"I love it." I whisper against him, while inhaling his addictive, manly scent. His arms tighten against my waist as he holds me close.
"I'm glad you like it. You know that I'll always give you the best that I can, don't you?"
"I do."
"I'm not going to lie, Jess. I know I'll fuck up, probably more than once. All I ask is that you know how much I care about you when I do."
"Where's this coming from?" My gut is telling me that I don't want to know where this is heading. I've always said it's too good to be true and now I feel like I'm going to get the breaking up speech.
"I'm still getting used to this, to us. I just wanted to let you know that you belong here." He takes my hand and holds it firmly to his chest, where I can feel his heartbeat thudding away. "You'll always belong here, and I think you have since the day you crashed in to me."
"You mean a hell of a lot to me too, Max." I reply, my head slightly fuzzy and my legs weakening at his words. He looks like he's about to say something further when we're interrupted by the doorbell.
"That'll be our ride. Come on." I'm hoisted up and gently placed back on my feet again as Max takes my hand and leads us towards the door. What the hell was he going to say? I guess I'll never know now, but it's going to annoy the hell out of me all night.
Max doesn't keep his hands off me throughout our journey. His right hand is placed at the nape of my neck as he softly plays with my hair and his left is firmly set on my thigh.
"It's been a good day." I say, not realising that I was thinking out loud.
"I'm glad you've enjoyed yourself. You deserve it. Fucking hell, you've had a pretty shit few weeks and I'm sorry that I couldn't do anything to stop it." His eyes search mine and all I see is his concern reflecting back at me.
"What do you mean? If it wasn't for you, I don't know where I'd be right now or what kind of state I'd be in. You, Jen and George have been my rocks and I'm truly grateful for each and every one of you."
"I struggle to watch you hurting when I can't take it away. It makes me so fucking angry."
"All right. Calm down tiger." I say, a little unsure of where this seriousness is coming from.
"You know that I'd never hurt you intentionally don't you? I'd never, ever hurt you the way that prick did."
"I know." I don't even know why I have just said that. As much as I would love to, I just don't think I'll ever be able to trust anyone again after what Josh did. All I can hope for is that karma will soon come back around, and I'll be waiting on the side lines with my pom-poms on ready to watch when it does.
Our conversation is once again brought to a standstill as the taxi stops in front of our destination, but I can’t shift the worried expression on his face out of my mind.
"Were going clubbing?" I say wide eyed when I look outside the window. Now, going clubbing with Max is something that I never thought I would experience. But, here he is surprising me once again.
"Uh huh. I thought it was about time you showed me what all this fuss is with those mock-cocks."
"Do you mean cocktails? You Max Wild, are not going to know what's fucking hit you. Beer will soon be a thing of the past for you." I bust out laughing at the worried expression on his face as I climb over him to open the door. I squeal a little as he slaps my arse. If it wasn't for us being in a public place, I may well have turned back around to carry it on.
Jess
"Oh my fucking god. What is that on your neck?" Jen squeals at me as soon as she sees me. "It's fucking huge."
"You like?" My hands automatically fly to my neck and I wriggle it around in front of her. Maybe I shouldn’t be drawing attention to it, too much. The last thing I need is to add getting mugged to my list of shitty events.
"Do I like? You better sleep with one fucking eye open, because that baby's coming home to mamma. You did good muscles." She says to Max. Oh yes, he bloody did. Not as good as me by snatching him up though.
"Is that who I think it is?" I ask Jen when I look over and see George. "Wait... Do you think this has been his mystery date?"
"Uh huh. Bit of a shock right?"
"Just a bit." I look at Jen, and I’m speechless. No wonder George has been staying on the low. The sneakily little bugger has been having it off with someone we've known all along. "Did you know about this?"
"Not until about half an hour ago. I passed them off as friends up until tongues started ramming into each other. Seriously, I'm like a fucking gooseberry and that shits not good for me or my soul you know?"
"Where's Luke?" It's not like him to be away from Jen. Whenever I see her, he's normally around with at least one body part touching each other.
