Confusing Hearts (Westin Pack Book 4)

by Julie Trettel

  CHASE: Sweet dreams, beautiful

  I didn’t expect her to answer, but my phone dinged almost immediately.

  JENNA: Can’t sleep

  CHASE: Me neither

  CHASE: You actually texted me back

  JENNA: This is crazy

  CHASE: life’s crazy

  On the next ding of an incoming text Liam groaned. A pillow hit me hard across the head.

  “Go to sleep or at least silence that thing,” Liam complained.

  I tossed the pillow back to him. Nothing was going to dampen my mood. The most beautiful woman in the world was my mate and she was texting me back. I was on cloud nine. I silenced my phone and looked back at the screen.

  “I’m getting too old for this shit,” Liam grumbled as he rolled over, away from the light my phone was shining. I turned down the brightness as much as I could, but it still lit up the room.

  JENNA: No one else can know. Promise me.

  CHASE: I promise.

  I couldn’t help the stab of disappointment in her insistence to keep us a secret, but I did understand it. My family might be surprised, curious, even concerned, but they would support us no matter what. I was confident in their love and unconditional acceptance. It saddened me that Jenna didn’t have that in her life, but she would from now on, because I would give her that.

  JENNA: Thank you.

  CHASE: Can I see you tomorrow?

  There wasn’t a reply for a long time and my mind started conscripting all sorts of negativity. We were doing so well, and then she just went blank? I cursed myself for feeling so needy, but dammit, it was one simple question. When I couldn’t take it any longer, I texted her again in the most pathetic way that always ensured I would never respond again when a girl did it to me.

  CHASE: Jenna?

  JENNA: Sorry, Tessa came in to say good night. She’s drunk.

  I waited to see if she would answer my question. It felt like another small eternity passed, before it dinged again.

  JENNA: Maybe on tomorrow. If I can get away. But aren’t your brothers still here?

  CHASE: Yeah, we’re going hiking tomorrow. Join us?

  I knew I’d get some grief for bringing her along, but I was desperate to spend more time with her, even with them in tow.

  JENNA: Probably can’t. Let you know in the morning. What time and how long?

  CHASE: 7am, back by lunch.

  JENNA: Seriously?

  CHASE: yes

  JENNA: um, raincheck?

  I laughed out loud.

  CHASE: Not a morning person?

  JENNA: It’s 3am and I’m wide awake, what do you think?

  CHASE: LOL Is that a cat thing?

  JENNA: It’s a Jenna thing.

  JENNA: but yes, panthers tend to be more nocturnal

  CHASE: Good to know

  CHASE: Picnic lunch afterwards?

  JENNA: I can probably swing that

  CHASE: I’ll send coordinates

  JENNA: Very 007

  CHASE: Isn’t that the plan?

  JENNA: LOL

  CHASE: Get some sleep, princess

  JENNA: You too

  I sighed and closed my eyes, remembering what it felt like to kiss her. I drifted off to sweet dreams of my beautiful mate.

  Morning came too soon. My alarm didn’t go off because I silenced my phone, but Patrick woke me up. I grumbled but jumped in the shower and felt a little more human afterwards. The drive to the trail was short, and a light layer of fresh snow covered the ground.

  It hadn’t been snowing when we got back to my dorm. It must have started in the wee hours of morning. The snow had already stopped, but it was beautiful, and I loved the smell of the crisp, clean air it brought with it.

  We debated on human or animal forms, finally settling on our original plan to hike in our skin. We all agreed if it got too cold we’d shift for the run back.

  Patrick had never been up to the ARC, so it was all new to him. He was quiet, observant as he took in the unforgettable mountain views. I had expected them to give me a hard time about last night, but each of us seemed content to be lost in our own thoughts as we hiked up the mountain to the most beautiful overlook imaginable.

  Sitting there in reflection with my brothers I felt fully at peace.

  “Thanks for coming this weekend,” I told them.

  “We’d probably have had to commit you by the end of the semester if Patrick hadn’t been observant enough to sort out the twin thing.”

