We both laughed. “Anita’s sweet, I can see why you’d know her, but Tessa? Tessa Lockhardt? Way out of your league, my man. She’d eat you for dinner.”
I looked at him seriously and shrugged. “Actually, we have several classes together. She seems nice.” I tried to keep it as casual as I could muster. Nice was definitely not a word fitting of Tessa Lockhardt.
Matt pointed across the bar and I turned to see a group of dark haired ladies. In the middle was my raven beauty. Her long, sleek, straight black hair stood out from the others, and when she turned, beautiful violet eyes stared back at me, but she had a look of confusion, even more than I had seen that morning when we had first officially met.
It felt like a wall had gone up between us and my wolf growled in my head. It was freaking me out, but Matt was watching me closely, so I slowly nodded.
I wasn’t fully engaged in conversation from then on, but Matt was too self-absorbed to notice. Lunch ended, and I paid the bill just as Tessa was leaving. I said a quick goodbye and ran to catch up to her.
“Hey, Tessa,” I yelled.
She turned, surprise in her eyes. “Hey, it’s Chase, right?”
Ouch. That sucked. I suppose the signs I had seen and felt earlier were only in my head.
“Yeah. Hey, about the graphic design assignment due next week. If you need any help, just give me a call.”
I handed her my business card with my contact information and grinned wide enough to pop out my dimples. I knew the ladies loved them, and always used them to my advantage. Tessa melted just a little and I was relieved to see I wasn’t entirely going crazy.
“Thanks,” she said, motioning towards the card in her hand.
“Tessa, come on,” her friends yelled from a car at the corner.
“Gotta go,” she said, and then she was gone.
I stood there wondering what had just happened. It was Tessa, my Tessa, but everything felt so wrong. I was losing my mind. I had been planning to go for a run after lunch, but instead headed straight home. I needed to talk things through with someone who wouldn’t just laugh in my face.
The walk across campus helped clear my head some. I let myself in the house and was glad to find it quiet for once. I headed to my room and plopped down on the bed after tossing my backpack on my desk.
Hitting the silencer button on the dampener my oldest brother, Kyle, had given me as a graduation present to help with the noise of dorm life, and later fraternity living, I picked up the phone and dialed my other brother’s number. Liam was four years older than me, but we had always been close, and I respected his opinion. Plus, he was the least gossipy of all my siblings.
I was the youngest of five. My father had been Alpha of the Westin Pack until an injury had passed powers on to my oldest brother Kyle. Fortunately, with a little help from Kyle’s mate, Kelsey, Dad had made a full recovery.
I called my brother on his cell, even though I knew he would still be in the office at that time of day. His secretary, Christine Canine, liked to talk and I wasn't in the mood for her chit-chat.
“Hey little brother, what's up?” Liam answered after only one ring. “Not like you to call in the middle of the day. Everything okay?”
“Yeah, sure. You busy?”
“Never too busy for you. Hold on one second.” I heard him lay down the cell and speak. “Chris, hold all my calls till I say otherwise . . . yeah . . . okay . . . thanks.” Then he returned to me. “You never call this time of day. What's wrong?”
“Nothing's wrong. Can't a guy just call his brother without it being a big deal?” I suddenly wasn't sure I wanted to confide in him.
“No, so spill it.”
I opened my mouth to tell him again there was nothing wrong, but everything just came pouring out. “I met this girl, and we sort of connected. It feels like I'd imagine finding a mate would feel, but she's not a wolf, Liam, and I'm not sure she feels the same. Then one minute I'm certain, this is my mate, and then I see her again and it's like, nothing. I mean nothing, nothing. I spent all morning with the girl, and my wolf was acting all possessive and content at the same time, then we ran into each other at lunch and she acted like she barely knew me, and it pissed off my wolf so now I feel like I'm losing my freaking mind!”
I expected my brother to laugh, but he didn't. “Why do you think she's your mate? What are you feeling?”
“Seriously? You want to talk feelings?”
