Once I've finally dragged myself out of bed, I decide to go on a search around the house for Max. Maybe he's gone out for a run again, or maybe he's being a good boy and making me some coffee. He actually makes really good coffee. Come to think of it, there's not much he isn't good at. But fortunately most of his specialities are reserved solely for me.
I come up short when I realise that he isn't here. It's bloody Sunday for god sake, he should still be asleep in bed; being lazy like any other guy. I laugh to myself though, because I know Max isn't your typical guy. No he's definitely far from it. Anyone would be crazy to put him on par with your average guy.
Seeing as though it looks like I'm going to have to fend for myself, I scuttle over to the kettle and switch the toaster on. At some point last night, I decided that I was going to take each moment as it came. Life's too short for anything else. When life deals you a set of cards, the best you can do is learn how to play them.
My phone chimes to life beside me and I dive on it in the hope that it's Max. My heart sinks a little when I see that it's not him, but I'm still more than happy to talk to the caller.
"Hey stranger." I smile down the phone, suddenly realising how much I’ve missed her.
"Hey, girlie. Just thought I'd check in on you. It's been a while and I started thinking you'd had enough of Max's shit and forgotten about me." I can tell by her voice that she's probably playing with her hair and pouting down the phone.
"No." I laugh. "I'm good, we're good. It's just been manic over here the past few weeks and everything's been put on the back burner. But enough about me, how are you?" I ask, eager to know what's been happening while I’ve been away.
"What can I tell you? Life's fucking good right now, Jess. Really good. The sun's been shining and I've had some hot hunk of a man parading around my house almost naked at every hour."
"So Max knows?" I ask, even though I already know the answer. I'm so glad that I wasn't around when that shit went down. It would have been hard for me to watch and I think if push came to shove then me and Max would have had a falling out over it. Melissa’s a big girl and she can make her own decisions, but then I also understand where Max is coming from too. At least I escaped that drama.
"Uh huh. Seriously, why does the guy never fucking knock? Heath hadn't been here all that long, and we'd just reacquainted ourselves, well you know what I mean and as soon as we walk into the kitchen, the fucking raging bull’s sat there, looking like he’s about to kill. I've never shit myself so much in all my life, Jess. Heath tries to save his balls by saying we'd just been out for a surf, but Max being Max wasn't buying any of it. You know he doesn't take anyone's bullshit."
"Boy am I glad I wasn't there." I whistle down the line.
"But that's just the thing, Jess. He was fine with it, or as fine as he could be. Don't get me wrong, he did the whole big brother speech which was kind of embarrassing, but it's better than Max killing him."
"See what did I tell you? I told you he'd be fine with it. He's got to realise one day that you're a big girl now and he doesn't need to watch over you every day." She sounds so happy and it's nice to hear. I do miss her and can't wait to get back over there and see her. "What else has been happening while I haven't been around?"
"Nothing much really. But you'll be pleased to know that I've decided to be a good little assistant and I've re-jigged your whole diary."
"Well, I'm glad you’re finally working. Should I be offended that you're only at the office now that I'm not there?" I wonder how she's coping having to work with that dragon all day. I'm guessing she doesn't know about the recent drama, or maybe she just doesn't want to talk about it with me.
"Hey, I'm not going to lie. The idea of working in such a small space with that cow was enough to make me walk of a cliff, but you work there too and if you can do it then so can I. Plus, you're not going to be stuck in England forever are you?"
"I guess not. I don't know when I'll be back though. I guess I need to speak to Mal." And soon. I've no idea when he wants this sign over to take place. I don't even know where I'll be placed first. I guess if I'm in charge, surely that means that I have that power to decide. Maybe I could use it as a bargaining chip and I could spend our summer here and winter down under. Oh, constant summer all year round. What's better than that?
"Oh please say you're coming back soon Jess. I kind of got used to having you around. It's fun with you here, you know."
"Thanks." I say and I genuinely mean it. "I enjoyed being with you too."
"Of course you did. I'm fucking awesome. Just don't be a bitch when you come back to work. I'd hate for our friendship to be on the line, and it will be. So I guess you've been warned."
"As long as you do your job and don't take the piss, we won't have any problems."
"God, you sound just like Max, you know. Speaking of, get him to call me when you can please."
"I will do. When I see him anyway. He went out earlier and he's not back yet."
"Okay, well make sure he's taking good care of you, otherwise I’ll get all protective on his arse. I'll speak to you soon."
Max
My head feels like it's about to explode. No matter what I do to try and stop it, it's still fucking booming. Information overload and information that I didn't need to fucking hear. I know why Mal felt like he had to tell me, and I know his best intentions were there, but that doesn't help me. Not now. Not fucking ever. If anything, it’s probably fucked my head up even more.
What the fuck am I supposed to do now? I need to get back to Melissa. There's no fucking way that she can hear about this from anyone else. But that means that I'll have to leave Jess behind for a while, at least until she's comfortable with leaving her mum. Fuck, fuck, fuck. It never fucking rains, but it pours.