"Oh, he got held up at work, but he said he'd be around later. What's the birthday girl drinking? I need to get away from all of these fucking loved up couples, it’s making my stomach turn."
"Jealous much? I'll have my usual and get this one a sex on the beach, he's in the mood for some cocktails, isn't that right, dear?" I mock him.
"Whatever the birthday girl wants."
"Fucking hell, Max. She's trained you quick hasn't she?" She laughs, but I know deep down she’s happy for me.
"She's sure done something Jen. I'm just not a hundred per cent certain what it is."
"Fucking hell." She whispers to me. "You have no idea how much I hate you right now, you bitch." Oh I do, but I know she’s happy with Luke. I think she’s just finding it hard now that George has his tongue deposited down some guy’s throat. He’s always mingled when we’re out, but he’s always been by Jen’s side too. Maybe he hasn’t even realised that Luke isn’t here.
"Hello, you." I mouth to George and his friend as soon as he sees me. He looks a little sheepish when he follows my line of sight. I don't know what he needs to be sheepish about though. It’s not like I’m going to go out of my way to deliberately embarrass either of them. George hasn't really brought his dates out with us before, so this leads me to think that maybe things could be moving along a lot quicker than normal with these two.
"Hey. Wow, that fucking necklace is definitely eye attaching to say the least, princess. You want to be careful you don't get mugged." He says, voicing my sudden concerns from earlier on.
"I doubt she'll get mugged with us around." I turn and see Max stood behind me, looking all brooding and protective. It's pretty sweet, but I just wish he'd let his hair down every once in a while when he's out. I turn to look at him and reach up on my toes.
"Why don't you quit stressing over everyone else who's here and enjoy yourself? It's my birthday and you have to do as I say."
"Is that right, angel."
"It sure is, Mr Wild." I'm treated to a kiss and a smile spreads across his face which makes him look much more younger and carefree. It makes him look like my Max. The one I see when no one else is around and I get butterflies in my stomach just looking at him.
"So what's going on with you two then?" I ask, unable to hold back anymore. I raise one eyebrow at George and he smiles shyly at me.
"I guess we just wanted to keep it our little secret for a while."
"Oh, dirty little secrets. I love them." Jen comes barrelling towards us balancing a tray filled with a variety of cocktails. "I got you a few to try out muscles, seeing as though you’re in an experimental mood." I can't help but laugh at his shocked expression when he eyes up the multi-coloured beverages. "Don't look so shocked, I've got some shots coming over soon. Maybe that will help you feel like a man?"
"She's fucking crazy." He whispers into my ear and I can't help but agree with him. Yes she's crazy. But she's my crazy.
The rest of the evening goes by so fast that it's not long when I find myself being carried out of the bar in Max's big strong arms. I've had an absolute ball for my birthday, and I don't think I've ever had a better one. I just don't think my head will completely agree with me when I wake up tomorrow, but still, it’s been amazing.
"Thanks for tonight." I whisper into Max’s toned, broad chest. I think
I’d actually be able to fall asleep like this, no problem.
"Don't thank me angel, your little partners in crime did most of it. All I did was show up."
"Bullshit." I slur. I don't believe that for a second. "So they went to Tiffany's and picked out the most extravagant gift for me did they?"
"Okay, you've got me there. That was all me. I'm not going to lie; it was one of the scariest moments of my life. Do you know what it's like for a bloke to walk into a place like that solo?"
"Oh, I can't imagine what that would have felt like. You must have been so uncomfortable." I taunt him.
"Luckily enough for you angel, you're worth it."
Max
It's the smell that turns my stomach. Stale smoke and alcohol consumes me. It burns deep into my chest and I feel the bile begin to rise up my throat. I don't need to see him to know that he's there. just smelling him is more than enough for me.
"You're too good for that son of a bitch. You don't need to waste your precious time on him." He snarls somewhere in the distance, but his voice is loud enough for me to hear. "I can take you away from it all, to a happier, safer place. He destroys everyone who comes into his life sooner or later. Surely you don’t want to end up the way his mum did, do you?"
I try to race forward as soon as I see Jess come into view, but my feet stay rooted on the ground.
