“I sucked at the bow and arrow because of a stupid necklace my mother gave me.”
“Sure, but—”
“So, I can’t use that as an excuse anymore.” I pointed at my neck. “I’m not wearing it. Rourke took it, remember? He probably added it to his collection of changeling necklaces.”
Confusion rippled across Liam’s face. “All I’m trying to say is that sometimes these things take time.”
“And sometimes, these things were never meant to be.” I pushed back my chair and stood from my table, dropping my cloth napkin onto my plate. “I’m not hungry. Come get me when it’s time for training.”
Twenty seconds after I’d shut the door behind me, a heavy knock sounded on the thick wood. With a heavy sigh, I stared at it. I didn’t know what had gotten into me. I was acting like a lunatic. The logical part of my brain was scolding me for my complete overreaction to Rourke’s words, but the emotional side was still keyed up and ready to go.
I just didn’t think I could face him. Not yet.
“Norah, it’s me.” Liam’s growl of a voice filtered in through the door.
In a moment, I’d crossed the room and let him inside. His face was a mask, a change from his usual demeanor. Liam was the kind of fae to wear his emotions all over his face. He never tried to contain them, nor put a shield over what he was feeling inside. That kind of raw passion took confidence and guts. It was something I couldn’t help but admire in him, something I wished I could be confident enough to do myself.
He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the wall, arching an eyebrow. “You going to tell me what that was all about?”
Rourke makes me feel like I’ve lost my damn mind.
How the hell could I possibly say that?
“I’m not sure,” I muttered, plopping back onto the soft bed to stare up at the sloping ceiling. “I guess I’m feeling a bit sensitive.”
“You don’t say,” he drawled. “Any idea what it was that sparked this feeling of sensitivity?”
I pursed my lips, silent.
“Now, I may be reaching here, but something tells me this has something to do with our good old friend, Rourke.”
“Maybe,” I said.
Liam eased onto the bed beside me and pushed a stray strand of hair away from my face. “What did he say to you, darling? I can rough him up a bit, if you’d like.”
I sat up quickly, shaking my head. “No, please don’t do that.”
He winked, a wicked grin spreading across his face.
I rolled my eyes and plopped back down on the bed. “Right. You’re joking. I should have known.”
He poked me in the side. “I was just trying to get you to smile. It’s not like you to be so morose.”
“I know. I’m sorry.” I pushed back up to face him. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Ever since last night, it feels as though my thoughts are clouded. There’s this horrible, unrelenting sadness I just can’t shake. It’s making me lose my mind.”
Liam’s eyes widened, and he quickly stood from the bed. “That’s it, Norah. That’s absolutely it.”
Frowning, I stared up at him. “You seem awfully excited about my weird mental state.”
“Because it’s the shadows, Norah.” He held out a hand. “Come on. We need to discuss this with the others.”
We gathered around the dining table, including Rourke. I still couldn’t look at him, too embarrassed by my earlier outburst. Once again, the food and cutlery had vanished back into the kitchen, replaced by the massive map and the wooden pieces. That stupid wooden block was right back on there again.
Phelan crossed his arms over his chest and gave me a blank look. “What’s this about then?”
“You’ll have to ask Liam,” I said, jerking my thumb at my Summer instructor. “He’s the one who got all excited about the fact I’m in a bad mood.”
“Because I have a theory about your bad mood and your overreaction to Rourke’s words.”
Suddenly, I felt those golden eyes on my face, piercing through the emotions I was so desperately trying to hide. Sadness over his words. Embarrassment at my overreaction. Disappointment that I’d read our bond wrong. Ever since I’d heard about Marin and ever since I’d shown my powers in the Autumn woods, a strange kernel of an idea had begun to take shape in my mind. The idea that I could be like her, that I could mate with more than one.
But I knew that was ridiculous.
