Playing at Love

by Taylor, Jennifer

  Louise smiled, used to Carol’s love of the dramatic. Her friend might be one of the best staff nurses on the wards, but she did have a penchant for being a shade over-imaginative. ‘Well, he isn’t, or, if he does it as a sideline, obviously he didn’t think that I’d fetch much on the open market. I’m back, aren’t I? What more can I say?’

  ‘A great deal, from the look of you! There’s more to this than you’re admitting to, Louise Carter. I just wish I had more time to prise the details out of you, but I have to go, if you’re sure you’ll be all right. Simon would love to have you join us, I know he would. It is our last night here, after all.’

  ‘And I have no intention of spoiling it for you both by playing gooseberry. Go and enjoy yourself, Carol. I’ll be fine, honestly.’

  ‘Well, if you’re sure...’ Carol stood up, smiling mischievously. ‘I know you only agreed to go with Lord to teach him a lesson, but are you sure he didn’t teach you a thing or two? Make sure that when we leave tomorrow you won’t be leaving your heart behind. If you feel anything for him, then for heaven’s sake forget your pride and tell him...before it’s too late!’

  Carol left and Louise got up from the bed, wrapping her arms tightly around herself to ward off the sudden chill If only she could take her friend’s advice and tell Wyatt how she felt! But what was the point in even thinking about that when she knew that all he would do was laugh in her face? She couldn’t bear to have that happen, couldn’t bear the thought of him accusing her of making up more lies, couldn’t bear the thought of seeing him again!

  She glanced round the room, her eyes dropping to the suitcase standing at the end of the bed. She’d not bothered to unpack, contenting herself with taking out her robe and a few toiletries, and now she wondered if all along she had known what she must do, that she must leave before Wyatt came back to end this strange relationship for good.

  It took only minutes to dress in a plain white pleated skirt and T-shirt, and a few seconds more to re-pack her robe and clear the bathroom. Once she was ready Louise took a last look round the elegant bedroom, then picked up the case, checking that she had the note she’d written for Carol to tell her what she was doing. She would leave it at the reception desk for her friend, a brief explanation that she’d gone to the airport to try to book on to an earlier flight home. Undoubtedly Carol would be full of questions when they met up again, but she would worry about how to answer them later. For now all she could concentrate on was leaving before Wyatt came to find her, and broke what was left intact of her heart.

  What had started out as a dream come true—winning the luxury holiday—had ended up as a nightmare that was going to haunt her for the rest of her life.

  There was no one on the reception desk when she arrived downstairs. Setting her bag down, she rang the bell, then stood tapping her foot impatiently as she waited for someone to answer. Outside a coach had just drawn up, bringing a group of holiday-makers back from one of the organised trips around the city. Louise shot a glance at the closed door to the office, then moved aside to avoid them as they spilled into the hotel’s foyer.

  ‘So there you are. Is this just a fortunate coincidence finding you down here, or were you waiting for me...eager to get your hands on the money?’

  Her blood ran cold as she heard the familiar voice behind her. She swung round, her heart pounding so fast that she felt breathless. ‘I...I...of course.’ She forced a smile, watching the way his eyes narrowed, cold and pale as they searched her face. ‘A coincidence, I mean. I had no doubt that you’d be here to pay me what you owe. There’s too much at stake to take any chances now, isn’t there, Wyatt?’

  He swore softly as he caught her by the elbow and half dragged her across the foyer and out through the sliding doors that led on to the terrace. ‘You never leam, do you, Louise? You always have to push things just that bit too far!’

  ‘Me push you? I didn’t know I was even capable of that. That does surprise me, darling.’ One part of her couldn’t quite believe what she was saying, couldn’t understand where she was finding the strength from when what she really wanted to do was fall in a heap at his feet and beg him to let her explain. But somehow she managed to find it, enough to stop her from breaking down.

