Xander: Part 2, The Present (Rockstar Book 14)

by Anne Mercier

  “Go on now. Play with your friends. You can play with me tonight.”

  He points the drumstick again, then bites a fist, growling. He plants a kiss on my lips, dipping me back.

  He growls again, setting me upright. And then he’s gone.

  “Holy hotness,” Nicole declares.

  I can only nod. Now I’m worked up, too. My little game backfired.

  We make our way back to side-stage and I watch my husband and brothers entertain tens of thousands of screaming fans. I couldn’t be more proud.

  When the show’s almost over, Shea looks at me smiling.

  “What?” I ask.

  “You haven’t freaked out once.”

  My eyes widen in surprise when I realize she’s right. I had more of an issue being surrounded by security than I did walking through a crowd in the hallway. I guess walking downtown helped. Being bumped and shoved by strangers must have toughened me up more than I thought.

  I laugh, happy, giddy, knowing I can do this with Xander—knowing I want to be a part of this with him.

  “You’re going to do it, aren’t you?”

  I nod.

  “We have to go,” I tell her, pulling her hand.

  “What? Where?”

  “New York.”

  “Right now?” she screeches, and Carter laughs.

  I nod. “Now.”

  “At least wait for Xan—”

  “Here they come,” Carter cuts in.

  Xander struts up after he throws his drumsticks out to the crowd. He’s all sweaty and smiling and shirtless and happy. All of that—and he’s mine.

  “What’s going on?” he asks.

  I laugh, still a bit high on happiness.

  “I can’t do this anymore!” I shout at him.

  “What?” he asks, his brows furrowing.

  “I can’t do this, I have to go.”

  “What? Where are you going?” he asks, beginning to panic, but I don’t notice. I’m too amped up knowing I can finally do this, knowing I am going to do this.

  “I need to go do this, Xan. I’ll call you as soon as everything’s settled. I promise.” I hug him and kiss him hard on the lips. “I love you.”

  “I love you, too.” He shakes his head, confused.

  “I’ll call, I promise!”

  He nods, still confused.

  I pull Shea who pulls Carter and we leave the arena.

  “Know anyone we can borrow a plane from?” I ask.

  “Let’s just charter one,” Carter tells me. “When we get on that flight, you need to explain to me what the hell just happened. Then you need to call your husband and explain it to him.”

  34

  XANDER

  I stand there watching Tera, Shea, and Carter move through the crowd wondering what the hell just happened.

  Lucy looks at me in concern. “What’s wrong?”

  I shake my head. “I don’t even know what the hell just happened. She said she couldn’t do this anymore, laughing like it was the best thing in the world, then announced she had to go, told me she loved me, and promised to call me.”

  I stand there.

  “What the fuck?”

  Lucy can only blink. “Let me try calling her.”

  I nod. I don’t have my phone. I don’t have shit. I don’t even have my wife. She just bailed.

  “She wouldn’t be happy like that if she didn’t want to be with me, right?” I ask Lucy. “And she walked through the crowd without security and didn’t panic.” I pause. “What the fuck!”

  Lucy grabs my hand. “Let’s go find somewhere quiet so we can find out what the fuck.”

  I nod and follow blindly behind her.

  I’m so confused.

  If she leaves me again, I won’t survive it.

  35

  LUCY

  I think I know what’s going on, but I need to find out for sure. I’ve been trying to reach Tera for three days.

  “Fuck this,” Xan spits out. “I’m going to find her.”

  “You don’t even know where she is,” I reason.

  “I’ll find her,” he insists.

  “Sit down, brother,” Linc urges. He hands Xan a beer. “Relax. We’ll figure it out.”

  I walk out of the room and dial Tera for the thousandth time, losing my patience.

  “Hello?” Tera answers.

  “Finally!” I shout. “Where the hell did you go?”

  “Um,” Tera replies. “I’m in New York.”

  “Is there a reason why you haven’t been answering your phone?”

  “I left it on the plane we chartered. Today was the first day I had time to go get a new one,” she explains.

  “You didn’t have time over the last three days?” I bite out, a bit pissed.

  “No. I was busy packing.”

  I pause. Packing could be good.

  “Explain to me, please, what the hell is happening right now,” I plead.

  She explains. I listen. Then she asks me for a favor.

  I really, really like her.

  36

  TERA

  “How did you manage to come here and him not come with?” I ask Lucy and Sera.

  Lucy blows out a breath and rolls her eyes. “It was not easy. He kept on insisting.”

  “He’s going nuts not being able to talk to you. Good deal calling while he was in the shower and leaving voicemails,” Sera tells me. “Well done.”

  “I didn’t want him to be that upset, not to the point he was. I mean, him talking about quitting the band—yikes,” I say.

  “Yeah, he was tormented those first three days. You coulda planned that a little better for the sake of my sanity,” Lucy tells me.

  I wince. “Sorry. I just wanted to pack everything, so it could be shipped while everyone was here, in New York, for the concert.”

  “I got the permission we needed. How exactly do you want to do this?” Lucy asks me.

