Love Inspired November 2014 #2

by Lorraine Beatty

  “No. We’re too close to turning things around. We have to open up.” But she didn’t want to call her mother.

  “Nicki, honey, you need her at a time like this. Sadie’s her granddaughter. She’d want to be here.”

  He was right. Slowly, she pulled her phone out of her purse. Before she could make the call, the door opened and a nurse looked in.

  “Dr. Wells said Sadie’s fever is coming down, but she wants to run a few tests.”

  Relief made Nicki light-headed. Burying her face in her hands, she muttered a thankful prayer then glanced at the nurse again. “My baby is going to be all right, isn’t she?”

  “We’ll know more when the tests are completed.”

  The nurse left and Nicki dialed her parents’ number with shaky fingers.

  The sound of her mother’s voice released the tears she’d been fighting. When her parents walked into the room a short while later, Nicki threw herself into her mother’s arms. “Oh, Mom, I’m so scared.”

  “Tell me what happened.”

  Nicki explained and then they settled in to wait. Finally, the doctor entered the waiting room.

  “Sadie is doing well. I don’t think it was anything serious. Her fever spiked. It’s not unusual in small children. When it happens so quickly, it can cause febrile seizures. A terrifying thing to witness, but not usually serious. I’d watch her for the next couple of days. She might be coming down with an infection or a cold. If she runs another fever, call your pediatrician right away.”

  “Can we take her home now?”

  “Not yet. I’d like to get the test results back before we send her home. Are these your parents?”

  Nicki made a quick introduction.

  “Have any members of your family ever experienced these seizures?”

  Nicki looked at her mother.

  “No. Never. Why?”

  “A child is more likely to have febrile seizures if either of his parents had them when they were young.”

  Dr. Wells looked at Ethan. “What about the father’s family?”

  Nicki crossed her arms over her chest, avoiding Ethan’s glance. “The father is deceased. I don’t know anything about his medical history.”

  “I see. Well. If you’ll follow me, I’ll take you to Sadie. You can stay with her until we get those test results.”

  She grabbed her purse and started from the room, followed closely by her parents. She glanced back at Ethan. He wasn’t moving. There was something odd about his expression, but she didn’t have time to think about that now. “Aren’t you coming?”

  “You go ahead. I’ll open the store. Let me know as soon as you get the test results. I’ll see you when you get home.”

  “Nichelle, come on,” her mother said.

  With one last glance at Ethan, Nicki followed her parents down the hall. The only thing on her mind now was getting to Sadie and seeing for herself she was all right.

  * * *

  By the time Ethan returned to Latimer’s, he was emotionally drained and fighting a headache that squeezed his skull like a vise. The doctor had been encouraging about Sadie’s condition, but he wouldn’t be able to relax until he knew for sure. A traffic light blinked red, and he pulled to a stop. A knot of fear the size of a basketball lodged in the center of his chest. The memory of little Sadie in the throes of a seizure tore at his heart. She was so tiny, so fragile. Nicki’s panic washed over him again. He hadn’t known what to do either, but getting the sick baby to the hospital had seemed the most logical thing to do.

  The light turned green, and he eased forward. He pulled the car to a stop near the back stairs of the store and dug out his cell, praying for some word from Nicki about Sadie.

  Nothing.

  He gripped the steering wheel tightly, giving it a frustrated shake. As he climbed from the car, his eyes automatically lifted to the spire visible above the buildings, and he offered up a heartfelt prayer for Nicki and the baby. Some of his fear eased, but his guilt lay like a pool of acid in his mind. He’d promised Nicki he would open the store. He’d make sure things went as planned today. It was the least he could do.

  Inside the office, he put in the combination to the safe, removed the till and set it on the desk. How ironic. Nicki trusted him enough to give him a key to the store, and the combination to the safe, but he’d failed her on the most important thing in her life. He’d been so caught up in taking pictures, he’d missed that Sadie was getting sick. He hadn’t learned a thing. Except to confirm what he’d always suspected. He’d make a lousy father.

  Setting his jaw, he walked out to the register, counted out the coins and bills, then made a quick sweep of the store, straightening and making a mental note of items to be restocked. As he turned the Closed sign to Open, he hoped there wouldn’t be any customers for a while. He needed time to process what had happened this morning.

  He checked his phone again. No message from Nicki. Walking to the office, he stopped in the doorway, visions of Nicki and Sadie floating through his mind. This morning’s scare had yanked the cover from his feelings, exposing the truth. He was in love with Nicki, and his heart belonged to little Sadie.

  It was the last thing he needed right now. And he certainly wasn’t qualified to be a part of their lives. And he couldn’t forget Nicki’s need to regain control of her life far away from Dover. He wasn’t about to complicate her goal by confessing his feelings.

  By lunchtime he’d still heard nothing from Nicki. He had to remind himself that she didn’t owe him anything. She was with her family. The best thing for him to do would be to back off, rebuild the barrier around his heart and leave as soon as he could. Dover wasn’t the haven he’d hoped for. Latimer’s would be solvent soon, her dad back in charge. He’d hang in for the next week or so, then maybe head back to Atlanta.

