Through His Heart (Mind's Eye Book 3)

by Deborah Camp

  She stood and ran a hand over the other twin bed. Nothing.

  “Mouse is doing her pee-pee dance. I’m taking her outside.”

  “Okay.” She went into the other bedroom just to be sure she didn’t sense anything in there either. It was identical to the first one and she felt nothing other than the cold seeping into her bones and the hopelessness she was determined to fight off.

  In the living room, she stared at a painting of Jesus surrounded by adoring children. This Jesus looked like Peter O’Toole in “Lawrence of Arabia” and the children were all Caucasian. She spun away from the picture and became aware of a musty scent along with the lingering scent of wood smoke. Wrinkling her nose in distaste, she stepped out onto the wide porch to fill her lungs with fresh air.

  Moving into a triangle of sunshine by the banister, Trudy looked out toward the lake, seeing only a sparkle of water amid the tree trunks and tangle of branches. The sun warmed her face and she closed her eyes, soaking it in, feeling the strangeness of the engagement ring on her finger and the joy it birthed in her heart.

  Did he really want to marry her or was this a way of avoiding her parents’ disapproval? His possessiveness figured into this engagement – in a big way. And she wasn’t sure how she felt about that. He wanted everyone to know that she was taken. It was sort of sweet of him and a turn-on. However, he sometimes took it too far, making her feel as if he didn’t trust her to be faithful to him. Or maybe he didn’t think she’d stay with him unless he wrangled some kind of promise from her. After all, the first people he’d loved and trusted had deserted him and never looked back. If the ring would make him feel that she wasn’t going anywhere, then maybe it was a good thing.

  “He loves you and you’re engaged,” she whispered to herself with an odd mixture of shock and elation.

  The light seemed to shift around her. She surveyed the area, then her body became clammy as an inky curtain slowly fell across her mind, blotting out her own thoughts, her own consciousness, and replacing them with someone else’s.

  She found herself staring at a cabin. A young woman stood on the porch. She had short, dark red hair that curled haphazardly, flicking up here and there, shimmering in the sunlight. She was slender, but curvy in the right places. Adjusting the binocular lens brought her more sharply into focus. Rust-colored corduroy hugged her round backside and long legs. A hunter green sweater and green coat were cut close to her body, accentuating her narrow waist and round bosom.

  Such a pretty young gal. Why would she chop off her hair like that? Doesn’t she know that it’s her crown of glory?

  What’s she looking at – the lake, the squirrels chasing each other up and down the tree trunks? Is she looking for someone? Who’s she with? That must be her motorhome. What’s going on here? Who’s he?

  For a few terrifying moments, Trudy was sightless. Her fingers curved around the banister, her nails biting into the wood as she battled against sheer terror. Nausea churned in her stomach and a pain shot through her head like a red-hot poker. Her eyesight returned and she drew in a breath, filling her lungs and blinking in confusion at the landscape before her. Where was she? An arm circled her waist and she stifled a scream.

  “Easy, baby,” Levi soothed. “Are you with me, sweetheart?”

  The sight of Levi’s calm, blue eyes and the sound of his raspy voice settled her stomach and cleared her mind.

  “What happened just now?” he asked, running his hand over her hair and then cupping her nape.

  “I saw . . . I saw . . .” Her voice shuddered out of her. The sound of an engine firing up in the distance snagged her attention and she looked in that direction. A car or truck. Driving away. “Levi, he’s leaving!”

  “Who?” He glanced around. “Was someone here?”

  Agitated, she pulled away from him and went down the porch steps, her attention riveted to the tree line. Recalling the distance and direction, she was sure the man had been camouflaged in the shadow of the trees . . . watching . . . and now he was getting away.

  “Trudy, answer me. Was someone here or were you channeling or what?”

  “Both.” She turned back to him, her insides still quaking from experiencing the strange reflection of herself. “Someone was here and I was channeling him.”

  “The man who has Rachel?”

  She paused, recalling the voice in her head and the familiarity of it. “Yes, I’m fairly certain it was him. He was over there in those trees.” She pointed and realized her hands were shaking. “He must have seen you and he ran.”

