Two To Mango

by Jill Marie Landis

  “Raymond should come too,” Em told Roland.

  Sophie ran over to Raymond. “Detective Sharpe wants you,” she said.

  Raymond held up the mic. “But . . . I have to . . .”

  Sophie took the mic out of his hand. “Bettah you go.”

  Raymond followed Em and Roland.

  Sophie turned around. All over the stage, women were still scratching and screaming like cats in a bag. There wasn’t a Japanese dancer left with a full skirt of leaves. The stage was littered with an explosion of foliage. Bedraggled felt leaves torn from the Maidens’ gowns lay scattered among the real ones.

  The lone uniformed policeman aided by the security guards and visiting kumu stood back and let the women duke it out. Pat Boggs swung a dancer around by her hair. Big Estelle, on hands and knees, her gown in shreds, crawled off into the wings. Kiki screamed at the top of her lungs and charged at two of the dancers. They took one look at her and fled behind the curtains.

  Finally a kumu in the audience grabbed a gourd drum and climbed on stage. He stood next to Sophie at the podium.

  Ta-ta Dum.

  He beat the drum with the standard call to begin, a call for the dancers’ attention. Sophie turned on the microphone.

  Ta-ta Dum. Louder this time. Ta-ta Dum.

  One by one, the Japanese dancers and the Maidens stopped thrashing each other. Slowly they backed off and looked around, blinking as if awakening from a nightmare.

  Ta-ta Dum.

  This time, all of the dancers, including the Maidens yelled, “A’i,” and stood perfectly still. The kumu started chanting. Sophie watched Kiki limp over. While the kumu chanted, no one else moved, not the police officers, the dancers, nor anyone in the audience.

  Kiki’s nose was swelling, and one of her acrylic nails was hanging half off. Most of the fabric leaves had been ripped off her turquoise gown. Her head lei dangled over one eye, her kuikui nut and snail shell lei was missing. She shoved her head lei into place and gestured toward the audience.

  Sophie followed her gaze and saw Marilyn Lockhart. She was staring at the stage in shock and awe with the rest of the audience, but she was still wearing her huge hat and sunglasses.

  “She did this,” Kiki mumbled. “Somehow she’s responsible, and I’m going to get her if it’s the last thing I do.” She looked around. “Where’s Em? Is she all right? What in the hell happened?”

  “Roland took Em to the police station. They think Tiko poisoned Kawika.”

  Kiki looked around. “What are you talking about? Tiko? No way.”

  The kumu’s chant finally ended. The troupe from Tokyo fell into line and limped off the stage. Some were crying, others cradled their arms or wiped bloody noses. Sophie signaled Pat to round up the Maidens.

  “Let’s get out of here quick,” she told Kiki. “We’ll take the girls to Command and Control, and I’ll fill you in.”

  36

  All You Need Is Proof

  Em found a bench outside police headquarters and sat down beneath a quarter moon and a sky spattered with stars. One of the assistants in the office had made her an ice pack. She pressed it to her cheek and tried not to worry about the catastrophe she’d started back at the competition. More than anything she wished she was headed back to the North Shore. She was craving a long hot shower, a good night’s sleep and her morning ocean swim. She needed to forget about the Maidens and Tiko, and more than anything, she wished she’d never agreed to help Roland.

  He found her a while later. She hadn’t budged. The ice in the Ziploc had melted.

  He sat down on the bench beside her. They stared at nothing for a minute.

  Finally Em asked, “Did she confess?”

  “She swears she didn’t poison anyone. I had officers shut down the booth the minute I took her into custody. We’ve obtained a warrant to haul everything in and go through it. If there are any poisonous substances among her supplies, then we’ve got her. Without proof or a confession I can only hold her for twenty-four hours without charging her.”

  “So she denies it. Then why did she run when I asked if she poisoned Kawika?” Em inspected her cheek with her fingertips.

  “The swelling’s gone down.” Roland tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. She’d lost her elastic ponytail band in the riot.

  “I’ve single handedly ruined the Kukui Nut Festival and a friendship. She must hate me.”

