had no luck finding it. The guys and Murphy had even jumped in to help.

  It had to be somewhere on the bus. We were just overlooking it. Once the show in Little Rock was over, I’d continue searching for it. What really sucked was that I couldn’t remember Riley’s cell phone number to text her from one of the guy’s phones. If I didn’t find it after the second search, I’d have to see if Murphy could get me to a store to pick up another one.

  It was probably underneath one of the couches and had slid all the way to the back, knowing my luck. I’d hate to think I’d lost it anywhere but the bus.

  Murphy found me on my hands and knees, running my arm as far back as I could under the couch in the living room.

  “Found it!” I snatched my arm free and caught it when she tossed it at me.

  “You’re the best, Murphy. Where was it?” Pushing the button to unlock it, I noticed the picture I’d set as a screen saver was missing. Confused at what could have happened, I went to my picture gallery. Nothing. Not a single picture. I checked my contacts list and found that wiped too. “What the hell?”

  “One of the kitchen drawers,” Murphy said as she walked over and peeked at my phone. “Where are all your numbers?”

  Everything was gone, as if the phone had been reset. I plopped down on the couch and pulled the back of the phone off. The SD card was missing. “What the fuck?”

  I flipped the phone over and over in my hand as if it would magically fix itself. Why would someone not only reset my phone, but also take the card out of it?

  Oliver came onto the bus, overheard our conversation, and pulled the phone out of my hand. Before I could stop him, his phone was up to his ear as he walked away, rattling off a long series of numbers. I shot off the couch and followed him.

  He pulled a small bag from his bunk and turned around, bumping into me. I stepped out of his way, and then followed him back to the living room.

  From inside the backpack, he pulled out something that looked like a pen. He ran it over the backside of the phone. When it beeped, he grumbled and reported it to whomever he had on the other end of the phone.

  “I’m on it,” Oliver said, lifting his head, allowing his phone to fall into his waiting hand.

  He pulled a small screwdriver out of his pack and went to work disassembling my phone. Popping a piece out of the back, he tossed it on the table, smashing it with the rounded end of the screwdriver. The pieces were swept into his hand, and he disappeared into the bathroom. The toilet flushed, and then he returned.

  I dragged my hands down my face, realizing without him having to tell me that my phone had been bugged. What I couldn’t understand was why.

  “I called your dad. He’s getting you another phone,” Oliver said as h
e packed up his tools and put his bag away.

  “How did you know what to look for, or better yet, why did you jump to that conclusion?” Oliver knew what I meant; I could see the understanding in his expression. But he bullshitted his answer anyway.

  “Happens more than you know. At least we were able to handle it quickly.”

  “Okay…” I dragged the word out. “But why me? It’s not like I’m super famous, so why track me?”

  Oliver shook his head with a snort. “I knew it would eventually come down to this one day. Listen, Jared, I think that’s a question you need to ask your parents.”

  He left without explaining. Perfect. The fact that I’d always had a gut feeling my parents led a double life was pretty much verified by a damn cell phone.

  I’D GIVEN THE BEST PERFORMANCE I could in Little Rock. I’d left it all on the stage. At least, I thought I had. That was¸ until we were back on the bus and I had time to mull over my cell phone and whatever it was my parents had never told me.

  It ate at my thoughts from Little Rock to Jackson. Even Murphy noticed how far into myself I’d withdrawn. Lars, Retro, and Licks hadn’t witnessed the destruction of my phone, but they’d heard about it. Thankfully, they hadn’t hit me with a bunch of questions I couldn’t answer.

  All I knew was that soon, I’d be back in Alabama. Montgomery wasn’t Opp, but it was closer than I’d been in a while.

  The further we drove southeast, the more humid the air got. Like it wrapped its misty tendrils of wet heat around me, pulling at me to come home. By the time we finished up our set in Jackson, the darkness that had descended over me had lifted somewhat with the thoughts of seeing Riley again.

  I found myself feeling antsy as the hours passed until we rolled into Montgomery.

  Murphy, I noticed, seemed even tenser than I was.

  When the bus pulled into the field behind the event, Murphy went up front to stand beside Jeff, directing him on where to park. She’d never done that before, which is why I found myself getting closer to where she leaned over, peering out of the windshield. “What exactly are you looking for, Murphy?”

  Her hand flew up to her chest. She darted a quick look at me before turning her attention back to scanning our surroundings. “Easy access to get out when the band’s set is wrapped up. And the furthest spot away from Red Gaze’s tour bus.”

  She pointed to a spot beside a ribboned stake that marked the parking area for the buses. “There, over to the other side of that black bus will work.”

  When Jeff pulled into place, Murphy waited until she had Jeff’s full attention. “No one but us is allowed on the bus. If you leave the bus, lock it up. The guys take the stage a little after one pm and will be back off about forty-five minutes later. Have the storage unlocked and ready to pack. We roll out just after that to make our push for Chicago. Okay?”

  Jeff stood up and hit the button to release the door. “Don’t you worry about a thing. We’ll have this bus rollin’ before you even have a chance to sit down after the show is over.”

  Murphy stepped out of his way, and he exited the bus.

  “We don’t have much time to get ready, so make sure you get your guitar down there to be loaded, and then change your clothes. Okay?”

  I did as Murphy asked, grabbing both mine and Licks’ guitar cases. I handed them off to Jeff, going back for Retro’s while he changed his clothes. Once the guys were done in the bathroom, I locked myself behind closed doors and ran a cold washcloth over my face, arms, and chest, slipped on a new T-shirt, and brushed my teeth. I’d worry about getting a shower later.

