I also somehow knew that Daddy was testing me. I would bet he’d already had the same conversation with Tessa and was looking for validation that what she had told him was true. It was the kind of sneaky thing he did with us.
“Well, very well then. I’ll let you go. Your mother will be greatly disappointed to hear this, but I’ll break the news carefully to her. I’ll talk to you on Sunday as usual.” He hung up without saying goodbye.
I slept restless thinking over the conversation. He was a regimented man and it was unlike him to call mid-week like that.
Friday, my world seemed to right itself again the moment I stepped into calculus. Chase was already there in the seats that had quickly become ours. He was chatting with Anita but had left the seat between them open for me. I couldn’t keep the smile off my face or the happiness from my heart.
He walked me to our next class and we just talked and laughed. I was fiddling with my phone and Chase grabbed it from me. I watched him snap a picture of himself, then type in his number before handing it back. He then offered me his. I hesitated, but finally took it and programmed my number into his phone. He frowned when I returned it without a picture and chased me the rest of the way to class trying to get one.
That sort of easy banter seemed so natural with us. It felt right and comfortable. It was no surprise we had fallen into a routine that I loved, and I was dreading the weekend. Two days where I might not see Chase seemed like a chasm too big to cross.
“Um, Chase?” I asked at the end of our last class, not wanting our time together to end.
“Yeah?”
“We’re having another party tomorrow night. I was just, um, wondering if you were going to be there.” I sucked in my bottom lip and waited for his response.
He seemed happy I asked, but there was also a sadness to him.
“Matt’s making a push for all the guys to go to Theta Saturday night. Not sure why, but I’ll probably have to at least make an appearance. And, one of my brothers is coming to visit. I’m not sure what he’ll want to do, but I’ll try to swing by. He’s mated now, so not likely going to want to hang around Theta for long.” He laughed like there was some obvious reason, but I was still new and didn’t know much about them.
“Yeah, sure, well, have a good weekend then.”
The disappointment was bad, but as I started to walk away, the crushing blow from his next words was so much worse.
“Tessa, wait. How about lunch?”
Tessa? He really did think I was my sister? The pain that realization caused was almost crippling.
“I-I can’t,” I said turning to flee.
“Tessa?” I heard Chase yell behind me, but I couldn’t turn around. The piercing pain going through my heart was too much to bear. If he wasn’t my true mate, why did it hurt so much? Tears stung my eyes and burned from the cold wind against my face as I ran across campus to the safety of my room.
Locking the door, I collapsed on my bed and sobbed. Chase calling me Tessa felt like such a betrayal. The logical part of my brain reminded me I couldn’t have him anyway, no matter what he was or wasn’t to me. The emotional side was taking over though, and I wanted to scream out in frustration.
My phoned dinged with a new text. On auto-pilot I picked it up and looked.
CHASE: I’m sorry. Whatever I did or said to upset you. I’m so sorry.
Chase
Chapter 7
My mate was hurting. I had seen it in her body language as she turned and ran from me. I felt it in my soul and somehow knew she was crying. I wracked my brain for hours replaying every second of the conversation leading up to her fleeing in tears. Nothing stood out or seemed odd. I couldn’t understand it.
I wasn’t a man used to chasing a girl. Girls had always come and gone easily for me. I had rules, they either abided or I didn’t waste my time. I didn’t date. I didn’t see the point. I always knew someday I’d meet my one true mate, so why waste time getting attached to anyone else? I had needs though, and I wasn’t always proud of it, but I had acquired a bit of a playboy image while at the ARC.
That thought was a harsh reminder that I hadn’t had sex since before the Christmas holiday. It had been almost two months in reality. That was a record for me, and yet, I couldn’t bring myself to just run out and hook up with the first girl I saw. Sure, I’d done that in the past, but I couldn’t now, not after meeting my mate.