  His text alert tone sounded from his shirt pocket and he pulled out his cell. It was from Nicki.

  Sadie fine. Waiting on last test result. Home in few hours.

  The sense of relief left him shaky, but grateful. He wasn’t sure how he’d avoid Nicki from now on when all he wanted to do was pull her into his arms and never let her go.

  * * *

  Nicki bundled Sadie close in her arms, rejoicing in the comfort of holding her. Her parents had driven her home from the hospital. They’d wanted to take her back to their house, but Nicki was craving some quiet time with her daughter and the comfort of her own apartment. “Mom, I’m going to go in the store first. I know Ethan will want to see for himself that Sadie is all right.”

  “I’ll take your things upstairs. If you change your mind, we’ll come and get you.”

  Warm affection filled her. Things had changed drastically in her relationship with her mother.

  “Thanks, Mom, but all I want now is to be home.”

  Her mother touched her hair tenderly. “We’ll call later to check on you. And please tell Ethan how much we appreciated his help today.”

  “I will.” Nicki waved goodbye to her dad, who was waiting in the car, then went inside the store. She peeked first into the stockroom, then into the kitchen, but she didn’t see Ethan. Which meant he must be waiting on customers. She saw him the moment she reached the sales floor.

  “We’re home.”

  Ethan searched her face, then looked at Sadie. “Is she all right?”

  “She’s fine.” Emotion cracked her voice. Ethan’s eyes looked moist. “Would you like to see for yourself?” She started to hand Sadie to him, but he pulled back.

  “No, no. I’ve got customers.”

  Puzzled, Nicki looked past him into the store, but didn’t see any shoppers. Focusing her attention back on him, she noticed that his posture was rigid and his expression closed off. What was wrong with him? “Okay. I’m going upstairs to get Sadie settled in. Do you need me do
wn here?”

  “No. The store will be closing in an hour. I’ll lock up.”

  “Thanks. Mom sent a casserole home with me for supper. I’ll fill you in when you come over.”

  “Yeah. That’s great. I’d better go check on the things.” He held her gaze a moment, then walked away.

  Disappointment crept into her throat. She’d envisioned a happy reunion, not the cool reception she’d just received. Searching her mind, she could find no reason for Ethan’s behavior.

  But when Ethan didn’t show up for dinner an hour after the store closed, she crossed the hall and knocked on his door. For a moment, she thought he wasn’t home. Finally he opened the door, but only partially, standing with one shoulder braced against the edge.

  “Are you coming over? Sadie is about to fall asleep. I thought you’d want to say good-night.” The torment in his dark eyes sparked her concern.

  “I don’t think so. I’ve got stuff to take care of tonight.”

  They’d been friends long enough for her to recognize when he was avoiding her. She wouldn’t let him do this. “You have to eat. And if you don’t want to eat, then come have some tea. I need to fill you in on Sadie. I might need your help again, and I want you to be up to speed.”

  His shoulders relaxed and he inhaled slowly. “Fine.” He stepped through the door and followed her across to her apartment. She noticed he was barefoot and wearing his favorite black sweatpants and white T-shirt that did little to hide his broad muscled chest.

  “If you want to say good-night to Sadie, you’d better hurry. I’ll fix you a glass of tea.”

  Ethan nodded and headed toward the nursery. Nicki’s heart was tight with anxiety. She had no idea what was wrong with Ethan, but it scared her.

  She fixed two glasses of tea, put a helping of the tuna casserole on a small plate and carried it to the coffee table in case he changed his mind about eating. Then she went to the nursery. Ethan was standing at the crib, gripping the rail and staring down at Sadie. He didn’t look at her when she entered. She stepped beside him, resting her hand in the center of his back. She could feel the tension in his muscles. “She’s fine, Ethan. She even smiled and jabbered on the way home.”

  He nodded, not taking his eyes off the sleeping child. “The tests?”

  “All good.”

  “This is my fault.”

  “What?”

  “Sadie being sick. I thought she felt warm when I put her to bed last night, but I thought it was the lights.”

  “Lights?”

  He waved off the comment. “I should have told you. You would have known what to do.”

  “Ethan, you can’t blame yourself for what happened. Her fever spiked. There’s no way it was your fault. The good news is there was no underlying cause.”

  “I should have said something.”

  Nicki took his hand and tugged him to the living room. She crossed her arms over her chest and held his gaze. “You were the one who knew what to do, Ethan. I was too scared. I didn’t do anything but scream. I didn’t know whether to pick her up or leave her alone. You were the one who took charge, and I’ll never be able to thank you for being there for me. For us.”

  Ethan stared over her head as if unwilling to accept her gratitude. He shook his head, but she reached up and took his face between her hands. “Stop. You cannot blame yourself for Sadie’s fever. If anyone should feel guilty, it should be me. I’m her mother and I didn’t see she was getting sick either. I checked her when I got home, but I missed it, too.” A sudden lump of fear, guilt and gratitude clogged her throat, bringing tears to her eyes. “Things could have ended so differently.”

  Ethan pulled her into his embrace. “You’re a wonderful mother. I won’t let you think that way.”

