Threadbare Volume 1

by Andrew Seiple

  A few more hands later, and silence surrounded him for once in... hours? Something like that. He’d kind of lost track after the third avalanche. But now he felt secure enough to send the Raggedy Men back to their patrols.

  As to the wards, eh, he could get to those later, when he had more enchanting supplies and sanity. As it was, the only ones that were seriously damaged were the ones against demons, and what the hell were the odds that any of those would show up tonight?

  He took another look at Missus Fluffbear’s luck. The odds were entirely too high, he decided. So he had Ah Chairy Mcchairface go fetch him one of his toy golem birds. “We’ll call Mordecai in, just in case,” Caradon said, and blinked as his wisdom went up for the first time in years. “Definitely Mordecai!” he said, scratching out a hasty message and sending the bird on its way.

  *****

  It took a long time, but Threadbare finally found the second Kittyhawk corpse. And it was hard to tell, but he was pretty sure that the light radius of his glow-gleam was shrinking. He hadn’t noticed at first, but now it was down to about two-thirds of what it had been. The minicores had noticed this too, and were pressing in around the edges of the light. Worried, Threadbare rummaged through the completely-picked over corpse, that was nothing but bones and wood and cloth, and pulled out another ball of intestines and a large orange and brown gemstone. Into pockets they went.

  Now where?

  He tapped the dragon, and waved at it. Seconds crawled by, and finally Celia’s voice returned.

  “Sorry, we’re climbing the second mountain and it’s hard... everything’s tough. I leveled again. We’re taking it slow and it’s still risky...”

  “Oh my gods, you’re not even... go towards the second mountain, look for a cave or something. They have to meet up in the middle, near the racket...”

  Threadbare immediately started off towards the second mountain, or where he thought it was. It really was dark down here in the hollow between the peaks, with the sun pretty well blotted out by the high stone cliffs and the trees shadowing what was left.

  And eventually, the woods parted to reveal an outcropping from the mountain, and a cave with a sign nailed into the stone above the opening.

  THIS WAY TO THE CATACOMBS

  “Oh geeze,” Celia said, as the dragon’s head tracked it. “Be careful. It’s going to be undead for certain. Find a club for skel...”

  She fizzed out again.

  “Listen, Dracosnack is about to deanimate, it’s been too long. I can’t watch you after that happens, the Dollseye...”

  “Just do your best! Don’t die!” Her voice was raw. “I love you and you come back to me!”

  Resolute, shining brightly from his little girl’s spell, his dragon hat twitching with every step he took, Threadbare marched into the catacombs. Then he stopped, turned around, and grabbed a heavy tree branch from the forest. He didn’t know why Celia wanted him to bring a club, but he was sure he’d figure it out.

  Then he waddled back in.

  The first section seemed to be a winding collection of corridors, lined with cat skulls in niches to either side. House-cat skeletons ambled out from holes in the walls, and roamed the corridors, pausing to groom themselves with tongues that no longer existed.

  To Threadbare, they reminded him of the skeleton puppet that Celia had animated. They were just something like that, he figured. Oddly enough, he wasn’t too far wrong, though it would be years later before he knew that.

  The teddy bear started toward one cautiously, and sniffed at it. It smelled of dust, and old death. Much like that girl he’d played the card game with, he remembered.

  Your Scents and Sensibility skill is now level 9!

  The skeleton sniffed back, and whatever it smelled the undead didn’t seem to like it much. The cat hissed and pounced on him—

  —and met Threadbare’s treebranch straight to its skull as it came in.

  WHACK!

  Critical Hit!

  The thing bounced back and came for him again, and Threadbare punched it whenever it got in close, and used the tree branch when it backed off. It took a rough minute of scuffling, and its claws swiped him a few times, but eventually it was done and his Clubs and Maces skill was two higher. Threadbare looked at the scratches, and the loose fur hanging off him, and shrugged. Not enough to be worth breaking out the sewing kit.