  “You saw him standing there?”

  “No.” She met his gaze and grimaced before she said, “He saw me standing on the porch.”

  A few seconds ticked by before his eyes widened slightly. He was one of only a handful of people she could reveal something like that to and have him understand and not question her sanity.

  “You were seeing through his eyes and he was watching you,” Levi said, slowly. “Did he know you – know who you are?”

  “No. He was wondering what I was doing here. Wondering who I was with.” She placed a hand over her pounding heart that was being fueled by adrenalin and fear. “That was ultra-weird – even for me. I’ve heard about people returning to the scene of the crime. Was that what he was doing?”

  “Or checking to see if the investigation had gone into neutral and the search teams had finally given up.”

  “You don’t think he followed us here, do you?” she asked, panic rising.

  “No. He was surprised when I showed up, right?”

  “Oh, yes. That’s right.” She blew out a breath of relief. “He didn’t know me or you. It must have been a coincidence that he showed up while we were here.”

  “What thoughts did he have about you?” Levi tipped his head, watching every nuance of her expressions. “Anything sexual or deviant?”

  Smiling gently, she moved her hand from her heart to his. “No, Levi. He was only curious. Although, he did think I was pretty, despite my chopped off hair.” She shrugged. “He had binoculars.”

  He closed his hand over hers, pressing hers more tightly against him. “So, he’s used to watching from a distance.”

  “I shouldn’t have let him get away.”

  Levi grinned at her. “What? You think you could beat him in a footrace or outrun his car?” He squeezed her gloved hand, then lifted it and kissed her exposed wrist before letting go. “We know that he’s still around here. He must live in the vicinity, right? Within easy driving distance.”

  “Maybe I’ll be able to connect with him more often now. I hope so.”

  “Let’s get out of here.” He closed the cabin door before joining her again. “You’re amazing. You know that, right?” Tucking her against his side, he led her to the motorhome. Mouse scampered ahead of them.

  “No more amazing than you.”

  “I think you have me beat.”

  She angled a look up at him, surprised to find that he was serious. “We do different things, but it’s all amazing.”

  He gave a dismissive little wag of his head. “Someday you’ll understand what a rare treasure you are, Tru. As news of you spreads, you’ll get all kinds of attention, so get ready for it. You’ll even have other psychics trying to partner with you to share some of your fame.”

  She hugged him closer. “I’m only interested in partnering with the sexiest, hottest, most talented psychic on the planet and I already have him.”

  They were at the motorhome and he let go of her to open the passenger door and help her climb up into the seat. He caught up Mouse in one hand and planted her in Trudy’s lap. When his spiky-lashed gaze lifted to hers, her heart swelled with sweet, sweet love. The way he looked at her – as if she were the most gorgeous, most precious thing in the world – it rocked her, blew apart any previous notions she’d had about love and lust and longing.

  “If you ever decide to leave me, Tru, will you promise me one thing?”

  She shook her head, stunned
by his turn of conversation. What had she said or done to make him think about this? “Leave you? Why would you think –?”

  “I’m rushing you along and making you go places in this relationship that you’re not ready for. I’m too closed off and you deserve better from me. I get it. But, promise me that you’ll tell me when you’re thinking about walking out the door. Give me time to change, to try to win you back. Promise me, Trudy.”

  She turned a little in the seat so that she could take his face in her hands. “Why are you worried about this all of a sudden?”

  “All of a sudden?” he asked with a scoffing laugh. “I’m always preparing myself for chaos and catastrophes. They’re what I know. Look, I’ve entrusted you with what’s left of my goddamned heart. If you leave me, you’ll take it with you and I’ll be a real-life Tin Man with no Yellow Brick Road or kid from Kansas to save me.”

  His bald admission sent tears to burn her eyes. “Levi, it’s a mutual risk. I’ve given you my heart, my trust, my faith. I’ve never given any man everything I have to give before.” She could see that her words moved him, but didn’t assuage him. “Do you really think I could keep such a thing from you? For heaven’s sake! I wear my heart on my sleeve and every emotion I feel is on my face or I’m babbling on and on about it! If I’m unhappy, are you ever in the dark about it? Ever?”

