Confusing Hearts (Westin Pack Book 4)

by Julie Trettel

  “Matt Williams,” she said proudly.

  “They were still making out when he dropped her off,” Louisa pointed out.

  “What does this mean now?” Chloe pouted, asking Ayanna.

  “I guess Anita wins the challenge.”

  I could see Ayanna was shocked. Her younger sister had bested her in her own game. I couldn’t even fathom what would come next because of it.

  “Come on ladies, it’s late and it’s been a crazy night. I think everyone needs to get some sleep and we’ll talk about this tomorrow.”

  As the girls broke up and headed off to their respective rooms, Tessa followed me to mine. She sat at my desk chair and stared at me.

  “You really made it to second base with Chase?” she finally asked, breaking the silence.

  I found I couldn’t lie to her and nodded.

  “How, um, how was he?”

  “I can’t even describe it, Tess. He was incredible.” I wanted so badly to tell her everything, but she had hurt me in the past and I couldn’t fully trust her. It saddened me. She was my twin. There shouldn’t be anything I couldn’t share with her.

  “Just be careful. I’m worried about you.”

  “What?” I asked, confused. Why would Tessa worry about me? “What are you talking about? There’s nothing to worry about.”

  “The other girls, they’ve been boy crazy forever. They fall in and out love like it’s nothing. But you? Jenna, I know you. Tonight was a big deal, and I just don’t want to see you really fall for him only to have your heart broken. You can never truly be together. This is all just supposed to be fun. Please don’t lose sight of that.”

  It had been a long time since Tessa and I had a sister moment of any kind. She had been resentful of my change in colleges, even more so when Daddy forced her and the others to follow me. When she wrapped her arms around me, it took every ounce of willpower not to hold on and cry at the truth in her words.

  “I’ll be careful,” I promised with as much conviction as I could muster.

  When she left the room, I found solace in my pillow and cried myself to sleep. Chase was mine. My heart already belonged to him and it wasn’t just the bond. I couldn’t believe that. It was him, Chase Westin, so confident and cocky on the outside, but a closet nerd, gamer, and romantic, fiercely loyal to those he cared about. He had already stolen my heart. I loved him, but I also knew I could never have him, not in the way I so desperately wanted.

  The next morning felt like a hangover. A Chase hangover, I thought.

  I got up and checked myself in the mirror. I had mascara streaks down my face from where I had forgotten to wash my face. I was a hot mess. Heading straight for the shower, I was again grateful I didn’t have to share a bathroom.

  Most of the rooms had a conjoined shower, two rooms shared one. The original sorority that built the place had two people per room with four people that would share a bathroom. We didn’t have enough members in our elite group for that, so everyone got their own room. Two had private baths. As princesses, those were assigned to me and Tessa. I didn’t always appreciate the perks of being a princess. They set me apart from the others, an outsider, but in this case, I was eternally grateful.

  Feeling almost human again—well, as human as a shifter can feel—after my shower and fresh clothes, I grabbed my phone to check the time. Stunned, I saw it was already after one o’clock. I checked my texts but hadn’t missed anything.

  I messaged Chase.

  JENNA: Slept in. Grabbing some lunch. Still on for 2?

  Within seconds my phone dinged.

  CHASE: What’s for lunch?

  I smiled to myself.

  JENNA: grabbing something at the café.

  CHASE: see you in 5?

  JENNA: ok.

  My heart raced with anticipation. I hadn’t planned on seeing him outside of the library. Speeding up departure, I practically plowed over Anita on my way out of the door.

  “Oh, hey,” I said in surprise.

  “Where are you off to in such a hurry?”

  “Study group at two and I need to grab some lunch first.”

  “Oh, what study group?”

  “Calculus,” I said, without even thinking she was in the class, too.

  She perked up immediately. “I’m really struggling with a couple of the questions on the practice test he gave us. Can I tag along?”

  There was no way I could say no. “Sure.”

  We headed over to the café. Chase was already there waiting, and Matt Williams was with him. I looked at him curiously. Anita squealed happily when she saw him. Anita hugged him and he kissed her right there in front of everyone as they went off to find food.