"Let her fucking go, you bastard." I shout. He turns around to face me and all I can see is the poison in his eyes and his mouth curves into a snarl, displaying his crooked yellow, Nicorette stained teeth. "Jess. Jess, turn around and go."
"No one cares, Max. Do you think she can hear you? I'm going to make this as easy as possible for her." My heart stops, my breath caught in shock as I watch the shiny metal blade connect with her throat.
"Nooooo... Jess."
My eyes fly open and my breath comes in short, rapid bursts. It takes me a moment to remember where the fuck I am.
"Max." Jess whimpers and I quickly turn to face her. Fuck, she’s alive. It was just another fucked up bad dream. “Thank god she's alive.” I think to myself. I watch her for a moment, but she doesn't stir again, instead she lies peacefully and content as she continues to dream away. Completely oblivious to the torture that’s going on in my head.
What the fuck is he doing still penetrating my dreams. That fucking bastard should have been out of my life a long time ago, yet here he is. I don't need Don to tell me that he only appears when I'm fucking happy. I just need to control it. This time, I didn't disturb Jess. Thank fuck. I just don't think I'm ready to explain all that deep shit to her just yet. To be honest, I don’t think I’ll ever be ready.
After trying to go back to sleep for the past half hour, and only managing to toss and turn, I give in and decide another run is in order. Even exercise isn't clearing my head like it used too. I take one last look at my sleeping angel. She's fucking perfect in every way possible. What if my dreams are right? What if I am poison and I don't deserve to be happy? What if my dreams are a sign? A sign that my angel isn’t going to be in my life for much longer?
The streets are dark and cold as I begin my run. I'd much rather be in bed with Jess, with her warm, delicious body pressed up against mine, but I can't guarantee that the nightmare won't return. I'm taking the meds that Don gave me, but they seem to be having zero fucking effect. Maybe it might be worth me giving him a call to see if he can prescribe me something a little stronger while I'm over here. Anything’s got to be worth a shot.
My minds still frazzled when I arrive back at Jess' house and it doesn't surprise me when I find her tucked up and still fast asleep in bed. I place a fresh bottle of water on the table beside her. I know she's going to need it when she wakes up. That's going to be one hell of a hangover that she finds herself with. I reach out and gently stroke her hair and her mouth parts a little at the contact. She's so fucking perfect. I know for a fact that I don't deserve her and I don't need some fucked up dream to tell me that. She's everything that I ever wanted, even though I never knew I wanted her. I'm just scared that one day something will happen and it will remove her from my life for good. When that day comes, I'll be nothing but a dead man. An empty fucking shell with nothing left worth living for.
I know that she should rest, but I find it so hard to pull myself away from her. She's got this constant pull that draws me to her and shit, I was fucking stupid trying to fight it.
Max Wild, finally at the fucking beck and call of a woman. I think to myself. But deep down, I know I really don't care, as long as I continue to make her happy. If I can make her as happy as she makes me, then I’ll be one happy fucking man.
As I walk into the kitchen I see my phone flashing to life on the side. Fuck, who's trying to get hold of me so early in the morning? It's either Jen, Luke or Melissa. None of which I have a sudden desire to speak to until I've had a dozen cups of coffee down me. Curiosity gets the better of me and I check it anyway. It’s not like I have to call them back straight away.
Panic sets in as soon as I see that caller I.D. There's not just missed calls, but there's also voice messages too. Fuck. Please don't say anything bad has happened to him. I really don't think I could go through it all again. With shaking hands, I pick up my phone and hit call on the voicemail and anxiously wait for the messages to play. It feels like a lifetime for the call to connect.
"Max, it's me. Listen, I hate to call you. I know you've got a lot on right now, but I really need to speak to you."
Then I move onto the second.
"Okay, son. I don't know if you've listened to my other message yet, or if you're downright ignoring me. Either way I need you to call me. I know over the phone isn't the best way, but I need you to hear it from me rather than anyone else. There's also Melissa to consider here too. Please call me as soon as you get this."
