Gator

by Bijou Hunter

  Her name is Lis and she tells me she has an amazing tongue. I say no more than two words to her while she shares everything with me. We walk to her place nearby and she’s nearly bouncing off the walls. I think she might be high, but mostly she’s excited to fuck someone who doesn’t make her struggle with the urge to vomit.

  “You have any kids?” I ask as we enter her tiny apartment. “You have any family?”

  “No, baby,” she says, reaching for me.

  I dodge her filthy touch. “What was Gidget’s name as a baby?”

  Lis frowns at me. “Are we going to fuck or not? I ain’t looking to walk down memory lane when there’s money to be made.”

  She’s just as vile as I imagined. A little part of me hoped she might show regret over the child she ruined. I even hoped to tell Mia how her mother died with shame in her heart. How her mother did love her even if she never showed it.

  My fingers feel good around the bitch’s throat. Enjoying the panic in her blue eyes, I see how much they look like Mia’s and hate her more for destroying her lookalike child. Lis struggles, clawing at me. Even with a pathetic life, she’s desperate to live. I suspect she knows what awaits her when this life ends.

  Once she’s dead, I rest her on the couch. She looks peaceful and I feel a little guilty to have let her die so easily. Rodent died quickly too. Though they deserved endless torture for their sins against Mia, they got off easy.

  Cleaning the apartment, I have more death on my mind.

  Mia said his name was Patrick and he lives only a few blocks away in the building Mia once called home. The man doesn’t realize he will die soon for hurting her in a way I can never heal. No amount of love or care will fix what he did to her brain. He treated her like an animal and I plan to put him down.

  Leaving behind the cleaned apartment, I move steadily to my next destination. I know he’ll be home. Fate is on my side and vengeance belongs to Mia. She needs this even if she can’t understand just yet. So desperate for comfort, she doesn’t think of revenge. One day, she’ll be happy for the spilt blood.

  Patrick’s not what I expect. When he opens the door, I find a fairly soft looking man. The kind I never think twice about when I see them on the street. He’s blond and freckled. Harmless in every way except to a helpless Mia who couldn’t tell him no.

  When I push him inside the room, he barely reacts. He’s scared and I don’t blame him. I’m exactly the kind of man I worry about on the street. The hard scarred man with cold eyes. I imagine what he sees on my face and smile at his fear. His doughy hands once harmed Mia and he suffered nothing for his crimes. Today, I am Death and his time in this world is over.

  He struggles against the gag as his bones shatter under my fists. Killing him is so easy. All through the beating, I whisper to him why he’s suffering. Mia is why he must die. This is no accident. No random crime. He committed violence against a child and broke her, so she would remain a child forever. Now, violence came for him in the form of a man on a mission.

  I want more than his death. Much like with Lis, I feel unsatisfied because there is no way to fix what they did to Mia. No way to return her childhood or restore her innocence. Yes, I can keep them from harming others. Yes, I can tell my woman those who tormented her are dead. While I can do these things, there are limits to the power of my wrath.

  Just like years ago in the swamps when I killed my father, I realized he might die a million times and it would never be enough. What he stole from me couldn’t find relief.

  Dougie James made me into a man capable of killing his father. His death wasn’t the end or the beginning, only a symptom of my evolution after being raised by evil. Much like Mia will never be more than the broken women I love because evil claimed her too.

  The apartment Mia called home burns to the ground. Watching the fire for a long time, I finally accept how much I miss Mia. My vengeance leaves me wanting in a way only she can satisfy.

  I need to see her needy gaze. Feel her lips on mine. Hear her sigh when she’s in my arms. The world is too fucking ugly and I feel the past ruining my future. Only Mia can save me.

  26 Spent Shells

  Gator

  Mia is on the balcony when I arrive. At the sound of the door closing, she hurries to me. My whirlwind of emotions demands an outlet and the warmth in her expression causes my control to slip.