Liam kept calling me a Greater Fae, but I wasn’t great. I was just normal, average. I’d lucked into using those powers. That was all. I feared I couldn’t live up to what they expected of a Greater Fae. And I feared I wasn’t enough for four mates.
“It’s the powers she’s trying to access,” Liam said. “She’s drawing the shadows to her, and they’re permeating not only her skin but her mind. So, it’s twisting her thoughts, making her angry, sad, and morose.”
Alastar snapped his fingers and nodded. “Quite right. I’d forgotten about it, but I believe you’re on to something, Liam. Marin mentioned it once. She said she kept the dark thoughts at bay with a stone she kept close to her via a hidden pocket in her dress.”
For the first time since I’d entered the room, I looked up and met Rourke’s gaze. His lips stretched into a tight smile, and he nodded.
“So, it’s just the magic?”
“Seems that way, darling.” Liam squeezed my elbow.
“Oh, Rourke, I’m so sorry.” I took two steps toward him, and then stopped, suddenly aware that a dozen Summer fae eyes were watching my every move. “Please forgive me for flying off the handle.”
“No need to apologize, Norah.” A pause. “We just need to determine how we can train you without turning your sweet mind inside out.”
“Well, we’ve got to find that stone, don’t we?” Liam turned to Alastar. “Any idea where it might be?”
Alastar’s face clouded over. “Ask the Autumn. He’d know better than me.”
“As I’ve said repeatedly, many times,” Rourke said, his voice transforming into pure ice, “I did not support Viola or the assassination of Queen Marin. I was and am not privy to insider information, if that is what you’re implying.”
Alastar rolled back his shoulders and stalked closer to Rourke. Face to face, only inches apart, I couldn’t help but be struck by how different they were. Alastar was a tank, his body corded with thick muscle. Large beefy arms, thick neck, and a pair of thick red eyebrows that looked like dancing caterpillars. His emotions radiated off his body in waves.
Rourke, on the other hand, was still and calm. His spine was straight, his chin held high. He didn’t have those beefy muscles. He was much more lithe, and he wasn’t quite as tall, but he radiated just as much strength and energy as Alastar, maybe even more so.
“It’s in your blood, Autumn. You can say you’re not the same, but it’s how you’re born. We’d all be better off without the lot of you.”
“Don’t talk to him that way,” I said quietly.
Alastar’s head jerked my way. “Excuse me?” And then a laugh. “Hell, you’re no better, changeling. Did you know that no one actually wants you all around? You come back in from your human realm all confused and ignorant and helpless. The only fae who ever go to the Academy to become instructors only do so because their lives are worthless or they’re forced. They’re the lowest of the lows in the fae world. Ex-rebels, robbers, unwanted bastards.”
“Alastar, that’s enough.” Phelan stepped into the middle of this horrible fight, his hands held up on either side of him. “I think you’ve made your point.”
“Don’t tell me you’re siding with the Autumn.”
“I’m siding with the mission,” Phelan said, for once being the more reasonable of the two. “Regardless of how we might feel about the Autumn fae, we cannot jeapordize our plan.”
Alastar scowled and shook his head, and then spun on his heels. He stormed out of the hall, disappearing out into the courtyard. Everyone else stayed quiet and st
ill, and my heart beat uncomfortably in my chest as my mind weighed Alastar’s words. How much of that had been true? And how much of it had been framed by his own personal opinions?
Did the realm truly hate the changelings?
And was the Academy really what he had said?
As difficult as it was for me to believe, it did fit in with everything I knew so far. Kael had told me that he’d been unwanted in his home, banished until he found a mate at the Academy. Rourke was an ex-rebel, an enemy to his crown. And Liam had been captured for serving Queen Marin, only released so he could spend his days at the Academy. I didn’t know Finn’s story yet, but I had a strange certainty that it would be something along those lines, too.
Someone cleared his throat. I didn’t know who, and it didn’t matter. It was enough to knock us all out of our reverie and back to the mission at hand, as strange and uncomfortable as we might all be now.