“Do you want my advice or not?”
“Fine. When I'm near her it's like the rest of the world just fades away. It's only her. I recognized her the first day of classes. I realized later, it had been even sooner, but it had freaked me out so bad that I had gotten drunk and didn't remember till we went back to the same sorority a week later and I smelled her. But then it was like I'd see her and just, you know, know. And then I'd see her again and nothing. Today I met her face-to-face for the first time. She's so easy to talk with and just be with. I find myself just blurting stuff out to her that I don't tell anyone. Then at lunch today after spending three classes in a row getting to know each other, she acted like she barely recognized me, and my wolf tried to growl at her, and it's got me so freaking messed up, I don't know what to do, dude.”
“I dunno man—that recognize her one moment, but not the other—it doesn't sound like a true mate. Your wolf would never try to growl at your mate. Honestly, it sounds like you really like this girl and it's probably just wishful thinking.”
I didn't think that was the case. Regardless of how it seemed, I just couldn't accept that, but I conceded just the same. “Yeah, I guess you're right.”
We moved on to other topics and chatted for a bit before he put me on hold.
“Ok,” he said when he returned to the call. “Just spoke with Maddie and I'm going to drive on up and hang out this weekend. Is that cool? I haven't been up to the ARC in too long anyway, and you just sound like you need some brother time. Your roommate is abroad for the semester, right?”
“Yeah, come on. It would be great to see you.”
As we hung up, with plans for the weekend, my heart felt a little lighter. No matter what crazy curveball life threw my way, I always knew my family had my back.
Jenna
Chapter 6
I caught myself looking for Chase all day Tuesday. We didn’t have any classes together and I had been in a sour mood all day. I was shocked to realize how much I missed him. How could I miss someone I barely knew?
Tessa walked into my room without bothering to knock and flopped down on my bed. I was grateful she had insisted we not share a room, and even more so that there was one available that I didn’t have to share with anyone else either. Since panthers liked their solidarity, the house was chosen because of its extra rooms and with a lower number of girls living there, almost all of us were granted some space.
“Hey Tess, what’s up?” I asked, trying to sound cheerful.
“Tell me about your dog friend. He’s pretty cute, but well, he’s a dog, Jenna. You know better.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Chase Westin. He stopped me yesterday and gave me his card in case I had any issues with our graphic design homework. Since when are we taking graphic design?”
“Sorry, a couple classes I was interested in came open and I grabbed them. It was a selfish whim, Tess. I wasn’t thinking.”
She shrugged. “It’s okay, the same thing happened to me and I already called Daddy and told him. He was fine with it.”
She held out the card, but snatched it away as I went to grab it.
“Tessa,” I scolded in frustration.
“First, tell me about Chase. He’s very cute, and flirty. Those dimples are to die for.” I bit back a hiss as she continued, watching me closely. I knew she was testing to see my reaction. I wouldn’t give her the satisfaction. “He called me by my real name though, which seemed weird, like he really thought I was in his class. Threw me off guard.”
“He did?” I asked s
adly, but she didn’t seem to notice. Did Chase think I was Tessa then? I wracked my brain to try and remember him ever using my name. I couldn’t. Had I told him I was a twin? I didn’t think it had come up and I was so used to people knowing, that it hadn’t really dawned on me.
Tessa seemed distracted by something on her phone, so I snatched his card away. Was Chase just being nice to me to get to Tessa? It had happened before, but it didn’t explain the feelings he invoked in me. I had been so certain he was my one true mate.
“Wait,” I said, remembering something Tessa had said. “Did you say Chase Westin was a dog? Like the D.O.G. fraternity or an actual canine?”
Tessa laughed. “Both, actually. You didn’t know?”
The look on my face must have given her the answer because she doubled over laughing.
“Sweetie, Chase Westin. Westin, as in the Westin Pack. He’s a wolf, a highly sought after man-whore of a wolf, if rumors are even partially true.”