  “Here’s what I had in mind…”

  I feel like I’m going to puke and it has nothing to do with the baby in my ever-expanding belly. There’s no doubt now that I’m pregnant. I had to get stretchy jeans. I hate them. I’ll stick to my yoga pants and leggings.

  “Hurry up!” Lucy whisper shouts, pushing me into a room backstage. She yells, “Zip it!” to Spenser just as he’s about to do that squeal/yell thing he does when he’s excited.

  “I knew it! I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!” he exclaims, rushing toward me to hug me. “Oh my, how our little bambino has grown in a week.”

  I sigh. “I know. This is going to be massive.”

  Lucy nods. “And then some. Jesse’s been wondering what’s going on since they’re going on before we are, but I’ve been keeping this secret.”

  “Thank you. I know it can’t be easy,” I tell her.

  “Whatever,” she waves it off. “He kept you a secret for the entire time we’ve been together, he can deal.”

  I laugh.

  “Let’s get you fixed up,” Spenser announces, pulling me away from Sera and Lucy. Meggie bounces in, Trace and Jace following close behind.

  “I can’t even tell you how excited I am,” Meggie laughs out as she continues to bounce on the balls of her feet.

  “We can see,” Trace tells her. “I gotta tell you, Tera. You sure know how to make a statement.”

  I blow out a breath as Spenser works his magic.

  “Let’s just hope it works.”

  Damian sneaks me around to the other side of the stage. It’s cluttered with containers and boxes for all the bands’ gear.

  He catches me when I nearly trip over a cord.

  “That’s why no one goes on this side of the stage,” he informs me.

  “I see.”

  “Be careful. They’re almost done, and you don’t want to be seen, right?”

  I nod. “I’ll stand here. You can keep an eye out.”

  The wait for Falling Down to clear the stage and the crew to set up Blush’s equipment seems to take for
ever. I knew it would be a good forty-five minutes to an hour. I should have brought something to occupy my hands. I wouldn’t have been able to focus anyway. Not when my heart is threatening to leap up through my throat. My stomach is still flip-flopping, and I’ll admit to my knees being a bit weak.

  I peek out and see all the people. I gulp. “That’s a lot of people.”

  “What did you expect for Madison Square Garden?” he asks. “Remember, you won’t be able to see too much when the lighting is on you, so pretend it’s only Lucy and Sera there, just like you practiced.”

  “Good idea. I hope it works.”

  “You’re saying that a lot. Have faith. This is going to be epic. The press and the fans are going to eat this up,” he assures me.

  “That’s not helping to calm me down. What if I throw up out there?” I wonder aloud.

  “You won’t be the first nor the last.”

  “Great,” I reply wryly. Some help he is.

  “Here we go,” Damian tells me. They announce Blush and the music starts. They play their first song then yell to the crowd.

  “Oh God, oh God, oh God.”

  “Go get ‘em, Tera,” Damian tells me with a smack on the ass. I’m wearing casual attire. Leggings, biker boots, a black and pink Blush tank. Spenser left my hair down stating it’d be better for the photos.

  I walk out on shaky legs.

  “We have a surprise for you all! A very special guest is joining us on stage tonight!” Lucy shouts.

  I make my way out there, fiddling with the ear piece. Like I’m going to be able to work this thing.

  The crowd cheers, but I can tell there’s confusion.

  “You’re probably wondering who this is, am I right?” Meggie asks.

  The crowd shouts a resounding “yes”.

  “Well, my friends, this is our friend, part of our family, and famous painter Tera Ramirez Mackenzie!” Sera shouts. “She dropped the ‘Ramirez’ when she and Xander said their ‘I do’s’ over a decade ago!”

  The crowd goes wild.

  I wave and take a seat on the stool they put out for me. Lucy and Sera take seats on the stools on either side of me.

  “Hi everyone!” I shout. “I’m a little nervous. It’s my first time on stage.”

  “We popped her cherry Madison Square Garden!” Jace shouts.

  The cheers are deafening. Now I understand the ear piece.

  “I have a story to tell you and then we’d like to sing you a little song. How does that sound?” I ask.

  I tell them mine and Xander’s story, how we met up until now, leaving out all the details. Glossing over the reasons we were apart by calling them “misunderstandings”. Then I explain why I wanted to be kept out of the spotlight.

  “But now I’m ready to stand in the light right next to the man I love. My husband, Xander Mackenzie!” I shout.

  Now’s about the time he’s supposed to be walking out here… but he’s not.

  Damian talks in my ear. “He doesn’t want to go back out. Jesse’s dragging him down the hall now. Just go on and sing. He’ll hear it.”

  “Looks like the Xan Man has a little stage fright,” Lucy mocks. “We don’t need him anyway. Sing for ‘em, Tera.”

  They play the music and I sing. We use the melody to the song Xander wrote when we were apart: Forever Blue. I changed the lyrics to make it fit our situation, to make it happier.

  * * *

  Come out here, walk on stage, I want you to know

  I’ve been looking for you, come join the show

  You’re a diamond in the rough, a true gem to find

  You’re my soulmate, always on my mind

  * * *

  I’m here now, here to be with you

  I walked in the door and since then it’s been forever you

  A girl in pigtails, I didn’t have a clue

  You stole my heart and every day since it’s been forever you.

