Down Under Complete Trilogy Box Set

by S. M Phillips

  "I'm going to have that bastards balls, and I'll squeeze them off with my own pissing hands. Why you let him leave before I got here, I'll never know. Mark my words Jess; he will pay for what he's done to you." In this moment I don't doubt it for a second. Jen could be a right mean bitch when the time has called for it in the past. Fortunately, I have never been on the wrong side of her, and I also have no balls, so I'm pretty safe for now. Well, I like to think so anyway.

  "Jen, I love you, really I do and I'm thoroughly grateful that you’re here, but please don't talk. My head hurts way too much." Last night comes crashing back into my mind again, repeating like a horror movie in my mind and I just can't shift it. The bile begins to burn my throat as I feel it making its way up. I take a few deep breaths to try and keep it at bay. Why couldn't it have just been a dream? Oh my god. I'm a failure. I'm just like my mum. A useless, emotionless wench who nobody will love. Dear god, she would be so fucking proud of me. Maybe I should give her a call just to say, "Hey mum, you know when you told me I was a waste of space and no one would ever stay around long enough because I'm poison? Well here's a massive high five to you, because what do you know? You were right all along." The tears escape me, leaving hot trails of salty wetness in their wake and I allow them once again to fall.

  "A few strong coffees and you'll be all right doll. That hangover will be gone in no time." I bloody hope so. I've never felt so ill in my whole life. "Don't worry about that knob; he was never good enough for you anyway." She gives my shoulder a quick rub and wipes the hot salty tears from my face before pulling me out of bed, and into my new, single life.

  JESS

  I'm still panicking as I push open the office door. I can't remember the last time that I have rushed anywhere. I take a step into the room and plonk my backside down into the nearest chair in the room. I look straight across and sitting here, facing me is Mal, looking down and twiddling his thumbs. This isn't your typical Mal behaviour. He's normally the life and soul of the office, so to see him like this stills some fear into me instantly. Shoot, I'm really in the crap here. It doesn't escape my attention that no one else is in the office at this so called important meeting. The unease that begins to bubble deep within my chest doesn't budge, it only intensifies and no matter how many deep breaths I take to try and calm myself down; I still find my heart rate accelerating.

  "Hey. Sorry to keep you." I say as I try to even out my rapid breathing. "I would have called but it seems that my phone has gone AWOL. So where's everyone else?" I say looking around to express my concern. Call me paranoid but you could cut the tension in the room with a knife. Something is wrong and I'm really not sure if I want to hear what it is. Maybe I'm working too hard. Maybe I need to tone it down a bit and give everyone else a chance to work on the latest clients, but I need the distraction.

  "It's just you and me today flower. Why don't you grab us both a coffee before we start?" He says, still twiddling his fingers.

  Start? Start what? If he is going to sack me, I would much rather get it over and done with and save myself the embarrassment of being a failure to the business, like I have proved to be a failure in my personal life. Why the hell do I not have my phone? It’s times like these that I would be able to count on Jen. A quick text and she would know what to do. She'd probably tell me to stop being such a paranoid cow and to just get on with it. God, I love that woman. She has been my strength these past two months. Without her, I don't know what I would have become. Whenever I needed a kick up the arse, she was right there with the highest pair of heels, on ready to do the honours.

  I return from the kitchenette sporting two mugs of coffee and a glum face. I feel like I'm on fucking trial. I have worked for Mal for the past eight years and I have never known him to be so reserved. I wish he would just speak to me, or even acknowledge that I have returned to the room. I gently place the mugs down in front of us, and brace myself for the firing of a lifetime. One thing is for sure, I won't be going anywhere without fighting my corner. Oh well, I guess here goes nothing.

  "I'm not sure what I've done," I tread carefully once I notice I have his attention, "but I'm sure whatever it is, I didn't do it with intention, because I sure as hell don't remember doing anything that falls within the grounds of gross misconduct." At least not whilst I have been sober anyway. Whatever happened to what happens out of the office stays out of the office? If this is Tim's doing, I'll have his balls on a platter.

