End Note

by Sonya Loveday

  In a crate beside his drum set, he fished out an adapter and slid it under the strings. I cringed, waiting for the telltale pop of a broken string, but it didn’t happen. Lars held Stella while I pulled the Les Paul from around my neck.

  Once I had Stella in tune, Lars had me run through the beginning of the song. On the second run, the guys jumped in and we spent another thirty minutes making sure we could play it without making any mistakes.

  When Murphy stood up from the couch, she waved to us and pointed at her watch. “Time to wrap it up, guys. Oliver has a crew coming in to move the equipment over to the concert arena soon.”

  Practice was over. Either we had it, or we didn’t.

  Lars broke his drums down as we put our guitars away. When we were finished, Oliver escorted us back upstairs. When we stepped off the elevator to the top floor, there was a table set out with sandwiches and drinks. My dad stood in the kitchen with a laptop open in front of him. When we filed into the room, he closed the lid and slipped it inside a worn leather bag.

  “I had food brought up for you. Thought you might be ready to eat by now. Jared, your mom dropped in a few minutes ago and left a bag on your bed. Oliver, the transportation you requested will be here in approximately one hour. Good luck tonight. We’ll see you after the show for dinner.” He was all business, shooting off each thing he said in rapid fire. But he did it with a smile on his face as he wrapped his fingers around the handles of the leather bag, before making his way to the elevator.

  The guys answered in return, saying ‘thank you’ around the food they’d shoved into their mouths. I left them and went to see what my mom had left for me.

  There was a small, brown paper bag. Embarrassment flooded me. No, she wouldn’t have… I opened it and peered inside. Oh, but she had. Condoms. My mom had brought me condoms. The bedroom door closed and I spun around, finding Murphy eying me with a look of curiosity. I gripped the bag in my hand, the paper crumpling in between my fingers.

  “You okay?” she asked, looking at the bag in my hands.

  “Yeah, I’m okay. You… you just startled me.”

  She grabbed for the bag. I tried moving it behind my back, out of her reach, but her hand caught the edge of the bag and it ripped, causing the box of condoms to tumble to the floor.

  Heat flooded my cheeks as she snatched them up and gave me a murderous look. “What exactly did you tell your mom?”

  I wasn’t sure how she made the question sound more like a cry of outrage, but she did, and I found myself scrambling to apologize. “I didn’t say a word. I swear, Murphy. I’m just as shocked about those as you are.”

  She snorted and tossed the box at me. I made no move for it as it bounced off my chest and rolled along the floor.

  Murphy stormed away and snatched the closet doors open. Hangers slid across the rack in jerky movements. “That’s great, Jared. How the hell am I supposed to look her in the eye now?”

  A groan rolled its way past my lips and I sat heavily on the foot of the bed, watching Murphy yank a shirt from its hanger. She spun around, her eyes snapping with anger and embarrassment. When she stormed past the bed en route to the dresser, I grabbed her arm and pulled her to a stop in front of me. “I didn’t tell her anything. She asked me though.” Murphy’s eyebrow arched, but before she could blast me again, I cut her short. “Murphy, there’s nothing to tell her. Hell, I couldn’t explain it, even if I wanted to.”

  “Nice, Jared. So what? We’ll just be fuck buddies, and I can just live off whatever scraps you give me?” There was no hiding the hurt in her voice, and hearing her say that pissed me off.

  “That’s bullshit, Murphy, and you know it. Look, my mom left these on the bed. Big deal. She made an assumption about us. I never said one way or the other what’s going on with us. But come on,” I said, walking over to the closet and reaching for one of Murphy’s shirts. Holding it up in front of my chest, I grinned at her. “Does this look like something I’d wear?” Murphy bit back a smile. “She took one look at our clothes mixed together in the closet and realized we’re sharing a room.”

  Murphy’s eyes filled with unshed tears. “I just hung up our damn clothes. How was she was able to gain all that insight, just from that?”

  “She’s a mom, Murphy. They can do better detective work than most detectives.”