  ‘Let’s cut the acting, shall we? From here on in our relationship is at an end. So save all your endearments for those who appreciate them.’ He smiled harshly, glancing back at the busy foyer before looking back at her with a question in his eyes. ‘Perhaps you weren’t waiting for me after all, Louise. As you said, you knew that money was more or less in the bank, so maybe you’d already set your sights on your next...project.’ He laughed slowly, the sound more insulting than she could ever have imagined it could be. ‘I recognised one of the men who was getting off that coach as I came in. The same man who was singing your praises to me by the pool that day. I must say that I admire your single-mindedness, honey. You don’t believe in letting the grass grow under your feet, do you? Not when you have a living to earn.’

  How could he? After what had happened between them last night, how could he just stand there and say such things? For a moment Louise just stood and stared at him, every bit of pain and hurt she felt shining in her tear-misted eyes, then turned and headed back inside.

  ‘Wait! Don’t you walk out on me!’ He caught her by the shoulder, a restrained violence in the action as he swung her around and glared down into her face. ‘This isn’t finished yet, not by a long way.’

  ‘Isn’t it? Why, what else is there to say, Wyatt? Have you more insults you want to make, more accusations? I’d have thought you’d said all there was to be said along those lines, but, if it pleases you to carry on, then do so.’ Her voice was flat, devoid of feeling now. She was hurting so much that she doubted if anything he said could hurt her any more, but she should have known that he’d find a way to torment her.

  His hands tightened on her shoulders, his eyes blazing as he hauled her to him and held her so close that she could barely breathe. ‘Damn you! Damn you to hell, Louise, for everything!’

  There was a moment when her mind had a chance to wonder at the bitterness in his voice, and then he bent and kissed her with a bruising, insulting force that made her struggle wildly. Then just as suddenly he shoved her away from him, his eyes cutting into hers for one long moment before he slid his hand into his jacket pocket and pulled out a long white envelope. He tossed it at her, his mouth curled in derision when she made no attempt to catch it. ‘Careful, sweet. You don’t want to lose that, do you? Not when you’ve worked so damned hard to earn that fee.’ He turned to walk away, then stopped and glanced back. ‘Oh, by the way, I added a bonus to the total, a little something extra for last night, you understand?’

  He pushed the doors apart and walked back into the hotel without another word. Louise stared after him, unaware of the tears falling slowly down her ashen face. Slowly she bent and picked up the envelope, smoothing the crumpled paper out between her shaking fingers before ripping it open and pulling out the cheque it contained. The words blurred in front of her eyes and she blinked hard, then stared down at the thin sheet of paper, every bit of her aching at what it represented. Such a lot of money, yet no amount of money in the world was enough to pay for a broken heart and a love that was lost forever.

  But Wyatt would never, ever know that now, and that was the most painful part of it all.

  CHAPTER TEN

  ‘SO JUST keep an eye on Mr Jones in the end bed. He’s been a bit restless during the night. I don’t think there’s any need for concern, but a bit of extra attention wouldn’t come amiss.’ Louise handed the file of notes over to Carol and smiled wearily. ‘And that’s it. It’s all yours, my friend. I’m going home to a well-earned sleep.’

  Carol grinned, but her eyes were concerned as they studied the waxen pallor of her friend’s face. ‘Well, make sure that is what you do. I know night shift is a drag, but you look worse than I’ve ever seen you looking.’

  ‘Nice to know you
can rely on your friends for comfort.’ Louise smiled to take the sting out of her words. ‘Don’t worry, mother hen. I shall be a good girl and go straight home to bed as promised.’ But would she sleep? The question ran through her brain as she gave Carol a final wave and collected her cape and bag. That was the real trouble, of course. It didn’t have anything to do with a week of working nights. No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn’t seem to sleep. Her body ached with weariness, her mind begged for the release of sleep, but every time her head hit the pillow she came wide awake. When would it ever end? When would she start to put what had happened in America behind her and live again?

