“I honestly don’t know. But I cannot adopt you without a husband and I want to adopt you as my own very, very much. This is a risk I must take.” I knelt down to their level. “I’m doing this for you and for me. For all three of us.”
“Then, I think we should go,” Deanna said.
“Me too,” Daniel agreed.
I threw my arms around them and held them in a tight embrace. I already loved them so much and could not for a moment imagine my world without them. I stood back and looked at them. I had one more bit of news that couldn’t wait.
“I also need to tell you that I made our train passage reservations under new names. I didn’t get a chance to ask you what you’d want your new name to be, so I hope you like what I chose for you.”
Deanna nodded and replied, “I like it that you’ve chosen names for us. It’s almost like you renamed us when we became yours.”
I felt tears fill my eyes. In my heart these children were mine even if I hadn’t given birth to them. I was giving them a new life just as I was taking one for myself.
“Daniel, you are now named Oliver Graves. Deanna, you are now named Vivian Graves,” I said with a little uncertainty as I watched them to see their reactions.
Daniel nodded. “I like it.” Then he smiled.
Deanna smiled immediately and said, “Oh, what a beautiful name! Maybe I’ll grow up to be beautiful, too. Just like you, Mama.”
My heart melted at their trusting acceptance of my plan and their obvious love for me. At that moment, I was more than sure I was doing the right thing.
“And I’m changing my name from Ava Hanover to Emily Graves.”
Then the conductor stepped onto the platform and brought a hand to the side of his mouth, making his voice echo. “All aboard! All aboard! This is a New York train bound for Sacramento, California. Final call for passengers! Final call!”
“Well, Vivian, Oliver, I do believe he is speaking to us! Let’s get on this train so it doesn’t leave without us!” We scurried onto the train as a family, throwing caution to the wind and embracing our great adventure. The quest to find my husband and a father for the children had begun.
It was all in motion now. There would be no turning back for me and my little ready-made family.
Chapter 5
The entire train ride to California we practiced our story, making sure we had it down to the last detail so we wouldn’t forget it. I kept reminding the children, and myself, that we must become the people in our story. We had to make it all believable.
We were indeed a family in every sense of the word, so that part was easy. They didn’t have to learn to call me a new name since they had been calling me “Mama” since about a month into their time with me. At least that part was easy.
Our story had several important points that we worked on constantly during the journey. My husband, the twin’s father had died when he had been thrown from a horse two years ago. We tried to make it on our own, but we were running out of money and needed a fresh start and perhaps new opportunities. Our story took on bits of the truth where possible and we included that the twins had talked me into making this move.
The journey was long and tiring. When we finally arrived in Sacramento we were bleary eyed from seeing the countryside passing by us through a small window. All I wanted was a bath and a decent bed. The children didn’t care about a bath, but they did need to sleep.
We found a hotel suitable for our needs above a restaurant. There was a lively feeling to this part of the town. I feared we’d never get any sleep with the way the customers below were laughing and singing. I was worried it would go on to all hours of the night. As it turned out, I need not have worried about that. The three of us were so tired that the noise wouldn’t bother us at all that night.
I knew I needed to narrow down my husband search, but that task could wait until morning. Within a few minutes the children were snoring and the sound lulled me to sleep as I dreamed of what our future would be.
In the morning, we all took a much needed bath. I felt revived as did the children, though they were less inclined to relish the feeling than I was. Once we were presentable again, we went down to the restaurant for breakfast. The smell of eggs, bacon, and coffee was very comforting. As the children smiled happily over their warm meal I scanned the ads again.
“Did you find any you like?” Vivian asked as she reached for more bacon.
“Why yes. Three actually. Hopefully one of them will be a good match.”
“Tell us about them.” Oliver said his mouth so filled with egg it was almost impossible to understand him.
“Oliver, mind your table manners.”
He blushed but swallowed and then asked again. “Could you tell us about them, please, Mama?”
Now I was the one blushing. I pulled my chair closer and showed them the paper where I had circled three ads. “This one sounds ideal. His name is Dr. Charles Watson.” Vivian leaned over.
“He’s quite handsome,” she smiled at me sheepishly.
“And a doctor means money, right?” Oliver asked as he popped another piece of bacon into his mouth. Vivian and I looked at him crossly. “What? I was just being honest.”
“Try not to be so honest, Oliver. It’s rude.” Vivian said as she rolled her eyes. “What about the other ones, Mama?”
I felt my eyes sting. Every time they referred to me as their mother it made me realize the enormous responsibility I had taken on. It still tugged at my heart whenever either of them called me their mama. I think they enjoyed having someone in their life to fill the role. It had been a while since they had a mother figure in their lives and It had been forever since I had been one.
“The second is a man who works in construction.”
“That means he builds things, right?” Oliver wanted to confirm.
“I know what it means!” Vivian gave him a shove in the arm.
I chose to ignore their sibling squabble, at least this time. “His name is Vance Gifford, I’m rather fond of his picture.” Vivian nodded in agreement.