  He set off down the wide corridor, trying to avoid the skeletons when he could. It was harder than it looked, though they entered and exited the holes in the wall, there wasn’t really any rhyme or reason to it. Twice he got jumped moving through what he thought was an empty patch because a skeleton emerged at the wrong time.

  After the third encounter, he sat down, dug out the sewing kit, and used two of his precious patches to fix most of the damage, and skilling up his tailoring again. He looked down the hall, as far as his light would let him see, and yeah, it was definitely shrinking. He was down to half what he’d started with, he thought. But in that radius, he could see at least six more of the skeletons roaming back and forth.

  There had to be a better way.

  Come to think of it, maybe there was. He studied the hole that the cat skeleton had emerged from. It was just about big enough for him.

  Threadbare poked his head inside, leading with the bobbling dragon head in an effort to tease any hiding kitty remnants into attacking him. Nothing, so he pushed the rest of the way in.

  It didn’t look like much. There was a long passage, winding back to a tiny corridor of its own, and what looked like a ramp going up.

  Up was good! Up was where Celia was!

  Threadbare toddled back that way, leaving the tree branch behind when it wouldn’t fit through the holes.

  He started up the ramp...

  ...and tumbled to the ground, as a cat skeleton pounced on him from above, hissing! Over and over he went, with the creature’s claws flashing at him, ripping against his seams, ripping patches free.

  He fetched up at the bottom with the bony kitty on top of him, jaws around his throat, worrying him—

  —and acting purely on instinct he reached up, wrapped his arms around the cat’s ribs, and hugged.

  Two things happened, so quickly that he barely had time to comprehend them.

  First, golden light flared, and the cat went from hissing to screaming, as black essence boiled out of its eyesockets as a red sixty exploded into the air above it.

  You have healed Bonikitty for 30 points!

  Your Innocent Embrace skill is now level 3!

  The second thing was that he felt way woozier all of a sudden. Though he didn’t know what a headache was, he definitely felt uncomfortable in his noggin region for a bit. Threadbare didn’t know that this was due to the cost of triggering that skill, and that he’d spent fifteen sanity activating it. He definitely didn’t know that standard healing magic interfered with the forces which allowed undead to move and act.

  All he knew was that he’d hurt it somehow, and the skeleton wanted no more of this particular bear. It turned and fled, and Threadbare struggled to his feet, and shook his paw after it.

  After a second to make sure that it wouldn’t come back, and half a minute to dig out his sewing tools and patch himself up, Threadbare turned and continued up the ramp.

  As he went, a green mist started to fill the corridor. It smelled sharp, and unpleasant, so he turned off his nose after his Scents and Sensibility skill went up a level.

  The further he went into it, the more his Golem Body ticked up, too. He gained about three levels of that skill before it stopped reacting to the green haze.

  Eventually the small corridor opened up into a larger room, filled with green, rolling clouds. His golden light made weird patterns on it as he entered, and a shape loomed in the center of the room... some sort of structure or object. He headed that way—

  —and the green haze cleared momentarily to reveal a stone table, and the biggest cat skeleton he’d seen yet, easily twice the size of Cel
ia, crouching on it. Breathstealer the Toxic-kitty stared down at him, and roared, green haze pouring from its skull.

  A green ‘6’ floated up from Threadbare’s noggin, and went unnoticed.

  WILL +1

  Your Stubborn skill is now level 6!

  Threadbare halted, turned around, and ran back towards the hole he’d left, dragon wings flapping in the breeze of his passing, and dragon head flopping on its long neck. But Breathstealer was faster still, leaping in front of him and batting him with a paw, sending him flying across the room as a red ‘28’ tore out of him.

  He ended up somewhere in the haze again, looking around as he got to his feet, and heard bony digits pounding the stone floor once more. Annoyed, he waited until it burst out of the mist and charged it right back, making the massive creature skid to a halt in surprise. Threadbare’s claw swiped right into the side of its jaw...

  Your Brawling skill is now level 11!

  Your Claw Swipes skill is now level 9!

  ...and a ‘4’ floated up into the air.

  Threadbare and Breathstealer watched it go. Then they looked at each other.

