Racing Hard (Dirt Track Dogs Book 4)

by P. Jameson

  Tana glanced up. Drake sat in a chair across the room, Ella planted in his lap. He was more laid back than Magic any day, and he was an actual alpha. The frown between his eyebrows was the only clue that he was concerned. And the way he chomped that damn bubblegum was annoying as hell.

  Blister leaned against the wall and pulled Annie back into him. He lowered his face to her hair and breathed deep. The act was so intimate, Tana had to look away.

  Punk sat in a chair, chewing her thumbnail to death. Between her and Owyn, there was enough nervous energy to light up a city block.

  Tana’s gaze landed on Surge. He stared at her, and even though he was all the way across the room, she felt too close to him. The way he’d reacted at the scene… it was like what she’d done somehow affected him too. And of course it did. It affected them all. The idea that you could be driving along and accidently kill another shifter wasn’t common enough to be of any concern.

  Yet here they were.

  Once again her stomach heaved at the idea of what she’d done. How could this have happened?

  But Surge had held her hand like they were partners. Like her problems were his. Like they were in this together even though they’d only spent a few weeks knowing each other.

  Had she ever had that before?

  Maybe with Owyn, but the way he isolated himself made it feel different than what happened with Surge.

  His unrelenting gaze left her feeling bare. And no matter how long she met his eyes, he wouldn’t look away.

  “She likes you, baby girl.” His tone wasn’t lighthearted like it normally was. It was quiet. Contemplative. It was odd and sad. Like this entire situation. And it didn’t suit him. “I can hear that purring all the way over here.”

  Owyn stopped pacing and glared at Surge. If he even thought about starting with the big brother shit, she’d lose it.

  Staring down at the downy ball of fluff, all Tana felt was despair. For all the baby had lost. For being the one to take it from her.

  Tears pricked her eyes for the thousandth time in the last two hours.

  All she could do now was give the baby what she’d lost. A mama. A temporary one anyway. Until her clan could be located. Tana’s mind was made up. She’d do her damnedest to comfort the sweet kitty. Diz would find her family and then Tana would make this right. If they demanded her blood, so be it.

  “Maybe we should go look for Diz and Beast,” Owyn said.

  Drake shook his head. “Give ‘em time. They know what they’re doing.”

  Owyn went to the window to look out. “Damn it. I’m calling Magic to come. He needs to be here.” He reached into his pocket for his phone.

  “No,” Tana said.

  “He’ll fix this, Tana. He’s good at this shit.”

  This shit. Like her accident was a simple mistake that could be brushed under the rug with a little sweet talk. A little clan politics. But it wasn’t that easy. She’d taken a shifter life. Left a young without a mother. She’d caused irreparable damage.

  “No,” she repeated, careful not to raise her voice and stir the baby. “I don’t need Magic to fix my problems.”

  Owyn frowned in disagreement, sliding his phone back into his jeans pocket. “Well, you need something.”

  Outside, someone yelled and the dogs jerked to attention. Drake was the first to get to the door, Blister and Surge on his heels. Tana stood with the kitten in her arms and started after them.

  Suddenly Owyn crowded her. “Stay here,” he demanded.

  “Fuck you,” she hissed in return. He wasn’t going to tell her what to do. Not now when there were more important things to worry about.

  Tana stepped around him and caught sight of Diz through the door. He was naked as the day he was born, his dark skin coated with blood, and in his arms he held the mangled body of another bobcat.

  “Help!” he yelled, as if he didn’t realize his pack mates were right there.

  He climbed the steps, his eyes glued to the animal he carried.

  “What happened?” Drake barked. “Where’s Beast?”

  “She needs help,” Diz rasped, trying to push his way through the door. “Now. Damn it, where’s Ella?”

  “Where’s Beast?” Punk’s shrill cry stopped him momentarily.

  “Right behind me. Stayed wolf just in case. Fucking let me in.”