Jess. There's no way that I can possibly begin to explain this to her. There's no way that I can tarnish her soul with my fucked up past. I guess there's no hiding from it now. It's all going to come out sooner or later and there's nothing that I can do about it. At least before, I could try and control who knew, but now? It looks like that right’s been taken away from me too.
The only people that really know what happened on that fateful that day are Mal and Daisy, and they're on the other side of the fucking world. Melissa knows a little bit about what happened, but I tried to protect her from the worst of it as much as I could. Well at least until she was old enough to put shit together and start asking questions.
"Mornin" I look up and see Amelia sheepishly walking through the office, her head down and refusing to make eye contact with me. I came here to get some peace and quiet. The last person I thought I'd see would be her. What the hell is she doing here on a Sunday anyway? I can't bring myself to talk to her, let alone look at her for longer than a second. How can she even walk in here, knowing full well what her and that bastard have done to my angel. "Don't worry, I'm not staying. I've just come to grab some things."
"Don't let me stop you." I bite out, while clenching my fists. Today really isn’t the day for this bullshit.
"How's Jess."
What the fuck? Has she really just asked me that? What does she expect me to say? She's fucking hunky-dory and loving life. "I don't think that's really any concern of yours do you? If you cared about her, then you wouldn't have been putting it out for her fella would you?"
"I didn't..." She starts, but I cut her off. I don’t want an explanation. It’s not me that deserves one. No that would be Jess.
"You didn't what? Think? Care?" I snap at her not really caring when she flinches back at the venom in my voice. "I bet she did nothing but care and support you before she found out, am I right? No, screw that, I know I'm right. You see, Jess is one of a fucking kind and along come people like you to fuck up their whole perception on life and ruin their trust and kindness."
"You want to watch who you’re talking to."
I hear him before I see him and my head snaps across to the direction of the door. Fucking great, tha
t's all I need.
"I thought I told you not to come back here? I guess I should have known you’d be too fucking stupid to listen."
"No one tells me what to, especially some jumped up prick like you. What are you still doing here anyway?"
"Wrong fucking answer, mate." I'm up out of my seat before I can stop myself. If he thinks he can come in here and start shouting the odds then he's got another fucking thing coming.
"Amelia, get your stuff. We're going."
"I told you to stay outside. Why can't you listen, Josh?" She pleads, while looking completely terrified, and so she should, too.
"Yeah, why don't you be a good boy Josh and do what you're lady asks."
"Where's Jess?” He asks. “You know she'll never love you the way she loves me. It's nothing personal; I just think you should know the facts. She'll come running back to me soon enough." He says with a cocky smirk plastered all over his face, while Amelia just stands there looking completely broken and defeated. Everything around me goes blank and all I can hear are his words echoing in my mind.
"Over my fucking dead body." I think to myself just before my fist connects with his jaw. I vaguely hear Amelia cry out, but it doesn't stop me. I've wanted to do this since I first laid eyes on him. I'm not going to let him walk away now, he’s fucking had more than enough chances.
My fists keep hammering into him, eager to do as much damage as possible, and the sickening thing is; I actually feel fucking better for it. All the stress, worry, pain and shock that has taken over my life since Mal's phone call earlier seep out of my body with each strike. I’m fucking furious that this prick thinks he can get away with destroying Jess’ life and then stick around to rub salt into her barely closed wounds. Well not on my fucking watch. I’ll happily put him six foot under before I allow that to happen.
"Max, Max stop." I hear Jess cry out and at the sound of her voice, my mind becomes clear again. I pull my eyes away from this waste of space in front of me and see her. Everything that I have ever wanted and everything that I will ever need stares right back at me like I'm a monster. A dangerous, savage monster.
"Jess..." I begin, but she walks straight past me and pulls Amelia away from us.
"I don't want to hear it, Max. You better fucking clear this mess up. The pair of you. Once you're done, you'll disappear out of my life forever. Do you understand?" She says with the most serious look on her face.
"What?" I ask, my heartbeat drumming in my chest at her words. I gave the guy what he fucking deserves and I should have done it along fucking time ago. Yet here I stand, and the woman who I have done it for, wants me gone; out of her life, forever. Surely she can see that I’ve done this for her? Everything that I do is always for her.
"Josh... I said do you understand me." I look at her again and see that she isn't actually looking at me, but Josh. Relief floods through my body when I realise she doesn’t want me gone after all. “Of course she was taking to this prick.” I think to myself.
"What are you doing with someone like him, Jess? Do you really want to be with someone as violent as that? I fucked up; sure, but there's no way that I could ever hurt you like he could."
"Josh, you have hurt me. You've hurt me in more ways than you'll ever know. And yes, I really want to be with him." I look at Jess and feel a huge sense of pride watching her stood tall, shoulders set and a look of pure determination on her face.
"But why?" Josh laughs. “I don’t get it. You deserve better than him.”
