Rae of Sunshine

by Micalea Smeltzer

  “He distances himself from people he doesn’t really know,” Thea inserted. “But with you he doesn’t. He’s just Cade…there’s no façade around you. He lets you see the real him.”

  “I’m still kinda lost.” I frowned, looking between the three of them.

  Thea tried to explain. “Cade is used to people wanting something from him because of who he is. He has to keep a shield up or he’d lose his mind. Do you have any idea how many girls have thrown themselves at him in the hopes of getting pregnant because they think he’s going to go pro and they want to trap him?”

  I absorbed her words. That had to be hard. “I’m just not interested in your brother that way.” Lie. My body definitely was, but my mind was firmly against it.

  “Then maybe you could at least try to be his friend,” she spoke softly. “He needs more of those.”

  Friends? Cade’s friend? Could I do that?

  I wasn’t so sure.

  I wasn’t sure I could be anyone’s friend anymore, but…I felt like maybe Thea and I were friends now. So maybe I could try to make the effort with Cade. After all, my plans to lay low and keep to myself had failed miserably.

  “I’ll try,” I sighed and Thea brightened at my words.

  “Try what?” Cade asked, putting a plate down in front of me

  “It’s not important.” I smiled at him in the hopes of distracting him. “Thanks for this.”

  “No problem.” He waved a hand dismissively.

  We all ate and made idle chat. When we were finished everyone was ready to leave. We headed back to the parking lot and started to go our separate ways.

  “Rae?” Cade called when Thea and I parted from the group.

  “Yeah?” I turned around, my brows raised in question.

  “Thank you.”

  I opened my mouth to ask him what he was thanking me for, but before I could respond he turned his back to me and disappeared into the darkness.

  six

  The alarm on Thea’s nightstand pierced the room.

  She sat straight up, her hair puffed around her head like a fluffy cotton ball, and groaned. “I swear that alarm is the spawn of Satan.” She smacked her hand roughly against the top. “Die motherfucker. Die.”

  I snorted, pulling my damp hair back into a bun. I was already back from my run and freshly showered.

  “You know what else should die?” She turned sleepy eyes my way and then answered before I could respond. “Monday. Monday should die a fiery and painful death.” She flopped down on the bed and covered her eyes with the crook of her elbow. “I fucking hate mornings.”

  I laughed. “I think we’ve established that.”

  “And you don’t help,” she continued. “You’re always so chipper in the mornings.”

  “Chipper?” I questioned. That wasn’t a word I’d ever use to describe myself.

  “Okay, maybe not chipper, but you’re definitely a morning person.” She lowered her arm and cracked her eyes open. “Look at you dressed and ready to conquer the world. It’s not fair. I don’t even feel like brushing my teeth.”

  “Ew, Thea. That’s gross.” I moved across the room for my backpack and camera case. I was hoping to get a morning shoot in. The campus was so pretty in the early hours.

  “Hey, at least I’m honest.” She rolled over then, but rolled too far and fell face first on the floor. I slapped a hand over my mouth in the hope that she wouldn’t hear me laughing at her. “If this is a sign of what’s to come today,” she mumbled, turning onto her back, “then I want a fucking do over.”

  “Sorry,” I offered her a hand, “life doesn’t work like that.” I wish.

  She took my hand and I helped her up. “Thanks,” she grumbled, heading for the bathroom. “I’ll see you for lunch.”

  I nodded even though she couldn’t see me. “See you later,” I called, heading for the door.

  Since I had a while before my first class I spent my time walking around campus, snapping pictures here and there when something piqued my interest. I didn’t know why, but the moment I raised the camera to my eye I always saw the world in a different light. The chaos diminished and I saw only the beauty.

  In the distance I saw a guy sitting against a tree with a book in his lap. He was completely absorbed in the words on the page and nothing around him seemed to matter. I focused on him and snapped his picture.

  He looked up then and it was like someone kicked me in the gut. It was Cade. He grinned and I smiled in response as he raised a hand to wave me over.

