“Divorce me? You’re divorcing me?” My husband wanted to remove me from his life as though I were a cancerous tumor that needed to be carved out. We were married in a church, before God. I didn’t even believe in divorce. My vows were sacred. How could he discard those vows so callously?
Phillip cleared his throat again. “I shall sleep in the guest room tonight. Tomorrow I will move into the apartment I have acquired. You may keep this house, and I will grant you enough money to pay the household bills each month. So, as you can see, Ava, I’m not a complete monster.”
“What will I say to people? To my family? How can I show my face in town?”
Phillip shrugged. “That is no longer my concern, Ava. Handle it any way you like.”
“Phillip, you are mistaken. You are a monster, indeed.” I couldn’t think of anything else to say. I felt discarded, unlovable, and small. What was I going to do now?
Chapter 2
The weeks limped slowly by and I got somewhat accustomed to my life as a single woman. That life included people crossing the street when I turned the corner, whispers as I entered church on Sunday, and having to let Miranda go, because I could no longer afford her.
With both Phillip and Miranda gone, the house was hauntingly quiet. I felt like a ghost lingering about in the place that others had abandoned. I would have welcomed a field mouse into my home, I was that lonely.
The depression could have easily consumed me, but I decided I had to fight for what I wanted. And what I wanted the most was a child. There was an adoption agency in town that I knew only had older children. It seems that older children were not as desirable as infants and toddlers. Isn’t that what Phillip had made me? Undesirable. Matching me with an older, undesirable child seemed like a perfect fit.
Getting dressed I made myself as pretty as possible, and pinned my long blonde hair up. I wore my best hat and carried my umbrella to avoid the sun’s rays. It was dreadfully hot, and I considered taking my gloves off, but it would seem improper to show up not suitably attired. A good first impression was critical to my success. I was certain of that.
When I entered the orphanage, a woman with brown and silver hair tied into a tight knot at the base of her neck greeted me. She was dressed all in black and carried keys off of her hip. She reminded me more of law enforcement than a woman who cared for children. But her smile was warm enough as she called for an assistant to lead the children into the next room for viewing.
There were ten children in total and each one tugged at my heart strings. The youngest was eight, the oldest was fourteen, and every one of them looked at me with a tangible hope. But it was two children at the end holding hands that caught my eye. The freckles sprinkled across their noses were the same on both children. A constellation of tiny brown speckles sprinkled in a nearly identical pattern. I bent down to talk to the boy who looked at me with his bright green eyes. “What’s your name?”
“Daniel, ma’am. And this is my sister, Deanna.”
“Twins,” the owner of the orphanage, Miss Lily, said.
“Twins?” The thought had never occurred to me to adopt two children, but the way they were holding hands, how could I even consider separating them? Miss Lily told all of the children to say goodbye and they fluttered away with her assistant as I listened to her tell me the twins story.
“Yes,” Miss Lily said as she led me out of the room. “A very tragic story. Their parents owned a bake shop. There was a fire, and they were trapped inside.”
“Oh my! How awful for them!” I gasped. See? Phillip had this false understanding that children from orphanages came from disease-ridden, unwanted homes. But these children, Daniel and Deanna, were victims of an unfortunate situation. That’s all.
“Yes, it was. They were six years old at the time. They’ve lived here ever since. They’re nine now. Would you care for some tea?”
“A cup of tea would be lovely. Thank you.” I took off my gloves and hat while Miss Lily made our tea. My eyes wandered over her establishment. It was so dark and gloomy. These children would never grow unless they were allowed to blossom in the sun.
She set the tea on the table, and took a seat. “So, Mrs. Hanover, tell me about your husband.”
“Ex-husband, actually. Phillip and I divorced last month.” As soon as I saw the alarm on her face I knew I had made a rather grave mistake. Divorce was a horrible thing. She crossed herself and I wondered if she thought my condition was terminal or contagious. I tried to be relaxed and continued to sip my tea. “The children, Daniel and Deanna. Would you please tell me more about them?”
Miss Lily stiffened her bottom lip. “I’m terribly sorry, Mrs. Hanover, I was under the impression that there would be two parents to raise the children in your home.”
“Yes, I can see how that would be the ideal situation, but I can assure you I have a lovely home and my husband has left me enough money to care for myself and the children.”
“Mrs. Hanover—”
“Please, call me Ava.” I smiled as winning a smile as I could muster in hopes that she would see from that one smile what a positive and loving mother I would be to the two children who needed me greatly.
“Yes, of course, Ava. I can see that your intentions are pure, but I cannot in good conscience send these children off to be raised in a broken home. You see, it’s one thing if children are present when the marriage fails, but to knowingly place them in that kind of situation is not a good idea.”
There it was again. That word. Broken. I hated that word! My mind was racing as I tried to find an argument to combat its ugliness.
“Perhaps you could allow them to live with me on a trial basis? You could check in on them and see if they are thriving in the home I make for them? My priority will be the well-being and happiness of Daniel and Deanna.”