"Because I fucking love him, that’s why. Now fuck off out of my life for good and take your little slut with you."
Jess
I feel the office go silent at my words. Words that I never, ever thought I would allow myself to say again. Words that I secretly knew we're true in the bottom of my heart, but words I didn't want Max to hear. At least not yet, not like this.
"Amelia, you need to go. You can either take this piece of shit out with you or I'll call the police for constant harassment." I say, rather calmly considering the current situation.
"Come on, Josh. Move." Amelia says to him, but he just sits and stares at Max. Why I'm not so sure.
"Josh, I'll only tell you this once. Either you move or I'll stamp all over you with these heels, and they don't feel too good when they squish balls." I watch him think over my threat for a moment and when I step towards him, he quickly moves and try's to stand on his feet.
"Right, fine I'm going. Amelia, come on."
"I'm not going anywhere with you. We're done Josh, and this time I mean it. Me and this baby don't need a lowlife like you in our lives."
"But..."
"But nothing. You've had your chances with me. I guess it looks like you’re on your own." She doesn't look at either me or Max as she walks towards the door. She doesn't even look back at Josh before she walks out of the office to only god knows where. I’ll never truly forgive her for what she did to me, but part of me feels sorry for her. After all the shit that happened, she’s finally opened her eyes to see what a scumbag Josh really is, and now she’s literally the one who will be left holding the baby.
"I'm going goddamnit." Josh says as Max walks towards him. I hold my arm out to stop Max from getting any closer to him. The last thing we need right now is another blood bath.
"Just let him go." I mutter. "He's not bloody worth it."
"To hell he isn't." I keep my arm held out across Max until Josh is completely out of the office. As much as I hate Josh and want him to suffer, there is no way that I'm prepared to let Max end up in a cell somewhere because of him. He's done enough damage and ruined my life already. I'm not about to lose the only true piece of happiness that I have left.
"I'm gonna head to Joe's. Do you fancy a sandwich?" I shout over to Max. He's been quiet since his showdown with Josh earlier, and no matter what I do, I just can't shift him out of this mood. I hope it's not going to be sticking around for the foreseeable. Brooding, demanding Max is one thing, but quiet Max is someone that I haven't come across yet and I don’t think I want to.
"No, I'll just have a flat white." He shouts back at me from Mal's office but he still sounds royally pissed off. Oh fuck. What if it's because of what I said? I didn't even think when I said it and now he's gone all sour and it's all my fault. Shit, shit, shit.
One of these days I'll learn how to control my bloody mouth. It was just a slip of the tongue, in the heat of the moment. I was angry at Josh and I needed him to know that he has no part in my life any more. My life is, and always will be with Max. It's not like I meant to say it out loud, at least not there anyway. He's going to think I'm too much, that I'm some deranged obsessed bunny boiler.
Oh, holy fucking balls, what am I going to do now?
I walk straight past the bustling crowd and make my way inside Joe's and find a seat. I just need a moment. A moment to think and evaluate what has just happened. I know Max's threats towards Josh weren't tongue and cheek. I knew eventually he'd come to a blow around him. I just didn't know when. I guess I expected Josh to say away from the office, and away from all of us. Truthfully, I don't think I could have ever prepared myself for it. My heart begins to flutter in my chest when I remember Josh's bloody face as he lay on the reception floor. Anyone could have walked into the office at any time. I dread to think how much shit Max could have landed himself in. Not to mention the fact that Josh could still press charges. Surely he wouldn't be stupid enough to do that, though?
"Hey princess, what are you doing all the way over here? I saw you come in."
I instantly feel my eyes well up as George looks as me with such concern on his worried face. "Oh George..." I begin, but I can't continue from the constant shake of my lower lip.
"Hey, shhh. It's okay. You wanna talk about it?" He waits patiently for me to collect myself, and all I can manage is a feeble nod.
"Everything's gone bat shit crazy and I don’t know what to do."
"Jess, between you and Jen; everything's always bat shit crazy." He lau
ghs, trying to make me feel at ease, but this time it's not working. "How about you start from the beginning? It's fine, I'm due a break."
"I thought I'd get out of the house for a bit. Get some fresh air." I begin, but I have to stop so I can control my breathing.
"I'm surprised you're up at all the amount that you put away last night."
"My head's fine. Well, at least it was. I woke up and Max was out. I thought he'd gone for a run at first, but after a while I realised he that he wasn't about to come back anytime soon. I knew the only place he'd be would be Stanton's, so I thought I'd surprise him."
I stop when I see the look on George's face and I know what he's about to say almost instantly. "If he's..."
"No, no it's not what you think, George." I quickly cut him off. "When I walked in, I found that Max wasn't alone. Josh was on the floor almost knocked out and covered in blood. Amelia was standing on the other side of the room, crying and shaking, and Max... Well, I guess the only way to describe Max would be to compare him to a bloody wild, savage beast. I've never seen someone look so possessed."
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