  Patrick laughed. “Yeah, you must have had tunnel vision not to have noticed, but I get it. I’m glad it’s all sorted now, though I still worry. She’s a panther, Chase.”

  “Does that bother you guys?” I asked earnestly. “That she’s not a wolf, I mean.”

  Patrick shook his head. “I don’t care what she is or isn’t, it’s more of who she is. I just don’t want to see you get hurt. You’ve found your mate. I know how life changing that is, but her father . . . I just hope it works out for you.”

  “But you don’t think it will?”

  “It definitely isn’t in your favor,” he said.

  I growled, and he put his hands up in surrender.

  “He’s only keeping it real, Chase,” Liam said in Patrick’s defense. “We aren’t saying we don’t support you. Of course we support you. If she’s your true mate, then we want that for you, more than anything.”

  “If? If? I told you she is my mate. Why would you question me on that?”

  “She’s a cat, Chase. It’s just hard to take in. And it’s not just that. Patrick’s right, she’s a panther—a royal panther even. It’s not going to be easy for you, and we’re worried about you.”

  “Well, don’t be. I’m a grown man. I don’t need you guys worrying about me. I just need you to support me!”

  They looked at each other and both nodded.

  “We’ll always support you, Chase,” Patrick assured me.

  “We’ve got your back, no matter what,” Liam added.

  I knew they wouldn’t stop worrying, but I needed to hear they were on my side, even if I had basically forced them to say it. I had enough to deal with worrying about her family without stressing over mine too.

  We chatted about lighter things on the walk back to the car. They were both starving when we got back but I had to apologize and tell them I had plans for lunch.

  “Just, be careful,” Liam asked.

  “I will.”

  I dropped them off then swung by the grocery store to pick up what I needed. The snow was still blanketing the ground and judging by the thick coat Jenna had worn the night before, I assumed panthers weren’t as warm as wolves.

  As a full member of Westin Pack, money was of no issue to me. My family had started the Westin Foundation several generations back and it not only funded our pack but gave each of us a sizable monthly income. I was expected to work in the Foundation in some capacity after graduation. Business had been pressed upon me at a young age, but graphic design was where my passion lay. I had dreams of updating our website and redefining the look of the Westin Foundation. I hadn’t discussed that with Liam yet. As the current CEO, it would ultimately be his decision. I wanted to prepare a thorough portfolio and give it to him closer to graduation time.

  I picked up the food, then swung by the hardware store to buy a small, portable propane heater that I hoped would keep Jenna comfortable outdoors.

  Hiking to the spot I knew well, overlooking the lake, was easy, even with the added weight of my items. When I arrived, I checked the exact coordinates and texted them to Jenna. I hoped she could find it okay.

  JENNA: Now?

  CHASE: I’m waiting.

  JENNA: On my way

  While waiting, I first set up the heater, and snow around me began to quickly melt away. I laid down a tarp to keep the wet ground from soaking through and covered it with a thick plush blanket. I had another one to cover Jenna if she needed it.

  Next, I pulled the food out of the basket. I ha
d kept it simple; I wasn’t exactly gourmet, more meat and potatoes, and I really didn’t know what panthers preferred to eat. I set around trays of sandwiches, hummus and chips, and chocolate-covered strawberries.

  Checking the champagne in the cooler bag, I realized it was only cool, so I took it out and wedged it down into the snow, along with two glasses. I stepped back to examine my work and was pleased with the effect. I had wanted to buy her flowers, but didn’t want her to have to explain them to her sisters, so this would have to do.

  When I heard movement in the trees, I took a deep breath, scenting the air around me. Mate, a small voice in my head confirmed.

  I turned just as Jenna reached the clearing. She stopped short and gasped. I could hear her heartbeat quicken as she looked around, taking in the views and my handiwork.

  “When you said a picnic, I didn’t think you really meant it. You really did all of this?” I nodded. “This is incredible,” she whispered.

  She squealed as she hugged me and sat down to check out the treats. My wolf and I were more peaceful than I could ever remember. We had pleased our mate and the high it gave me was indescribable.