  "You could have let me go over the phone Mal. Trust me, it would have saved me the embarrassment." Not to mention my pride. I'm not sure if he's heard half of what I just said as I'm talking so fast. Oh please don't make me repeat it all again, I pray silently. I start to fiddle with the hem of my top. I can't help it, It's an automatic gesture whenever I'm nervous or worried. Most of the time I don't realise I am doing it, unless someone points it out to me and by the way Mal is looking at me, he knows I am worried too.

  I watch him carefully as he rises from his chair and walks over to where I am positioned at the other end of the large oak desk. Everything seems to be moving in slow motion and the seconds feel like forever. I take a long look around me so that I can store it into my memory. I love this office; it's so big and spacious, with stunning views of the city. I have always said, one day it will be my name on that door. Unfortunately it seems that day will never come. He places his hand on my shoulder ever so lightly and takes in a deep breath. In relief or despair, I can't be sure. But a look of pity still shows on his gentle face.

  "Oh Jess, don't be so bloody dramatic." I look up at him in disbelief. Dramatic? My career is on the line for reasons that are unknown to me and he’s telling me not to be bloody dramatic. When I don't respond he actually has the audacity to laugh.

  "Flower, I'm not sacking you. In actual fact, that couldn't be further from the truth. Whatever gave you that crazy idea?"

  "I'm not sure Mal. Maybe calling me on a Friday night and demanding that I come in for an important meeting on the only day that you deem is inappropriate for work, may have given me a slight cause for concern." My heart is hammering in my chest. What is he trying to do, give me a heart attack? My mind’s on overdrive here. If I’m not losing my job, then what the hell am I doing here in the first place?

  Mal returns to his seat and goes back to staring blankly off into space. Oh god. I hope he isn't ill. He has worked far too hard to fall ill and not be able to enjoy any of the benefits when he retires. After a few brief minutes, which feel like an eternity, he slowly comes back to me. This time his attention is fully focused on me.

  "Times are changing Jess and no matter how much I try and ignore the fact, I'm not getting any younger. The business needs to expand. It has done for some time, which I have constantly put off because of my loyal staff." He pauses, shifts slightly and takes a sip of his coffee. Now I am even more confused than before. All I can do is look at him and hope that he will enlighten me some more.

  “Okay.” I say, still not following where he is going with this, but eager to find out all the same.

  "The business needs to move on Jess." Again, this still means nothing to me. I have never once known Mal to be so cryptic. "I'm trying to think of an easy way to say this flower. I know how dedicated you are to your job and this is one of the reasons why it’s been so hard for me to tell you." Finishing the rest of his coffee, he continues. "The bottom line is, I have been made an offer to expand and it is a really, really great offer to extend the business overseas." I know he is waiting on a response. He may be waiting for some time as my brain and mouth suddenly don’t want to work with each other anymore. All I see is such longing in his eyes, that I instantly feel bad for being such a selfish cow and worrying about how all of this will affect me. Mal has always expressed his dream of expanding his company 'Stanton's' but has always put it to the side so he could focus on the developments here. However to be given the opportunity to expand overseas would be the icing on the cake for him and what he has achieved so far. I can't even beg
in to imagine how he must be feeling. Still, he sits here waiting for me to process what he has just told me. Patience of a saint this one.

  "That's fantastic Mal, it really is. I bet Daisy is overjoyed at the prospect of moving away. Better watch your bank balance though." I laugh. As much as I love Mal, his wife Daisy is one of a kind. I started working for Mal as soon as I had finished college. I was given work experience at Stanton's whilst I was studying Business and Daisy, the love that she is, had Mal snap me up as soon as the opportunity arrived. I was instantly welcomed into the Stanton family business without a moment’s hesitation and we have remained exceptionally close since then. I'm really going to miss them when they relocate. It’s not like they are going to be thousands of miles away, surely.

  "So, don't hold back on me now. You’ve had me sitting here on my day off informing me of your brand new adventure and you haven't even told me where Stanton's is expanding to."

  A large glorious smile lights up his face as he says, "Australia doll. Living the dream on the Gold Coast. You should have a look; the area is perfect for development, so we should fit in brilliantly."

  "We?" I say. Confused doesn't begin to cover what I am feeling at this moment in time.