  When I lift her into my arms, she gasps at the roughness of my touch. Instead of flinching away, she touches the scar down my face. The feel of her cool fingers eats away at more of my control. Quickly, I have her on the bed with her shorts and panties on the ground.

  Mia stares at me, half afraid, half enthralled. She only caresses my face while I struggle to undress her. My fingers find her barely aroused. I want her now and know she won’t complain if I take her when she’s unprepared. Only the memory of the freak I killed and how she never complained for him either prevents me from shoving my cock inside her.

  As I struggle with her bra, a giggling Mia plays with my hair. I don’t think I can wait much longer. Shoving up her shirt and bra, I grip her tits too roughly. Mia doesn’t stop me. Instead, she twirls my hair in her delicate fingers.

  When I suck hard on her soft nipples, Mia gasps and her fingers tighten on my hair. She makes a strangled sigh then I feel her feet up around my hips. I know she wants me closer, but I can’t tolerate the heat of her pussy. She’s not ready and I’m past waiting.

  Her nipples respond even to such rough stimulation and I press the head of my cock against the soft wet flesh between her legs. She stares wide-eyed at me and I pause.

  “Say the words,” I growl, barely in control.

  “I’m yours.”

  My hands hold her throat as I stare into her eyes and beg her to understand. “The other words.”

  Mia’s eyes flicker around my face. I don’t think she knows what I need until she says them in a voice like the wind.

  “I love you.”

  My control snaps and I shove myself into her until she can’t take more. Mia gasps, but her fingers still play with my hair. Sighing, I rest on top of her and try to explain. The city eats at what good remains in me. I need to leave this place, but my works isn’t done. Afraid and angry, I know only she offers me a reprieve.

  Smiling, Mia wiggles her hips under mine. She’s ready, but I don’t know if I could stop even if she wasn’t.

  A man possessed, I prop my body over hers and stare into her eyes as I thrust. Mia holds my gaze while her hands grip my forearms. As I fuck her, I’m less man than a beast. An animal with only one need. I take and give her nothing. Even mesmerized by her fair eyes, I can’t offer her anything. No words of warmth. No pleasure either. I fuck for me and she is only my outlet. The only outlet that will satisfy.

  The small part of me still a man cares for Mia and notices the way she stares. Her eyes are so big like she’s amazed or horrified. Not afraid though. I don’t blame her if she is. Her body can’t keep up with the way I fuck and she only holds on until I’m done.

  Barely sated, I need more. I need everything she has to offer, but I fear her reaction. No longer the hero, I’ve become the monster she fears in the dark.

  “It’s okay,” she whispers as I catch my breath while still propped over her. “You’re safe.”

  Once my lips find hers, Mia’s arms wrap around me immediately. She understands because she’s mine. It makes no sense and I don’t care. She knows my heart and mind. She sees the darkness inside my heart and still smiles like basking in the sun. Mia is my savior and I need to free her from this city and the evil wanting to swallow us both.

  “I killed your mother,” I whisper.

  “Some people need killing.”

  Staring into her eyes, I force the words free. “I love you.”

  “You’ve never loved anyone who hasn’t hurt you. I won’t hurt you, Jake.”

  My fear fades a little at how quickly she embraces what I’ve told her. “Your love is good.”

  “So
is yours. You saved me.”

  “I need to get out of here.”

  “Then, let’s go.”

  “I need to kill Carz first.”

  Mia cups my face. “Then, kill him. Nothing is keeping us here. Wherever you are is where my home is. Let’s just do what needs to be done and go.”

  I smile at how simple she makes it sound. She’s right too. Carz is a weak man and I am not. I need to finish this job and leave the city before it destroys everything good inside me and leaves nothing for Mia.

  27 Spent Shells

  Mia

  As we arrive at the alley where Vic last licked his lips, I crawl into the backseat like Jake wants. He’s edgy, but my mind is on Disneyland. When he said we would stop there before flying to Nicaragua, I cried with excitement and started making plans. One of them is to get Jake to wear a Mickey Mouse hat with the ears. He’ll complain, but the little boy inside him needs that silly hat.

