Dallas Fire & Rescue: Affinity (Kindle Worlds Novella) (Soulful Hearts Book 1)

by Tigris Eden

  I tell him all about my family and me. That my parents are divorced but still get along, and that I secretly think they are together but don’t want me to know. I tell him about school and how Dali and Poe have been with me forever. We talk about the station and the work I do for S.E.E.K. with the ATF. We go through it all. What we don’t talk about are Amelia and his child. I want to, I really do, but I can’t push. It’s not my place. When he’s ready, he’ll tell me.

  “Can’t believe we talked all night,” I say, yawning.

  “Yeah, never done that before.”

  “Not even with Amelia?” My eyes go wide, and I can’t take the words back. Damn. I didn’t want to do the comparison thing, but I couldn’t stop the words from coming out of my mouth.

  Klaus grins.

  “No, not even with Amelia. She wasn’t much of a talker. Don’t get me wrong, we talked a lot, but we mostly enjoyed each other, life. When I took her back home to Húsavík, she mostly painted, and we took trips. But when we did talk, it was primarily about having a family.”

  “Do you still want that?”

  He lowers his head as if he is thinking for a moment, then looks directly at me before saying. “No, I had that already, Jada. I know what that’s all about. Now, I just want to ride my bike, fix cars, and hang out.”

  Direct.

  I can’t fault him for that, at least he’s honest. But I have to be honest, too.

  I am going to bed very angry tonight. There is no doubt in my mind because I am not a ‘hang out’ type of girl. I do relationships, and I get it, he wants to take things slow, but at the same time, that could mean something different to him than it does to me. I’m not getting any younger, and it isn’t that I’m chasing the white picket fence, or even the two-point-five kids. But what I do want is to spend my life with someone, and I can’t be bothered with simply ‘hanging out.’

  “Thanks for your honesty, Klaus.”

  “I’ll always be honest with you, Jada.”

  Good to know.

  I owed him the same.

  “Well, I guess since we’re being honest, it’s my turn to go next. I’m not the person you should be ‘hanging out’ with. That’s not what I’m about. I’m sorry, but we don’t want the same things. And I totally understand why you feel the way you feel. But I’m just not built for the kind of relationship you’re seeking.”

  I stand up to clear the plates, and Klaus doesn’t stop me. He doesn’t say anything either. I don’t expect him to. We’ve basically reached a stalemate. Doesn’t matter how attracted we are to one another. It is, what it is. I can’t change him, and I’d be foolish to think I can. There are some who would say I could eventually change his mind. But that’s not what I want. I want him to want the same things as me; otherwise, it won’t be true. Real. I am not going to start a relationship based on a falsehood.

  Klaus helps me clean the kitchen, and by the time we’re done, it’s past two in the morning.

  “You can stay here. I don’t want you driving this late.”

  He smirks.

  “Sure, I’ll stay here.”

  “Yeah, buddy, don’t go there. We’re friends, that’s it.”

  Klaus pulls me into his arms so quickly, I barely have time to react. But I do. He looks hurt when I push back and step out of his arms.

  “Jada, you have to enjoy life, why not start with me?”

  “I do enjoy life, Klaus, very much. I don’t deny that I’m attracted to you. I am. You’re a hot Viking,” I say grinning.

  “A Viking, huh?”

  There is mischief dancing behind his beautiful eyes, and if I were a weaker woman, I’d totally let him do me in multiple positions, in different parts of the house but I can’t. We don’t want the same things.

  “I’ll show you to the guest room.”

  Klaus doesn’t say anything else as he follows me. This room is probably the only room in my house that is what most would deem normal. There is a queen bed against the wall, cream curtains, and a large oak armoire. I don’t follow him inside. I just open the door. As I turn to leave, he grabs both my hands in his and stares down at me.

  “Jada, I’m sorry I can’t be the things that you want me to be. But I meant what I said.”

  If that were true, I’d be enough for him to want more than just a hang-out.

  “No apology necessary, Klaus. I would never try to change you. It’s a good thing we got this all out on the table now and not weeks or months down the road. That would have sucked.”

  He nods, leans in, and kisses me on the cheek before he goes into the guest room and closes the door.

