Breaking the Cycle (Rocking Racers Book 1)

by Megan Lowe

  “She’s perfect,” I say and give her my finger, which she grasps tightly.

  I unwrap her a bit and count her fingers and toes several times. Ten of each, for the record.

  “Thank you so much,” I say, pulling them towards me, my girls.

  “She’s the perfect mix of both of us,” Bria says, tears streaming down her face.

  “She’s perfect, our little Avery Casey Ryan.” I kiss her forehead, inhaling her sweet baby scent.

  “Good thing we picked a unisex name.”

  “You knew, didn’t you?” I ask, my eyes not leaving my daughter.

  “I may have done,” Bria says slyly.

  “I don’t even care. We have a daughter.”

  “Do you want to hold her?”

  “Absolutely.” Bria gingerly scoots over and I join them on the bed.

  She transfers Avery to me and my heart explodes. This little girl I’ve watched grow in her mama’s belly and is only twenty minutes old totally has my heart. Anyone does anything to her, and I swear I’ll kill them. No one hurts my daughter.

  “Hey, princess, I’m your daddy. You are the most precious thing I’ve ever seen, and I promise I’m going to look after you and protect you forever.”

  Bria sniffs and I finally look away from Avery.

  “You two…,” she says, tears streaming down her face.

  “She’s amazing. I thought I couldn’t love anyone as much as you, but now….”

  “I know.”

  “It’s amazing. I can’t believe we made her.” I lean down and kiss her forehead again.

  “I’m so glad to meet you, beautiful girl. I know we’ve already talked lots, but I’m so glad you’re here. You mean the world to your mama and me, Avery, and we love you so much.” The moment is surprisingly calm as she falls asleep in my arms, and Bria takes a few quiet moments. I breathe it all in. Not wanting to forget this feeling.

  Lacey and Pa poke their heads in. “Can we come in?”

  “Sure. Meet your granddaughter and great-granddaughter, Avery Casey Ryan,” Bria says.

  Pa puts a pink teddy on the table beside the bed.

  “You knew?” I ask.

  “I guessed. Bria kept saying ‘them’ or ‘the baby,’ not ‘our son’ so I figured….”

  “You said him with me,” I say to her.

  She shrugs. “It was habit.”

  “Can I hold her?” Lacey asks. As much as I want to say no and never let anyone hold her but us, I know that’s not feasible. I nod and hand her over reluctantly.

  “She’s beautiful,” she says, and Pa nods.

  “Your pop and I appreciate the sentiment too, so thank you,” Pa says.

  “Sentiment?” Lacey asks.

  “Avery was my mother’s maiden name, and Casey was my nan’s,” I say.

  “Lovely.”

  Avery stretches in Lacey’s arms and I jump at the movement. Everyone laughs at me.

  “She’s okay, Reed. She’s just stretching,” Lacey says.

  “It’s just she’s so little and new.”

  “And your baby. Don’t worry, Reed, I’ve done this before.”

  “I know, but she’s ours and so damn precious.”

  So. Damn. Precious.

  Over the next few hours, everyone comes to visit.

  The standouts are Chris, with his eyes as wide as saucers, and Rome, who upon holding Avery for the first time, asks Gray if he can’t put in an order. She tells him she’ll consider it.

  We’re able to take Avery home the next day. I never leave their sides at the hospital.

  I got up with her every time last night, telling Bria she did the hard work, now it’s my turn. I’ve barely left her side, but then again, neither has Bria.

  So far, she’s been a good baby, not fussing too much, and took to Bria’s breast easily. My shorts got very tight the first time I saw her feed her. It’s too bad we have to wait six weeks.

  Bria’s just finished feeding her and we’re standing watching her sleep when she asks, “You’re not disappointed we didn’t have a boy?”

  I sling an arm around her waist, pulling her tight to me and kissing her temple. “Nothing you could’ve given birth to would’ve disappointed me.”

  “She’s perfect.”

  “I know. I don’t ever want to leave her, even for a second. I know it’s not practical, but I guess I just don’t want to be without her. It feels like I’m missing something, like how I feel when I’m not with you.”

  “Oh, honey.” She pats my stomach.