Miss Lily just shook her head. “I’m sorry, Ava, but that’s just not done.”
“Miss Lily, please let me explain. My husband left me because I am…” I closed my eyes momentarily, willing myself to say the word. “Barren. I was told that I will never give birth to children of my own. If you reject me when I am offering these children a safe, loving home. Well, then you’re no better than he was. You also refuse to give these two children what they so desperately need and deserve.”
She pondered my words for a moment then pursed her lips. “There is one solution. I will agree to allowing you to foster the children.”
“Foster? What does that entail?”
“It means that they will live with you, and you will care for them. However, if a suitable couple wishes to adopt them, you must give them back over to the orphanage. There can be no debate about this point.”
“So, there is a chance that no one will ever adopt them?” I asked hopefully.
“Ava, you mustn’t get your hopes up about that. If they are adopted, it will probably be even more painful to you because you would have become attached to them. But, it’s the best solution I can come up with for you and for them. Take it or leave it.”
“I’ll take it. When can I take them home?”
Chapter 3
I was prepared for a difficult transition for the children, but it didn’t work out that way at all. Life with the children was like a happy dream for me. We took to each other very naturally and I even began to heal from the hurt of the divorce. I began to forget all about Phillip. One day I realized that I hadn’t even thought of Phillip in several days. That made me cheerful all day long.
Daniel and Deanna had filled the void in my heart and I was content beyond measure. But still, the possibility that they could be taken away from me loomed over us like a dark plague. I prayed every night that they would one day be mine forever, but I didn’t see how that would ever happen. I didn’t have a track record of that kind of good fortune – at least not lately.
We were enjoying a hearty dinner together one night and I had a child on each side of me. The evening meal had become a time for us to talk about the day and I cher
ished this time together as a family. I felt like we were family after only a few days.
“If you were married, then you and your new husband could adopt us, right?” asked Daniel.
“Yes, that’s what Miss Lily said, but I don’t see any suitors lining up outside our door for me.” I chuckled lightly and leaned over to muss up Daniel’ hair. He smiled, causing his nose to crinkle.
“Come on, Daniel. Tell Mama what you told me,” Deanna said in a rather coaxing manner.
“All right. What are you two hiding?” I asked with real curiosity.
“One of the boys at the orphanage, well, I heard him talking about why his mother left him,” continued Daniel.
I felt a knot tighten in my stomach. “And why was that?”
“Her husband died, I guess that was his dad. He said she couldn’t support him all by herself, so she went out West to find a new husband. He said that all the men out there are just looking everywhere for wives. Why not go out there and get yourself a husband? Then we can be a real family.”
His face was so sincere and I hated to burst the perfect image he had painted in his mind. “Daniel, I know it sounds like a perfect plan, but that’s just not how life works.”
“Jonathan Sanders said it was true!” Deanna said defending her brother.
I reached out and opened a hand to each of them. Daniel and Deanna looked over at me and then placed one of their hands in one of mine. I felt how small their fingers were as they laced together with mine. “I know your friend, Jonathan, said it was true and maybe it did happen that way for his mom. I wish it were possible, but I can’t leave you two here while I go off across the country to find a husband. I’ll never leave you. Ever. Got it?”
“Got it!” The children said in unison. The good moods returned as they were safe in my declaration that I was not going to abandon them for anything at all.
That night, after I had tucked the children into their beds, the idea Daniel’s friend told him about lingered in my mind. I couldn’t stop thinking about the possibilities. Would it be so crazy to do what Matthew’s mother had done? Could I be so bold in my life? So daring?
I dismissed the notion and got ready for bed. I washed my face, brushed my hair, and cleaned my teeth. Then I said my prayers. Tonight’s prayer was especially long. I had many things to be thankful for and I felt the need to list them all. I also had concerns that I wanted to seek counsel about.
Finally, I turned down the gas light and snuggled into the covers. I couldn’t stop my mind from spinning about the potential solution to my problem. I closed my eyes to try to relax but that didn’t work. A vague memory was tickling my thoughts and I was trying to pull it out. Suddenly it came to me. My eyes flew open wide and my mind became very alert.
I remembered the newspaper in the kitchen. I used to purchase the paper every morning for Phillip and out of habit, I still did. I searched the pages until I found it: Mail Order Brides. There were several ads shown, and I was shocked at just how right little Jonathan Sanders had been. Of course I had heard of it before. But it was nothing more than women gossiping at the seamstress shop. I never paid any real attention to this sort of life choice. Until now.
I promised the children I would never leave them, and I didn’t intend to. They would not be going back to that depressing orphanage if I had any say in that matter at all. Of course this plan would involve serious details and a lot of preparation. But it could be done. After searching my heart, I knew I had what it would take to make it happen.
I studied the ads intently. There were numerous ads from men in California. That was the complete opposite side of the country and if I was planning on taking the children with me, then I would have to get as far away from New York as possible. Truthfully, the children were the only reason I’d even consider a plan such as this one.