“A wolf?” I wasn’t sure anything she could have said would have shocked me more. “But he hangs out with Matt Williams, so I just assumed he was a jag.”
“Nope.”
I groaned. “Anita told me she met a wolf and then she introduced us in calculus yesterday. I just didn’t put two and two together. A wolf?”
Tessa got up, still laughing. “At least I don’t have to worry about you getting any crazy ideas now.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Let’s just say Chase was a little too happy to see me, or rather, you.”
Happiness blossomed in me. He was happy to see me? Even if it had been Tessa and not me, if he had thought it was me, then that had to be good. I was still in shock to hear he was a wolf. It couldn’t be true.
I tried to finish my homework, but I couldn’t stop picturing large snarling wolves, and had a tough time reconciling the images with Chase. Tessa had to be wrong. Then there was the issue of the bond. Could I really have been that off base? There’s no way a feline would be mated to a canine. It wasn’t possible.
I struggled against the urge to call him all night long. I had never felt that need with anyone, not even guys I’d actually dated.
Waking the next morning after a long restless sleep, I dragged myself to the shower and made a small effort to prepare for the day. In the end, I threw my wet hair up in a messy bun, and donned jeans and a school sweatshirt.
I had always had a quiet, passive rebellious side. I knew I was down dressing, part in exhaustion, but more as a statement. Tessa had called Chase a man-whore. If looks were all he was interested in, he wouldn’t give me a second glance today. Looking in the mirror I sighed, but with no time to fix it, I grabbed my backpack and headed off to my first class, calculus—with Chase.
I knew without looking around that he wasn’t there. Anita was, though, and gave me a quick wave as I headed down to the front row. I one arm hugged her as I took the seat next to her. She looked me over.
“Rough night?”
“Something like that,” I mumbled just as the now-familiar wave of goosebumps hit me. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, preparing myself for something, though I didn’t know what. I had somehow convinced myself that I imagined his effect on me, after hearing he was a wolf shifter.
“Good morning, ladies,” he said, and the shudder that wracked my body from hearing his voice made me angry.
“Morning, Chase,” Anita said cheerily.
“Morning,” I grumbled.
He sat down next to me and stared until I couldn’t stand the heat any longer and looked up at him. He genuinely smiled—dimples and all. I melted inside. Warm fuzzies fluttered in my stomach. Mate, a small voice in the back of my head sighed, and I wanted to lay my head down and cry. I bit my bottom lip, letting the shock of sharp pain stall my tears.
Chase didn’t say anything, and I couldn’t decide if I was grateful or infuriated.
At the end of calculus, I said goodbye to Anita and headed to graphic design class. My entire body was hyperaware of Chase.
“Hey, wait up,” he said, rushing to catch up to me. “You okay today? You seemed a little off at lunch the other day. I’ve been worried. Plus, you didn’t call me.”
My mouth fell open, but I didn’t know what to say. It was obvious he thought Tessa had been me, but how? He clearly didn’t know, but why couldn’t he tell? He either didn’t feel the same things I was feeling or . . . I didn’t want to think of it. Tessa and I were identical twins. Identical! Did that mean our own mate couldn’t tell us apart? Would he feel the same for both of us? The thought made me sick to my stomach and I gagged as I rushed to the nearest bathroom, ignoring his concerns.
I didn’t throw up, just dry heaved a bit. I washed my mouth out anyway, gargling water and spitting it into the sink. I splashed some water on my face and added a little lip gloss.
Walking out of the restroom, I was surprised to find Chase waiting for me. He didn’t say a word at first, just wrapped his arms around me. I froze, and then relaxed into him with a sigh. I let his scent wash over me in a moment of indulgence.
“Are you okay?” he asked, sounding very worried. I nodded against his chest but couldn’t find the words to speak. “Do you want to skip graphics today?”
“Yes, but I’m not going to,” I said, starting to pull away from him. It was a lot harder than it should have been. My entire body was on fire and my panther pranced happily in my mind, purring. My panther would only purr for her mate. It was a million times clear to me in that moment, that despite all odds or the impossibility of the situation, Chase Westin really was my one true mate.