  She clutched the shirt in her hands against her chest. “What did you tell her then?”

  She worried her bottom lip with her teeth as she waited for me to speak. Was Murphy just as confused as I was? “I told her that this is all new for us too, and that I just wanted her to be happy for me.”

  Murphy backed up until she was leaning against the dresser. “Maybe this is a bad idea… Us, that is.”

  I pushed myself up and walked over to where she stood, head down, staring at the box on the floor inches from her feet. I picked the box up, and she winced. A box of condoms and my nosey mother would not be the reason Murphy walked away from me. Reaching past her, I pulled the drawer behind her open, forcing her to step forward into me, and dropped the box inside. I used the movement of my body pressing into hers to close the drawer. She sucked in a sharp hiss and put her hand on my chest.

  “I might not be able to pinpoint what’s going on between us, but I know that I’ve never felt the way I feel about you for anyone before, that much I can guarantee. And I don’t want this to end. Ever. And I think you feel the same about me too. I think you like me just as much, and there’s nothing you can do about it except take me as I am. Interfering mother and all. Because I’m not letting you go, Murphy. Not with out one helluva fight anyway.”

  My heart pounded in my ears as I watch her every move, waiting for any sign that I was right. That she liked me just as much. That it wasn’t a waste of time between us, and I hadn’t lost an amazing girl who had changed my entire outlook on falling in love.

  Just when I was beginning to think I’d read her signals wrong, her arms shot out and wrapped around my neck. And that was all it took. Her lips crashed into mine, and I lifted her up as an overwhelming amount of emotion crashed through my body. She wrapped her legs around my waist and I walked us to the bed, where I laid her down and crawled on top of her. I wanted nothing more than to fill Skylar Murphy with every feeling that threatened to burst from me.

  She groaned and pushed at my chest. “We don’t have time, Jared.”

  I kissed a path from her mouth to her neck and ran my hand up her side to cup her breast, making it harder to move from her. Her head lolled to the side as if she too wanted to forget about time and give into the moment.

  The door rattled in its frame. “Do not make me come in there and break you two apart.”

  Lars muffled the laugh that strangled the end of his sentence. Murphy squirmed underneath me, doing nothing to help the situation.

  Damn Lars and his big ass mouth.

  Murphy wiggled her way free, and I swatted at her ass. She squeaked and rubbed her backside. My blood boiled for her. Every muscle tightened to keep from tossing her back on the bed.

  I wanted so badly to sink inside of her.

  I fisted the comforter in my hands and took deep, even breaths. Murphy made her escape to the bathroom, leaving the door wide open.

  I tried everything from picturing myself riding the Jet Ski at the Hole, to chord runs for a new song I had brewing in my head. Nothing worked.

  Nothing.

  The shower hissed when she turned it on and still I sat there, willing my body to relax.

  Knowing she was only a few steps away made it impossible to even think straight. I braced my elbows on my knees, dropping my head into my hands. Images of Murphy standing under the water with soap rolling down over the tips of her breasts, her eyes fluttering on a moan as my fingers trail up the inside of her thigh and spread her…

  I shot off the bed, ripped open the bedroom door, fleeing from the temptation of Murphy.

  BACKSTAGE WAS A RIOT OF activity.

  The arena was packed,
bodies everywhere. The sound of a thousand-plus voices rolled through the air, all waiting for the moment the lights dropped. There was an overwhelming intensity, watching it all come together. From the cables that snaked along the floor, to the hustle and flow of all the stagehands.

  It was madness.

  It was everything I’d hoped it would be.

  Everything I’d dreamed.

  And more.

  Murphy led us over to a guy holding a two-way radio, who was rattling off directions to someone on the other end. When he noticed her, he slid it onto his belt and extended his hand. “Good to see you again, Murphy.”

  “You too, Sullivan. The guys are ready. They just need to tune up.”

  Sullivan motioned to someone behind us. “Al will take you to your holding room. Your guitars are already there. Get tuned and be ready. Show starts in thirty.”

  As soon as we were secured behind closed doors, Oliver slipped out.