  Punk rushed outside, trading him places. Tana watched her run down the stairs as Beast’s wolf emerged from the thick of trees beside the house. She ran at him and he shifted just as she reached him, catching her as she wrapped her legs around his waist. Their mouths became one in the next breath, kissing furiously to wipe away the fear.

  Damn. It was beautiful, the love they had for each other. The commitment. Punk never had to worry if her mate was stepping out on her. The wolves didn’t do that shit.

  Tana turned back to the commotion inside. The atmosphere was rife with tension, commands being called out, arguments ripping, and… Surge laughing. Miraculously, the kitten slept soundly in Tana’s arms.

  “I don’t fucking know,” Diz yelled. “I found her in a ravine. She’d been shredded half to death. And… and she kept saying… she kept saying Arkansas. I don’t know anything else. Just… fix her will ya? Fuck.”

  Ella clenched her jaw, clearly trying to find patience to deal with Diz’s stress.

  “Watch it,” Drake snarled, grabbing Diz by the back of the neck and squeezing when he went to growl at him.

  Ella held her hand up. “I’ll try, Diz. You have to believe that. But she’s hurt bad. Understand?”

  Diz shook his head as much as Drake would let him. “Don’t tell me that. Help her.”

  Ella started barking out orders, and Blister and Annie rushed around gathering supplies.

  “Shit, shit, shit,” Surge chanted under his breath. “I-I’m going to go make food, yeah? So she can eat when she wakes up. That sound good? You guys got this?”

  “Go, Surge,” Drake growled.

  “Let’s go,” he breathed, grabbing Tana’s arm and dragging her with him to the kitchen.

  She would’ve resisted but she didn’t want to watch another shifter die tonight. She couldn’t. And it certainly looked like that was going to happen. And clearly this cat belonged to the same clan as the baby. Tana’s heart broke for the young.

  In the kitchen, Surge released her and dug around in the cabinet retrieving a large mixing bowl. From another shelf, he grabbed two kitchen towels. He laid one in the bottom of the bowl.

  “Here,” he said. “Lay her down.”

  Tana frowned. “In the bowl?”

  Surge glanced at her with a nervous laugh. A laugh void of any smile. That was his tell, she realized. It was only a true laugh when it reached his eyes. But that blue gaze didn’t look amused in the least. The corners of his eyes were tight with tension. There were a million emotions dancing beneath the surface, and none of them were humorous.

  “I’m not going to cook her, Tana. The baby can rest and you can help me. She won’t be more than a step away.”

  Tana glanced at the kitten. She was out for a while. It wouldn’t hurt to let go of her for a few minutes. Especially if she was where Tana could see her at all times.

  Careful not to jostle the baby much, she moved her to the bowl and Surge tucked the other towel around her for warmth.

  “There,” he murmured. “She’s going to be okay.”

  “I’m not so sure.”

  Neither of them were talking about her current position. They were referring to her future.

  “I won’t give you that dumbass shit about kids being resilient because it’s not true. Blister is proof of that. I am. We all are. It’s just what adults say to make themselves feel better. But… she will be okay. She’ll adjust to what life has dealt her the way we all do.”

  Tana wiped away a stray tear. She didn’t cry often, but it was hard to hide her despair over this situation.

  “When did you become so wise?” she scoffed. “Aren’t you
the party boy joker of the pack.”

  He pulled his gaze away from the baby, piercing Tana with those intense eyes. “You don’t know me well enough to make judgments like that. But that’s okay. We’re going to fix that. Very soon.”

  He set a small saucepan on the stove and went to the refrigerator.

  “I just meant… you’re never serious.”

  “Because I laugh? Because I smile? Because I’m loud? Like to have fun with my brothers?” He glanced back at her, one eyebrow raised. “You there when I’m lying in bed with insomnia? Because that’s some serious shit. Or what about when I’m racing? You’re not in the car with me, and I’m damn serious then.”

  Tana crossed her arms, skeptical. “When you’re racing?”

  “Hell yeah.” He turned back to the fridge. “What do you think our baby can drink? Cream? Not good for cats but she’s part human.”