  “We’re a family. We have a daughter.”

  “I know, I was there,” she jokes.

  “Nine and a half months ago I was looking for my next lay, and then you walked into the diner and my whole world changed in an instant. Now I’m a husband and a father and I couldn’t be happier.”

  “I always thought I’d get married and have kids, but when I was at least twenty-seven. I wanted to graduate and work a few years to build my career before I did all this. Then I walked into the diner and all that rolled into one. It’s been a whirlwind but I wouldn’t change anything. I have a loving husband and a beautiful daughter. I don’t need anything else.”

  “We are going to give that little girl the world. Anything she wants is hers.”

  Chapter Forty-Five

  REED

  Avery is four months old and perfect. Not long after she was born, her eyes changed from baby blue to a hazel, green and brown.

  We’ve been pretty lucky. She’s a great baby and doesn’t fuss too much.

  We’ve both been able to spend time with her at home and if Ryan Racing requires our attention, we can usually do it separately, like today.

  The NRS starts up next week, and Liam and Cole had media stuff to do. The hype with Liam as reigning champ and Cole coming on board is insane.

  When Bria comes in she looks exhausted, but the moment she sees Avery resting on my chest, that exhaustion disappears.

  “Hey, beautiful girl,” she says, coming over to us as we chill on the couch. My girl and I are watching Mulan. She likes Mushu.

  “Hey, we missed you today.”

  Bria kisses me then picks up Avery, smothering her face in kisses. She laughs her baby laugh and I smile at the sound. There is no doubting this girl, well, both of them, have my heart.

  “I missed you. Were you a good girl for Daddy?” Bria sits on the couch and I pull her tight to me. I love having my girls close.

  “She was. She’s a daddy’s girl, so of course she was good. How about you? How’d it go today?”

  She blows out a breath. “Hectic. I know Cole and Knley are great together but her family is crazy. They hate Cole and aren’t being shy about hiding it. The media’s having a field day. Add to that the fact they don’t get to spend a lot of time together, and poor Cole’s a bit lost. At least he’s got the series to focus on and take his mind off things, but I have a feeling it’s going to come to a head soon.”

  “Shit, does he know?”

  “I think he’s smart enough to realise it’s got to, soon, but I’ll have a chat with him and Knley about it. She’s coming in for the race but it’s not going to be pleasant. I mean, it’s her family, after all.”

  “Mmm. I don’t like the fact you’re being put in the middle of all this.”

  She shrugs and bounces Avery in her lap. “It’s part of my job. Cole is a Ryan Racing rider and unfortunately his private life is part of his public image.”

  “I don’t miss that.”

  “Just the nature of the beast. To a certain extent he’s used to it, but add in Knley, her star power and family, and it’s a little bit of a freak show.”

  “Where’s her PR in all of this?”

  “Her mum, or mumager, as she calls herself, like she’s some kind of Kardashian wannabe, does it.”

  “Oh.”

  “Yeah, she’s loving all the extra attention. Even if Knley and Cole aren’t doing anything, it’s insane. It’s not like I can do anything
though. Knley and Places have their own agenda, their own stuff they want to achieve. I’m just the PR manager for Cole’s team.”

  “Oh, you’re a lot more than that.” I lean over and kiss her cheek before moving down to her neck, nipping, licking, and sucking lightly.

  “Mmm,” she moans and my dick stirs to life. With Avery being so settled, our sex life hasn’t taken that much of a hit, a fact my dick and I are eternally grateful for.

  In Bria’s lap, Avery squawks as the movie ends.

  “You ready for dinner, baby girl?” my wife asks our daughter after clearing her throat a few times.

  “We’ll finish that later,” I whisper in Bria’s ear as we get up and go to the kitchen.

  Bria gets Avery settled in her high chair while I heat up the veggies I mashed for her today.

  “So what’s on the menu?” Bria asks.

  “For mademoiselle, mashed pumpkin, sweet potato, and apple.”

  “Mmm, yummy,” Bria says, and makes a face. She hates pumpkin.

  “And for sir and madam, a slow-cooked beef massaman curry with coconut jasmine rice.”

  “You really are too good to be true.”