  Threadbare bopped it again.

  Your Brawling skill is now level 12!

  Your Claw Swipes skill is now level 10!

  And a ‘3’ drifted off this time.

  Breathstealer didn’t look at all hurt. Annoyed at the feeble attacks, the bony behemoth opened its mouth and roared once more!

  The skill was called Plague Breath...

  ...and just like before, when Threadbare had been fighting the Rat King, it had absolutely no effect on the little golem!

  Your Golem Body skill is now level 14!

  He came sailing out of the cloud, latching onto Breathstealer’s neck just above its head—

  AGL +1

  —And hugged it for all he was worth. He had one trick that worked against these things, and by gods he was going to use it!

  Golden light flashed, a red eighty rolled up, and Breathstealer went apeshit as Theadbare’s innocent embrace literally killed it with kindness. Innocent Embrace was a costly skill, one with a sanity cost that scaled as its healing rose... but the amount of healing it did rose with each skill level gained.

  By the time it was done, three skill ups and a strength bump later, Threadbare was on the ground with a four-alarm headache and nine sanity left, and Breathstealer was a smoldering pile of bones.

  He lay there exhausted for a second, until—

  You are now a Level 8 Toy Golem!

  All Attributes +2!

  You are now a Level 6 Bear!

  CON +5

  STR +5

  WIS +5

  Armor +3

  Endurance +3

  Mental Fortitude +3

  You are now a Level 2 Model!

  AGL +3

  CHA +3

  PER +3

  —Suddenly, Threadbare felt a hell of a lot better. Though he didn’t know it, leveling up refilled his pools... all save for his poor, battered hit points. He sat down and patched his wounds, and as he did the green clouds cleared away. He saw a green, dripping dagger with a curved blade lying on the stone table, right next to another ball of cat intestines. Grabbing them both, he looked around. The haze had dissipated a bit, and there seemed to be an exit ramp, a large one, going up from here. There was another door out, but the handle was way too high up for him to reach, so he decided to give the ramp a try instead.

  While on it, he got another message from Celia. “Testing? Oh thank heavens, you’re alive. I miss you. I miss you so much...”

  “We stopped to rest. It’s rough, it’s so rough, we almost lost Jarrik, but we’re coming for you, okay? We won’t...”

  “This is the last sanity I can spare, then I need to drink up for the next part. You survive, okay? You come back to...”

  Threadbare squared his shoulders and jogged up the ramp, throwing caution to the winds. Up and up and up, waving his new dagger, not caring what lay between him and danger...

  ...until the ramp leveled out, and he burst into a dusty room.

  In the half-reduced light of his glow gleam effect, he could see that it was filled with old furniture, covered in sheets. And every sheet, every alcove, every dusty wardrobe and cloaked chair had bonikitties sitting on it.

  And all of them were watching him. Watching that dragon’s head and wings twitch and bop as he scrambled to a halt.

  Watching and rising, slinking forward, butts wiggling as they readied to pounce—

  “That’s enough now! Let me see who’s come, hmmmm?” An old woman’s voice cracked the silence, as dusty and faded as the room itself.

  Threadbare lowered the dagger. The undead cats settled. For now.

  “Come closer, my dears! Let me have a look at you... hoo hoo hoo!”

  Threadbare paced into the room, and his light showed him the one section of it that wasn’t entirely covered in cats.

  There was a table, set with fine, if dusty china, and a half-translucent old human woman sitting at the head of it. Her frizzy hair stuck out from under a glowing, crooked top hat, and she wore a patchwork dress covered with embroidery showing cats playing, cats sleeping, cats doing all sorts of cat things.

  She was knitting bones. Threadbare watched as she finished knitting spectral strands to old cat’s bones, then once she was done, leaned down to the skull and whispered “Rise...”

  The new bonikitty stood up, shook itself, and the old ghostly lady clapped her hands with glee. “Oh my dear! You’re good as new! Go play, there’s a good boy.” She pointed toward a hole in the wall, and the skeletal feline leaped down, and paced through, disappearing from sight.