“And the third candidate is a rancher, Henry Sawyer.” Vivian screwed her nose up at his picture and I laughed. “Well, beggars can’t be choosers, can they?”
“You’re not a beggar. You’re beautiful,” Oliver affirmed.
“He’s right. Any man would be happy to have you.” Vivian chirped. I smiled. I felt so special that these two loved me so much and were not embarrassed to shower me with compliments.
I hadn’t thought of Phillip for a while, but Vivian’s emphatic claim that any man would want me couldn’t be more untrue. I was in this mess because the one man who had me, left me. I thought I had reconciled that in my mind, but I was emotional with the changes I was making.
Rejection wasn’t an easy thing for any person to take. Phillip’s rejection and the reason for it had devastated me. I hoped that I would be able to handle any new rejection that might be headed my way as I set out to find a father for my twins.
Chapter 6
I sought out the parson of the town, Pastor Brown, and asked his advice on what I should do with the children. Telling him our sad tale, he encouraged me to place them in the local school for now. I told him that I didn’t know if things would work out for us in Sacramento or how long we would be here, but he felt it was more beneficial to them to attend school and have a sense of normality.
After thought and prayer, I agreed Pastor Brown’s suggestion. The next day, I enrolled the twins in school.
With the children at school, I was free to officially meet the men who might be eligible candidates. I headed over to the doctor’s office and met with an elderly woman who sat at a little desk in a tiny waiting room with two chairs. “May I help you?”
“I hope so,” I said with a smile. “I don’t have an appointment, but I was hoping to meet with Dr. Watson.”
“Certainly. He’s just finishing up with a patient. You can sign this sheet and he’ll be with you shortly.”
“Thank you.” I signed and waited in the chair, happy that she didn’t inquire further about any ailments I may have had. But I couldn’t help but notice she kept looking up at me.
“I’m sorry. Have we met before? I feel like I know all of my son’s patients.” So this was Dr. Watson’s mother. Well she seemed nice enough. What if she was my future mother-in-law?
“No. I’m new in town.”
“Oh!” She straightened up. “Welcome. Where did you come from?”
The door creaked open and two men walked out. I was relieved by the distraction. One was an older man who appeared to be a farmer, judging by the way he was dressed. He wore a plaid shirt, trousers that were tattered a bit, and suspenders. His boots were caked with dirt. He held his hat in his hands, twirling it around and around.
Beside the older man, dressed impeccably in a black jacket and knotted loose bow tie was the man who must be Dr. Watson. I recognized him from his picture, and he was even more handsome in person. The men spoke for a bit about the elixir the doctor had prescribed and then Dr. Watson’s mother saw the farmer out.
Dr. Watson turned to me, a bright smile on his face. He offered me his hand, “I don’t recall seeing you before. I’m Dr. Charles Watson.”
“Emily Graves. My family and I just came from out East.”
“That’s a rough road to travel. I suspect you want to make sure you didn’t pick up any health issues along the way.”
“It wasn’t so bad, we traveled by train.”
“How lovely. I’m sure you got to see so much of our great country.”
“That we did,” I replied politely.
The doctor opened the door to his examining room and I was grateful when I stepped inside and was away from his mother’s prying eyes and ears. He sat on the edge of his table where I assumed the last patient had just been lying and looked at me thoughtfully. “So what can I do for you? Thorough check-up?”
“Uh. No.” I opened my bag and pulled the crinkled advertisement out. “I’m sorry to come uninvited, and without a proper letter being sent to you sooner. My life out East has had several hardships, and I wanted a new start. For me, and my two children. I have twins, Oliver and Vivian. They’re nine. We lost my husband in an accident, and well… I came across this.” I extended my hand to offer him the newspaper page. He accepted the page and nodded, reading it over. He didn’t respond.
“I know it was wrong of me not to write first, but seeing as I’m already here, perhaps we could get better acquainted.”
“Mrs.—“
“Graves. Emily Graves.”
“Mrs. Graves. I certainly wish you had written, not because you don’t seem lovely and I am truly sorry for the loss of your husband. My sincere sympathy to your children, as well. I did have another woman answer my ad, and well, I married her just last week.”
I felt my heart slip straight into my stomach and land with a thud. “Oh.” I said meekly. “I see. Well congratulations to the two of you.”
“I am so sorry, but please understand that if you or the children ever need anything medically I am happy to help,” he said brightly as he handed me the torn out page from the newspaper.
I accepted the ad from him, and nodded glumly. There was nothing more to say other than, “I am truly sorry for wasting your time.”
“You didn’t waste any of my time, Mrs. Graves. It was very nice to meet you and I wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors.”
I thanked the doctor again and avoided eye contact with his mother as I left the office. It was a shame that Dr. Watson was already married. He truly seemed like a good man. He had been polite and kind in a somewhat embarrassing situation.
The second man was not as easy to track down, but I managed to ask just the right questions to the right people to discover that he had lunch every day at the restaurant below our hotel. Word was that he dined daily at one o’clock in the afternoon.
