The Bathrobe Knight

by Charles Dean

  “I don’t know,” Darwin scratched the back of his head. “To be honest, at first, as soon as I was safe and out of the Minotaur land, figuring out what happened was all I could think about. Then the feeling faded. I found myself acting without thinking, doing everything I could for people who followed without hesitation. Before I knew it, I had gone from investigating my situation to just embracing it and rolling with the punch.”

  “So, you are just going to stop trying to find out?” she pressed on, her frown growing sterner by the minute. “You’re going to give up?”

  “It’s not giving up, Kass,” Darwin started rubbing his forehead with the hand that was scratching the back of his head. “There aren’t any hints to chase. I reached a dead end long ago, and I was left with a choice: mope around about something that won’t change or do the right thing by the people who need you.”

  “So you did the right thing . . .” Kass lowered her head and cast her face away from Darwin.

  “Yeah, as far as I can tell I did the right thing to the best of my ability,” Darwin reached out and put one hand on each of Kass’s shoulders. “Kass, look at me.” She did. “This isn’t a punishment. Being stuck here isn’t a curse. That message was right. This is a home to me, regardless of how I got here. I have the chance to embrace who I am and be something more than just a pencil pusher in an office who waits for a day off to spend by myself.”

  “But, but what if you die here? What if something kills you?” she mumbled, her voice as shaky as her eyes. “What if I lose you . . .”

  “I’ll be fine. This is me you’re talking about,” he said with the best forced smile he could muster. “Nothing is going to happen, okay?”

  As Darwin did his best to maintain eye contact, he found himself confused by the feelings that the whole ordeal was giving him. Does she really care about me this much? He was failing to process her reaction. This isn’t Sassy Kassy; this isn’t the joking girl that always teases me. Her quivering lip, her shaking eyes, her stiff body--this isn’t the confident Kass that I’ve spent so much time with.

  An awkward silence persisted for a minute, and Darwin found himself even more baffled by what to do, so he finally gave up on thinking about it and went with his gut: he hugged her. He brought her in and wrapped both arms around her, patting her head as it lay against his chest. “I’m sorry I’ve worried you so much,” he said in the gentlest voice he could muster. “I’ll be fine. Trust me.”

  “Okay,” Kass said into his chest after a minute, pushing herself free and rubbing her eyes for a second. “Just don’t think this changes anything.”

  “I wouldn’t dare.” Darwin smiled as he watched her become collected and composed again. “But, maybe you should take a moment, do what you will and all, and I’ll see you on the boat Alex picks for us. I have something to take care of first.”

  “Are you always going to be this mysterious?” she said, grinning. “Will you ever leave us a note or something explaining what you’re up to before it’s happened?”

  “Probably not, no,” Darwin mused, “it would take away all the fun.”

  “You’re so weird.” Kass hopped off the Hydra and headed to the fields. Darwin suspected she didn’t want to pass up the opportunity to get more loot than him.

  “Well, that was, like, cool beans and all. Totes expected waterworks,” Stephanie said, appearing almost instantly where Kass had been.

  “I probably shouldn’t agree with you, but I kind of did too.” Darwin’s hand found itself scratching the top of his head this time.

  “Like, totes expected you two to kiss too,” she said, stepping right into the space where Kass had just been standing. “That woulda been, like, totes unfair, ya’know? Girl needs’ta learn I, like, already have dibs.”

  Darwin looked her up and down for a quick second as she edged her way closer. She was stunning--Michelangelo couldn’t imagine a better figure--but it was a dangerous game he was playing with her, and he knew it. She wasn’t just a little stronger than him: her power was world’s above his current abilities, and she knew it. She may have saved his life, but at any point in time she might get angry and lay everything he had worked so hard for to waste.

  “What'cha thinkin’ about? You’re, like, looking at me, like, all intense,” she said, tilting her head from one side to another as she looked at him, the missing bubblegum smacking becoming more noticeable to Darwin.

  “Hmm . . . I suppose I was thinking about doing this,” he said, grabbing both sides of her head and pulling her in for his best attempt at a French kiss. It didn’t last long, a few seconds at best, but for Darwin it left a conflicting taste in his mouth. It felt both great because her lips were twice as soft and four times as sweet as he remembered and a little bad because he knew that he was kissing her to kill her jealousy over Kass, a girl he liked just as much as her, in order to keep Stephanie at his side.

  “That was . . . that was a surprise,” Stephanie said, her accent completely gone as she touched her lips lightly with one finger. “That was a rather pleasant surprise.”

  “I figured after earlier today, my luck’s been pretty good with things involving you,” Darwin slid his hands from the sides of her head to her hands. “Didn’t see any point in not taking a risk, wouldn’t you agree?”

  The guilt Darwin had over possibly just using Stephanie and how Kass might react faded rather quickly as she pulled him in for a second round of French kissing, and they were completely gone by the time the two came up for air.

