“Thank goodness you knew what you wanted, Donovan,” she said, kissing him.
Max rode to Bertha’s Inn. This time, more rational and not so shocked. Penelope had done a number on him, and it was time she heard for herself how nasty and awful she truly was.
Bertha was kind enough to tell him which room she was staying in. He knocked, determined and thinking of Lily.
Penelope opened the door, not expecting him. Her hair and dress were disheveled. Her skin was course and not as beautiful as it had been when covered over with powder and rouge. Without the aid of her beauty products, Max was finally seeing her for herself. No glitter or sparkle shined on her face, and he looked closer to see what had captivated him so. He didn’t see it anymore.
“You don’t look the same,” he said, somewhat relieved.
“Excuse me,” she said. “I haven’t readied myself, Max. You’ve shown up unannounced. How else am I supposed to look?”
“You’re cruel to come back to town and say the things you said.”
“I had no idea you were married. Why don’t you come in and let’s catch up.” She stepped back to allow him to enter her room.
“Whether I’m married or not isn’t the point. And I have no intention of coming into your room. You’ll listen to what I have to say while I stand in the hallway.”
She looked surprised by his forcefulness. She put her hands on her hips and waited.
“You had no right to come back here. All this time you’ve been gone—”
“It’s a free country, Max. I can come and go any place I want.”
“All right then, you have no right to come back into my life. I determine who’s in my life and who isn’t. You had no right to barge in unannounced and uninvited. Since you’ve been gone, I’ve noticed lovely qualities in others you never possessed.”
She sputtered and her face looked ugly. “How dare you say these things!”
“Maybe it was a good thing you came back. Now I know you’re a phony. You play people to get what you want. You were never welcoming to my friends, you never wanted to be what I wanted in a wife.”
“Why that’s preposterous! Of course I wanted to be a good wife to you!”
“You left and I’m a better man today for it. Why I was so foolish to get caught up in your fake beauty and not consider your character, is beyond me. But now that I have a wonderful woman to compare you against, I’m free.”
“Free? You’ll never be free of me. Our love will haunt you for the rest of your life.”
“Not a chance of that. Now go back to wherever you’ve been and don’t even think of coming near me or my wife again.”
Chapter 17
She slammed the door in his face and he laughed as he walked away. No one had ever stood up to Penelope Cooper like that and it had felt fabulous!
Closure felt good, just as Donovan suggested. Lily was everything he wanted, and he had been too foolish to see it. He had been in love all these years with a Penelope that didn’t exist. He was now in love with everything Lily truly was.
The thought hit him hard. He was in love with Lily. He was in love with his wife!
He raced through town trying to find Lily. He went every place he thought she might be.
He had been so harsh and distant towards her. She wanted his love—something Penelope never truly did. Penelope only wanted to be worshiped, showered with gifts and fine things, but she never reciprocated. Her beauty had fooled him, and he had held onto that for far too long. There was more to love than simply being infatuated. Penelope leaving him at the altar had been a blessing in disguise. If she hadn’t, he never would have been free to love the loving, delicate, and gentle Lily.
Lily had to be with Sarah and Thomas. He rode frantically to their homestead and banged on the door.
“Lily,” he called, wanting to sweep her into his arms. Lily expressed her true feelings and devotion to him. He should have done the same, instead of reverting backward and hiding behind their silly arrangement. It was obvious he cared for her from the way he kissed her that night of the first snow, but he had been a coward. He regretted hiding his feelings from her.
Sarah and Thomas answered the door together, concerned by his anxious look.
“Max, what is it?”
“Where’s Lily? I need to see her.”
“Lily’s not here. What’s happened?”
“I don’t have time to tell you, I just need to find her. Where would she be if she isn’t here?”
Sarah thought for a moment, touched at how desperate he was to find Lily. He truly did love her, and that’s all Lily had wanted. Finally, Max had seen the light.
“She teased about going to Oregon to find her friend, Timothy, if your marriage didn’t work out. She said there was always hope with her friend.”
He had to find her before she left for good. Maybe Timothy and Lily’s friendship would grow into something more if he didn’t tell her he loved her. Lily wanted a chance at happiness and she deserved it. If she wanted to go to Timothy now, even if she knew Max loved her, he wouldn’t stop her. He just wanted the chance to tell her the truth.
It was getting late and it was bitterly cold. If Lily was at the station, nothing would be leaving tonight. He had a horrible thought that if she’d gotten there earlier today she might already be gone. His only hope was that there had been delays and no coaches had left today.
The lanterns in town were starting to be lit, and few souls scurried on the boardwalk. He passed Ollie’s restaurant and made his way to the stage company. Poor Lily was so desperate to leave him, she’d freeze in the cold to do it.
At last, he saw her thin figure huddled by the office. She had sunk down on the ground to wait. She had her small satchel next to her, and his eyes watered.
“Oh, Lily,” he cried, jumping off his horse.
She stared at him in contempt. She had been crying until her nose and eyes were red and puffy. Her fierce eyes told the story of her sadness.
“Please, Lily. I’m so sorry.”