“Come on then. I’ll deal with the professor.”
“Mr. Westin, Ms. Lockhardt, so nice of you to join us today,” our professor said, and my cheeks heated as I dropped my head and slid into my seat, knowing all eyes were on us.
Chase dropped his things and walked up to the professor. He whispered something that I couldn’t make out and the teacher looked at me, then back at Chase and nodded. Professor Stone slapped him on the back and pointed to his seat.
I knew from the syllabus that being late to Stone’s class meant an automatic ten point deduction for the day. I looked over the notes on the board and began to panic. Checking the time on my phone, I grabbed my laptop and started to get to work, panic rising inside me.
“Relax,” Chase leaned over and whispered. “He’s not going to deduct points from you today. The assignment isn’t the easiest, but it’s not that hard. I’ll show you, just follow along.”
He turned his laptop towards me and pointed out everything he was doing as he did it.
“Isn’t this cheating?” I asked.
He smiled. “No, actually, that’s why we’re partners.”
The way he said “we’re partners” warmed me all over. I looked around to distract myself from the sensation, and noticed several tables had their heads together discussing the assignment.
“Okay,” I said, relaxing.
We worked mostly in silence, side by side. It was nice and just being with him felt right. I didn’t let it freak me out, just enjoyed the moment. Photography class was much of the same. We were indoors this time, but Chase invited me to sit with him and his friends.
The professor used one of my pictures to highlight in the class. At first, I was terrified and embarrassed, until I realized he was using it as a good example of what should be done, not what shouldn’t. Pride flared within me, but it also showed on Chase’s face and brought back that warm sensation that always seemed to come when he was near.
The rest of the week was a whole lot of the same. Thursday, I didn’t see Chase and I couldn’t get out of my funk. My sisters had all taken notice of my mood, but I had blown it off as if it were nothing. I couldn’t explain what was happening to me, let alone share it with them. They’d never understand, and they certainly would never approve.
To make matters worse, Daddy called while Tessa was at her game.
�
��Hi Sweetie,” he said.
“Hi Daddy. What’s up? Tessa has a volleyball game today, remember?”
“I know. I know. Can’t I just call and check on you?”
His unexpected sweetness was off-putting. It wasn’t that my father was always mean, but he just wasn’t that nice either. He was calculating, highly opinionated, and his expectations were often exhausting. He never called without a reason.
“Your mother and I were thinking of coming for a visit. She misses you both. I’m not so sure it was a good idea to let you go so far away.”
I rolled my eyes, certain it wasn’t my mother struggling with the distance, but him.
“When were you thinking? We’re really very busy with classes, Daddy.”
“I know. I don’t want to interrupt your studies, so we were thinking over spring break. Tessa said you weren’t planning to come home, so we’ll just come to you.”
His tone left no little room for argument. I normally would have sighed, smiled pretty, and said “okay Daddy,” while changing our plans to accommodate his wishes. That was the expectation when my father made up his mind about something, but I was changing. I felt stronger and less intimidated by him.
“That’s probably not a good idea,” I told him, biting my lip surprised by my own candidness.
“Is that so?” he asked using the condescending tone that often made my panther and I both cower in his presence. Lucky for us we weren’t in his presence, so I pushed on.
“Yes Daddy, Tessa and I are going to Cabo with the sisters for spring break. It’s already been arranged.”
There was silence on the other end and I had a rush of nausea. I had never been the daughter that questioned him. I had always subjected no matter how much I hated it. I knew my place and the expectations placed on me and I had never once let my parents down, though they always looked at me like they were waiting for me to fail them. It wasn’t in what they said exactly, it was in how they acted. I had never understood it, but had grown to resent it. I was the good girl. I didn’t give them reasons to doubt that, ever.
Confusing Hearts (Westin Pack Book 4) Page 4