Phelan moved over to the map, braced his hands on the table, and stared down at it for a long moment before he sighed. “Rourke, do you have any idea where that stone might be?”
“Are you certain I’m the one you wish to be asking about this?” Rourke asked coolly. “Or would you rather consult someone not stained by their birthplace?”
Phelan’s grip tightened on the table. “Look, I’m not going to pretend that there’s no tension between our people and yours. It’s been that way for decades, and it feels alien to be working together, particularly on something that involves fighting back against your Queen. But you’re what we’ve got, and we need your help. It’s your call whether or not you want to give it.”
“Rourke,” I said, my eyes pleading with him across the room. “Do you know where the stone might be?”
He pursed his lips, his eyes searching mine. “You still want to help these fae, after everything they’ve just said about you.”
“No, I want to help the realm.”
With a slight sigh, he gave a nod and turned back to Phelan. “On the border between the free territory and the Autumn woods, there’s a small village of Wilde Fae. It’s not...the most pleasant place in the realm, particularly not the shop where the stone might be found. The keeper specializes in death objects, items found on dead bodies. It’s possible the stone could have found its way there.”
Phelan gave a nod. “Good. You will leave at dusk.”
Chapter Nine
Liam helped me onto my horse, his face a reflection of the torment in his heart. He wouldn’t be coming with us, but even he had to agree that it was for the best. It would just be me and Rourke, no one else. The Hunters were afraid that a large party might attract the attention of any Autumn fae out on patrol near the border, alerting the Queen as to what we had planned. Rourke had volunteered to go, as he was the only one of us who knew where the Wilde Fae village was located. And, I had to go, to test whatever the shopkeeper tried to pawn off on us. We needed to be certain it did what he said it did.
“You be safe now,” Liam said, eyes flashing. “If the situation doesn’t feel right, you run, okay? And you come right back here to me.”
I nodded, wrapping my hands tight around the reins. “All we’ve got to do is go get the rock and come right back.”
“And don’t waste too much time,” Phelan said from the doorway of the stables. “You still have more training to do with the stone. The longer this takes, the longer it will be before we can send you into the Autumn Court to spy on the Queen.”
Rourke steered his horse over to my side. “I know you don’t think you can trust me, but you can. I’m not going to let anything happen to Norah.”
“Oh, I have no doubt about that,” Phelan mused before dropping his head back to stare up at the darkening sky. “Now, go. If you hurry, you can be there and back by sunrise.”
Rourke gave a nod, and the two of us steered our horses to the gates of the castle. The guards waved us through, and soon, we were on our way. Because of the turmoil between the Courts, Rourke and I were forced to go by foot rather than simply rely on our ability to shift. When the Courts were at peace, the boundaries were open, and free access was allowed. By foot, by horse, by wings, or by magic. But those boundaries had been shut down. Now, the only way out was to go back through that archway by the tavern we’d passed on the way in.
Rourke and I were silent as we followed the long and winding path. The summer night rose up around us, just as brilliant and as vibrant as the cloudless sky days. Flora and fauna danced in the soft breeze, almost glowing underneath the light of the full moon. The gurgling stream beside the path was rushing now, and even in the dim light, I could see fish poking out their heads and darting back under the blue.
“Rourke,” I finally said, after what felt like hours upon hours of silence. “I hope you know I truly am sorry. I never should have snapped at you like that, especially not after...”
After everything he’d shared with me.
“You don’t need my forgiveness, Norah. You need a way to protect your mind from the darkness.”
“Yes, but—”
“It’s fine, Norah,” he said. “It is nothing to fret about. Focus on the task at hand. The Wilde Fae will not be easy to deal with, and we need to be on our guard.”
The Wilde Fae. The banished members of faerie society. If a changeling failed to pass at the Academy, the Wilde Fae was what they were forced to join. I’d been warned about them. Kael had told me they were violent and vicious and cruel. And now we were walking straight into one of their villages with nothing more than the weapons on our backs.