“Shouldn’t you be with Penelope? I’d assume she’s moved in by now.”
“Penelope is gone. It was wrong of me to not tell you all about her. She was a part of my past that wounded me deeply. I told myself I was in love her, but I was in love with what I wanted her to be. But you—you are everything I want in a wife, and I didn’t even realize it. I was so wrong and hurtful. Please, give me another chance to make things right.”
“I can’t be in a marriage of polite tolerance with no love and no affection. I know that’s your perfect wife and I know I agreed to that, but I don’t want it. I was desperate to come here, and I agreed to our arrangement because I had to leave Philadelphia. But my heart doesn’t want that kind of marriage. I’ve never been in love or have been loved. You’re just like my father—expecting me to survive on a loveless love.”
“I know. I’m so sorry, Lily.”
“I may have lied to you about my upbringing and education, but I never lied about my feelings for you. Your rejection of my love was the worst kind of betrayal I’ve ever experienced.”
“I’ve been so wrong. Please, please stay.”
Lily looked into his piercing blue eyes. They were like a sweet river, and she wanted to desperately believe him.
“Will you marry me, Lily Pickens?”
“We are married, you fool.”
“I mean married, married. Just the way you described it—with kisses and romance, and hugs and laughter. I give my heart to you—something I haven’t done in a long time. And it’s yours to keep, if you want it. Forever. I love you today and I’ll love you forever.”
She clenched both fists, stood up and grabbed him by his shirt collar, yanked him down and kissed him hard. All the butterflies and snow flurries bounced in her stomach. She loved him and had from the start. She smiled excitedly, and he swooped her into his arms.
Chapter 18
That Christmas season was the brightest Lily Pickens Blackwell had ever e
xperienced. Max started fulfilling his promise to be a devoted and loving husband immediately.
They decorated their tree and teased one another about what they got one another for Christmas. He helped her bake cookies and they ate them together by the fire.
On Christmas morning, they’d opened all their gifts and Lily was about to get up to start preparing their Christmas lunch.
“Wait, my love. I think there’s one more for you to open.”
She looked at him in confusion. “I think we opened them all, Max.”
Then he handed her a small brown envelop. It was plain and had no bows or ribbons. He kissed her tenderly and waited for her to return his gaze.
She looked up at him with a little smile. “What is this?”
“It’s my heart,” he replied. “Well, a letter explaining my heart. We started out writing letters and I thought it might be appropriate to write one now. I hope you’ll see how different this one is.”
Her smile widened as she took the pages from their wrapping and began reading out loud.
My dearest Lily,
When you first arrived, I was taken by your beauty. Already, you had me captivated, And scared. I had been hurt and I promised myself I wouldn’t open my heart to that kind of pain again. As we got to know one another, I repressed my feelings, not wanting to admit that you had made a place in my heart.
I regret now how I made you feel rejected and not wanted. What a fool I’ve been. You coursed through my veins even then, and I knew if I showed any sort of affection, I would have to fully let go of my anger and hurt. I was too senseless to do that.
You have been my true dream all along, but I pushed you away. It was the biggest mistake of my life. It took something drastic to shake me out of my own misery. When I finally realized that I wanted you more than I ever wanted anything, I was too late. Then when I lost you I was terrified.
So now, I give you my heart, my undying love, and my complete trust. I want our marriage to be your ideal marriage. I want love, romance, and affection every day of our life. I pledge myself to you and I ask you to be my wife. Again.
Your loving husband,
Max
Max was now on one knee, holding a sparkling sapphire ring in his hand.
“But we are married,” Lily replied, tears sparkling in her eyes.
“Let’s renew our vows on New Year’s Eve. Start the best year of our lives off the right way.”
She knelt down and held his face in her hands. She kissed him sweetly, tasting his lips. They tasted of spice and cider, but also of him.
“Yes, Max. I’ll marry you again. I’d love to make our love official, finally.”
“Thank you, Lily. I love you. Merry Christmas, my sweetheart.”
She smiled and leaned in to kiss the man she thought she’d never hear those words from. This truly was the best Christmas she’d ever had and she knew she’d remember it for the rest of her life.
“Merry Christmas, Max. I love you, too.”
Book 2 - Ready Made Family
Annie Boone
Chapter 1
Barren.
It was an ugly word. A cruel word. And it described me. My body and my soul. I kept hearing the word boom over and over in my head.
I would never give birth to a child. Never feel life kicking inside me, or watch my belly swell with a tiny, beautiful miracle. Never see the look of wonder on my husband’s face as he held our newborn in his arms.
Phillip and I had tried for years to have a child of our own. Our marriage was perfect otherwise, but the absence of the pitter-patter of little feet made me feel like I failed as a woman. I had failed as a wife, in some respects. The complete devastation in my husband’s eyes made me feel downright useless.
He wouldn’t even look at me as we left the doctor’s office and headed down the stairs to the busy street below. We were lucky enough to live in New York, so we didn’t have to travel far to hear this terrible news. No, we only needed to stroll a few blocks to the well-respected doctor’s plush and comfortable office to have our hopes and dreams crushed into mush.