  Chapter 9

  Three Months later.

  The weekend’s here, and Klaus’s friends are arriving for yet another get-together. They have been coming over for the last three months, like clockwork. I am having so much fun with everyone; I didn’t realize they’d sort of become my family. Since the night we had dinner, Klaus and I texted and even hung out after work. We have all the makings of a real couple, just without the sex and heavy petting. We talk. A lot. We watch a lot of Netflix, minus the chill. Poe and Dali adore him. Klaus is perfect, and as much as I value his friendship, things for me are starting to get serious. But I keep a lid on my feelings. We haven’t really known each other long at all, but I am drawn to him. Gravitate in his direction every time he’s near.

  “Dude, are you seriously going to wear that?” Tammy asks me. The verdict is still out on Hector’s old lady. She’s cool, but she’s also friendly. As in, touchy-feely friendly, in a way that tells me if I were to ever switch sides, she’d be all up on me. Sure she’s with Hector, but I get the feeling that she’s also into girls, and I’m never wrong about these things.

  “Why, what’s wrong with what I’m wearing?” I’m in a simple pair of capri pants and a tank top. It’s hot as all get out today.

  “Nothing, I just thought you’d want to spruce up a bit for Klaus.”

  “We’re just friends, Tammy.”

  “If you two are friends, then I’m so telling Hector we need to invite you into our circle of friends.”

  See! That proves it right there. I’m never wrong about these things.

  “Yeah, not happening. I think you’re hot, but that’s as far as I’m willing to go.”

  “Yeah, I know, but still… You and Klaus are definitely not ‘friends.’ Chops’ little brother, Koda, is out there, and he’s been checking out your ass. Klaus almost killed him.”

  Really?

  “He’s just being protective.”

  “Whatever, Jada. Act like you don’t notice the way he looks at you, and I’ll act like I don’t notice the way you swoon over him.”

  I look at Tammy from across the kitchen island and groan. I have to talk to someone. Caroline and I haven’t spoken since the night back at the club. Not that I plan to speak to her, but she was my only female friend. Now, I have Tammy, Chops’ lady, Sabina, and the other girls that hang out with Klaus and his friends.

  “Tammy, we’re just friends. Seriously. Klaus and I don’t want the same things.”

  “That’s what he thinks. He wants it bad, he’s just too chickenshit to act on it. Trust me, go out there and flirt with Koda, and I guarantee you’ll see another side of Klaus.”

  “Doubtful. But I’m not one to play games.”

  “Everyone has a game, Jada. Whether we want to admit it or not. You’re just too blind to see you’ve already put in your hand.”

  I don’t respond; instead, I tell her to help with all the side dishes. There have to be at least forty people on my property today, and I’m actually okay with that. Thomas has been grumpy ever since Klaus and I started hanging out together. He even gave notice a few weeks back so the cottage next to the house is empty. Although I miss Thomas’s help, the empty cottage has come in handy. Especially when people drink a little too much. The second barbeque I had, more than half of them were camped out in my house and in the guest room. It was not a pretty sight.

&n
bsp; As I head out the front door, Koda is there, grabbing one of the bowls from my hand.

  “Hey, let me help you with that.”

  “Thanks.”

  Koda looks like Chops, only a younger, hotter version. He has dark, chestnut-brown hair with gold highlights, and he keeps it messy but in a way that still comes off as sexy, and his eyes are the color of maple syrup. Not too dark and not too light, but warm with golden highlights. A girl would be crazy not to want him, but my stupid body only wants one person. He just happens to be unavailable for the kind of relationship I want.

  Just give in and hang out. That’s my body talking. My mind, on the other hand, is telling me to stay true to my course. I’m not getting any younger, and I know in order to find the one, you have to put yourself out there. I get it. I’m not opposed to getting out there, what I am opposed to, is getting out there and finding out what I’m getting will lead to nowhere.

  When I set the stuff down on the table, Koda reaches out and takes my elbow gently.

  “How come we’ve never gone out?” he asks.

  I’m a bit shocked, and don’t know how to respond, but I don’t even get the chance.