  It took me a minute to get my hands to stop shaking before I could tune my guitar. Licks walked over and gave me a hand towel. “Nervous?” he asked.

  I wiped my hands, tossing it back to him. “I’d be lying if I said no, but I’m not freaking out or anything.”

  Lars slipped his drumsticks in his back pocket and took the towel from Licks. He wiped his hands and then snapped it out, popping Licks on the arm. “Just ’cause you get a case of stage fright doesn’t mean you have to pass it on to Bama.”

  Licks gave Lars the finger, snatched the towel from him, and flipped it onto his shoulder. “Whatever. Not all of us get to hide behind a big-ass set of drums.”

  Lars laughed. “Dude, you rock the stage every fuckin’ time. You need to stop thinking about it and just roll with it.”

  Retro finished tuning, slipped his pick between his lips, and wiped his hands down the legs of his pants. He’d turned quiet since we arrived at the arena. It made me wonder if his quietness came from a case of nerves too.

  Murphy watched us from across the room, not saying anything, only checking her watch every few minutes until Oliver strolled in and held the door open. “Come on, Murphy. Let’s get these guys on stage.”

  We walked out with guitars over our shoulders and Stella in my hand, following Oliver to where we’d take the stage. Murphy walked beside me, brushing against my arm every so often. The brief contact settled me as I focused on her nearness.

  The closer we got to the stage, the louder the crowd seemed. They were pumped for the show to start. When the lights dropped, there was a brief pause. It was like everyone took a deep breath together, and then all hell broke loose. I could hear them. Hundreds of voices all merged. Hollers, whistles, screams… they all blended, piercing my ears as we lined up to take the stage.

  Lars led us, stopping when he made it to the last step. He looked back over his shoulder and grinned.

  Oliver and Murphy moved off to a side area of the stage that was sectioned off for security as an announcer came over the speakers welcoming everyone to the arena.

  My heart hammered against my chest as warmth spread out along my limbs, filling me with an adrenaline rush that anchored me to the moment.

  Lars pulled his drumsticks out of his pockets, slapping them against his leg until the announcement was over. Seconds were stretched out. The sound of the crowd roared in my ears as Lars led us on stage.

  Light poured down over us with an intense heat that threatened to melt me where I stood. There was a guitar stand already on stage for Stella. I set her down and grabbed the cable, jacking the Les Paul in, and made my way to the front of the stage. Cupping my hand above my eyes, I was able to make out the first few rows of people, but that was all.

  Licks hollered, fist pumping the air as he grabbed the microphone. “Hello, Chicago!”

  Lars slapped his drumsticks together.

  That was all it took. The crowd was ours, and we kicked off our first song.

  BY THE TIME WE LEFT the stage, I was partially blinded from the sweat in my eyes. The crowed roared for more, but our time was up. I left the stage with a huge grin plastered on my face as we passed by the lead guitar player of Dead Galaxy. He bumped his fist into mine as he laughed. “Fuckin’ A, man. How the hell are we supposed to top that?”

  My chest heaved as I tried to catch my breath. Someone handed me a towel, and I wiped my face as I answered him, “We just got ’em warmed up for ya.”

  He slapped my shoulder and jogged up the steps, taking the stage. When we made it over to Murphy and Oliver, there were stagehands ready to take our guitars. We handed them over and made our way down the steps.

  There was no way we could talk to one another over the sound coming from the crowd. Murphy and Oliver walked side by side until we hit a wall of people with backstage passes.

  It was surreal, the amount of people waiting for autographs when the main-event band was kicking off their concert on stage. Murphy handed over markers as pictures were snapped. Girls draped themselves against us. Even as sweaty as we were, they didn’t seem to care.

  Murphy kept her distance, leaving Oliver and a handful of security to keep everyone in check. I couldn’t tell you how many pictures were taken, or how many girls tried to cop a feel. My eyes were locked on Murphy as she chatted with a guy who’d singled her out. They stood close, talking while the madness around me played out.