We walked together in silence and Phillip habitually offered his arm as we turned in the direction of our home. In my grief I took his arm absent-mindedly, never feeling the reassurance that I should have from the gesture. We strolled past the school where the children were playing out on the field, laughing and chasing each other in a blur of childhood bliss. I turned my head, refusing to look, but the sounds of their laughter carried down the block, and I instinctually clutched Phillip’s arm tighter.
I remembered that on our wedding night he had told me how eager he was to become a father. He always spoke about his future son taking over the family business as he had done from his father. The family business was started by his great-grandfather who had been a fine artisan. He crafted custom pieces of furniture, mostly for the wealthy, and his talents had been widely sought out. Their stores carried everything from cradles to dining tables. Our own home was filled with many of the ornate pieces.
Unfortunately, the crib I had my eye upon would never be needed.
The furniture business was flourishing, and it was something Phillip prided himself on, and I of course had encouraged him. Or at least relentlessly teased him. “And what if it’s a girl? Can she take over the family business?”
Phillip would kiss me on top of the head and say, “Well, we shall have to have one of both then won’t we?”
But now there would be no boy and there would be no girl. There would be just the two of us. That was all we would have to care for in life. It wasn’t horrid. It was more than many people get in this world.
I still longed to cradle my infant in my arms, to draw it close to my breast, and watch as it surrenders to the magical realm of sleep. To breathe in that delicious scent that only a newborn has and to touch the wisps of soft curls atop a cherubic face. I knew now, some dreams, no matter how vivid, just weren’t meant to be.
When we arrived back in our home, I removed my bonnet and put it away out of habit. It felt like a normal thing to do when I feared nothing would be normal in my life again. I stood listening to the vast quiet echoing through our empty house. I asked Miranda, our housekeeper, to make us a pot of tea and to bring it out to the parlor. Phillip lit his pipe, and twitched his nose, causing his mustache to shift back and forth.
I looked over at my husband, the sadness of his loss lingering in his dark brown eyes. He leaned against the archway of the parlor entrance and puffed on his pipe, lost to his thoughts. I can only imagine that they were similar to my own. Discovering that you will never be able to bear children is equivalent to the unexpected passing of a loved one. It just happens to be a loved one you never met before.
Miranda brought us our tea, poured two cups, and then closed the French doors behind her to give us privacy. She knew we had gone to the doctor today, but I’m sure she could tell by our grave expressions that the news wasn’t good. She didn’t inquire any further and I was grateful for that.
I took a sip of tea before speaking, noting how Phillip did not touch his cup. He didn’t even sit beside me as he usually did. Thinking I might just go mad from his silence, I stated the obvious. “There are other options for us, Phillip. I’ve been thinking that the orphanage right here in town could be the perfect place to begin.”
He looked at me for the first time since the doctor had told us the truth. “Begin?”
“Why, yes. Just because the doctor says that I cannot get pregnant doesn’t mean that we cannot be parents.” I forced a smile, wanting to believe in the hope of my new plan. “Oh, think of it Phillip, I know we have never discussed it before, but what a wonderful thing we would be doing. Giving a child who has lost so much parents who will love him or her immensely and provide a stable and wonderful home.”
Phillip looked at me, his expression severe as his eyes darkened. He raised his hand already dismissing me before he even spoke. “No. No. That’s not an option.” He shook his head em
phatically. “This is not the life that I signed up for.”
“The life you signed up for?” I forced another smile, but could already feel my bottom lip trembling. Placing my cup back on the saucer, I folded my hands in my lap and looked at my husband defiantly. “Then tell me, Phillip. Just what did you think marriage would be all about?”
“Well not this. Surely you knew there was something wrong with you before you married me. I don’t doubt there were signs. I believe I’ve been betrayed.”
“Something wrong with me? Good Heavens! What is it that you are referring to?”
“You were broken, and you passed yourself off as a woman who could give me the perfect life. The perfect family.”
“Broken! I am not an object, Phillip. I am a human being. How dare you speak to me in such a manner?”
“And how dare you think that I would be just as happy adopting a child that came from some unknown family? I have a reputation to uphold! And I don’t want someone else’s child. I want my own.”
“I see. I’m sorry being married to me has ruined that perfect image for you.” The tears began to fall now, and I felt so foolish crying as he looked at me with no emotion other than disgust. What happened to the man I married? The man who whispered hopes and dreams in my ear and planned a future with me, I thought bitterly. I was about to find out.
Phillip crossed his arms and cleared his throat. “I have spoken to my lawyer, Ava. The papers were drawn up last week, just in case something like this would be revealed to us. You know how I like to be prepared and I had a feeling the news was not going to be good.”
“Prepared for what?” I felt the blood drain from my face in panic and my stomach felt as if it was tied in knots. He didn’t look or sound like the Phillip I knew.
“I am filing for divorce. My business is most important to me, and I need to ensure that I have a family that will carry it on. A public figure such as myself needs to have a family to look responsible. Not having children is unnatural and will not be received well by those who respect me.”
Christmas Miracles: Mega Mail Order Bride 20-Book Box Set: Multi-Author Box Set Page 41