  “If she murdered three people, do you really care what she thinks?”

  Em swallowed. “If she did murder three people, and you can’t find anything to charge her with, then that’s just a little worrisome.” Em studied his profile in the dark. “If she is innocent, then I’ve ruined her life and her business.”

  He shrugged. “This is Kauai. A crowd of supporters gathered at her booth when we shut it down, and the officers thought they were going to have another riot on their hands. Tiko has quite a following. Not only do people love those smoothies, but she grew up here. She’s got friends all over the island. Look what happened to business at the Tiki Goddess when that body ended up in your luau pit.” He shrugged.

  He was right. Business had been booming ever since the notoriety.

  “Go figure.” She sighed. “If she’s innocent, I hope you’re right.”

  “She did admit she is in love with Leahe and wanted to see him move up the ranks. We questioned him, and he verified what you overheard.”

  “How did you come to the conclusion she poisoned Kawika?”

  “I saw her make two smoothies yesterday. One for Jackie, and one for Kawika. She said Kawika’s was special. She made them and wrote the names on the cups herself and had Charlotte deliver them. She wanted to be certain Kawika got the right one.”

  “Charlotte is her cousin,” he said.

  “Right. She just moved back here from the mainland.”

  Roland leaned forward, rested his elbows on his knees. “Leahe claims he didn’t want any part of kumu status.”

  “You don’t think he could have done it, do you?”

  He shook his head no. “I saw him on stage. He doesn’t have it in him.”

  “But you think Tiko does? Could she have been doing it all for him?”

  Roland sat back and shrugged. “Depends on how obsessed she is with this guy.”

  “Enough to kill for him?”

  “Yeah.”

  Despite the warm tropical night, Em shivered. “I convinced Kiki to enter the Maidens in competition to redeem themselves. Now their reputation will be worse than ever.”

  “Disaster follows them around. It’s not entirely your fault.”

  “They wouldn’t have been there if not for me.”

  “You can blame it on me. I’m the one who asked for your help.”

  “I could have said no.” She noticed he was still dressed in his aloha shirt and black pants. “You missed your gig again. Did they cancel the rest of the performances?”

  “I heard they cleaned up the mess on stage and carried on. The Maidens’ number was scratched, though.”

  “Great. That makes me feel even worse.”

  She turned to him when he touched her arm. “They’ll get over it. If you’re ready, I’ll drive you home.”

  “I’m more than ready.” As much as she wanted to go home she had to face the music. “But you’d better take me back to the hotel.”

  37

  Assessing the Damage

  “Little Estelle, would you please go refill the ice bucket?”

  Sophie carried a padded faux leather ice bucket across the hotel suite she and Em named Command and Control. The double king suite with its attached sitting room was littered with dresses and makeup bags, wine glasses and wine bottles. Trish and Suzi had already limped off to their room. Wally hadn’t been seen si
nce he escaped the fight, but there was a Do Not Disturb sign hanging from his room’s doorknob.

  Sophie stepped over Pat, who was sitting on the floor in cut-off denim shorts, legs spread wide, lining up cards for a game of solitaire. MyBob was beside his wife on the sofa lending Lillian his support.

  “Why do I have to go get ice? I might miss something.” Little Estelle eyed the bucket Sophie was holding out to her but didn’t reach for it.

  “Because it’s at the far end of the hall. You can drive down there. Besides, look around.” She waved her hand. Flora and Big Estelle were sprawled on the beds. Flora was opening another emergency bag of Cheetos. Big Estelle had brought along a supersize bag of Peanut M&M’s.

  “Do you really think you’ll miss something?” Sophie asked Little Estelle.

  “If I could have driven up on stage, I could have rammed the Gad-About into those crazy wahines from Japan. I’m going to write the Mayor and then the Governor and complain on behalf of elderly and handicapped folks everywhere. I’m going to write the Office of Hawaiian Affairs, the Bureau of Land Management and the Department of Defense.” She wagged her finger in the air. “And don’t think the hotel manager is going to come out smelling like a rose. I’ll start with him.”

  “There’s stationery in the desk. How about you start right after you get more ice? The girls need it.”