  Our baby. Damn it. She knew he didn’t mean those words the way they sounded, but they still made her stomach clench in longing. Absently, she traced the scar behind her shirt.

  “Milk will be fine until we can get formula in the morning.”

  After pouring some in the pan, he set the heat to low so it could warm. Tana watched the muscles of his back flex through his t-shirt as he bent to grab a soup pot from a low shelf. He filled the pot with water from the sink and set it to the side. Pulling a bag of potatoes from the pantry, he dumped half of them in the basin.

  “Come here.” His demand was sexy and helped take her mind off what was happening in the other room. Surge handed her a small brush. “Scrub these clean.”

  She went to work on the potatoes while he started chopping veggies—celery, green onions, and carrots—and dumped them in the pot. He was quite skilled with the knife, which she hadn’t expected. After weeks of living with the dogs, she knew Surge was their main meal provider, but she’d spent most of her time eating Annie’s food.

  “What are we making?”

  “Potato soup.”

  “That’s my favorite.”

  “I know.”

  She turned to look at him, but he didn’t falter in his knife work.

  “How did you know?”

  He eyed her. “I’ve found the empty bowl in the morning. Twice now. Kitty cat likes her midnight snack, huh?”

  Heat creeped up the back of Tana’s neck.

  “Working all the time makes me hungry.”

  Surge chuckled. “Good thing I like to feed people then.”

  When she’d finished washing the potatoes, he diced them and set the pot on a burner. As he used the salt and pepper shakers, she realized just how hot it was that he liked to cook. He could command a stove as well as she commanded a table saw.

  Some of the liquid bubbled over the top of the pan, causing the gas flame to flare, and Surge jerked back.

  Laughter bubbled from his throat, and he shook his head. “Gets me every time.”

  “Does the fire bother you?”

  “Aw, yeah. You’ve heard all about our history then.”

  Tana nodded. “The gist of it.”

  Surge stirred the soup before adding cream to the pot. “It doesn’t bother me really. Not much anyway. Just surprises me sometimes.” He glanced at the bowl holding the kitten. “What do you think they call her?”

  Tana sighed, letting her fingers trail through the baby’s soft fur. “I don’t know. But isn’t she sweet?”

  “You want young someday?” he asked while he buttered a loaf of French bread in preparation for the oven.

  But his question paralyzed her. She couldn’t even swallow. Because there was no good answer for it.

  Did she want young?

  Yes.

  Would she ever get what she wanted?

  No.

  She managed to clear her throat. “That… that’s a personal question.”

  He glanced at her, one eyebrow raised. “Yeah. So?”

  “So. Do you want young?”

  He bent to push the bread into the oven and then straightened to face her. “I’ve thought about it. I’m not sure I have an answer yet.”

  “What’s that mean?”

  One shoulder lifted in a shrug. “I guess it depends on the female I decide to spend my life with.”

  His answer intrigued her. “Decide? As if you have a choice?”

  Surge’s lips curled up slightly, but once again, it didn’t reach his eyes. In fact, his eyes had grown dark. Sad. “I do. We all do really, if we want to fight our instincts for the sake of love. But in my case, I wouldn’t even have to do that. I have complete freedom to choose my mate.”

  Tana frowned, waiting for what she already knew was coming. And then he said it, his words skimming over her skin and leaving chills in their wake.

  “My intended is dead.”

  Chapter Five

  My intended is dead.

  There were any number of better ways he could’ve said that. My mate doesn’t exist. My mate is no longer of this world. My intended has passed on and there’s no longer a bond for my wolf to hold on to.

  But why sugarcoat it. Why dress it up to look pretty when it wasn’t?

  Tana stood staring at him as though she was waiting for a punch line. The female was going to have to learn he had a serious side sooner or later.

  Surge turned to stir the soup, testing the potatoes. It was almost done. Soup was comfort food, and the whole damn lot of them needed comforting. No one was left unshaken by the events of the night, and he still wasn’t sure how the other female bobcat would fare.