  “No, just nothing short of what you deserve.”

  “I love you.” She leans over to kiss me.

  “And I love you. Now, let’s get our little princess fed and bathed, then we can put her to bed and the fun stuff can begin.” I wiggle my eyebrows at her.

  Avery laughs at the movement.

  “Is that funny, baby girl?” I ask, directing the gesture to my daughter and she laughs again. I lean over and kiss her chubby cheek.

  The two of us get Avery fed and into her bath. She splashes around in the water, soaking both of us, but we don’t mind.

  After dressing her in her Saints onesie, it’s then the best part of the evening. Bria sits in the rocking chair that’s been used for three generations of Ryans and breastfeeds our daughter.

  I sit on the daybed we have in here and watch them until Avery’s little eyelids start drooping and eventually close. We both kiss her forehead before Bria places her in her cot and closes the door.

  I pull Bria into my arms. “So how are you doing?”

  “I’m better now I’m here with my husband and perfect daughter.” She leans up and kisses me.

  What started as a quick kiss quickly turns passionate.

  “Dinner will keep for a bit, right?” she asks breathlessly as we break apart.

  “Yeah.” I nod. “It’s good.”

  “Good.” Bria turns and starts walking to our bedroom, shedding clothes along the way. I waste no time in following her and ridding myself of my clothes as well.

  When I get into our bedroom, Bria is naked and waiting for me. I step through the door, closing it behind me, and Bria attacks. She pushes me against the wall and kisses a path down my body to my rock-hard cock. Without hesitation, she sucks me deep and I hit the back of her throat.

  “Oh fuck!” I exclaim and my head rolls back.

  “Mmm.” She moans and the vibration goes straight to my balls.

  She alternates between sucking me deep and licking the crown and my slit. She reaches for my balls but I stop her, grabbing her under her arms.

  “Uh-uh, I’m not coming in your mouth tonight.” I pick her up and toss her on the bed, her hair flying everywhere. She giggles and leans on one arm, one of her knees bent.

  “You’re a vision,” I breathe.

  “You’re not too bad yourself.”

  I slowly stalk over to her. I get to the edge of the bed and crawl up between her legs, kissing as I go. Her flavour bursts over my tongue and I moan.

  “So good.”

  “Reed.” My name is a moan on her lips as she runs her fingers through my hair.

  I circle her clit with my tongue before moving down to slide in and out of her, sucking up her juices. I replace my tongue with my fingers, one at first, before adding a second. I nibble and suck on her clit before she comes, tightly squeezing my fingers.

  I lick my fingers clean before crawling up my wife’s body and sliding into her wet heat.

  Leisurely, I slide in and out of her, her hips rising to meet me, my mouth attached to hers, my tongue mimicking our movements. I pull back to look her in the eyes, smoothing her hair back from her face.

  “I love you so much, Bria.”

  “I love you so much, Reed.”

  I thrust into her a few more times before we’re both coming hard. Bria bites down on my shoulder to stop her screams from waking Avery, and I swear I come again.

  “Jesus,” I say as I roll us to our sides, my semi-hard cock still buried in my wife.

  “Did you come twice?” she asks.

  “I think I did,” I reply, running a hand through my hair.

  “Impressive,” Bria says as she tries to catch her breath.

  “What can I say?” I kiss her neck. “My wife does it for me.”

  She giggles and I reluctantly pull out of her and go get a washcloth from the bathroom to clean her up. I come back into our room and find Bria throwing the old Ryan Racing shirt she sleeps in over her head.

  “Open for me, Mama.” I hate to wipe away the evidence of our lovemaking but it’s messy and no one wants to sleep in the wet patch on the bed.

  I throw the washcloth back in the bathroom and pull on a pair of boxers. Even though my family are pretty good at giving us space now Avery’s here, they still walk in unannounced and it’s not good for sibling relations for my brothers to see just how blessed I am. Plus, my pop and pa don’t need to see me naked.

  The phone rings, so Bria grabs it and I go get our dinner. By the time I make it back, Bria’s wrapping up the call.

  “Yes, Mum, I’m sure we’ll be able to handle Avery at the track.” She pauses. “Yes, we’ve got baby ear muffs and no, she won’t be exposed to any heavy fumes.”