  "Yes, we. Me and you, us. Come on, Jess. Did you really think I would leave my hardest and most talented worker here when it will all be going on over there? Oh no, flower." Shaking his head, he continues. "I have plans for you, and this is just the beginning of them. I just wasn't sure how to approach you with such a big ask."

  I'm seated here in silence, frozen in shock. Today cannot be happening. My emotions are all over the place and nothing seems to be making sense whatsoever.

  Holy shit, I'm going to Australia. I'm actually going to Australia.

  When, how and why? I have so many questions going through my head, I can feel the beginning of a headache coming on. Mal brings my wandering brain back to the present.

  "I have been approached a few times over the past year by a company out there. They want to build a new hotel complex in the area and they’re quite keen to work with us. They've sent me the brief over and it will consist of a state of the art hotel complete with onsite entertainment and additional holiday villas. I suppose the time has come to venture out into the big wide world at last and why not when I have the girl who can deliver the goods?" He rises from his seat and pulls out his phone, signalling the end of our meeting.

  "Wow. I'm not sure what to say. When will it all be happening?" I ask, my head still a little hazy.

  "Have a think on it flower and we will revisit the situation in more detail on Monday. I wouldn't want to keep you from the rest of your weekend, now." He smiles at me. I go in for a hug and a swift peck on the cheek as I say my goodbyes and grab my belongings. The moment I am out of that door and out in the fresh air, all I can think of is how much I need a drink, or four.

  I make it home within almost half an hour and my head is still all over the place. Would this move be permanent, or would I just be out there over seeing the developments? Oh god. What if I don't have what it takes and I make a mess of the project. The company would pull out and Mal's reputation would be tarnished forever. I don't think I can handle that much pressure on my small tiny shoulders. I take a moment to gather myself before I turn into a hyperventilating mess and then round the corner. Just when I thought today couldn't get any worse, I spot a familiar car on my drive. "You have got to be joking." I mutter to myself and reluctantly make my way over. Sitting in the car before me is Josh Evans. My lovely, ever so faithful ex. Why he’s turned up on my door step I don't know, but I suppose I'm about to find out. I have made it pretty clear over the past two months that I don't want to talk to him, let alone see him. We split just over two months ago; yet he doesn’t seem to understand that when I ended it, I also ended our friendship too.

  He jumps out before I even make it to the bottom of the driveway. Sucking in a deep breath, I make my way over. Fake smile plastered on my lips as I stand before him. Yes, I am too nice for my own good, but I try my best to avoid drama where I can; which isn't often.

  "Jess." My name is more of a plea on his lips as he shuffles slightly on his feet and runs his hands through his longer than normal blonde hair.

  "What do you want Josh?" My face may be smiling, but he must be more of a prick than I thought, if he fails to notice the venom in my tone. Still, he edges forward slightly while looking a little confused as to where he is going with this.

  "How've you been? You're looking… really, really good Jess." I stand facing him in utter shock. What the fuck. He really must be looking for a high five to the face. He hasn't given me compliments in ages, so why start now? Maybe Mike has had enough and now he’s decided to return with his tail between his legs. Throughout the whole of our eight year relationship he only seemed to pay attention to me when he wanted to get his leg over, only recently have my eyes been opened to it. I suppose through my weaknesses, he would always find his strengths. From where I'm standing, he isn't coming across as the big, tough guy now. He just looks lost. Well, that isn't my problem anymore.

  Fuck, now I feel like such a heartless cow for thinking this way. What if he's in some sort of trouble? I seriously hope he hasn't been doing anything stupid.

  "What do you want Josh?" Yes it comes out bitchy but I can't help it. As much as I might still care for him deep down; the anger and the hurt still take centre stage. I find myself just standing here waiting for him to hurry up with his response, when I notice the expression on his face. Hurt or shock, I can’t be sure. It's a look that I struggle to place, as I don't seem to recall ever seeing it on his face before. Maybe if I hadn't been such a push over when we were together and been straight to the point more often, I might have been treated with a little bit of respect, and maybe felt like his girlfriend rather than his go to when he needed something.