  I stood still for a moment, reluctant to join him. But I didn’t see how I had much choice unless I ran away.

  I closed the distance between us and he smiled up at me from where he sat on the ground.

  He lifted a hand to shield his eyes from the morning sun. “Well,” he chuckled warmly; his blue eyes making my stomach flip, “if it isn’t my morning Rae of Sunshine.”

  “Still with the silly nickname?”

  “Always,” he shrugged, causing his gray sweater to pull taut across his shoulders, “I like it.”

  “It’s stupid.” I muttered, still standing there looking at him.

  “That’s your opinion.” He patted the spot of grass beside him. “Join me for breakfast. I’ll share.”

  That’s when I noticed he had a to-go box of breakfast food from the diner Thea and I had gone to a while ago.

  When I didn’t move, his voice grew stern. “Sit, Rae.”

  I sat. He was rather bossy and I couldn’t seem to ignore his orders.

  “Eat. You’re too thin.” He pointed to the smorgasbord of food he had.

  “You know,” I picked up a piece of buttered toast, “most guys think there’s no such thing as too thin.”

  “Bullshit,” he chuckled. “That’s something girls believe because they’re often times way too self-conscious. Guys like curves. We want something to grab ahold of.” He raised his hands in the air, miming that he was grabbing some invisible breasts. “No one wants to cuddle a twig.”

  I shook my head and nodded at the book in his lap. “What are you reading?”

  “Do you really want to know?” He chuckled, bowing his head so that the longer strands of his hair hid his face from sight.

  “Yeah.” I picked up the fork and took a bite of scrambled eggs. I wasn’t worried about using the same fork as Cade. After all, he already drank my coffee and we couldn’t forget the mouth to mouth incident.

  He lifted the book in the air and I tried to hide my surprise.

  “Harry Potter? Interesting choice of reading material,” I commented.

  “I like fantasy books,” he admitted. “Historical ones too, like old westerns, but mostly fantasy. I mean, who hasn’t at least once wished they could be a wizard?”

  I bowed my head and a small smile graced my lips. “I will admit to at one time thinking it would be really cool if I could do magic.”

  “Ah, something we agree on,” he grinned, setting the book in the grass.

  I don’t know why but I lifted my camera and took a picture of the book. It looked so pretty lying there with the grass sticking up around it and a few fallen leaves.

  “What’s with the camera?” Cade asked, picking up a bottle of water and taking a sip.

  “You know how you like to play with a ball?” I smirked. Waving my camera around a bit, I explained, “This is my toy. My life actually.” I lowered the camera into my lap and stared down at it.

  “So…is that what you’re studying?” He picked at a piece of toast.

  I nodded and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. “Yeah. I mean, I know realistically I’ll probably never be able to travel the world and take pictures like I want and I’ll more likely be stuck doing weddings and family portraits, but as long as I have my camera and can use it I’ll be happy.” I let out a breath and looked up for his reaction. He watched me with a calculated gaze, thinking deeply. Before he could say anything, I asked, “What are you studying?”

  “Architec
ture.”

  “Really?” I reeled back in surprise. I hadn’t expected that. “I thought you’d say like sports medicine or something like that.”

  He threw his head back and let out a bellowing laugh. “Is that all you think of me? That I’m some dumb jock that only thinks about football?” I nodded, because it was true. He chuckled lowly and shook his head. “You don’t know me at all, Rae. I’m quite looking forward to getting to know each other better this weekend,” he winked.

  I picked at a piece of grass, ignoring his comment about this weekend because frankly I was trying to forget about it.

  “Why architecture?” I ventured to ask.

  He shrugged, playing with the lid of the water bottle. “You know Xander?” He waited for my nod. “Well, his dad owns a company and we’ve been friends forever. When I was little, and I’d go to his house, I was always fascinated with the blueprints. Cooper, his dad, picked up on my interest and he started taking Xander and me to sites they were working on. It always astounded me how this building would start out as lines on a piece of paper,” he spoke passionately, “and turn into this real place that people used.” He shrugged. “I knew then that’s what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.”