  “Sorry,” Chase said. “I didn’t know Matt was struggling with calculus when he asked my plans for the day. I told him I had a calculus study group at the library, so he invited himself along.”

  I threw my head back and laughed. “Anita’s crashing, too. Same exact scenario.”

  He grinned. “Guess we suck at sneaking around.”

  “Guess so.”

  “Come on, let’s grab some lunch at least. I’m starving. And my treat, no arguments.”

  I didn’t want him wasting his money on me. I knew how tight budgets were for college students. Money had never been an issue for me; my father was wealthy and I was raised with every advantage, but I didn’t want to bruise his pride by saying no. I vowed to discuss it with him later.

  I picked up a tuna sandwich, some chips, and grabbed a water. Chase looked at my meager lunch and added a fruit bowl and side salad to it.

  “You expect me to eat all of this?” I asked him, even knowing I could polish that off and then some. I was starving.

  “Yes, I do,” he said definitively, and that was when I noticed the heaping pile of food he had on his own tray.

  I shook my head. “Wolves.”

  He grinned and pulled out a black Amex card to pay. It was crystal clear I didn’t know as much about Chase Westin as I thought.

  The girl at the register glared at me behind his back.

  “Thanks, Kelly,” he called over his shoulder.

  I sped up to keep up with him.

  “You totally slept with her,” I accused before I could stop myself.

  He turned to look at me in surprise. “Uh, why would you say that? And it was a long time ago.”

  I laughed. “She’s clearly not over it, though, from the glares she was giving me.”

  He cringed. “She was one of the clingy ones. Nice girl, but definitely not the girl for me.”

  The smoldering look he gave me made me blush.

  We joined Anita and Matt at the table. I immediately noticed Matt’s plate was piled high, too, while Anita had a small chef salad. Her eyes widened at the amount of food on my tray.

  We were large cats, so our appetites probably rivaled the boys on most days; however, as ladies we did not show that to the opposite sex, especially guys we liked. I don’t know if it was the human television influence that caused us to hide it, or what, but all the girls did. Those that dated would practically starve themselves, then come home and ravish an entire turkey.

  I happily ate my lunch, grateful for the bit of extra food, but still hungry when I was done. I hadn’t eaten breakfast, which made it worse.

  I’m not sure how Chase knew, but as we talked, he casually dropped a slice of pizza on my tray. I tried to ignore it, but the longer we sat there the more it taunted me. After I ate that, he shared half his fries, and then a full slice of cheesecake. I sighed contentedly as I polished off the last bite. When I looked up, Matt hadn’t seemed to notice, but Anita stared in envy at my now empty plate.

  On the walk to the library, Anita held back and pulled me with her. The guys talked as they walked ahead.

  “I can’t believe you ate all that food in front of them,” she scolded.

  “I was starving. I slept through breakfast.”

  “You put way more food on your tray than you normally eat
in public,” she pointed out.

  “I didn’t, Chase added some of it,” I confessed.

  “And then he just kept giving you his, too?”

  I shrugged. “Wolves have like super hearing or something, you know. He probably heard my stomach still grumbling, and for sure they’re listening in on this conversation,” I pointed out realistically.

  Chase laughed, confirming my suspicions.

  “If you were hungry, why didn’t you just eat?” Matt asked Anita as the guys waited for us to catch up. “I may not put away quite as much as a wolf, but Chase knows we eat almost as much as they do. I may not be black, but still the same species, remember?”

  “Why do you guys do that?” Chase asked.

  “Do what?” Anita asked innocently.

  “Pretend like you don’t actually eat. Buy a small salad and swear it’s enough. That’s such a human thing to do. We’re animals, we eat, and our metabolisms require much more food than an average human, so why bother hiding it?”

  Anita and I both shrugged. “It’s a girl thing, you wouldn’t understand,” she finally said.

  The guys shook their heads, but dropped it. We reached the library and settled into a study room on one of the upper floors.

  “Who else are we expecting?” Anita asked.