  * * *

  Together and apart, we found a way to

  Find our way back to one another, always and forever you

  My husband, your wife, we make each other whole

  A love I feel down to my soul

  * * *

  No one will love you better than you, Xan

  No love purer than that of my husband

  * * *

  I will never leave you alone, this I promise you

  Since you walked in the door it’s been forever you

  I love the way you do what you do

  You own my heart, it’ll always be forever you.

  * * *

  The crowd has their cell phones and lighters raised when I open my eyes. I feel him behind me. I felt him when I began to sing, but I knew if I looked at him, I’d never make it through the song.

  “Tera Mackenzie serenading her husband, everybody!” Lucy cheers.

  I turn to him now, his cheeks wet with tears.

  “You sound a hell of a lot better than you did that day on the playground,” he tells me and everyone laughs.

  “Thank God.”

  “I was so afraid you’d left.”

  I shake my head. “Never. Never again. I knew I wanted this, all of this with you.”

  He pulls me to him and hugs me so tight. I hug him too.

  “I packed my apartment. Everything should be there when we get home,” I tell him, Lucy holding the mic close so everyone can hear. Oh boy.

  “Jesus, I thought you left. I was ready to quit, to give everything up and come to you,” he confesses, his body shaking.

  “Why would you want to do that when I don’t have to give up anything to be in LA with you? I gain a family. It’s win-win,” I murmur.

  “I love you so fucking much, Tera.”

  “I love you so fucking much, too, Xan.”

  The audience laughs.

  “You said home. You’re finally coming home,” he whispers.

  “Xander,” I pull back. “I’m already home.”

  He hugs me tight again.

  “Did she tell you?” he asks. “We’re having a baby!”

  Cheers explode, making it hard to hear myself think. On second thought, I’ve done enough thinking. It’s time to live instead.

  Epilogue

  XANDER

  “Push, Tera. Just a little more,” Dad tells Tera.

  “Screw you. You push. Just a little more. I’ll give you a little more,” she yells.

  “Good, let’s go!” he replies. He’s got bigger balls than I do. I’d never in a million years say that to Tera right now.

  She growls and digs deep, pushing hard. I’m sitting behind her, helping to support her back while she leans forward, giving it all she’s got to give birth to our baby.

  I think I’ve said two words. I’m scared shitless. She’s in so much pain and Dad’s acting like this is normal. This cannot be normal. I feel how hard her stomach tightens.

  “There’s the head,” Dad praises and Tera pants.

  I make a face at all the goo and blood and Tera snickers. “You should see your face right now.”

  I grin. “All that… goo and blood.” I scrunch up my nose.

  “I’m totally not looking. I don’t want to see how big my vagina has gotten to accommodate this child,” she pants.

  “It all goes back to normal,” Dad reminds her. “Do Kegels.”

  “Kegel this,” she says, giving him the finger.

  Dad laughs. “I know you don’t really mean that. It’s the pain talking.”

  “No, it’s really not. I mean it. I mean it a whole fuck of a lot,” she replies.

  Dad just laughs more.

  “Dad,” I begin, “ixnay on the aughinglay.”

  He laughs again.

  “You got a death wish, old man?” I ask, in shock.

  “One more little push, not too hard, Tera. You’re a superstar,” he croons.

  “Damn right I’m a superstar,” she answers. “Just look at this baby hanging out of my vajayjay.” A contraction hits and she gro
ans, pushing a bit and out slips the baby.

  “Whoa,” I mutter.

  “It’s a baby girl!” Dad announces. “Do you wanna cut the cord?”

  “I don’t want to move,” I tell him.

  “No worries.”

  They bring the baby close and hand me some scissor-like thingies to cut the cord. It’s kinda gross, really. I get mesmerized by our daughter as the nurse suctions her mouth and nose, and a second nurse cleans off the gunk. Yuck.

  “Jesus, Tera. Look at her. She’s so small. Look, her face is all scrunched up just like yours does when I fart. And look at all that dark hair,” I ramble.

  “It’s no wonder you had heartburn,” I continue. I read that in a book somewhere. I think Tera thinks it’s bullshit, but I think it’s all true.

  “Hold the phone!” Dad yells.

  I sit up, and so does Tera.

  “What’s going on?” I ask.

  “Is that a foot?” Sandy asks, and my skin grows cold. I begin to sweat.

  “What?” I squeak.

  “Damn, would you look at that,” Dad announces.

  “What are we looking at!” I yell. “Answer me, old man!”

  He looks up at me, the baby crying in the background while the nurse swaddles her, his eyes crinkled in laughter.

  “Just kidding!” he tells me with a laugh.

  “You are in so much trouble, old man,” I begin, then notice Tera’s shoulders shaking with laughter. “You!” I accuse. “You were in on this?!”

  She laughs even harder, then groans when Dad does something down there.

  “I think I peed my pants a little,” I confess.

  “Life with you is never going to be boring,” Tera tells me through her giggles.

  “You know it. I’m full of all kinds of fun, and everyone knows life is more fun with a little Xananigans.”