  He stared at her for a few seconds before a smile slowly curved his lips and relief softened the planes of his face. “You’re right. You never shine me on or bullshit me.” He gave a quick nod and closed the door. Striding around to the other side, he settled into the driver’s seat and slipped on a pair of Aviator sunglasses.

  “Thanks for taking this detour with me, Levi. I work better when you’re with me.”

  He started the engine and cleared his throat before he said, so softly she barely caught the words, “And I breathe better when you’re with me.”

  Chapter 7

  “It’s ridiculous how happy Mom and Dad are about you wearing that little bauble,” Sadie drawled with an exaggerated roll of her eyes.

  Trudy stuck a bow on the package she’d just wrapped and mirrored the eye roll. “I know. What’s even more ridiculous is that I agreed to wear it for that exact reason.”

  Sadie tore off a strip of Scotch tape and applied it along the wrapping paper seam. “Seriously? You’re in love with him, little sister. That’s why you’re wearing that ring.”

  “It doesn’t feel real. I’m not sure marriage is something we should do. Not yet, anyway.”

  Sadie dropped the present she was wrapping and unfolded her legs with groan. They’d been sitting in the middle of Sadie’s living room floor for more than an hour wrapping presents and drinking Grasshoppers. They’d shared this Christmas task since they were kids, minus the booze. “So, you’re only interested in great sex and a big ass diamond, huh?”

  Trudy scoffed before finishing off her third green, minty drink. “He isn’t ready for marriage. He’s barely ready for a serious relationship.”

  “He seems to be adjusting fine to me. Are you sure it’s not you who isn’t ready? Could be you don’t trust him.”

  She stuck her tongue out at Sadie. “I trust him. I know he loves me. I know I love him.”

  “But you don’t want to marry him. That doesn’t sound like you.”

  “I do want to marry . . . someday. I have to be convinced that he has his eyes wide open and really, really wants me in his life permanently. He has some . . . issues, Sadie. He’s a complicated man.”

  Sadie downed the rest of her drink and set the glass back onto the coffee table harder than was necessary. “You keep talking about him, but you’re the one with the hang-up. You think he’s out of your league.”

  She started to argue, but the words got stuck in her throat. Sadie was right. “I know I shouldn’t, but sometimes I look at him and I wonder why he’s with me. He’s been with beautiful, rich, famous women. Why is he hanging around with me? For a while, I thought it was because he admires what I can do as a psychic, but then he looks at me with bare, naked lust in his eyes and I know it’s more than that.” She felt a blush stain her cheeks and she looked away, embarrassed. “He likes being around me, but how long will that last before he’s bored to tears?”

  Sadie groaned. “Oh, my God. This again? There are no guarantees in life, Trudy. You know that. Yeah, he lusts for you, and why not? You’re a fine looking woman who is fun to be around, intelligent, kind, and gifted.” She swatted her on the shoulder. “You’re in love and you’re engaged. Deal with it. No! Wallow in it! Soak in it! Roll around in it and get all dirty in it!”

  Stifling a giggle, Trudy wrinkled her nose at Sadie’s advice. “Only you could make an engagement sound like mud wrestling.”

  “How long is he going to be in Atlanta?”

  “Just for a couple of days.” A pang of longing made her wince inwardly. After they’d returned to Tulsa, Levi had headed for Atlanta the next day to sit in on some business meetings and attend a Re-Home board meeting. “I’m heading back to Missouri in the morning and he’ll meet me there as soon as he can.”

  “But you’ll be here for Christmas, right?”

  “That’s the plan, but if Rachel hasn’t been found by then that plan might change.” She shrugged.

  Sadie set her face in a stubborn scowl. “You have to be here for Christmas.”

  “I’ll do my best. Of course, I want to be here and I want Rachel back home by then, too.”

  “So, Levi’s going to work with you to find her?”

  “A little bit. He’ll help me with some research and dealing with the cops and FBI.” She’d told Sadie that Levi was estranged from his father. “But he wants nothing to do with the family.”