  “Where does football come into it?” I asked.

  He grunted unintelligibly and looked away. “I like football. I don’t love it. But…but my dad does. He started me young and I just continued with it because that’s what was expected of me and I wanted to make him proud.” His face grew sad and he looked away.

  “He wants you to go pro,” I stated. I’d heard enough from Thea to know that Cade was talented enough to make a career out of football.

  Cade looked back at me and nodded.

  “But you don’t want that.”

  “No,” he sighed, running his fingers through his longish hair. “I don’t want that life. I just want to be normal. The spotlight? It’s not my thing.”

  “You’re a strange guy.” And he was. I thought most guys in his position would be ecstatic at the prospect of going pro. The money. The women. The lifestyle. But not Cade. He was right when he said I didn’t know him at all and I’d passed too many judgments on him. Maybe…maybe I could be his friend.

  “You’re a strange girl,” he countered with a small smile.

  “Touché.” I laughed lightly, plucking a piece of grass from the ground and twisting it around my finger.

  “You know,” he said, and lay on the ground, crossing his arms behind his head. The movement caused his shirt to ride up exposing the lower muscles of his smooth stomach. A light dusting of hair started at his naval and disappeared beneath the top of his jeans. I looked away hastily, my cheeks heating, and prayed he hadn’t seen me staring. “It really sucks how people judge you by what you do and not by who you are.”

  I winced, because that’s exactly what I’d done with Cade, and look how wrong I’d been. And people judged me the same way too.

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered, surprising us both. “I hate when people judge me that way and it’s exactly what I did to you.”

  He turned his head towards me. “I didn’t expect an apology, Rae, but thanks. It’s not just you though. Everyone judges me. Even the professors.” He sighed heavily. “You have no idea how many classes I’ve walked into and they take one look at me and make some smart ass comment, because of what I do. They think that I just want a free ride, and that’s not what I want at all. I want to work hard and get my degree. I want to be an architect and build someone’s dream home or an old fashioned church that will stand the test of time. I don’t want to be that guy they think I am. I’m not that guy.”

  “I know.” And I did. I saw it now. I stood up and dusted loose grass off my jeans. “I’m glad we had this conversation and I don’t mean that in a sarcastic way. I’m truly happy we did.” I backed away slowly and he watched me. When I was far enough away that he’d barely be able to hear me, I said, “I’m looking forward to this weekend.”

  And I was.

  ***

  Thea dropped down into the seat beside me, her backpack slamming on the table. “Monday’s suck and I need a cupcake. Or a brownie. Or ice cream. Something loaded with sugar, stat.”

  “That bad, huh?” I frowned, picking some of the extra bread off my sandwich.

  “Yes,” she groaned, smacking her head against the table. Raising her head, she said, “You know, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if I actually knew what I wanted to do with my life and I wasn’t taking all these stupid classes that bore me half to death.”

  I felt bad for her, because that really had to suck. “Surely there’s something you like that could be a potential career.”

  Her plump lips turned down into a frown and she pouted. “Nope. Nothing.” She lowered her head to the table once more in the shelter of her arms. Her body began to shake. “I’m such a failure.”

  “You’re not a failure,” I assured her. My hand hovered above her back, not sure whether or not I should try to offer her comfort. Eventually I gave her a small pat and pulled my hand away hastily.

  She peeked her eyes up at me and sniffled. “I totally am. This is college. I’m supposed to have it all figured out and I’m clueless.”

  “You will figure it out,” I assured her. “Give it time.”

  I’d known I wanted to be a photographer from the moment I first picked up a camera at ten years old, so I’d never been in Thea’s position, but I could imagine it was pretty miserable.

  “You really think so?” She sat up, wiping her hands beneath her eyes.

  “I know so.” I nodded reassuringly. “Don’t get yourself too worked up about it. One day something will happen and you’ll know what you want to do. Don’t stress yourself unnecessarily.”

