The Investment Club

by Cooper, Doug

  From Mandalay Bay, they pressed on to Luxor, Excalibur, and New York–New York. The group was reduced to three: the two of them and the guy still hopeful he had a shot with Janel. Unfortunately he ended up sabotaging his own plan with his honesty and chivalry. He not only made sure he finished a beer or shot at every place, he often finished Janel’s to prove himself a gentleman. A strategy he was no doubt regretting when doubled over the trashcan outside New York–New York.

  Janel petted the back of his head gently. “You OK, babe?” Her action and tone were sincere, but her facial expression conveyed a different meaning. She stuck her tongue out, making fun of his barfing. “Looks like I should hold on to the prize money.”

  Crystal wasn’t as nice. She did a victory dance a short distance away, singing “Another One Bites The Dust.”

  After another big heave and subsequent splash, he reached into his pocket and took out the wad of $300. With his head still hanging over the trash can, he extended the money back toward Janel. She stepped back, moving closer to Crystal, still feigning comfort for their fallen castmate. “You going to be OK? Can we get you anything, babe?” Not even listening to his response, she pulled Crystal toward the cab line in front of New York–New York. “OK then. Catch up when you’re finished.”

  A few minutes later, after a short cab ride, arm and arm, Crystal and Janel stumbled into In-N-Out for their victory cheeseburgers. Even with their self-medication and subterfuge, they were both extremely drunk and ready to call it quits.

  Over Double-Doubles, a mound of animal-style fries, and chocolate milkshakes, they laughed and joked about the day’s events. But as their bellies filled and their energy diminished, the conversation also assumed a heavier weight.

  Finally giving up on the cheeseburger like she had on so many of the drinks, Crystal dropped the burger on her tray and pushed back in her seat. “What in the fuck are we going to do? Do you think other shows are hiring?”

  “Ugh, I don’t even want to think about that.” Janel took one more bite, then surrendered as well. “I just want to go home and sleep until I can’t sleep no more.”

  “I don’t even know if I can,” Crystal said. “My mind is just racing. When will this stuff wear off?”

  Janel reached into her purse again, this time pulling out a pill bottle. “I got just the thing. Take two of these. If you still can’t sleep, take one more. That should knock you right out.” She slid three pills across the table to Crystal.

  Crystal examined them in the palm of her hand. “What are they?”

  “Don’t worry about it. Just a pain reliever. They’ll relax you.” Janel popped one in her mouth and washed it down with a gulp of the shake. “It’s like a really strong Tylenol. You won’t feel anything until you want to. If you need more, just let me know.”

  Dow Jones Close: 10,856.63

  Chapter Forty-Two

  Date: Friday, May 9, 2014

  Dow Jones Open: 16,551.23

  The month of May is a gambler’s paradise in Vegas. It’s not as heralded as the Super Bowl or March Madness, but it’s difficult to find a more action-packed month. With the baseball season in full swing, the Stanley Cup and NBA playoffs narrowing the fields, and the Kentucky Derby and Preakness filling up two of the Saturdays, no matter the time or the day of the week, somebody always seems to have action on something, preoccupying them with the TVs in the pit. With a single wager, they are no longer just spectators. They have a defined role in the drama unfolding on the screens. Every twist and turn is an affirmation of their choice or a conspiracy to rob them. Of course the money is a factor, but more than anything, most sports bettors just want to be right, to watch their chosen scenario come to fruition, so they can puff their chests out and say, “I told you so.”

  That’s how it was for Bill and Les on the Saturday between the Kentucky Derby and the Preakness. They, like the majority of the West Coast bettors, had taken the favorite, California Chrome, and were rewarded for it. The Vegas sportsbooks took it on the chin with the favorite winning and also being a California-bred horse for the first time since 1962, but the losses were just a blip that all the action during the month would surely correct. Even when the sportsbooks lost, the casinos usually won. Winning only made people crave more action. Nothing spends easier than free money. For Bill and Les, that meant each betting a hundred on a parlay for game three of the NBA playoff series between the Pacers and Wizards in Washington. They both took the Pacers plus 5 points and under 183.5 to win $264.36.

  Despite playing blackjack while they watched, they paid more attention to the basketball than the cards. Penny was also at the table, but didn’t seem too interested in the basketball game. The first half was back and forth, with the scored tied at the end of the first quarter, and the Pacers up one at halftime, thirty-four to thirty-three, which meant they had six points to fade on the score and the pace was almost fifty under.

  Bill was more nervous about the outcome than Les. A hundred dollars was a hefty single bet for him. That was a whole night of blackjack. He rarely bet more than twenty-five on a straight-up bet and ten to fifteen on a parlay. Even though he risked the same amount on the game as he would on blackjack, and the two-and-a-half-hour sporting event might last longer than the round of blackjack, he felt more in control betting the hundred at five a hand than plunking it down all at once. But playing with house money after the Derby win, he was open to taking a bigger risk and followed Les’s bet.

  Catching his breath at halftime, Bill sat back in his chair, rubbing the stubble of his flattop. “Halfway home. Two more quarters like that and we’re cashing another ticket.”