  “I have to tell you something: I’ve never kissed a girl before you, so I’m not sure how much of a compliment it is to tell you that that was the best kiss I’ve ever had,” Darwin said, his breath a little short from not realizing he could breathe through his nose during the kiss until the very end.

  “Don’t worry. You’re the best by default too,” she smirked, gripping his hands tightly as she leaned back a little.

  “I hate asking this, but can we be seen in public without getting stone cold stares?” Darwin snickered a little.

  “Well, like, at least you totes won’t have to worry about, like, other guys looking at me,” she said, her original cheerleader speech pattern returning.

  “No, and I can say with confidence that you’re so gorgeous you’d leave a room full of men hard with just one look,” Darwin winked.

  “Okay, like, that’s enough out of you,” she giggled. “I, like, have to book it anyways for, like, just that reason. Your crew is about to, like, show up, and I’m def thinking you don’t want a new art collection.”

  “No, I don’t think I do, but when will I see you again?” Darwin asked, squeezing her hand one more time before letting it go.

  “I’ll, like, sneak on your boat for that, like, boring trip to the mainland. When you’re, like, done with all that, like, boring bossing lordy-lord stuff, just head to your Captain’s quarters. I’ll, like, be waiting there,” she said, biting her bottom lip and raising both her eyebrows twice, “so we can, like, pick up where we left off, ya know?”

  “Sounds great,” he said, leaning in and sneaking one final kiss before she disappeared. He was just about to feel pleased with himself when it hit him, what he had forgotten to ask her. Darwin’s face paled for a moment. Between the drama that Kass had stirred up and the excitement of his first real romance, the thoughts about why his sister didn’t want him to be saved by her had completely skipped his mind. He wanted to kick himself, but he wasn’t entirely sure how to accomplish that, so he just ended up sighing. It doesn’t matter, I’ll have several hours to bring the subject up with her on the ride to the mainland, he reassured himself before focusing on yet another realization: I’ll have several hours alone with her . . .

  Qasin:

  Qasin threw his Sword into the ground, leaving barely a foot and a handle sticking out. It was comforting to watch it slide into the ground just as easily as it had slid into so many bodies before. It was comforting, but painful. It tightened his chest to think that,
whether it stood still within the ground or waved about in the scabbard at his side, it would remain unused.

  After this war, there would be no coming battles. The Kingdoms were united, the foes were cast off and the peoples were safe to live in peace. His future wars would be wars with boredom, wars with the dullness and tedium waged over fruitless conversations about semantics and politics. The glorious battles that left his blood pumping like it was on fire would simply be a thing of the past.

  “I wasn’t able to fulfill your request, Eve,” he glowered. He couldn’t see her, but he could still feel her eyes piercing his back.

  “Now, now, don’t tell me that’s why you look so morose, dear King?” Eve said as she stepped out of the shadows. “You may have failed one of my idle requests, but my brother is safe, your battle has been won, and most of your men are still alive to go home to their families. Certainly you should be happy right now, no?”

  I should be happy right now. She’s right. As a King, this was an overwhelming victory for me even if it did come with the help of Darwin and that woman, Qasin couldn’t take his eyes off the hilt of the blade he had cast into the sands. The longer he looked at it, the more he found himself thinking about how the hilt had felt against his hand as he had torn through one White-Wing after another. He had crushed the initial center of the enemy’s line, dancing through the sky on the stepping stone bodies of the White-Wings who had been unfortunate enough to be diving or flying in his vicinity as he carved crimson across the sky.

  “Qasin, my dear King, you must learn to be a little happier. You don’t want your men to see you lugubrious on the day of their victory.” She slinked up beside him. “That’s rather poor form for a commander.”

  “Then what? Should I lie a smile across my face?” he took off his Crown and twirled it in his hands. “Return to the camps, give another rousing speech, bolster their post-battle spirits?”

  “Mmhmmm,” she agreed, resting her chin on his shoulder as she leaned against his back. “But what shall this rousing speech be about?”

  Qasin stopped twirling the Crown for a moment, “The speech should be about reassuring the men of the importance of what we gained, not what we lost. I likely need mention the sacrifices some made, and the glory all gained.”

  “That’s good, Qasin,” Eve whispered as she stood draped across his back. “You are becoming quite the leader. Now tell me what you’ll do after.”

  Qasin glanced at the blade half buried in sand, “after that I’ll return to my throne where I will have to appoint new advisors. Then comes the annoying politics, judgements, and constant bickering of men who assume rights that aren’t theirs.”

  “Ah!” Eve said, leaning her head against Qasin’s, “No wonder you are scowling.”

  “What do you mean?” Qasin turned his head to face hers.

  “Just that your plan is the wrong one,” she responded, “You are sulking because you know it’s a terrible future to pursue.”

  “Well, what other choice do I have?” he stepped forward and turned around to face her. “As King, it is the only path to take. It is a sacred duty that I am tasked by the Crown to complete.”