  She nodded at my words and then surprised me by hugging me. I slowly lifted my arms to hug her back. “You’re a good friend, Rae.”

  I opened my mouth, ready to tell her that we weren’t friends, but that would’ve been a lie. Somehow, Thea had weaseled herself into my heart and become my friend. I hadn’t had one of those in a long time—I’d come to deny myself such things. But it felt good knowing I had someone like her in my life. I hugged her back with renewed force. I wasn’t alone anymore.

  “You’re a better friend,” I whispered in her hair, because it was true. She could never know the real me and what I had done, but she could know the me that I was now.

  She pulled away and gave me a shaky smile. “I’m sorry for crying on you.”

  I cracked a smile. “It’s okay. But seriously, you need to stop stressing yourself.”

  “I’ll try to be better.” She straightened her clothes and stood up. “I better get something to eat. Class on an empty stomach is not fun.” She forced a smile and flounced away with a little more pep in her step. Now that was the Thea I knew.

  By the time she returned she was in a much better mood.

  She set her food down, and eyed me. “So…my brother asked me for your phone number?”

  He’d told me he was going to, but that news still sent a shiver down my spine.

  “He did?” I acted like I was clueless.

  “Mhmm,” she grinned, peeling the top off her yogurt. “Would you like to explain why to me?”

  I shrugged and squirmed in my seat, reluctant to tell her of our plans. I mean, it wasn’t like it was a date or anything, but if I told her the truth it would certainly sound that way.

  “Rae?” She pleaded, giving me puppy dog eyes. Damn her.

  “We’re going out for lunch or something. I really don’t know the specifics.” When she brightened I hastened to add, “It’s not a date.” Nope. Definitely not a date.

  She grinned like the Cheshire cat. “Yeah, right.”

  “Seriously,” I assured her. “Ask him.”

  “I will.” She turned to her food and the subject, thankfully, dropped.

  I finished eating and looked at the time on my phone. “I better go,” I told her. I still had time befo
re my next class but I was supposed to meet up with Nova so we could discuss our project.

  I walked across campus and stood by the bench she’d told me to wait at. My head swiveled in every direction, looking for her purple hair. At least she wouldn’t be hard to miss.

  When she didn’t appear in a few minutes I sat down on the bench, checking my phone to see if I’d missed a text from her canceling our plans, but there was nothing.

  The whirl of a motorcycle caught my attention, streaking across the parking lot.

  It screeched into a spot a few spaces down from where I sat. The rider removed their helmet and purple hair tumbled forward.

  Holy crap.

  It was official, Nova was not only the weirdest person I’d ever met, but the coolest as well.

  She caught sight of me and waved. I slowly lifted my hand and wiggled my fingers. I was still in shock.

  She walked over to me, swiping her fingers through her hair.

  I stood up, shaking my head. “Let me get this straight. You’re a photographer, you have purple hair, and you drive a motorcycle?”

  She laughed, squinting from the sunlight. “Yeah.”

  “Can I be you when I grow up?” The words tumbled out of my mouth.

  She laughed, a real genuine laugh. It surprised me at first since I’d barely ever seen her smile.

  “Sorry, I don’t think it works that way.” She hopped up on the bench, sitting on the part where your back rested.

  I sat down once more. “So, this project…” I started. “My photos are typically people or nature and very straightforward. Yours…are…wow.” I’d seen several pieces of Nova’s work in class and to say I was envious of her talent was an understatement.

  She cracked a smile. “My photos are conceptual. I see things that aren’t necessarily there. When I take a photo I don’t just see a bench,” she waved her hand to where we sat, “I see what I can do with the bench. Maybe I want it floating or in a tree or upside down.” She shrugged. “You get the picture…no pun intended,” she laughed.

  “What do you think we should do then?” I asked, nervously wringing my hands together. Conceptual photography was way out of my comfort zone, but I’d always wanted to try.