  And on that note, what the hell had happened to them? Three female cats. No clan. One injured so badly she was near death. The other hopeless enough to try suicide. Where was mama cat’s mate?

  “Mine is too.” Tana’s quiet voice pulled him out of his thoughts.

  He looked up from the soup.

  “My intended is dead too.”

  Surge almost laughed. Not because it was funny. In fact, he wanted to comfort Tana. He knew the pain of losing that bond. But all he felt was relief. He’d been wondering about her mating status since she’d first arrived, and he’d decided he didn’t care. He intended to make her his whether her mate existed or not.

  But knowing she was as free as he was… that changed the game.

  He put the spoon down and stepped closer to her so he could look into her golden eyes. “I’m sorry for your loss.” He let the truth come through his words. Anything that was a source of pain for her made him sorry.

  Tana crossed her arms, a wry smile forming on her lips. “Don’t be. It was no loss. He was a fucking asshole.”

  Surge’s eyebrows shot into his forehead as Tana went to the fridge and pulled out a beer, popping the cap and guzzling. She set it on the counter and took a deep breath.

  “Let me school you on cat mates, babe. This shit I see going on around here, the lovey dovey, only want my mate happy, only have eyes for her… that shit, the panthers don’t work like that. Neither do any werecats I know of. We don’t mate for love. We mate to procreate.”

  The hell?

  What kind of arrangement was that? Though it explained the absence of mama cat’s baby daddy.

  “Male werecats hunt their intended. When they find her, they claim her. Usually without asking first. Knock her up. And while she’s playing incubator for their litter, he finds other females to fuck. The older generation was the worst. My father would bring his conquests to our home and fuck them right in the bed he shared with my mom. And she let him. It’s our way, she’d say, ‘I belong to him, but he doesn’t belong to me.’”

  The disgust on her face mirrored what Surge felt. No wolf would ever dream of behaving that way. Nor would they want to. Wolves were monogamous, heart, soul, and body.

  “That’s bullshit,” he ground out.

  “It’s sick.”

  “Your clan? The males… Owyn, Renner… they do this?” He’d get her out of there. He wouldn’t let her live with a group of barbarians.

  Tana
shook her head. “No. Our generation was the first to put their foot down. Females like me, said no to mating. Males like Magic made sure our wishes were respected. Renner was the first to mate in years. He broke Magic’s no mating rule, but…” She shrugged. “Renner’s different.”

  “Different how?”

  “He loves his mate. He’d never do anything to hurt her. Worships the ground she walks on. And he wouldn’t dick around on her either.”

  Surge frowned, his eyes falling on the ball of fur resting on the counter. The kitten was so innocent. She’d been dealt a shit hand. She’d lost her mother, and now when she grew, she wouldn’t even have the love and dedication of a mate.

  Where was the goddamn hope in this situation?

  “I don’t want that for her,” he murmured, running his fingers gently over her ears.

  “I don’t either,” Tana croaked. “But it’s not up to us.”

  Her concern for the babe tore at his heart. This wasn’t a woman who didn’t want young. But her hesitation to answer his question left him confused.

  “How did you… escape him?”

  “Another personal question.”

  “Yeah, well. Get used to it. I don’t have boundaries. I just say what I want, and what I want is to know about you.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Oh, well okay then. I guess I’ll just tell you,” she said dryly. “Because that’s how things work. You want something and—voila!—you get it, right? Yeah, no. I don’t think so.” She crossed her arms over her chest and Surge was tempted to let his gaze fall there. The mere idea had him growing hard. But he needed to show her he was serious. That he meant business.

  “So, what will it be, baby girl? A little give and take? I show you mine, you show me yours?”

  A smirk brought one side of her mouth up before she let her gaze travel the length of his body.

  And fuck yeah, he hadn’t expected that calculating perusal of his goods. His wolf quit pacing and paid attention.

  If his animal had anything say in it, whatever had a vagina would work for satisfying his lust. And… sometimes that wasn’t even a requirement.