  “Huh?” I asked.

  “You said it was a study group. How many more are we expecting?”

  My eyes flashed to Chase’s for help.

  “The other two texted earlier and couldn’t make it, so it’s just us,” he lied without even flinching.

  “Oh, well, I guess it’s a good thing I tagged along, or you’d be stuck here with just these two,” Anita said.

  “Good thing,” I agreed.

  We opened our books and got down to work. Chase took the lead and walked through several problems, answering all our questions.

  “Wait up, so you’re like some kind of math whiz?” Anita asked.

  Matt laughed. “Shh, it’s his biggest secret. He’s a closet genius.”

  I was pretty certain I was his biggest secret, but I’m sure that was a close second.

  Chase shrugged. “No one will believe you if you try and tell anyone.”

  She looked confused. I was, too, if I were being honest.

  “Why would you care if people knew you were smart?” Anita asked.

  “Not a match with his reputation around campus. Nerds don’t get laid,” Matt said.

  I had to bite back a hiss. My panther did not like hearing about Chase’s reputation with the ladies. Neither did I.

  I was still stewing about it an hour later when we took a break. Matt and Anita disappeared quickly, leaving Chase and me alone in the room.

  “Hey, are you okay?” Chase asked me.

  I nodded and pretended to study the question we had just gone over. I hated feeling jealous of the girls he’d been with before me. I knew it wasn’t rational, but that didn’t stop the hurt and disappointment every time it was mentioned.

  He reached over and took my pencil, and I looked up at him. He relaxed and smiled. “Better.”

  “Give me back my pencil, Chase,” I said sternly. “I’m still trying to work out the last of this problem.”

  His smile faltered and I saw uncertainty for the first time. Chase was always larger than life and so sure of himself, always in control. Worry consumed me. What was wrong? I couldn’t stop my hand from reaching out to him. I stroked his arm reassuringly.

  “Are you okay?” I asked him.

  He shrugged. “You feel . . . off today. I don’t know how to describe it.” He toyed with the ends of my hair. “Are we okay, Jenna? Did I do or say something to upset you?”

  My heart cracked a little more. “No, no, I’m fine,” I rambled. “It’s stupid, but yeah, we’re fine. It’s not your concern, I promise.”

  He stared deep into my eyes. “You’re my mate—everything that concerns you is my problem, too.”

  I smiled and let go of my frustration. “Sometimes, I just get a little jealous. I can’t even seem to help it, no matter how stupid it is. My panther”—I blushed furiously at my admittance—"doesn’t like seeing you with other females, or talking to other females, or mentioning anything between you and other females even before we came into the picture. I’m sorry. I’m trying to keep it in check.”

  “Matt,” he cursed under his breath.

  I laughed. “It’s not his fault. It really is me.”

  “Listen to me, beautiful. While I can say a million times a day that you have nothing to be jealous of, I am one hundred percent yours, I do get it.” His cocky grin was back. “I won’t lie, I love knowing you’re jealous.”

  I smacked him. “Chase,” I scolded.

  He laughed. “I’m serious. It lets me know you really do care. I feel so damn much it’s overwhelming at times. I struggle even having Matt in the same room with you, and he’s one of my best friends.”

  He was so open and honest. I made a point to remember that in the future and talk to him instead of letting things fester. I wasn’t used to having someone I could trust with all my thoughts, or my heart.

  My heart pounded as he leaned in and kissed me, deepening it quickly. My breath hitched and I pulled back, looking around. We were alone in the room, but one wall was entirely open to the main library.

  “People will see. We can’t,” I reminded him.

  When his dimples flashed at me, I knew he was either up to no good, or knew something I didn’t know. In this case, I suppose it turned out to be a little of both.

  “Never noticed how they’re mirrored on the other side? We can see out, but others can’t see in. It’s why I reserved this particular level for us.”

  He wrapped one arm around my waist and the other under my legs and lifted me easily out of my chair and settled me into his lap. I yelped in surprise.

  “Matt and Anita could still return at any time,” I reminded him.