  The next thing I knew, Oliver pulled us from the crowd. Murphy stepped in beside me, linking her fingers with mine as we walked back to the van.

  My ears hummed, adjusting to the quiet.

  Licks spun around, walking backwards to talk to me. “That was some crazy shit! Dude, we coulda had like five chicks each…”

  Lars socked him in the arm. “Shut up, dumbass. You’re yelling loud enough for the entire city to hear you.”

  Licks just spun around, put his hands on his chest, and tipped his head up at the sky with a shout.

  I couldn’t help but laugh at him.

  When we got to the van, Oliver pulled me to the side. “Your parents wanted me to tell you that plans have changed, and they won’t be able to meet with you for dinner.”

  I nodded, acknowledging what he said, and climbed into the van. I’d been down that road so many times before with them that I brushed it off, but it didn’t make it hurt any less.

  Murphy took the front seat next to Oliver, and we made our way back to Cole Enterprise. The guys joked, carrying on from the high of playing in front of a crowd. I tried to keep up with all of it, but I found myself wondering what could have been so important to my parents that they had to cancel their plans with me.

  MURPHY SAT ON THE BED, waiting for me to get out of the shower. She’d changed into a T-shirt and thin, cotton pants. I walked over and sat down beside her, pulling her into my lap.

  “I’m sorry your parents canceled on you,” she said, wrapping her arms around me.

  A sigh slipped out as I pulled her closer. “I’m kinda used to it. And anyway, I’m ready to just sit down and chill for a while.”

  Murphy moved from my arms. “You guys were awesome out there tonight.”

  I closed my eyes, reliving the moment with a smile that threatened to swallow my face. “That was probably one of the most epic moments of my life.”

  The bed jostled under me, and my eyes snapped open when Murphy settled on my lap facing me. She draped her arms over my shoulders. Her smile matched mine. “Although, I have to admit, watching all those girls around you made me a little antsy.”

  “Is that the new word for jealous?”

  She rolled her eyes.

  “’Cause it’s okay. You can be jealous all you want.”

  She nibbled her bottom lip, brows pulling together, and tilted her head.

  “What?”

  “You said tonight was probably one of the most epic moments of your life.”

  “I did.”

  “So what does that mean? What other moments were comparable?”

  I ran my hands down her back, stopping on her hips
, and yanked her against me. She gasped and tried to wiggle backwards, but I wasn’t letting her go. “I have you right where I want you, Skylar Murphy. Don’t think for a moment I’m ready to let you go just yet.”

  She snorted a laugh. “So you’re going to evade the question by putting the moves on me?”

  “I’m not avoiding anything. I just wanted you against me. To feel you melt around me. That’s the moments that are the most memorable.”

  “You’re just saying that to get in my pants.”

  “But your logic is flawed,” I said, tightening my fingers against her hips.

  Her response was breathy. “How so?”

  “I haven’t removed a single piece of your clothing. I’m just holding you against me, wanting you to feel what you do to me. Hoping it’s driving you as crazy as it’s driving me.”

  Her eyes widened, sparking with need. I could feel her tense up, her legs gripping my hips. I needed her—wanted her more than I ever wanted anything. And it scared the shit out of me. I forced my hold on her to loosen, but I kept my hands on her hips.

  “You say all the things a girl wants to hear, Jared. But I wonder how long it will be before you wish you hadn’t said them… and you move on.”

  It hit me then. The need to show her I wasn’t just playing around. I really wanted her, and no one else. Would it always feel like that, or was she right? I’d never taken a relationship seriously, but with Murphy, it felt different. It was different. But how? How did I know she was the one? She’d wormed her way inside of me when I wasn’t looking, that I did know. I’d been drawn to her ever since she’d walked into my life. Neither of us knew much about the other, beside our instinctual feelings. Did that make us doomed from the start?

  Murphy pushed away from me and crossed the room. “I get it, Jared. You don’t have to say anything. Okay?”

  When she turned away, heading for the door, I bolted upright from the bed, catching her before she could pull the door open and escape.