In truth, I was little more than an easygoing nerd. I was super smart, so school always came easy to me. Actually, everything came easy. My wolf spirit helped me excel in most sports. I was strong and agile, and could have gotten a full scholarship in several different areas had I chosen athletics in college. I hadn’t; I didn’t want to be the jock in college. I played that game enough in high school, but I learned quickly that nerds didn’t get laid. So, I hid the fact that I was on a full academic scholarship. I lied about my majors to the point even my closest friends still didn’t know what I was majoring in, and I downplayed my love of video games, except with my fraternity brothers.
My natural good looks got me out of more trouble than I could remember. I didn’t have my brother Liam’s charm and I didn’t have my brother Kyle’s commanding alpha presence, but I had the dimples and was more laid back than either of them, and that brought on its own charismatic charm. I had mastered the untouchable, untamable persona that had girls fighting for their chance to try.
Since the first moment I smelled Tessa, none of that mattered. I had told her more truths about myself than I’d admitted to anyone at Archibald Reynolds. She knew I was a nerd. She didn’t seem to care. Maybe it was our bond, maybe not. I didn’t really care. I could be myself with her and I loved how she made me feel. It was becoming addictive and my mood took an instant sour turn the moment she had fled from me.
All my other rules regarding dating were null and void when it came to her. So, I didn’t hesitate when I grabbed my cell phone and texted her. Any other girl I wouldn’t dare text first. It set up too high of an expectation and gave them hope that I wanted more than a quick booty call. In fact, I waited a minimum of four hours before ever returning a girl’s text. But with Tessa, none of that mattered. The rules simply didn’t apply to her.
The fact that she was a feline should have bothered me. If I stopped to think about it, it made my head spin. My entire life I had been told I had one true mate, and if I was lucky enough to find her, then that was all that mattered. God didn’t make mistakes. How many times had my mother told me that? If God didn’t make mistakes, and Tessa was my true mate, then that was that. I was ready to accept it.
The only hesitation about us I still had was the few times when things had felt so off, like at lunch when I ran into her at Jacks. It had confused me when my wolf had tried to growl at her, but it hadn’t happened again since. I had spent quite a bit of time with Tessa that week and each moment I was with her only solidified what my heart was telling me. She was my one true mate.
I stared back at my phone. Thirty minutes had passed since I had texted her and she hadn’t responded. Impatient, I picked up the phone and dialed her number. It rang through to voicemail.
“Tessa, this is Chase. Just wanted to make sure you were okay. Please call me back.”
I didn’t care that I sounded needy. God, I had always hated women like that. If I didn’t answer the phone it was because I didn’t want to talk to them, but the thought of her not wanting to talk to me was unacceptable. It angered my wolf and made me restless.
Deciding I needed a run, I changed into shorts and a T-shirt and headed out for the forest. It was already February, but my wolf was too worked up for the cold air to affect me in any way. I was numb, emotionally and physically.
When I reached the edge of the woods, I stripped without even caring who was around to see and shifted. A shrill female laugh sounded from the trees above me.
“Chase Westin, I’m getting to see far too much of you as it is,” purred a voice that made me smile.
I looked up to see my friend Anita. She was flirty and fun, but harmless. My wolf was completely indifferent to her, and as long as she kept her paws to herself, he was okay. I suspected if she ever tried to make an advance on me, it would become a different story.
I hadn’t even been able to look at another woman without my wolf stirring in aggravation. We had our mate. The rest were irrelevant. Anita, for some reason, had landed quickly in the friend zone. My wolf responded the same to my good friend, Kaitlyn—happy to see her and tolerant, as long as she didn’t touch me.
I had growled at Kaitlyn once already this week when she had tried to hug me. It was perfectly innocent and not out of the norm, but my wolf didn’t want any other scent on us besides Tessa’s. Kaitlyn had laughed it off and teased me about it. She even suspected that Tessa was the cause, but Tessa and I hadn’t even discussed it yet, not once; it remained the big, fat, white elephant in the corner, so I wasn’t comfortable talking to Kaitlyn about it. A mating bond was too sacred to share with anyone but my mate, and my family if I had any questions or concerns.