  Les was calm and cool as usual. “No lead or total is ever safe in an NBA game. Either or both teams could come out and get hot and put up thirty to forty in a quarter and still push the game over. The only guarantee is that it’ll be a sweat at some point.”

  Penny joined the conversation. “What was your bet?”

  Bill fished the ticket from his pocket and set it on the table. It was wrinkled and already slightly faded, moist with sweat from his first-half nerves and excitement. He smoothed it out on the table, blowing to dry it out. “Maybe I should leave it up here for the second half.”

  Penny glanced at the ticket. “You’ll be fine.” Her tone was more than just polite reassurance. She was confident, like she knew something they didn’t.

  Les noticed it too. He said, “What makes you so sure?”

  Penny never lifted her eyes off the table. “Pacers will pull away in the second half. Hibbert has stepped up his game since the series opener, and they’re playing good team defense. Even though it’s close now, Washington had to work hard for their shots in the first half. They’re not going to be able to keep it up and will tire out. It’ll be a low-scoring game somewhere in the one hundred fifty to sixty range, and the Pacers will win by at least ten. You won’t even need the points. You should’ve taken the money line. The Wizards might win one more game in the series, but the Pacers will take it in at least six. No way it goes seven.”

  We all just stared at Penny, surprised by her detailed and concise prediction. I was trying to wrap my brain around how someone so beautiful and seemingly uninterested in sports knew so much. I had even stopped dealing, which she quickly corrected by repeatedly swiping for another card on her twelve against my ten. “I’d like a nine, please.” She had to settle for an eight. Smiling contentedly, she said, “That’ll work.”

  “Somebody is feeling it tonight.” I flip over a nine to make a nineteen. “The lady wins with twenty.” I pay her the fifteen she had bet and take Bill’s and Les’s bets for their losing eighteen and seventeen. “I don’t know, gentlemen. I think you should listen to her. She seems like she knows what she’s talking about.”

  Les asked, “You got money on this game?”

  “Nah, I never bet on sports. Makes it too much like work.” She upped her bet to twen
ty-five.

  Bill said, “Well then, darling, if you don’t mind me asking, how do you know so much about this game?”

  “More than a pretty face, boys,” she said. “I’m a sportscaster by trade. Actually I should give credit to my daddy. He was a coach back in Indiana. Bloomington High School South to be exact.” She thrust her fist in the air. “Go Panthers. I used to watch game film with him. He taught me how to watch games and analyze the teams. Once you learn, it’s something you never turn off.”

  Crystal walked up and sat on Penny’s left. She said, “Sorry I’m late. Overslept.”

  “That’s OK,” Penny said. “You didn’t miss much. Just me educating these male chauvinists on the evolving talents of women in modern society. I’m sure you could teach them a thing or two as well.”

  Crystal blushed. “Not sure the skills I have acquired would be of much interest to them.”

  Penny fanned her hand at Crystal. “I’m talking about your singing, which reminds me. I talked to my agent. He’ll be here two weeks from tomorrow. We’re going to dinner, then he wants to come hear you sing. Probably around eleven. Where should we meet you?”

  The direct question unnerved Crystal. “So soon? Well, I mean, I, uh, have to work. Another night would be better.”

  “It has to be that Saturday,” Penny said. “He’s only here the one night. What about that place across the street from OGs that you said you go over to sometimes?”

  “Dino’s? I mean, yeah, they have karaoke, but—”

  “Well, there you go. You never go to work before twelve anyway. Come there first, sing, and go to work afterward.”

  Crystal didn’t say anything. She nodded like she was accepting, but the look on her face said, Let’s talk about this later.

  The second half of the game started. The Wizards took the lead early in the third quarter. Bill immediately turned negative. “Well, here we go. The beginning of the end.”

  Penny put her hand on his shoulder. “Relax. There’s a lot of game left. You’re going to be fine.” Penny separated a hundred dollars in chips from her pile. “If I’m wrong, I’ll reimburse you for the loss.”

  Les said, “Why don’t you buy half the action so you got something to win.”

  “Yeah, do that,” Bill said. “Give me fifty now, and I’ll split the winnings if we win.”

  “When, not if,” Penny said. “And I told you, I don’t bet on sports.”

  As the third quarter progressed, the Pacers quickly erased the lead and took command by the end, leading by fifteen. The Wizards made a brief run in the fourth, almost cutting the deficit to single digits, but the Pacers surged ahead, winning by twenty-two: eighty-five to sixty-three, just as Penny had forecasted. Maybe it was luck. Too many variables in these things for it to be anything else. There was no way she could’ve known the Wizards would score the lowest total in franchise history, but her prediction was a hundred percent correct, so in everyone’s eyes at the table she was a sports guru and would stay that way as long as she continued to be correct. That’s the definition of an expert anyway. Someone who knows a sliver of information more and can maintain that gap.

  When the final seconds ticked away, Bill stood and hugged Penny. “You nailed that one, sweetie.”