  Little Estelle mumbled a couple of four letter words then reached for the ice bucket, propped it on the steering wheel and headed out the door.

  Kiki was splayed across an armchair holding a washrag pressed against a cut on her forearm. Her nose had stopped bleeding. “I sure hope I don’t get staph.”

  “Or flesh eating disease.” Pat stacked a card.

  “That’s not funny.” Kiki lifted the rag and stared at the cut a second. “When do you think Em will get back?” she asked Sophie.

  Sophie wondered how much, if anything, she should tell them. Before she could answer, Big Estelle spoke up.

  “I saw Em walk out with Roland.” Big Estelle was surveying the front of her gown. The right strap was ripped and the material sagged, exposing her bra.

  “Roland took her to the police station. Did you hear from her, Sophie?” Kiki asked.

  “I keep leaving voicemail messages, but she’s not picking up.”

  Lillian’s mascara had smeared into two huge blobs encircling her eyes. Her upper lip was swollen, her bouffant hairdo plastered to her head. MyBob was holding a hand towel full of ice against her lip. She looked like a huge frightened panda.

  She said something muffled by the towel. MyBob translated. “Em got arrested?”

  “No. Em got Tiko arrested,” Kiki explained.

  “Tiko?” Flora had lost the entire ruffle off the bottom of her gown. She rolled over, and the king bed undulated beneath her. “Tiko arrested? Ah, shoots. I loved those smoothies. I musta had four a day.”

  “Em thinks Tiko gave a poisoned smoothie to Kawika yesterday,” Sophie said.

  “Then good thing you aren’t dead too, Flora.” No stranger to a juicy brawl, Pat was in far better condition than the rest of them.

  “What actually happened?” Big Estelle wanted to know.

  Sophie said. “I was in the wings waiting with all of you, and I looked across the stage and saw Em grab Tiko, and they went down. I didn’t wait to see what was going on. I went to help.”

  “That makes no sense,” Big Estelle popped another handful of M&M’s into her mouth.

  “That haole is pupule.” Flora twirled a Cheeto-stained finger next to her temple.

  Pat lined up another card. “Nothing wrong with Em ’cept she probably came out of the same nut roaster y’all did. Not to mention that Tiko chick. I never met a health food junkie I liked. Som’pin wrong with people who don’t eat fat or sugar, if you ask me, which you didn’t so I’ll just shut up.”

  Little Estelle scooted in tooting her horn. “What’d I miss?” She handed Sophie the ice bucket.

  Everyone was still talking at once about Tiko and Em and how such a thing could have happened.

  “Quiet!” Sophie clapped her hands, and the room fell silent.

  She told them about Roland’s suspicions about Mitchell and Shari’s deaths and how he had asked Em to hang around the competition and see if she heard anything that might help him.

  “That’s about all I know,” she finished.

  “So that’s why she pushed us into the competition.” Kiki was working up a full head of steam. “She wanted us here because Roland needed her here. It wasn’t about us bettering our scores or redeeming ourselves.”

  “Now we’ll never know if we’re any better.” Big Estelle sighed.

  Flora tugged the remains of her gown up. “My brother-in-law’s kid says we won the fight. He saw the gals from Japan in the lobby crying and making big huhu.”

  “Oh, great.” Sophie so wished Em would come back. She’d been alone with the Maidens too long.

  Lillian shoved aside the towel and held up her hand. “Can they sue us? I didn’t hit anyone, I swear.” She looked around the room. “I think I need some wine.”

  “You mean whine?” Pat sniffed.

  “You sound like Louie, Lillian. Paranoid about lawsuits,” Kiki said.

  “Well, can they?” MyBob asked.

  Kiki shrugged. “What for? We were defending ourselves. And Em.”

  Flora washed down a mouthful of Cheetos. “Why would Em think Tiko poisoned Kawika?”

  “I’ll let her tell you when she gets here.” Sophie collected Kiki’s damp rag, carried it to the bar sink, rinsed it out and handed it back. Kiki sniffed and pressed it to her arm.