  “Tell her if she wants,” I say, “we can get her, Aaron, Colt, and Anne passes and they can sit in the box. I don’t think anyone’s using it.”

  “Did you hear that?” Bria asks. “We were going to try and send Pa up there and if you guys are there, he might stay. It would mean Chris would be there as well though,” Bria says. I don’t think that’ll matter to the Adamses, they love Chris as if he were their own grandson. They spoil him rotten, saying that since his maternal grandparents don’t give a shit about him, they will.

  “Yes, I’ll leave Avery with you. I was happy to have her with me, and then Reed would take her after the race, but yes, you can have babysitting duty.” She rolls her eyes.

  I smile and motion to the bowls of curry and rice I’m holding.

  “Look, Mum, your passes will be waiting for you at the gate on Saturday along with directions to the box, and I’ll see you when you get there. Just text me. Right now I’ve got to go. Reed made dinner and it’s getting cold.”

  A pause.

  “Okay, I will.”

  Another pause.

  “Yep, I will.” Bria rolls her eyes and nods. “Yep, I got it. Mum, I really have to go. Okay, I love you both, bye.”

  “Bye, Lacey,” I yell before Bria hangs up.

  “I swear she’d be here 24/7 if she could.”

  “She wants to be near her granddaughter. I can understand that.”

  “Yes, but she needs to realise we’re Avery’s parents and we know what we’re doing, sort of.”

  “Hey, I’m never going to fault anyone for falling in love with our little girl. She has a way about her so you just can’t help wanting to be near her, just like her mama.”

  “Smooth, Ryan, real smooth,” she says and leans against my chest. I hand her a bowl and she thanks me with a kiss.

  We sit, eating and chatting about general things before making love a few more times.

  Around eleven, Avery wakes for a feed. She’ll wake again at three. Quietly and as gently as I can, I slip out of bed and go heat my daughter a bottle. I walk into the nursery and pick her up.

  “Hey, bab
y girl, are you hungry?”

  I sit in the rocking chair while she hungrily sucks down her bottle.

  “You, my princess, are one of the most precious things in my life. I love you so much, Avery.”

  I kiss her forehead, inhaling her sweet baby smell that’s even better than her mama’s, burp her, change her, and tuck her back in.

  I stand and watch her sleep for a while and kiss my thumb and index finger and point to the sky. As I do, I think about all the women in my life, both here and those no longer with us, and I realise just how damn lucky I am. My nan, who, despite only having eighteen months with Pa, blessed him with Pop. My ma, who had five sons before succumbing to ovarian cancer, and my own wife, who overcame Hunter and his goons plus our own insecurities before blessing me with the princess sleeping in front of me. All three women are strong in their own ways, each taking on a Ryan male and winning his heart. I look at Avery and know that despite whatever may happen in the future, this little girl is lucky because she has Bria as a mother, just as I am to have had Elizabeth Avery as mine.

  I go back to Bria and pull her over my chest, her breath soft against my neck.

  I still worry that something is going to happen to her, that around the next corner lies a tragedy waiting to befall her, but if the little girl in the next room proves anything, it’s that together she and her mother are beating the odds and breaking the cycle.

  Epilogue

  BRIA

  Twenty-five years later

  Life with the Ryans is never boring, and with Avery, the first Ryan granddaughter, was no exception. She’s taken the racing world by storm. As an eleven-year-old, she started on the junior circuit before turning pro at just seventeen. I’m sure I went prematurely grey when that happened but Reed assured me she was a natural. Our little girl was racing bikes before she could even legally drive, naturally.

  Now at twenty-five, she’s starting the upcoming NRS season as the previous season’s runner-up, second only to Chris. Together they’re continuing Ryan Racing’s reputation as a powerhouse in action and motor sports.

  Our second child, Chase, is burning up the motocross circuit, and our youngest daughters, Peyton and Kennedy, are taking the cycling world by storm: Peyton as a mountain bike and downhill BMX rider, and Kennedy in road cycling. Kennedy is hoping to compete in grand tours soon, and both have the Olympics in their sights.