  “You may be King, but you don’t have to be a slave to these people too,” Eve stepped back and pulled his Crown out of what seemed like thin air. “This is only a shackle if you keep thinking of it as one.”

  “Then what do you suggest I do?” Qasin asked, his attention back on the Sword in the sand.

  “Well . . . If you’re a good King, you’ll go out and conquer new lands for your people,” Eve said, motioning to the waters behind her. “You already have someone perfect for keeping them in line while you’re gone, someone who will never betray you again.”

  “Again?” he wondered, not sure who she was referring to.

  “Yes, the Messenger boy. He can keep the peace fine while you’re gone, and you can travel the world to conquer and expand your Kingdom,” her voice always had a way of creeping across his ears like a slithering snake, “to chase the greatest foes and fight the greatest battles.”

  The more he listened to her, the more he wanted it. It was all he wanted, all he longed for, and she was giving him the excuse he needed. He didn’t have to stay. She was right. If he could just get someone trustworthy to handle things while he was gone, then all would be well with the world. He could travel, but was the Messenger trustworthy? Could the Messenger handle things while he was away?

  “Oh, you are wondering if the man can actually manage the Kingdom while you’re gone? He’s just a Messenger after all, so what qualifications does he have?” she voiced his concerns. “How can you leave the fate of your people, the White-Horns and the Black-Wings in the hands of a glorified carrier pigeon?”

  “Yes, yes, that was my concern,” Qasin admitted, “I don’t want to stay. You’re right, but I also don’t want to leave the people I fought so hard for in the hands of incompetent men or some delivery boy.”

  “Well, what if I told you that I knew for certain he would do a better job than you? Would you let him try?” Eve asked, reaching out her hand for a handshake.

  Qasin hesitated before answering, as much as he didn’t want the tedium of day to day activities, he also didn’t want his people to be in danger because of his apathy. How can she be sure of the boy’s credentials? He didn’t understand.

  “Qasin, my dear King,” she turned around and started walking away, “I’m leaving on a boat at the first light in the morning. I must undo your failure to separate my brother from that woman before his destiny spirals out of my control. You will give your speech tonight, rouse your men, hand the keys to the Messenger to be warden over the Kingdom, and then you will join me on an adventure.”

  “Do I not have a say in this?” he asked after her as she walked further away.

  “It was not me that took away your choice and bound you to this path, Qasin. It was you,” she finished one last sentence before disappearing like a mirage fading into the distance.

  Qasin stared for a moment at the place where Eve had once stood, and then back at the Sword he had thrust in the sand earlier. I’m bound to this path, am I? he thought, his eyes not leaving the blade for even a moment. Why do I wish so strongly that I could believe even for a moment that what she said might have been a lie.

  He walked towards the Sword, knelt over and pulled it out of the beach. Come, my steel brother: our time together is apparently not over.

  Kass:

  Kass had to admit that the idea of a boat ride didn’t calm her stomach much. Her dad had taken her on the waters once or twice as a kid, and both times had resulted in the type of nausea one only gets from eating raw eggs, chugging spoiled milk and then spinning in place while listening to bad country music. She had only ever considered riding on a boat again if she needed to lose weight bulimic style, yet here she was standing in front of a giant glass ship.

  It was a long galleon made entirely of transparent glass, save for the cabins and quarters, which were gray-tinted. Other than the fact that the deck was much larger and longer than she had anticipated, and the ship didn’t stand nearly as high in the water as she had expected of a galleon, it had all the standard boat properties that made one feel like they were on the set of a Pirates of the Caribbean movie. Even looking at the central mast with its hanging sails tempted her to plant a Jolly Roger. For all the horrible things the White-Wings had set out to do, they had done at least one good thing: they created masterpieces like this. Apparently, this was one of many boats Darwin was confiscating for the Stormguard Alliance.

  As Kass stepped onto the boat, she found her eyes constantly drawn to Darwin no matter where he was on the ship. She had simply never been as confused about her feelings for a man as she was with Darwin. She liked him, and she couldn’t lie to herself about that no matter how much a part of her wanted to--and part of her did want to. After all, he was stuck here. No matter what relationship she pursued with him, it would always end with her logging off and him being
stuck in Tiqpa. Nothing real could come of it.

  “Lady Kass, is everything alright?” Justin had managed to sneak up on her yet again.

  “Yeah, Justin, I’m okay. I’ve just had a rough day,” she said, shrugging off whatever look had concerned Justin and forcing herself to smile, “but it’s over now, and we have nothing but blue skies ahead of us for the moment.”

  “Excellent. Lady Kass, Darwin is about to give some words of thanks to those who risked their lives on the beach today. I’m going to join them in a moment. Would you like to come as well?” he managed to ask without making eye contact with her once, only staring at the top of her head instead.

  “No, I think I’m just going to catch some sleep.” Kass was somewhat curious about what Darwin would say, but she was also starting to reach the end of her rope.

  “As you say so, Lady Kass. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I am going to take my leave to join the others,” Justin said as he ran off to the group gathering around Darwin.