  I’ve read in books where the heroine can sense her hero, and I kid you not, the moment Klaus is standing behind me, I can feel his stare on my neck. But it’s not a warm stare, it’s cold, as in angry. He’s pissed.

  “Jada isn’t for you,” is all Klaus rumbles. Then I feel the actual heat of him at my back, not just his glare.

  “Klaus,” I say in warning.

  “Seriously, Klaus. You haven’t made a move on her, and I figure you won’t. We all get it, man. You’re unavailable. But you don’t own, nor do you have a claim on Jada. You’re not her keeper.”

  “She’s mine,” he mumbles.

  Did I just hear that right?

  I can’t be sure, but I could have sworn I just heard Klaus say I was his? What the hell is that about?”

  “All right, you two, to make this not a big deal, I’ll just go on record as saying that I’m not for either of you. All right? We’re here to eat, drink, and be merry. I don’t want Clash of the Titans going down in my yard.”

  “I’d pay to see that!” Hector yells over towards the three of us.

  “It wouldn’t even be a clash, more like a one-two, goodnight,” Chops says. He walks over and cuffs Koda on the back of the head before heading back over to the barbeque grill.

  Both men are staring each other down, and I’m reluctant to leave. I really don’t want them fighting. It’s unnecessary.

  The shenanigans from this afternoon’s display of male testosterone have dissipated. I’m sitting on the back porch, sipping my Crispin Pear, when Koda sits on the bottom step and looks up at me.

  “Jada, can I ask you something?”

  “Shoot.”

  “What happened back there was childish.” Koda rubs the back of his neck and looks up at me sideways. “I don’t usually get that way over a female. But you’re beautiful and funny. I know it’s like unspoken lore around here that you and Klaus will end up together, but seriously, why not hang out with me?”

  Was that the going rate for my time? Hanging out? I look over at Koda, then take another sip of my drink. Klaus has avoided me most of the day, and it’s not like him.

  “Koda, I don’t want you to get the wrong idea, but hanging out with me is the equivalent of us just being friends. If you’re okay with that, I’m okay with that. But nothing more. Got it?”

  His eyes narrow slightly, and he turns to look at everyone out in the yard. Dali is running around playing catch with Hector while Tammy cheers them on. Poe is on the railing, watching. Chops is cleaning my grill, and Klaus is… Holy shit. I spot Klaus off in the distance, and he’s basically all hugged up on Breeze. There is a reason everyone calls her Breeze. She’s easy. Like a breeze, she goes wherever her damn crotch takes her. Honestly, I can’t even tell you how I’d normally react, but it’s nothing like I’m used to acting. Before I know it, I’m up and out of my chair and stomping my way across the yard to both of them.

  Klaus’s head turns in my direction, and he literally looks at me as if I’m an afterthought. Like we haven’t been spending time together. Yeah, we’re friends, but we’re also friends who seriously want to get down to business. We just don’t act on it. Did you truly expect him to get his head out of his ass? I know I don’t hold a claim to him, but what he’s doing right now, in my yard, is disrespectful.

  “Jada, what’s up?”

  Oh, now he’s mister casual.

  “What’s up? Really? That’s all you got?”

  Klaus has the nerve to look at me as if I’m the one who’s lost their marbles.

  “Hey, Jada, do you think Klaus and I can stay in the cottage tonight?” Breeze purrs. Her arms tighten around Klaus, and I swear I see nothing but her death. Repeatedly. It’s like an ongoing loop in my head as Quincy Jones’ Ironside, from Kill Bill Vol. 1, plays in my mind. I don’t see red, I think, Kill Breeze. My jealousy burns with murderous intent, and I can’t do anything but grin as I say, “No, the cottage is being renovated.”

  “It is?” Breeze asks. She’s clearly disappointed. But Klaus knows I’m lying. He also knows why.

  “Klaus, can I talk to you for a moment?”

  He untangles himself from Breeze, who isn’t at all happy.

  I could care less.

  I start walking. I don’t have to look back to see if he’s following. I know he is. I walk inside the house. No one’s inside. I hear the sliding glass door click after Klaus enters. That’s when I turn.

  “What the hell is wrong with you?”

  “Nothing, Jada. We’re friends.”

  “Friends.”

  “Friends,” he repeats slowly.