  She slipped her arms around his waist. “And I won’t let you blame yourself for something that wasn’t your fault.”

  “I was supposed to be watching out for her.”

  “And you did. You got us to the hospital.” She pulled away, quickly missing the warmth of his arms. “Come and sit down. I’ll fill you in.”

  Reluctantly he joined her on the sofa, taking her hand in his and resting them both on his knee. “I told my mom how guilty I felt and she told me about an incident with my brother, Kyle, when he was playing soccer. He fell during the game and hurt his arm, but he got up and kept playing. Later that night Kyle started to complain and become feverish. They took him to the E.R. and found that the arm was broken. My mom felt awful. Said she should have known it was broken. She was his mother.”

  “And the point is?”

  “That being a parent is a constant challenge. You do the best you can day by day.”

  “What if your best isn’t good enough?”

  “Then you put your trust in the Lord and He’ll help you through. We can’t do it alone.”

  At that moment she suddenly realized that she needed Ethan at her side as she raised Sadie. But how could she tell him? And what did this mean for her plans to leave Dover?

  Chapter Eleven

  Nicki glanced up as Ethan walked past her office door Friday, leaving a splinter in her heart when he didn’t speak or glance her way. Nothing had been the same since Sadie’s trip to the hospital. Ethan had built a barrier around himself, one that neither she nor Sadie could penetrate. He interacted only when necessary, and he hadn’t visited with Sadie in two days. She missed the closeness they’d shared. She missed him.

  Her gaze moved to the computer screen and the résumé she’d tweaked. It was time to start applying for the positions she’d targeted. Her dad was improving quickly, the store was on track to be in the black again, and she had saved up a small sum toward her move. She’d feel more confident if she had access to Brad’s money, but her attorney was still working on that.

  The prospect of leaving Dover didn’t excite her the way it had a few weeks ago. She could think of only one reason why: Ethan. Frustrated, she left the office. Time on the floor helping customers was always a good way to keep her mind occupied. Unfortunately, the morning dragged on with few customers and little to do, raising her concerns for the store. She was straightening up the window display for the third time when a familiar voice called her name.

  Nicki glanced up to see her father approaching. “Dad. What are you doing here?”

  He gave her a quick hug. “I came to have lunch with my girls.”

  “I’d love that.”

  Ethan approached from the back corner of the store, where he’d been stocking merchandise. “Mr. Latimer.” He shook his hand.

  Nicki noticed he didn’t smile or even attempt to make conversation. He was cool and detached. “Would you mind watching the store for a while? Dad wants to have lunch with me and Sadie.”

  “Sure. No problem.”

  Ethan walked away, leaving a knot of disappointment in her throat. Upstairs in her apartment, Nicki fixed sandwiches, placed them on the table, then reached for Sadie, but her father refused to relinquish the little girl.

  “She’s fine here on her granddaddy’s lap.”

  “If you say so.” They chatted a few minutes, enjoying their time together. Then Nicki sensed a change in her father’s mood. One glance at the expression on his face told her she was in for a talking-to. The kind where he imparted advice whether she wanted it or not.

  “So, what’s going on between you and Ethan?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Things seem strained between you.”

  No point in denying it. Her dad always figured things out. “He blames himself for not realizing Sadie was getting sick. I told him it wasn’t his fault, but he’s convinced he’d make a terrible father because he was raised in foster care.”

  “What do you think?”

  “I know he’d be a good dad. Like you. He
’s kind, gentle, thoughtful. And he adores Sadie.”

  “So is that what you’re looking for, then? A father for Sadie?”

  “No. I mean...someday, but not now. I’m still planning on leaving Dover as soon as I can find a job. There’s not much opportunity here.”

  Her father nodded thoughtfully. “Still determined to go it alone, huh? Nichelle, this independent trait of yours has always troubled me.”

  Nicki sighed. “I know.”

  “I’m beginning to think you have a limited understanding of what independence means.”

  “It means I’m a strong, capable woman able to control my own life.”

  “It can. And I’m so proud of your ability to conquer any obstacles in your way. After what you went through with Brad, it’s understandable. But you’re wrong if you think independence means you don’t have to depend on anyone else. We all depend on someone. I depend on your mother. I depend on God every day. You depend on us—and Ethan. And Sadie depends on you.”

  “You don’t think I can manage on my own?”

  “I know you can, but could it be that your obsessive need to be on your own is more about your pride and insecurities than a real desire to move away just so you can prove yourself capable?” He reached over and took her hand in his. “Nichelle, real independence allows you to be who you are and pursue the things you love. Finding someone who gives you that kind of freedom is a special gift. Are you in love with him?”

  “Maybe. I know there’s something between us, and I care for him a great deal.”

  “You know that the man is in love with you?”

  Nicki blushed. “You’re wrong. I don’t think he has any feelings for me beyond friendship.” She remembered the times she’d thought he was going to kiss her and how disappointed she’d been when he hadn’t. Did that spell love or simply mutual attraction?

  Her father sighed. “Knowing you, you haven’t made it easy for him. You probably reminded him every moment that you’re leaving Dover ASAP and that you don’t need anyone in your life. Am I right?”