I didn’t know how long I had been running. Deep in thought, I had lost myself to my wolf, so I wasn’t surprised when I looked up and saw the panther house just ahead. Catching the scent of our mate, my wolf veered off to the left and headed back into the woods. He sniffed the ground and gave chase, stopping abruptly at the base of tree, and howled into the sky.
Looking up, I spotted a beautiful, sleek black panther lounging on a thick tree limb above me. I knew it was Tessa, but she wouldn’t come down. My wolf scratched at the ground and whined. Rolling those stunning violet eyes, she jumped down, landing silently beside me.
My wolf leapt around her in excitement, wagging his tail. Our combined emotions made me feel like a kid given free rein in a toy store at Christmas. He strutted before our mate who looked unimpressed, before inching up on her. Before I could stop him, he was rubbing up against her, ensuring his scent covered her.
I could still feel confusing emotions pouring off her, but the look of shock in her wide eyes when her panther began to purr contentedly told me she was at odds with her animal spirit, too. I tried to stop my wolf from prancing excitedly before her at the sound, but he wouldn’t listen. I rolled my eyes, knowing what an idiot we must look like. I felt out of control, which was rare. My wolf and I had never really struggled to find peace. He had an aggressive side I had tamed early on, but this was entirely different.
I wanted to shift back to human form and talk to her, but then I remembered Anita teasing me about my lack of decency. Panthers were much more private animals. They didn’t run in packs and Tessa probably wasn’t used to seeing naked men.
My wolf growled, and she jumped. I looked around for the threat, before realizing it was the thought of her with any other naked man, or any other man period, that had set him off. He nudged her with his snout back towards the tree and barked for her to climb it. I could feel aggressive protective instincts overwhelming me as my wolf set up camp beneath the tree, growling at anything that dared to come near our mate. Even a poor unsuspecting grasshopper felt his wrath.
It wasn’t long before I heard movement high in the tree above, but my wolf didn’t have any aggression toward it, he just whined, continuing to sniff the air and paw at the ground. Tessa jumped down from the tree, fully clothed and in human form.
She sat down next to us and hesitantly held out a hand like one would when meeting a stray dog. My wolf sniffed it, and then proceeded to lick it. I rolled my eyes in apology as he danced around like an idiot once again, before breaking into her personal space and nuzzling up to her. When he licked her cheek in a sloppy kiss, she pushed us away, laughing.
“Okay, okay, enough already,” she said and to my surprise my wolf instantly calmed. I considered shifting so we could talk, but it was like she had read my mind, which I knew was impossible. It was far too soon for that. “Don’t shift, okay? I’m not ready to talk about it. I’m okay though.” She got up and started to walk away, then stopped. “Thanks for the text and call. It’s just—” She shook her head like she was deciding how much more to say. “It doesn’t matter,” she finally said sadly. “I’ll see you on Monday.”
My wolf lay down on the ground before her and whimpered. As she walked away we followed at a distance until she safely arrived back at her house. I knew there was no way in hell I could wait till Monday to see her again. The more time I spent with her, the more overwhelming the need to be with her had become.
I ran full speed back to my clothes, shifted and changed before walking back to my dorm. My door was cracked open. I couldn’t believe I would have left it that way. I slowly entered, my hair standing up and my wolf on alarm.
“Loser!” my brother, Liam, yelled.
I opened the door, fully surprised to see Patrick O’Connell sitting on my gaming chair next to him in the middle of what sounded like an intense round of Call of Duty.
Patrick was my sister Elise’s mate. He was also one of our pack Betas, but to me, he was another brother I was blessed to have. It was good to see them both. They rose and hugged me.
“I hear you may have found your mate,” Patrick said in his thick Irish accent. Despite a year in the States, it hadn’t changed any.
I punched Liam in the arm. “I thought you weren’t going to tell anyone.”
Liam shrugged. “I wanted company on the drive up and it was the easiest way to convince him to tag along.”
“I can’t believe E let you off the leash long enough to make the trip,” I ribbed Patrick, all in good humor.