The ads required a response via letter, but I didn’t want to wait for that. Every day I wasted could mean that some other family adopted those darling twins that I had come to love with all my heart. No, I’d have to take the ads with me and seek the men out in person. Perhaps if we’re there in person, they won’t be able to refuse the opportunity to get to know us better.
My mind was racing with my plan. I stayed up most of the night plotting everything out. I didn’t want to miss a detail. Failure would mean that the children would suffer. I would suffer greatly, too, if this plan fell through and we got caught.
I was nervous but also terribly excited. Not by the thought of a marriage, that wasn’t a consideration in my plan. It was a means to an end. Having the children safely with me was my only motivation. This plan would ensure I’d be the one to watch them grow up and have a positive influence on their lives.
Chapter 4
The next day the children awoke, and began to prepare for school, but I had other plans. “How would you two like to take a little trip instead of going to school today?”
“No school?” Daniel already had a huge grin on his face at the possibility.
“We’re playing hooky!” an excited Deanna squealed as she danced around the room.
“And actually, you’ll be out of school for a while for this little trip. The three of us are going on an adventure. It will be so much fun!”
“But, Mama, are we allowed to leave? Won’t Miss Lily check on us? She comes here every week.” Deanna pointed out.
I dropped my eyes to the open trunk in front of me and added another dress. I pretended to be busy, but mainly I didn’t want them to catch me in my lie. I felt awful not being honest with them—and I would, just not until I knew we were safely on our way. “Oh, I already arranged for everything.”
They were satisfied with that answer and began packing their possessions into a large suitcase I had gotten out for them. In an hour’s time we were packed and ready to begin. I knew the train would depart at eleven that morning, and we had plenty of time to catch it.
I had already packed two full trunks with possessions I couldn’t bear to leave behind. I had some family heirloom dishes and linens from my grandmother that would come in handy as I set up a new household in California. I also packed all my personal items so that I wouldn’t have to spend money to replace these things when we reached our destination. The trunks were heavy, but they would travel in the train cargo area just fine, I was sure.
I had arranged for a delivery service to take our cargo to the train station and they would be arriving shortly to pick them up. We would be leaving immediately after that to go to the station.
The reality that I most likely may never see my home again, caused me to waver. But only for a moment. I looked down into the faces of the two who had captured my heart only a few months ago. They were everything to me now. I would do anything for them.
“What’s wrong?” Deanna asked, seeing how my mood had altered for a moment. I was looking over every detail of the comfortable house that Phillip and I had created together. The irony hit me that as soon as there were children within the walls of this house, I was the one departing.
It truly was time to move on. It was time for me to claim my destiny.
I stopped what I was doing and put my hands on Deanna’s shoulders. I beamed a smile at her and replied, “Absolutely nothing, sweetheart.”
The train pulled up, and the look on the faces of the twins made me so proud that I was able to offer them this little luxury. They had never been on board a train and although Phillip and I had done our share of traveling, it was still exciting to me when the conductor called for us to board.
I watched as the men loaded our luggage, and I suddenly felt like a criminal. I was sneaking away with these children. We would most likely never see New York again, and I wasn’t even honest with them. True, their parents were gone, but it was the only town they ever knew. The only school they had ever attended. They had friends and they enjoyed their life there.
“Let’s hurry and get on!” Daniel shouted as he started to jump up onto the steps.
“Just a min
ute, Daniel. I need to tell you and Deanna something first.”
“Can’t you tell us on the train?” he whined.
“No, I can’t. I think it’s best if you know before we board.”
Deanna slipped her hand in mine. “It’s all right. What is it, Mama?”
I took a deep breath before I made my confession. I also looked around us to make sure that nobody would overhear what I was about to say. “I gave what you said last night a lot of thought.”
“What did we say?” Daniel asked. Typical boy, he didn’t even remember the dinner conversation from the night before. I wanted to laugh, but I had to get this done quickly so we could be on our way.
“About Jonathan Sanders and why his mother left.” The twins looked at each other and exchanged a grin.
“So, is that what we’re doing? Are we going to find you a husband?” Deanna squealed.
I shrugged. “Looks like it. But please keep your voices down for now. We don’t want anyone to hear this right now.”
The children began jumping for joy. “This is so exciting,” they whispered enthusiastically to each other.
“It is exciting, but I must be honest with you. Miss Lily, well she doesn’t really know about this.” My mouth was dry as I told them the truth about the lie I had told that morning.
The twins looked at me with wide eyes. Their jaws dropped in surprise. “Oh, no,” said Daniel.
“She would never allow us to go out of New York together. This would never work if she knew about it. Do you understand?”
“Do you think she’ll come after us?” Daniel asked a look of concern on his face. He looked older all of a sudden, like he wanted to protect us somehow. I was so proud of his brave spirit at that moment.
Christmas Miracles: Mega Mail Order Bride 20-Book Box Set: Multi-Author Box Set Page 42