  “I wasn’t sure what you like to eat, but I hope there’s something here that will work. I’ll do better next time.”

  “Better? Chase, there’s a heater! We’re literally having a picnic in the snow and not freezing to death.”

  I grinned. “I noticed you like thick, warm coats. I assumed you don’t handle the cold as well as my kind.”

  She considered it. “I have noticed you’re prone to T-shirts, or at most a sweatshirt. That’s really not fair. Super smelling, super hearing, and a built-in heater?”

  She was teasing, and I loved it. It was a new side to my mate I had only seen glimpses of.

  “Well, I don’t see as well in the dark, and I can’t climb trees,” I offered.

  She laughed as she grabbed a chip and dipped it in the hummus. She sighed contentedly as she ate.

  “Do you have enormous appetites too?”

  “Yes. Yes we do. Why?”

  “Because there’s like a dozen sandwiches here.” She laughed at the massive pile I had stacked on the tray.

  “There’s more in the basket, and it’s not because I plan to eat them all, though.” I laughed. “Okay, I will actually eat them all, but it was because I had no clue what you liked, so I just grabbed one of everything they had, and two of my favorites, just in case you chose those.”

  I flashed my classic boyish grin and saw her sigh as she stared at my dimples. I had never before been so happy to have those stupid birth defects.

  “Meat,” she blurted out. “I eat a lot of meat. I like veggies and other foods more than most of my kind though, so really there isn’t much I won’t eat.”

  “Well, we definitely have that in common then.” I didn’t always know why I told her the things that seemed to fall out of my mouth, but once again I found myself oversharing. “My sister, Elise, is borderline vegetarian. I mean she does eat meat, she just really loves vegetables, and I don’t know if your kind ever eats raw, but wolves do sometimes. Not E. She throws up nearly every time. She throws up even if she sees another wolf eating raw. Lily, on the other hand, will eat anything and everything in sight. She’s on the petite side, but dang—don’t ever challenge her to an eating contest. She out eats me and my brothers.”

  “She’s another sister?” Jenna asked, sounding genuinely interested.

  “Yeah. I’m the baby. There are five of us. Kyle and Elise, and then Liam and Lily are twins. Then me. What about you?”

  “Just me and Tessa,” she said. “We may be identical, but we couldn’t be any more different. She’s athletic, the star volleyball player currently. I’m sure you’ve heard all about her.” I watched her flinch. “You’re probably going to be very disappointed to hear I don’t have an athletic bone in my body. Dance was the closest thing I’ve ever been good at when it comes to sports.”

  I brushed her hair back, letting my hand run through it and marveling at how silky it felt. “Why would I be disappointed by that?” I asked almost absentmindedly.

  She shrugged. “Well, you thought I was Tessa, which means you had to have heard all about her. She tends to be a big deal on campus and loves the spotlight. Popular and fun. Everyone loves Tessa. But that’s not me.”

  I looked at her like she was crazy. Did she really think I cared about any of that? “I had a difficult time reconciling the image of Tessa Lockhardt with the Tessa I knew.” I ran a hand through my thick hair. “Now we know why. It was never Tessa I was interested in and I don’t care about any of that.”

  “Oh really? Because Anita friended a couple of Thetas, and I have to admit I’m having a hard time reconciling the Chase Westin everyone talks about, with the you I know.”

  “Thetas?” I groaned, covering my face with my arm and laying back on the blanket. It was inevitable my reputation would catch up to me, but I was honestly embarrassed that Jenna had heard about it.

  “Let’s see,” she started. “The rules of Chase. Number one: no dating. Period.” She looked around. “I’m afraid this looks suspiciously like a date. Number two: one night stands are one night stands. No repeat sex within the same month.” She cut her eyes at me and reveled in the fact that I was embarrassed. “Number three: no cuddling, no crying, and absolutely no sleepovers.”

  I pulled her down next to me and tucked her into my side so that her head rested on my shoulder.

  “Chase Westin, I do declare, this feels a lot like cuddling. Are you breaking rule number three?” she asked in her best Southern belle interpretation.