He laughed, but didn’t even bother denying it. “Liam says you aren’t quite sure she’s your mate,” he challenged.
“Oh, I’m sure,” I insisted.
“But when we spoke earlier this week you said . . .”
“I know what I said. And that was weird, but I’ve spent more time with her this week. Our animals even got to know each other today, and I don’t know how it’s possible, but I’m telling you, she’s the one.” It felt good to confess it to them.
“Liam says she’s not a wolf?”
I shook my head. “No, why?” I could feel myself getting defensive.
“What is she then?” he asked with no judgement in his voice.
“She’s a gorgeous black panther,” I said proudly. “I know it doesn’t make sense, and yet, it just feels right. I’m telling you, she’s the one.”
My brothers shared a look that I recognized as not good at all.
“You’re certain she’s a black panther? Not a really dark jaguar?” Patrick asked.
“According to my buddy Matt, there’s not really any difference there, but yeah, she’s definitely considered panther. She’s actually a panther princess,” I said proudly. No way would I ever be embarrassed about my mate.
They shared that look again.
“She’s a Lockhardt then?” Patrick asked. “Truly, a fecking Lockhardt?”
I gulped, not liking his tone and nodded, wondering what I had missed. “Tessa Lockhardt,” I confessed.
“King Lockhardt will never allow it, Chase. He believes in absolute purity. I’m shocked the girl would even give you a second look, true mate or not. I’m sorry. He’s even more ruthless than my own father,” Patrick said.
Patrick’s dad was Alpha of the Irish Clan. He had sent Patrick to Westin Pack during the mating challenges to battle my brother Kyle for his mate Kelsey and take over as Alpha of Westin. The plan had gone awry when Patrick had smelled my sister, Elise, his true mate. He had reneged on the challenge and been disowned by his own father. I had thought it was an exaggeration, until Patrick and Elise’s mating challenges began and his father had sent Patrick’s own brother to challenge him for my sister. It was all kinds of screwed up.
In the end, things hadn’t gone that far. Since we were at war with the Bulgarian Pack and the Irish Clan had sided with them, my brother Kyle, as Alpha of Westin, had stepped in and rejected the challenge, citing some code of war. I co
uldn’t even comprehend the thought of battling one of my own brothers for my mate. Disgusting!
I didn’t like what Patrick was saying, but it wasn’t the first time I had heard as much. Maybe not quite as candidly, but I was aware of her father and his stance on pure bloods.
“I can’t help who my mate is,” I said defensively. “And I won’t give up on us just because of her father. If she won’t accept me, that’s one thing, but that’s going to have to be her decision alone to make.”
They both nodded. They were mated, so they had to understand I’d do anything for this girl. Anything.
“What’s going on around this place this weekend?” Liam asked, changing the subject.
I shrugged. “Matt is rallying for a Theta party tomorrow night. Panthers are also having one. Not sure what’s going on tonight.”
In truth, I had no desire to go to a Theta party. The girls there represented all sorts of shifters. They had no exclusivity whatsoever. I had slept with nearly all of them over the course of my two and a half years at the ARC. In hindsight, knowing my mate, the mere thought of going near that place made me want to puke.
Matt peeked his head into my room without knocking.
“Liam? What the hell are you doing here? I thought you were all mated with a family now.”
Liam beamed proudly. “I am.”
He proceeded to pull out his phone and show off pictures of his mate, Maddie, and her son, Oscar, whom Liam had officially adopted. He went on to tell Matt that they were expecting a second child. I was happy for them, but I could tell Matt was as far removed from that as possible, and it made me laugh.
Wolves were pack animals and much more family-oriented than many other species. Being a jag, Matt just couldn’t comprehend it all. Plus, we were in college and he wasn’t thinking about settling down anytime soon.
I had a momentary panic when they began to discuss plans for the night, and Patrick asked about the panthers. I hadn’t warned them that no one knew about me and Tessa yet. Thankfully, he must have seen my fear and didn’t press.
Confusing Hearts (Westin Pack Book 4) Page 5