But when we arrived at the wooden gates of the village, the snarling, mangy-haired guard would not let us through with our swords.
“You want to come into Yarinya? You’re going to have to surrender your steel. No fancy fae outsiders allowed in here with weapons. We’ve made that mistake before. We won’t make it again.”
The fae guard peered through the small square hatch. He had one green eye and one blue, and his teeth were sharp and pointed. He looked nothing like any of the fae I’d met before, and there was a wildness in his eyes that unnerved me. It felt as though it was impossible to predict what he might to next. In fact, I had the strange certainty that even he didn’t know what whim might capture him.
“We mean no harm. We’re just here to visit Grim and talk to the shopkeeper there. Won’t take long.” Rourke’s voice was smooth and calm, but it didn’t seem to have much of an effect on the guard.
“The shopkeeper, huh?” The guard narrowed his mis-matched eyes. “You’re going to have to hand over your weapons then. Otherwise, you can trot back off to your fancy Autumn lands.”
Rourke frowned. Clearly, the Wilde Fae held a grudge against the Autumn fae just as much as the Summers did. We could stand here and talk all day, but this guard was never going to budge. If we wanted to get inside and search for that stone, we were going to have to lose the swords, a fact that did little to steady my unease about coming here.
“If you’d like to turn back now, Norah, then I—”
“No.” I gave a nod and pulled the sword from my back. “It’s fine. We need to speak to that shopkeeper. So, we’ll let you hang on to our swords until we leave.”
A strange smile spread across the guard’s lips. “Very well then. It’s been a long time since we’ve had visitors.”
I slid my sword and my dagger through the opening in the wooden wall, and Rourke followed suit just behind me. His expression was a mask of pure calm, but there was something in his eyes that told me he wasn’t thrilled about the situation. But neither was I. After we’d handed our weapons to the guard, the gates shuddered as he cranked them away from the ground.
Moments later, Rourke and I were inside the village. It was a small, dark, and dreary place. There were about forty buildings in total. From a quick sweep of the premises, I spotted a tavern. No, wait, that was three taverns. There was some kind of butcher shop, a place that looked as though it sold weapons and clothing, and then there was a small squat lit
tle building in the corner. Wooden blocks had been tacked to the front, spelling out the word Grim.
All the windows were lit up by torches or candles, beaming a strange orange glow into the dark of the night. It was a glow that highlighted our surroundings, almost too well. Wilde Fae milled around the dirt-packed ground, cackling and shouting and pounding their fists on their chests. There was a blur of a fight just outside the front steps of one of the taverns, and I swore I saw a trail of blood that led from right where I stood to the front doors of Grim.
“Is it always this lively at night?” I turned toward the guard, but he’d already disappeared back up his little tower overlooking the front gates.
Rourke edged closer to me and gently placed his hand on my elbow. “The Wilde Fae are awake at night. They sleep during the day.”
I stared at him blankly. “So, they’re like vampires.”
“If only.” He tightened his grip on my elbow and steered me toward the little hut in the corner of the village. For that, I was at least grateful. We wouldn’t have to stroll through the throngs of revelling fae. If we were quick enough, they might not even realize we were here.
When we reached the shop, we strode up a creaking set of stairs and reached a door that was covered in claw marks. Deep grooves had been etched into the surface, as if some wild animal had been desperate to get inside. I swallowed hard when Rourke reached out and trailed his fingers down the wood, and my spine trembled at the thought of walking inside.
Something didn’t feel right. But of course this place would feel wrong. There was something twisted about the magic of the Wilde Fae, as if their power had corrupted them into what they had become.
“Stay just behind me,” Rourke muttered underneath his breath. “And if I tell you to do something, do it.”
I swallowed hard.
“Promise me, Norah. You’ll follow my commands no matter what.”
“Rourke, you’re scaring me,” I whispered.
“Does that mean you’ll do what I say?”
A Song of Shadows Page 8