  Penny scooped the chips she had set aside to cover the bet and added them back to her stack, which was over $300 without it. She was having a good night all the way around. She said, “Basketball, football, and hockey are my specialties—especially during the play-offs. The public always gets enamored with offense and underestimates defense. The offensive stats are built over the course of the season against a lot of subpar defenses. When a good offensive team plays a good defensive team, the defensive team will usually win, and when they don’t, they cover. You can probably win sixty to sixty five percent of the time just on that.”

  Les said, “Well, I guess we know who to come to for our sports tips from now on.” He counted his chips, which totaled $285, just under his normal $100-profit hard stop. After he lost big that one night, he went back to his disciplined play and slowly won back what he had lost. Pushing his chips to the center, he said, “Think I’ll take my winnings and run. I need to head back and close up. I was lucky to have enough volunteers tonight to be able to sneak down and watch the game.”

  “Come on, stay for a few more hands,” Bill said. “We got a good group here.”

  Les shook his head. “If it was my money, I would. But I need this for the Oasis. With the sports ticket, I’m well over my quota for the week. I can’t risk it.”

  Bill took fifty from his stack and slid it toward Les. “If you’re struggling, just ask. I’m happy to help.”

  Les pushed the fifty back to Bill. “I appreciate it, but you’re already doing too much.”

  “Nonsense,” Bill said. “You made this money for me. I never would’ve bet this much. Just keep it. I’ll stop by in the morning to help with breakfast.” He turned to Penny and Crystal. “You ladies should come by, too. We can always use the help, and you’d sure brighten the place up.”

  Penny plucked a hundred from her stack and tossed it on Les’s. “Let me add to that total as well.”

  Les became uncomfortable. “Don’t feel any obligation to contribute. I shouldn’t have said anything. This is not the time or place. Of course any donation, time or money, is appreciated. Feel free to stop by anytime. I’d love to give you the tour and discuss how you can get involved.”

  Crystal tossed fifty more his way. “Mornings are a little tough for me, but I only live around the corner, so maybe later in the day.”

  Penny got excited, drumming the table with both hands. “Oh, and you guys should come support Crystal next Saturday at Dino’s. Have you heard her sing? Amazing. My agent is in town and wants to hear her.”

  Crystal glared at Penny, reaching over and grabbing Penny’s hands, deadening the beat. Her arm tensed as she squeezed harder while she spoke. “It’s just karaoke. Really no big deal.”

  Penny pulled her hands away, which were flushed with blood from the tight embrace. “She’s just being modest. She has the voice of an angel. I know my agent’s going to love her. It should be around eleven o’clock.”

  “A bit late for me,” Bill said, “but I can make an exception.”

  Les looked at Bill. “Just help me close up that night, and we’ll head over together.”

  “Super,” Penny said. “And I’ll come by soon for the grand tour.”

  Les picked up the black, green, and red I colored up for him, nodding at Penny. “And perhaps you can tip us off on any other games you like for the week.”

  Penny grinned back. “I’ll see what I can come up with.”

  Bill didn’t bother cashing in his chips. He just scooped them up, along with his winning sports ticket, which had completely dried and curled up around the edges. Dropping the chips in his pants pocket, he straightened the ticket on the edge of the rail. “I hope they still take this.”

  I said, “As long as they can read the ticket number, you’re fine. Believe me, they’ve seen worse. I’ve heard of people going in with tickets taped back together or with food all over them after being dug out of the garbage after a miracle comeback. In some cases, they’ve gone in without the ticket at all and say what the bet was and when they made it, and the sportsbook was able to find it in the computer and match it to the person with the security tape.”

  Bill looked again at his ticket. “Well, I don’t feel so bad then.” He excused himself with a nod and followed Les to the sportsbook.

  Penny and Crystal continued to play, mostly arguing about Penny’s blabbing about the singing. Crystal said, “I told you I would think about it. I never said I would do it. Why are you making a big deal out of it and telling everyone? If I decide to do it, I just want to sing and not feel like I’m performing and have to entertain.”

  Penny sn
apped back. “You’re the one making a big deal out of it. It’s a public place. There will be other people there. Why not have them be friendly faces? The whole point is for you to start getting paid to entertain anyway.”

  “But that’s my choice, not yours. I told you, I sing for me. I don’t need you recruiting other people to support me.”

  They went back and forth like this for another twenty minutes. In the end, Penny agreed not to say anything to anyone else, but it was obvious that it was more to end the argument than because she believed it was the right thing to do. I just kept my mouth closed and dealt cards. I’m smart enough not to get in between two women having a difference of opinion. The only resolution that would come out of that would be them turning on me and agreeing I was the bad guy.

  Bill turned up back at the table with a fresh beer and a crisp hundred-dollar bill to buy back in. “Mind if I jump in again?”

  After their bickering, Crystal was happy to have another player at the table. She stood up and moved over to first base, where she preferred to play. It was also farther away from Penny. “Glad to have you back. It’s a good time to shake things up.”

  “Thought you were going home,” Penny said.

  Bill held out his full beer. “It’s still early, and I’m still thirsty. Let’s gamble.”

  When my relief showed up for my next break, Crystal cashed in her chips. “I’ll color up before you take off. I gotta be getting to work.”