  “We’re almost out of M&M’s.” Big Estelle rattled the bag when it came back around to her. She looked into it and frowned.

  “I’m not going after more.” Little Estelle had parked next to the TV and was channel surfing.

  “Mother, turn that off. I have a headache,” Big Estelle said.

  “I wanna see if maybe we made the news.” Little Estelle kept surfing.

  “Oh my stars. I hope no one in Iowa sees me,” Lillian sniffed.

  “They don’t even broadcast our hurricanes or tsunamis on the mainland,” Big Estelle grumbled. “You actually think they’d put our little hula throw down on national news?”

  “We could go viral on Your Tubes,” Pat said.

  Just then Em came walking through the door. “Oh, no. We’re on YouTube?” Sophie walked over and whispered, “I didn’t know how much to tell them.”

  “I’ll handle it,” Em said.

  “So what’s up?” Kiki looked irked. Her arm was scraped with three long scratches but no longer bleeding. “Talk.”

  While Em filled them in, Sophie finally filled a glass with ice and white wine for herself. Big Estelle offered Cheetos, but Sophie waved the bag away and sat on the foot of the bed.

  “Tiko swears she’s innocent,” Em told them.

  “I can’t believe she did it, but then again, didn’t Marilyn introduce you two? Maybe they’re in cahoots,” Kiki said.

  “Kahoots? Is that by Koloa?” Flora burped.

  “It’s on the mainland.” Little Estelle laughed uproariously.

  Pat slammed a card down. “C-a-h-o-o-t-s. It means they were in on it together.”

  “But why? I can see Marilyn doing it, but why Tiko?” Kiki wondered.

  “That’s what we don’t know for sure,” Em said.

  “Something must have made you suspect her,” Trish said.

  “The investigation is ongoing, so I can’t really say any more right now.” Em looked exhausted as she lowered herself to the floor and leaned against the wall. Flora tossed her a bed pillow. She wedged it behind her.

  “I so wish I’d never gotten myself into this,” s
he said.

  “I’m having the time of my life.” Little Estelle shut off the TV. “If we’re lucky we’ll nab another murderer.”

  Lillian whimpered.

  Certain this night would never end, Sophie grabbed a handful of Kleenex and carried it over to Lillian. “How about some M&M’s, Lillian?”

  Just then Raymond Leahe knocked on the open hotel door and stuck his head in. Away from the mic, he seemed perfectly at ease.

  “E komo mai,” Sophie welcomed him. He was carrying a handful of forms and smiled at all the ladies.

  “Are those warrants?” Little Estelle eyed the papers. “I’m innocent. I wasn’t fighting. I’m a helpless ninety-two-year-old. I can’t walk, and I can barely see.”

  Raymond smiled down at her. “No worries Auntie. I just came to tell you ladies that you’ll get to perform your dance tomorrow.”

  “What?” Kiki walked over to Raymond and glanced at the forms. “We’re performing our competition number? Tomorrow?”

  He nodded. “The Festival committee didn’t think it was fair for you not to have a turn to perform. Only thing is, we can’t use the ballroom. There’s a big Rhino convention checking in tomorrow. They’ll be here all week.”

  “What’s a Rhino?” Flora licked orange off her fingers.

  “You never heard of the Rhinos Club?” MyBob asked.

  The Maidens shook their heads.

  “It’s a men’s service organization like the Lions, the Elks and the Shriners. We had a big crush in our town in Iowa.”

  “You had a crush on a Rhino?” Pat sat up.

  “A crush of Rhinos. A.k.a. a herd.” MyBob smiled.

  Raymond handed Kiki the papers. “Whatever they are, this place is going to be choke with the Rhinos and their families tomorrow. So you folks will perform your competition number out by the pool at one. We’ll set up chairs for the audience, and the judges will be front row.”

  “What about the Tokyo group? Will they be there?” Kiki ignored the forms.

  “Their scores were recorded before the . . . well, before the incident. You were the only kupuna group who didn’t get to perform. So we’re holding up your division’s awards until your scores are added. They’ll be tallied right on the spot, and we’ll announce the winner of your division poolside.”