  There was no answer to the question now, just as there hadn’t been one for the past month since she’d got back. It wasn’t only Carol who was starting to query why she looked so drained either. Only the previous day her mother had called round at her flat and delicately tried to find out what was troubling her, but Louise hadn’t been able to talk to her about it. The hurt was just too raw and ran too deep to talk about even with her mother, whom she loved dearly. It was something she was going to have to learn to come to terms with, because there was no cure for what she felt. She still loved Wyatt, loved him with her heart, her soul, with every crazy bit of herself, and that was just the way it was going to be.

  The sun was shining when she pulled up in front of the tall Victorian building where she rented her flat. Louise parked her car, then climbed out and stretched as she drew in a lungful of the warm, sweet air. Although the house was minutes from the heart of the city, it was quiet here, overlooking the green stretch of grass that marked the beginning of Sefton Park. She glanced up at the window of her flat, then back across the park, feeling strangely loath to go inside and shut herself in her room to make another abortive attempt at sleep.

  Tossing her cap and cape into the back of the car, she locked the door then walked slowly on to the grass and slipped off her shoes, dangling them from her fingers as she carried on walking. The grass was cool and slightly damp against her stockinged feet, reminding her vividly of the time she’d walked barefoot along the beach on the night of the engagement party.

  ‘Wyatt!’ She whispered his name softly, lovingly, allowing herself the rare freedom of saying it aloud. She’d tried so hard to blank out all the memories in these past lonely weeks, but maybe that had been a mistake. Maybe she should have allowed herself to think about everything that had happened. Maybe she should do that, face the pain and hurt and futility of what she felt and in that way find release from it.

  She walked over to a clump of trees and sat down on the rough grass, letting her mind drop all the barriers she’d tried so hard to erect, and slowly the memories came back, one by one, so vivid and painful that she cried out. She pressed a hand to her lips to stop the sound, glancing round, afraid that someone might have heard, but the park was empty at this early hour of the morning, the peace and quiet barely disturbed by the throb of an engine as a car drew up not far from where she’d left hers parked. Louise glanced incuriously at it, then closed her eyes, letting her mind drift back to a time that was both painful and beautiful, and felt a shudder run through her as the memories came again, uncurling inside her head: Wyatt holding her so close—too close—as they’d danced that night at the party, his pale eyes glittering with amusement; his lips brushing her temple, warm and hard; his face filled with desire as he’d loomed over her just an instant before they’d become one...

  ‘Wyatt!’ Tears were coursing down her face now, but she couldn’t feel them, caught up in the agony and the ecstasy as the final barrier crumbled.

  ‘Don’t! Sweet heaven, Louise...don’t!’

  The shock was so great that she felt her heart stop. For a moment that touched eternity she kept her eyes closed, terrified to open them. It was just her mind playing tricks, that was all. Some kind of crazy hallucination.

  ‘Won’t you look at me, honey? I know I don’t deserve anything from you, but please!’ His fingers were gentle as he caught her chin, so gentle that they might almost have been a part of that hallucination if her body hadn’t instantly recognised as real the touch it craved so much. Her eyes flew open and she stared at him with a blatant, undisguised hunger. He swore roughly and knelt down beside her, his hand shaking as he cupped her cheek.

  ‘I don’t know what to say, Louise. Words aren’t enough to make up for what I did...what I said to you!’ There was a note of anguish in his deep voice that shocked her. She drew in a short, sharp breath, then let it out slowly as she stared into his pale, glittering eyes, seeing all the regret, all the pain...and something else, something that made her feel both giddy and afraid.

  She scrambled to her feet, smoothing the skirt of her navy dress, her face very pale. ‘Wh-why have you come here, Wyatt?’ She glanced round, watching a woman leading a dog across the grass on the end of a long lead. The sound of its happy barking carried in the quiet air, yet it seemed as though it were happening a million miles away from where she was standing staring down at Wyatt. She forced her eyes back to him, watching as he stood up and pushed the dark hair back from his forehead in a gesture that was so achingly familiar that she could have wept. ‘How did you find me?’