What the fuck? If I thought I was confused before, then it's got shit on how I'm feeling right now. Why would he need to talk to me? He sounds well enough and it can't be anything to do with the missing file as I know for a fact he would have said that in the message. And I know he’d be pissed about me keeping it from him. Running my hands through my hair, I decide on calling him back, otherwise it'll be nagging at me like a bitch. Something serious has happened, that’s for sure. I just don’t know what.
I hit call as the coffee is brewing. Looks like I'm going to need one of these to get me through this call after all. He doesn't answer straight away, which leads me to think that it can't be that important. I'm just about to hang up when he answers.
"Max, am I bloody glad to hear from you, son."
"Okay Mal, I'm not going to lie to you. It's not even six o'clock here and my brain isn't functioning to well right now, so you wanna tell me in English what this jargon’s all about?" I really hope this isn't about a new development idea that he's come up with, because recovering or not, there will be fucking hell to pay.
"Max, I've been sat here for hours debating in my head whether or not I should call you. It's been tearing me apart. Daisy felt I should, and if I was you, no matter how much you'd deny it; I'd want to know too."
"What the hell are you talking about? Quit talking in riddles and just tell me, will you. It's too early for this shit." I snap at him and I feel bad as soon as the words have left my mouth. What is it with people going around the houses all of the goddamn time? How fucking hard is it to get to the point?
I hear him breath in and he lets out a heavy sigh before he says, "Max, it's your father."
My mind goes blank and I kind of zone out at the word father. Why would Mal be calling me about that mother fucker? He's fucking behind bars, getting three square meals a day and breathing air that he doesn't fucking deserve after what he did. Talk about fucking living a cushy fucking lifestyle.
"Whatever it is Mal, I don't want to hear it. You of all people should know that." I can feel myself raging inside, and it takes everything I have not to slam the phone down and punch something. This is fucking crazy. It's got to
be another one of those fucked up dreams and any minute now, I'm going to wake up next to my perfect piece of heaven.
"I thought you'd say that. But you'll listen to me and you’ll listen to me good. Then and only then will you can decide what we tell Melissa. It’s not just you that this effects, Max."
Jess
The bed is empty again when I open my eyes. The first thing I see is a bottle of water on the side. Max must have known that I'd be suffering this morning, but surprisingly I don't feel so bad. Except for my mouth. My mouth feels like it's been dead for a while, so the water is most definitely welcome. I guess people act differently with alcohol and age. Now I don't want to jinx anything here, but maybe I've lost the ability to suffer from hangovers. Bloody hell, I put enough away last night to know that I should definitely warrant the mother of all hangovers, but so far, so good. Then the fear kicks in. Oh god, what did I do? Did I make a twat of myself? I bet I did. Is that why Max isn’t here? Why do I do it to myself, or better still, why does Jen let me do it? I swore that I’d be on my best behaviour. Stretching out my arms, I feel the panic begin to set in further and stir in the pit of my stomach. I'm home in one piece so surely that’s got to count for something.
The events of last night slowly begin to piece together in my mind. The first thing that swims to the front of my mind is arriving home to an almost naked chef and pizza takeout, then the sex. Oh god, the mind blowing secret birthday sex. I wouldn't mind having a birthday everyday if that's what I end up coming home to. Then I remember my present. Oh, shit. I automatically feel my, but it's not there. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I hope I haven't lost it. That thing most likely cost more than your average mortgage. Insured or not, I can't possibly have lost it. I shoot up in bed and let out a sigh of relief when I see it placed on my dressing table. It's even more breath taking than when I first saw it. The diamonds shine so bright and cause a multi-coloured rainbow that reflects across my wall. The last thing that I remember is the nightclub, but I don't remember leaving. I suddenly remember George and his secret date though. Well it's not so secret now, but bloody hell; I never ever would have put those two together. I suppose they say opposites attract and all that. It's a whole bloody mystery to me, but one thing I do know, is that I wish them both all the happiness in the world and more. It's about time George found a decent bloke, and I think he might have just found one. All I've ever wanted for my friends is for them to be happy, and it looks like the three of us might be finally growing up and joining the big bad world.
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