  I kissed the top of her head in response, ready to silence her with a real kiss, but she pulled back and continued. “Number four: Chase will not initiate texts or phone calls, and something about a minimum four-hour delay in all text responses, and then some crazy time limits on returned calls, too. Yeah, you’ve broken that rule a lot already. Finally, rule number five: no attachments. Chase Westin will not be tamed, so don’t bother trying, and if you do, you’re culled from the list forever. What is up with that one?”

  I laughed, then rolled to my side to look at her seriously. “Those rules were all in place for you.”

  “What? That’s insane. How is it, that how often you screw someone . . .”—her face scrunched up and she had to take a deep breath. I could sense she didn’t like thinking about me with other women and it made me crazy happy to see her jealousy—“how is that for me?” she finally blurted out.

  I kissed her, keeping it light despite the desperate need I felt to mark my mate.

  “All those rules ensured no attachments. I didn’t date or have recurring . . . relationships”—I decided that was a better word to use—"with anyone, because I knew one day I’d find you—my one true mate. There was no reason to ever get emotionally attached to anyone when I was just biding my time waiting for you to come into my life.”

  Jenna

  Chapter 10

  Chase spoke so openly and honestly with me. I wasn’t used to anyone talking to me like that. I was a princess—even my closest friends didn’t dare speak so candidly. Yet, I found myself doing the same with him. I had learned at an early age to keep things to myself. Even my twin sister couldn’t be trusted with my inner thoughts, but things just had a way of popping out of my mouth before my brain confirmed them, when it came to Chase Westin.

  “I don’t even know what to say to that,” I told him, shaking my head. “On the one hand, that’s actually very sweet and romantic even, but on the other, you’ve slept with a lot of women. I mean a lot, if even half the rumors are true.”

  I liked that he had the decency to blush. Okay, so he wouldn’t admit it was a blush, but color definitely brightened his cheeks and his body stiffened next to me.

  “I’m sorry,” he said quietly.

  Surprised by his apology, I felt bad for making him feel guilty. I had been more curious if the rumors were true than concerned that they might
be.

  “You don’t need to apologize,” I assured him, regretting ever having brought it up at all.

  His warm hand was back on my cheek, forcing me to look at him.

  “If I had known I’d feel like this, I’d never have even looked at another woman. I’m sorry.”

  My heart fluttered wildly. I didn’t wait for him this time. I closed the gap between us and pressed my lips against his. I didn’t feel I had the right to ask him not to see other people, but I knew it would rip me to pieces if he did.

  As if sensing the sadness that came with that thought, he pulled back and stared into my eyes.

  “You don’t have to worry about all that. There can never be another for me now that I’ve found you.”

  His words made my heart soar, but I had to keep enough restraint to face reality.

  “I can’t see how this will ever work, Chase.”

  “One day at a time, beautiful. That’s all I’m asking for. One more day.”

  I giggled. “And you’ll ask for one more day again tomorrow?”

  He flashed me his dimples in a classic Chase grin. “That is what one day at a time means.”

  We lay there talking longer than I had meant to stay.

  “Shoot,” I said, looking at the time on my phone and realizing I’d been gone for over four hours. “They’ll send out a search party soon if they haven’t already. It’s nearly five, Chase.”

  He sat up and shrugged, noticing the champagne still wedged in the snow.

  “I forgot the champagne,” he said regretfully.

  “Save it for next time.”

  He grinned and pulled me into his lap. “So, you’re saying there will be a next time?”

  My breath hitched from his smoldering look, and my mouth went dry as I nodded. I recognized his movements and knew I was about to be kissed. It didn’t surprise me this time, but the moment our lips met, a new kind of energy jolted us. It was stronger than a static shock, but pleasant and warmed me all over. God, that boy could kiss.

  I was lightheaded when he finally ended it. It all felt so dream-like, and I didn’t want to leave the peaceful cocoon we had formed in the middle of the snow overlooking the beautiful lake and the mountains beyond. The day had been more perfect than any fantasy I had ever read or dreamed. Going back to reality wasn’t going to be easy.