It was already after twelve, so I had just enough time to freshen up in my room before going downstairs. When I entered the restaurant I spotted Vance Gifford right away. He had his head down, his gaze on his soup, as he dipped a crust of bread into the broth. Even from across the room I could see how piercing blue his eyes were, and I felt butterflies in my stomach flutter.
“Lunch for one?” the restaurant hostess asked when I indicated I was there to be seated.
“Actually, I’m meeting Mr. Gifford. He’s there at the table in the corner,” I smiled confidently.
She furrowed her brow, clearly not believing my lie.
“Thank you, I’ll just make my way over there now,” I said.
She nodded her head as I walked away to meet the handsome Mr. Gifford.
I pushed my hair into place and smoothed my skirt as I approached his table. When I stood beside him, he didn’t look up. I wasn’t sure he even knew I was there.
“Excuse me, Mr. Gifford?” My voice was shaker than I would have liked, but I smiled warmly as he looked up at me, locking those dark blue eyes on mine. They were mesmerizing and I couldn’t look away. He didn’t say anything, just stared, and I felt myself stammering. “My name is Emily Graves. I—” I went to pull the ad out of my bag, when he stopped me.
“If you’re selling something, I’m not interested,” he gruffly interrupted.
“No, oh no, not at all. I just wanted to, um, speak to you.” I fished for the ad and pulled it out of my bag. My hand was shaking and the ad was beyond crumpled. He looked down at the paper.
“Sorry, whoever sent you was mistaken. The position has been filled.”
“Position?” I responded in question. That was one way of defining a wife, I supposed.
“Yes, over at the mill. I hired a guy last week. So you can tell your brother or husband or whoever you’re here representing that the job is no longer available.”
“I think you have been mistaken.”
“No, I think you have. I work hard all day and this is my one hour of peace. Can I just enjoy the remainder of my lunch without a sales pitch?”
“I’m sorry to have bothered you, sir,” I said. I felt my eyes sting with the onset of frustrated and embarrassed tears. I turned and rushed out before he could utter another hateful word.
When I got back to my room I allowed myself to cry for the first time since I put this plan into motion. Two rejections. Maybe I was better off without the second man. He was so rude, I’m sure he would have scared the children.
I didn’t have the heart to seek out Mr. Sawyer, the rancher’s son, this afternoon. I decided to start fresh tomorrow. Perhaps today was just an unlucky day. Tomorrow was a new beginning.
Chapter 7
The morning dawned bright and full of promise. My disappointing rejections from the previous day were pushed as far back as I could push them. I had prayed fervently before I went to sleep the night before that God would speak to me and lead me in the right direction. I was hoping this morning that this was the road that would inevitably lead to our happily-ever-after.
I was up and dressed before the children so that I could be on my way as soon as they were off to school. I hurried them when they finally got up and was lucky that they followed instructions better than usual.
The Sawyer ranch was my destination today while the children were in school. It was too far out of town for me to walk and I didn’t have a horse or a buggy at my disposal. I was referred to a man who could take me out to the Sawyer ranch. His charge for the trip was reasonable in my estimation and considering he was my only option on short notice I hired him immediately when he said he could do it.
If this didn’t work out, then I would have to review my options and potentially change courses. I suppose I could find work, but there would always be the fear of Miss Lily showing up to take the children back—or worse, having me arrested for kidnapping.
I pushed those dark, ugly thoughts out of my mind and tried to remain positive. My faith should help me remain positive, though in the back of my mind I knew that what I
had done was a sin. I had done it for the right reasons, but breaking the law no matter the circumstances was still a sin.
“Here you are ma’am,” my driver said as he pulled the wagon over to the side of the road. “This road here leads to the ranch. It’s about a quarter of a mile’s walk. You’ll see the main house, it’s white with a big front porch.”
I paid him what we had agreed upon, and he helped me out of the wagon. When he pulled away, and the trail of dust kicked up behind him from the horses, I suddenly felt very alone. I hadn’t thought this through. If this went well, that was wonderful, but if it went the way the first to had, I didn’t even have a way to get home.
Again, I pushed those negative thoughts away and held my head high as I ventured down the road. By the time I reached the house, I was sweaty from the heat, and my skirt was covered in dust. But there was no turning back, I had to keep going.
The house was beautiful, and the ranch in the back was breathtaking. The horses were out grazing and I looked at California in a new light for the first time. This was possibly a place where I could truly make a home.
I knocked on the door and waited as the sound of light footsteps from behind the door drew closer. The wooden door swung open and a very pretty older woman stood looking at me. She smiled slightly and tilted her head a bit to the side.
“Hello, can I help you?” she asked.
“Hello. Is this the Sawyer ranch?” I responded.
The woman knitted her brow. “Yes,” she answered with a bit of uncertainty.
I sighed with relief that the first hurdle was behind me. I had made it to the right place.
“I’m just going to get right to the point,” I said to take her questions away immediately. Hopefully, my honesty would win me something. I already had the ad in my hand, and I held it up to show it to her.
Her eyes went to the square of paper and she nodded slightly and she looked back up at my face.
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