  He smiled harshly, a strange bitterness in his voice. ‘It isn’t difficult to find anything out if you have the kind of connections I have. All it takes is the desire to do so and the information is there for the asking, every scrap of it.’

  Her heart turned over at the way he said that. He sounded like a man in torment, a man who had suffered, but why? She took a half-step towards him, then hesitated, suddenly afraid. ‘I don’t understand,’ she said quietly. ‘Just what do you want with me now? I...I thought our agreement had come to an end in Miami.’

  His face went rigid, every line so tight that he looked as though he’d been carved from stone. ‘Yes, it did! The arrangement I forced you to agree to.’ He turned and slammed his fist against the rough bark of the tree, seemingly unaware of the damage he inflicted on himself. ‘I did a lot of things a month ago that I should never have done, Louise!’

  ‘Your hand...Wyatt.’ She rushed forwards and caught his bleeding hand between both of hers, staring up into his set face with concern. ‘Look what you’ve done!’

  He barely glanced at it. ‘It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters apart from the fact that you give me time to apologise for what I did to you.’

  Her heart ached, but she forced a trembling smile, trying to hide the agony she felt. She didn’t want apologies; they were merely a sop which wouldn’t stop the pain. What she really wanted from him was something he could never give her. ‘It doesn’t matter now. Obviously you must have found out the truth about me, so there doesn’t seem any point in discussing it further.’

  ‘And you’re not interested in how I found out the truth?’ There was just the faintest trace of anger in his voice now that stung her into replying.

  ‘Should I be? I knew what the truth was all along. It was you who were so stubborn, so all-fired sure that you were right about how I earned my living Why should I want to listen to anything you have to say to me now, Wyatt Lord?’ She picked up her shoes and slipped them on, then stared coldly at him, hating the way her eyes feasted traitorously on the muscular lines of his strong body. Although he was still deeply tanned there were new lines around his carved mouth, a hint of suffering she’d never noticed before. Just for a moment all the love she felt for him blossomed and filled her with all its warmth and wonder before ruthlessly she drove it from her mind. ‘If you made this journey just to say that you were sorry, then I’m afraid you’ve had a wasted journey. I don’t want your apologies. I don’t want any damned thing you can give me to ease your conscience, thank you!’

  She started past him, her breath coming in laboured spurts, her heart hammering fast and furious in her breast. One step, two... She’d almost reached the road before he spoke, his voice filled with an anger that far outstripped her own.

  ‘I didn’t come just
to apologise, damn you, woman!’

  She spun round, her face unconsciously haughty, her grey eyes stormy as she raised a mocking brow. ‘Indeed? Then why did you come? Surely not to ask for your money back now that you realise I don’t need it to keep me?’ She laughed lightly. ‘Sorry, Wyatt. You’re too late for that. Your nice fat cheque has been cashed already!’

  His anger was almost tangible as he strode towards her and stopped far too close. ‘Has it indeed? You didn’t waste much time in benefiting from what happened, did you, Louise? There I was imagining that you’d be distraught, but you were out spending the cash!’

  Her hand caught his cheek a stinging blow. He had no time to side-step, just as she’d had no time to think twice before administering it. He deserved it, that and a whole lot more, for everything he’d done, all the pain and hurt he’d inflicted upon her and was still inflicting now! ‘For your information, Lord, I haven’t spent a penny of your rotten money. Understand? Not one penny! I don’t need your money or anyone else’s to support me. I earn what I need! Your cheque was paid in to the hospital’s scanner appeal fund. I imagine you’ll be receiving a letter of thanks very shortly from the trustees. They were most impressed that an American businessman cared enough to make such a generous donation. And it was generous, of course: ten thousand dollars for my part in tricking the Huttons, plus another five thousand for my virginity! At least I’ll always have the satisfaction of knowing that my loss was a benefit to innumerable people!’

  She turned to walk across the road, feeling the tears gathering in her eyes. She wanted to hate him so much, yet she couldn’t. She loved him.