  “Now then, I suppose we should get to our... little... fight...” She squinted down at Threadbare, and her jaw dropped open.

  Threadbare waved.

  Your Adorable skill is now level 15!

  “Hoo hoo hoo! Hooo hoooo hooo...” She pounded the table noiselessly with one spectral hand. “Oh my goodness, you’re just the cutest little thing! Well, you’d be cuter if you were a cat. But I suppose nobody’s perfect. Except cats.”

  Beyond her, Threadbare could see a set of stairs. He pointed at them.

  CHA +1

  “Mmm, you want to go through?”

  Threadbare nodded, and she giggled as his dragon hat flopped back and forth.

  “Well, now we’re in a pickle, then. Normally I’m supposed to fight the people who come here. They all deserve it, since they’ve hurt my poor dearies so! But look at you, you wouldn’t hurt a fly, I bet.”

  Threadbare nodded. He’d never had to fight any flies, after all. And they seemed really hard to hit, too.

  “But... Well, the Master never said anything about fighting toys. And if I know you, you’re someone’s toy. Got a little girl to go back to, hm?”

  Threadbare nodded harder, and mimed hugging the air.

  “Well, I tell you what. You do something nice for me, and something nice for my dears, and we’ll let you through.” She pointed at the thirty-some Bonikitties scattered around the room.

  Threadbare nodded, then pointed at the kittens, and shrugged.

  “Well, they like meat, do you have any of that?”

  He shook his head. If he’d brought the jerky from Celia’s pack, maybe, but he hadn’t seen a need for it.

  “Perhaps a toy?”

  He considered, then pulled out a ball of intestines.

  Fortunately for him, the old lady didn’t know much anatomy. “Oh! Yes, that’ll do! Just throw it down the ramp, that’ll keep them from being naughty.”

  He hurled it, and with a meowing, clattering cacophony, the bonikitties rushed after it, following it ALL the way down.

  “Well done! Come up here.” She patted an adjacent chair. “I won’t be so easily appeased, though.”

  Threadbare stood in it, staring up at her, eyes just slightly higher than the table. He pointed at the old lady and shrugged.

  She leaned in and grinned. “To get
past ME without a fight, you’ll have to play my favorite game. Tea party!”

  And if he could have, Threadbare would have smiled.

  Twenty minutes later, and three Charisma points higher, he bowed deeply to the very happy old ghost, and started to walk up the stairs. She’d given him her second-favorite cat blanket as thanks, buttoning it around his neck as a cape. It was embroidered with paws all up and down its length, and very, very dusty. But overall he was happy, and it almost seemed to lighten his step as he walked.

  But not a second later, words flashed up right before his eyes.

  Through repeated peaceful contact with the undead, you have unlocked the Necromancer job!

  Do you want to be a Necromancer at this time? y/n?

  Wow, another word he didn’t know. But job levels made him stronger, so why not?

  You are now a level 1 Necromancer!

  +3 INT

  +3 WILL

  +3 WIS

  You have learned the skill Assess Corpse!

  Your Assess Corpse skill is now level 1!

  You have learned the skill Command the Dead!

  Your Command the Dead skill is now level 1!

  You have learned the skill Soulstone!

  Your Soulstone skill is now level 1!

  You have learned the skill Speak With Dead!

  Your Speak With Dead skill is now level 1!

  You have learned the skill Zombies!

  Your Zombies skill is now level 1!

  The bear shook his head, as ideas burst together, filling and expanding it. Then he ran. As thankfully peaceful as that last room had been, it had eaten up precious time. He needed to find his little girl. He needed to get her out of this place! It was dangerous, he now understood that. Any of those things down below could have seriously hurt her, or worse. What was the upper part of this mountain like, if the secret way was so rough?

  The stairs topped out in a long corridor, broken by stony pillars.... Stalagmites, he knew, though he couldn’t say how. They thinned to sharp, wicked looking points up top, and they were packed in tightly. He picked his way through them, and the ceiling widened up and up until it disappeared.