  "I just thought we could maybe talk, even do lunch and catch up?" I look at him straight in the eyes to see if I can get a sense of reason why he's really here. Deep blue eyes stare back at me. No matter how angry and hurt I am, I can't deny Josh his looks and physique. Josh has always been attractive. All the girls wanted to be seen on his arm, and they still do. At six foot three, lean and well-built, with deep blue eyes that search into your soul, it’s hard not to be sucked into everything that is Josh. I thought I would be the one that ended up spending the rest of my life with him. I always thought he would be the father to my children; we would grow old and retire to somewhere peaceful in the countryside. Well he certainly made sure that wasn't going to be in my future didn't he?

  If only I knew then, that later on down the line that my heart would be pulled from me and twisted so hard for added effect, then I may have headed into things with a lot more caution; not that my sixteen year old self would have listened to anybody who tried to warn me away from him. Love can be so blinding at times. I dread to think how long this has been going on. Knowing my luck, he has probably made his way all around town during our relationship. If that's the case, I'm amazed how his dick is still in place.

  "Look Josh, I'm really busy right now, I've got loads of stuff going on and to be honest I don't think a catch up is what we need right now. Everything that needed to be said has been said, plus much more." I think back to the constant emails and phone calls that he made in the weeks after I threw him out. I haven't heard from him in a week, so I presumed he finally got the message that I meant it when I said we were over. His face is now void of any emotion and I am starting to feel a little heartless. "Maybe some other time?" I blurt out without thinking. His face lights up with that smile of his, that used to blow me away and forgive him anything. For a moment he looks like my Josh again. My Josh, who wouldn't do anything to hurt me and would always put me first. Oh bollocks Jess. Get a bloody grip and ignore the cheating prick. You really don't need to fall for his lies anymore. He may have been able to sweet talk me in the past, but not anymore. Before I can retract my offer he comes back at me with wor
ds filled with hope.

  "That's great, say tomorrow? I'll pick you up? Or should I just come here?"

  "Let me call you. Like I said, I have a lot on at work. Let me check what's happening and as soon as I know what's happening and stuff, I'll be able to tell you when I’m free?" He steps a little bit closer and pulls me in for a quick hug and a swift peck on the cheek. I instantly tense. Feelings that I no longer want, start to form and rise within my chest. The feeling of having his familiar body pressed against mine, fills me with unease. It just feels wrong, so, so wrong. After what he has done to me, I shouldn't be enjoying his embrace, but for a moment it feels natural. How it used to be and my body begins to betray me by melting into his.

  "I miss you Jess, so fucking much it hurts." It's barely a whisper, but loud enough for me to hear and it snaps me out of my senses. I pull away and step backwards.

  "Josh, please don't do this." I plead. He must know that he still has some effect on me, and he’s using it to his advantage. "Hey listen. I said I’ll call you when I'm free and I will, but please don't try and make this," I point between us "into something that it isn't and will never be." The unfamiliar look returns to his face once again. A look of pure defeat. Before I lose my resolve, I turn to head up my drive and don't even bother to turn around to see if he is still staring after me, knowing that if I do; the look in his eyes may break through the anger that has been protecting me in a way, from forgiving him.

  I throw my bag and keys onto the console as I walk through my house. I really want to scream and let all my built up anger out. How dare he come here and ask me to go for lunch. How dare he turn up here unannounced and mess with my head, as if he hasn't messed with it enough already. For the best part of two months I have been doing great, throwing myself into work and catching up with my friends. Now he's come here to tell me that he misses me? It's a shame he didn't miss me when he was shagging that home wrecking whore. It's a shame he didn't miss me while he was constantly making me feel worthless all of the time and making me out to be the world's most rubbish girlfriend because I took pride in my job. I suppose your view on things can change when you are forced to grow a set of balls and man up. Thankfully, I’ve had Jen to help me see some sense. Did he really just come here today to fuck with my head? Maybe he thinks if he comes back and begs for my forgiveness, then I will eventually take him back and forget his cheating ways, because I love him. Maybe it's because he was my first? Don't they say you always go back to your first? Well, he's going to be in for quite the shock when he realises that we are done. There's no going back, ever. If you can betray me once, you can betray me again.