  “So I mean nothing to you? You said you were half in love with me.”

  His eyes darken for a moment before they clear.

  “I know what I said.”

  “So why are you all hugged up on Breeze? Seriously, Breeze?”

  “I already told you, I just want to hang out. I’m not going to invest my time in another relationship. I’m a man, and if you’re not going to hang out, then, it is what it is.”

  That was way harsh.

  That’s when I lose it.

  “Invest your time? You’re a man!?” I scream. “You’re already invested. You spend almost every day with me when you’re not at the station. You’ve spent the night. We’ve even fallen asleep together, my head in your lap. How much investment is left after that? Whether you want to admit it or not, we’re in a relationship.” It’s like a light bulb goes off after I define us. “You almost threw down with Koda out there, and all he wanted to do was help me carry shit out to the table.”

  Klaus grunts.

  “Jada, we’re friends. That’s it. It’s about time we start acting appropriately. Hanging out with you has obviously given you a false image of us.” His eyes are stern. His voice is deep without even a hint of emotion. Nothing. It’s as if he’s shut down.

  “What’s happened between yesterday and today?”

  He shrugs as if nothing is out of the ordinary.

  “I don’t want to lead you on, and that’s what I’ve been doing. I’m not the man for you, Jada, and you’re not Amelia.”

  My chest caves in as I try to pull air into my lungs. I don’t move. I can’t. But Klaus does. He delivers the death blow and walks away. I don’t see him leave, but I hear the pipes from his motorcycle. I’m sick to my stomach because I really thought he’d eventually realize that what we were doing was creating the foundation for us. I misread that one like an idiot. I didn’t realize it either, not until Tammy pointed out that he was chickenshit. And he is. He’s a big fat pile of chickenshit.

  Fuck.

  I’m crying.

  Again.

  Me, crying, is never a good thing. Like ever. Because things get bad, and, I’m a horrible crier. It’s like Pai-Mei’s five-finger exploding chest act. Silent at fir
st, then I just break down until I almost die. Yes, I’m still on the whole Kill Bill streak because let’s face it, my situation is perfect for it. Did Klaus just shoot me in the fucking head and leave me to die?

  Fuck yes.

  Is A Silhouette of Doom by Ennio Morricone playing loudly in my head as I plot the untimely death of Breeze? It’s like I’m Norman Bates and Beatrix Kiddo all wrapped into one. Because I really want to cut a bitch with my Hattori Hanzo sword. For fucking real! And I hope I catch her in the shower when I do it.

  Calm.

  Deep.

  Breaths.

  Jada.

  “Oh, honey, your face.” My head darts over in Tammy’s direction. She looks at me with pity, and that’s when I almost lose hold of the reins keeping me together.

  “Tammy, I’m not feeling very well. Can you tell everyone they need to leave?”

  “Are you sure, honey?”

  I frantically nod my head as I make my way into the house to my bedroom and close the door. My body slides down to the floor in a slump against the wood. The tears come quickly and freely now. My nose starts to drip until I slide to the side and lay my face on the floor and just cry. I don’t know if anyone can hear me, and frankly, I don’t care. How could he just toss us to the side like that? Why would he tell me that I’m not Amelia? I know that! I fucking told him this was a bad idea from the beginning, but still, he insisted. Then, when things got to be too much, he put on the brakes, only to fall back on the friend card. Even then, we both knew we were lying to one another. I could see it in his face. In his actions. What he was doing didn’t scream “friend.” It said we were more than that. My feelings were out in the universe, and I knew he’d caught them. Hell, it was obvious, just like Tammy said. I’d done more than swoon for the idiot. Friends didn’t stare at each other with warm eyes and let the look linger. Friends didn’t hold hands while they were grocery shopping or fall asleep cuddled on the couch. Okay, maybe they did cuddle on the couch, but in all the history of friendom, when did it become okay to rip another’s heart from their chest and leave it beating at their feet? Um, never. Yet, here I lie, on my floor, crying like a damn baby. I don’t know how long I’m there, but Dali is at the door, whining. I know she’s worried about me. I’m sure Poe is, too, in his own weird way, but I can’t move. Not right now. I don’t want to.