  “His family,” Sadie amended. “It’s sad that his dad is such a giant ass crack. Is his stepmother nice?”

  “She’s been kind to me, so far. I’m sure she’s been told a completely different story about why Levi and his dad don’t see each other.”

  “What’s the whole story, anyway?”

  Trudy bobbed her shoulders, unwilling to discuss the sensitive subject. “They just don’t see eye to eye, so Levi was sent away to be schooled. AmyLynn’s oldest daughter attends a boarding school. I wonder if that was her idea or his?”

  “Appears to be a pattern developing,” Sadie said, picking up the half-wrapped package again and reaching for the tape dispenser. “Hey, what are you giving Levi for Christmas?”

  “He’s super hard to buy for,” she lamented. “He’s extremely picky when it comes to clothes, so I wouldn’t dare purchase something for him to wear. I ended up getting him a silver bracelet with these initials on it.” She fingered the necklace Levi had given her.

  “Ah, yes,” Sadie said with a grin. “The See You Soon stuff.”

  “Right, and I had a photo taken of me for him.”

  “Oh? Are you wearing clothing in it?”

  “Yes!” Trudy widened her eyes in mock shock. “You and your filthy mind! It’s not that kind of picture! It’s a normal, fully-clothed photo. He doesn’t have any of me, other than casual snapshots, and he’s always complaining about it.”

  “I want one! You haven’t had a decent picture taken of you since high school. And you know that Mom and Dad and Derek will want one, too.” Sadie plopped a big green bow on top of the present she’d finished and added it to the pile of other gifts under her Frozen decorated tree. “Do you have any idea what he’s giving you for Christmas?”

  “A headache and a big fight,” Trudy said with a groan. “He’s threatening to buy me a car or pay off my mortgage and school loans.”

  Sadie’s busy hands stilled and her hazel eyes widened a little. “Oh, that horrible man!” She feigned a shudder. “Kick him to the curb, the worthless piece of trash!”

  “Okay, okay.” Trudy smiled at her sister’s chiding. “It’s too extravagant. I can’t compete.”

  Sadie rested a hand on Trudy’s shoulder. “Trudy Louise, it’s a rel
ationship, not a race. If you offered him fifty thousand dollars or a picture of you, which one do you think he’d take?” She didn’t even wait for an answer. “He’s not buying your love. He already has it.”

  ###

  “You felt pressured into the engagement?” Dr. McLain asked, her pen poised above the leather-bound notebook in her lap. A golden bar of sunlight fell across her, gilding her chocolate skin and sparkling in her dark eyes.

  “No.” Levi shifted on the sofa, resting his elbow on the arm and propping his head against his hand. “I admit that her father put the idea into my head and Trudy thinks it’s just for show, but I like the whole concept.”

  Dr. McLain lifted her gaze slowly to his. “What do you mean by ‘whole concept’?”

  He measured his words, something he’d learned to do over the years he’d been in therapy. “I enjoyed selecting the ring and . . . I like that she’s wearing it. I also like calling her my fiancée.”

  “You enjoy the domination – the primitive urge to claim your woman.”

  He didn’t appreciate being called primitive, but he knew better than to argue with her. It would only result in a debate he didn’t want to be involved in, not to mention being a waste of his time and money. “It’s a natural progression in a relationship. She thinks we’re moving too fast and so that’s why I’m fine with her telling herself the engagement isn’t real.”

  “Do you plan on marrying her?”

  He rubbed his temple as a tension headache began to bloom there. “If I marry anyone, it will be Trudy.”

  She crossed her legs and straightened her back. “Levi, have you told her about the child?”

  He ground his teeth together and cautioned himself not to bark at her, not to tell her to shut the fuck up. He’d done that early in their sessions, earning narrow-eyed glares from her. She was different from any other therapist he’d been to because she had dual degrees in psychiatry and psychology. She didn’t just write prescriptions for him as several other psychiatrists had done. The psychologist in her sought to guide him to self-discovery. “No, I have not. But I will.”