  “Then stop talking and let me kiss you before they do.”

  I liked his logic and we were soon lost in our own world. My chest was heaving and my body was tingling all over when he again surprised me, by dumping me back into my chair and walking to the other side of the table.

  Hurt and confused, I looked at him in disbelief, but he just winked and blew me a kiss. He started talking aloud and pointing out the problem I had been focusing on earlier, seconds before the door opened and Matt and Anita returned.

  I looked at him in shock, my cheeks warming, and he just smiled back and casually pointed to his ears. I burst out laughing.

  “What’s so funny?” Anita asked.

  “Um, uh, I finally understand what Chase was trying to say.” It wasn’t even a real lie. I may have been insinuating to her it was regarding our practice quiz question, but he got it.

  He high fived me and said, “That’s my girl.”

  I glared at him, warning he was taking it too far, but he turned to the white board behind him and scribbled down the last of the problems. To my surprise, I really did get it. The part I had been struggling with somehow clicked right at that moment.

  When I was no longer flustered from Chase’s complete one-eighty on me, I tuned in to my friend. Her cheeks were flushed and her hair was slightly askew. I suspected they’d been making out in the stacks. As if confirming my suspicions, they couldn’t stop making eyes at each other, and barely a half hour passed before they both made excuses to leave.

  They left separately, but the moment the door closed behind Matt, Chase grabbed my hand and pulled me over to the window. We pressed our cheeks against the cool glass and watched. Sure enough, Anita was waiting for him at the first stack of books.

  I laughed. “Do you think we suck that badly trying to sneak around? I mean, they were so obvious.”

  He shrugged. “We haven’t put that much effort into hiding it yet.”

  Horrified, I realized he was right. “That stupid challenge definitely had helped with that somewhat. Now that it’s over, we’
re going to have to be extra careful. If any of my sisters found out, they’d tell Daddy, and then he’d have me on a plane out of here in thirty minutes flat.”

  Sadly, I wasn’t exaggerating. I could feel waves of anger rolling off Chase. I knew if it came to that, he wouldn’t let me go without a fight. I had not yet allowed myself to consider that situation. When it came down to it, would I follow my family, or do anything it took to stay with my mate?

  “What do you mean the challenge is over? Who? When? It sure as hell wasn’t me.”

  I tried to hide back the smirk. “Matt and Anita, at your house Saturday night.”

  “Seriously? I mean I knew they disappeared, but you said home plate and nothing less.”

  “Yup, and she had to show proof too, or it didn’t count. I think the other girls are really disappointed, and considering letting it continue anyway. The ones who drew your name are all pissed at me for hogging you. I’m not sure they’re ready to give up,” I hissed angrily, turning away from him so he wouldn’t see how much it bothered me.

  He wrapped his arms around me and pressed his lips to my neck, trailing light kisses down and across my shoulder.

  “They can try. It won’t work. Wait, how exactly does one prove something like that anyway?” he asked curiously.

  I scrunched up my nose. “She brought back the used condom.”

  “Damn. You girls are ruthless. That’s disgusting.”

  Chase

  Chapter 13

  Jenna and I fell into an easy routine, but it was never enough. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday we had classes together, all morning, and then lunch together afterwards. Friends almost always joined us.

  On Tuesdays and Thursdays, we met in the library for study time. The problem was, as others heard of our study groups, more and more people began joining us until we were actually studying. I felt terrible about it too. The initial guise was that Jenna was tutoring me in calculus: only Matt and Anita knew the truth about that, and as partners in two classes we tried to dissuade others from joining us, but someone always seemed to tag along.

  Saturdays were hit or miss. Sometimes we’d see each other at a party. Sometimes we could carve out a few hours in the morning or around lunch to sneak away, just the two of us, but my brothers and her sisters often kept us busy with expectations on the weekends, so we didn’t always get that time in either. I would never dare go to her sorority house—that was opening a can of worms we weren’t ready to address. She was always welcome at my house, but my brothers treated her like one of the guys. They always fought over who would partner up with her for video games, and I felt like I was in constant competition with each of them.