  Murphy ushered us along to the backside of the fence, and I fought a bout of nervousness. Riley and Paige were somewhere out in the crowd.

  When we took the stage, I scanned the audience. Normally, I was in the zone, focused on the first song as Licks introduced us.

  Retro walked over to me, leaned in and said, “What are you looking for?”

  Riley popped up above the crowd. I waved at her and jogged over to where a security guard was posted alongside the stage. “Hey, you see that girl?”

  He looked to where I pointed, nodding.

  “Can you make sure her and her friend get escorted backstage after our show?”

  He smirked at me. “Sure thing.”

  I watched him push through the crowd, and then took my place in the center of the stage. Licks made the introductions, and I jumped in at the end to pump the crowd up. This was my home state—my people—and I was ready to rock their fuckin’ world.

  We kicked our set off with one of our songs and got lost in the music. I found Riley in the crowd again and winked at her, lifting my hand up to touch my pinky and thumb—the symbol of the Six. The crowd moved, surging to the beat, as we wrapped up our last song. My chest heaved and sweat ran down my face, stinging my eyes, making it impossible to see clearly.

  I slapped a few hands and darted off the stage so I could change my shirt and wash my face before I met up with Riley and Paige. It would take them a few minutes to get through the crowd, so I knew I had enough time.

  MY HEART TRIPPED UP WHEN I saw Oliver standing with Riley and Paige. Had something happened? Riley put her hand on his arm as she said something that made him laugh before he walked away. Maybe he’d been the one to escort them backstage and she was thanking him.

  I jogged the rest of the way to where she stood, picked her up off the ground, and spun her in circles. “How awesome was that?”

  “Put her down, Jared. Jesus, between you and the crowd that almost crushed her, she’s not gonna make it through today,” Paige said as she grabbed my arm, forcing me to stop.

  I set Riley down on her feet, keeping both of us steady. She leaned her head against my chest. Paige’s eyes snapped with anger.

  “The crowd almost crushed her?”

  Paige’s finger jabbed in the direction of the crowd. “It’s complete madness out there.”

  Riley’s head lifted from my chest, and she smiled at me. “You guys were really good. Is it like that at every concert?”

  I didn’t get a chance to answer her.

  My name was screamed as a girl rushed me, wrapped herself around me, and tried forcing her tongue down my throat. She’d hit me so hard, I staggered with arms pinwheeling to keep from toppling over.

  Removing her was easier said than done. I grabbed her upper arms and pushed her backward, but with her legs wrapped around me, I couldn’t push her off.

  Paige laughed instead of helping me. Probably served me right for all the stupid shit I’d pulled on her over the last few years.

  It didn’t matter what I did, she wasn’t letting go. It was like fighting off an octopus. She all but head-butted me when she wiggled free of my hold on her arms and slammed her mouth on mine for the second time. Staying on my feet was almost impossible. I was sweaty, she was sweaty, and it was like trying to hold onto a greased pig. She licked my face and shoved off my attempt to hold her back.

  I fought to turn my head away, managing to get my arms between us enough to keep her from trying it again. “Damn it, can you please stop trying to stick your tongue down my throat?”

  She giggled, fucking giggled at me, as she rubbed herself against me and said, “You and me. Your bus, your band. I don’t care, just…”

  Riley rounded behind me. ”Oh my god! Seriously? Could you be more of a whore?”

  I brought my hands up to her shoulders and locked my elbows. “Can one of you wave down security before she gets pregnant by osmosis?”

  I’d had enough.

  “Be right back!” Paige shouted.

  The crazy girl, still attached to me, laughed and threw herself backwards. I had no choice but to grab her or she’d take us both to the ground. Riley snorted, and I looked back over her shoulder to tell her how not funny I found the situation. The girl hanging from my waist took full advantage of my distraction and grabbed me by the back of the neck. I’d tried being nice, I tried to keep from hurting her, but the shi
t she pulled was beyond ridiculous. I put my hand up in front of my face and craned my neck to the side as far as I could. It didn’t stop her from trying.

  “Can you get the fuck off me? I’m not interested.” To say I was pissed didn’t cover it. I only had a few minutes with Riley as it was. Psycho girl was stealing what was left of those few precious seconds.

  I almost sagged with relief when Paige made it back with security. He walked over, radio in hand, calling for backup. I didn’t have enough energy to hold out for backup. And the crazy girl attached to me laughed when the security guy tried to pull her off me. I was done… so fuckin’ done.

  When the security guard’s radio crackled, he stepped back to answer it. That was when Riley made her move. She gave me a slight tip of her head, and I craned my neck back as far as it would go. Riley’s fist shot out. The girl went limp in my arms, and I lowered her to the ground. Well, more like let her fall to the ground.

  The security guard looked to where the unconscious girl was sprawled out on the grass and then to Riley. “You shouldn’t have done that.”

  Riley’s head dropped against the back of my shoulder. “I better not go to jail for this, Jared.”

  Having Riley at my back was a comfort of sorts. There was no way in hell I’d let them haul her off. “What was she supposed to do? The girl has been hanging off my damn neck for the past ten minutes. No one else stepped in, and even you couldn’t pry her off.”

  The security guard put his hands on his hips as he looked back down at the unconscious woman. “You mean to tell me she was assaulting you?”

  Paige stepped in front of me. “She ran at him, knocked over Riley, and launched herself at him. He asked her several times to let him go, and she ignored him.” Her arms came up, crossing over her chest, and she planted her feet. Paige had settled in to defend us, no matter the consequences.

  When the security guard made no move towards us, Paige looked over her shoulder at me. “Are you all right, Jared?”