  “Stay down and hold this just in case,” Jake says, handing me a gun.

  “I love you.”

  Jake frowns at me. He wants me to be quiet while the killer in him does what he does best. I’m not supposed to love that part of him, but I do. The killer part destroyed Rodent and freed me from hell. I think I might love that part of Jake the most.

  “If shit goes south,” he said, glaring out the window, “you kill whoever you have to and get out of here.”

  “Carz is a loser. No way does it go south.”

  “He’s paranoid. It’s why he wants you dead.”

  “Do you love me?” I ask and he rolls his eyes. He likes to act angry, but I see him relax a little around the shoulders. Angry is easy for him. A man in love is trickier. I don’t care. I still want to say the words.

  Jake climbs out of the car, slams the door, and leans against the hood. His gun sticks out of the back of his pants and I look at the one he handed me. It’s big and I know it’ll have a kick. Jake showed me how to load the Ruger, but we never practiced firing it. As I hide in the backseat, I suspect I’ll find out about the kick today.

  The passenger window is open and I look out of it as Carz arrives in his big red car. He has a new bodyguard with him. I assume the old one is dead and I’m glad. The old one was a jerk. I bet the new one is too.

  “Gator,” Carz says, rubbing the wrinkles out of his red track suit. “You got the job done as usual.”

  “Where’s my money?”

  “You come alone?” Carz asks and I know he’s up to no good. Jake knows too.

  “If you didn’t bring my money…” Jake says without finishing his threat.

  The new guy tries to look bigger to intimidate Jake. It’s no use. The new guy is super muscular, but he can barely move with his bulk. Jake’s muscles are leaner. He’s fast and strong. I can tell the new guy is worried and he should be.

  “I don’t like loose ends,” Carz says, grinning like a fool from behind his big sunglasses. “You understand.”

  Showing no sign he understands, Jake glances at the new guy. “If you kill him, I’ll let you take over his business. You can get rich while I dump his body and disappear. Or you can wait until you’re the loose end.”

  When the new guy glances between his boss and Jake, I point my gun at him. I hope he’ll be smart and kill Carz. Instead, he pulls his gun on Jake.

  I fire once and the kick nearly causes me to drop the gun. The bullet tears open the new guy’s stomach and he staggers back. Jake pulls his gun and fires again into the wounded man’s face. Just like that, Carz is alone with a paid killer he planned to screw over.

  Acting like he wants to disappear, Carz stays quiet. I remember the many times I was at the mercy of stronger people. Being as quiet as possible, I’d pray they forgot I was there. Now, Carz knows what it’s like to fear.

  “Mia, come out,” Jake says, holding his gun at his side.

  Carz doesn’t move for a weapon, instead thinking of how to talk his way out of trouble.

  “I have the money,” he says as I climb out of the SUV. “It’s in my car.” When Carz sees me, he smirks at Jake who remains stony-faced. “I didn’t realize you were a sucker for blowjobs.”

  Jake finally moves and kicks Carz’s chubby legs out from under him. The bastard falls while Jake holds out a hand for me to join him. I walk to where Carz glares at me.

  “She’s playing you, Gator. Did she pull the stupid routine? It’s a con, man.”

  “What the fuck is with everyone calling me ‘man?’” Jake growls and I almost laugh.

  “She’ll kill you next,” Carz tells Jake who steps behind me.

  “This piece of shit,” Jake says, “is every man that ever hurt you. He’s every time you went to bed hungry. Every time you cried. Every time you suffered. It’s time to get your revenge.”

  Jake slides his gun into my hand and lifts it to point at Carz’s face. I know what he wants. While I’d be happy just to leave the city and live my life with Jake, he needs vengeance.

  When I pull the trigger, I don’t think of me crying and suffering. I think of Jake as a boy alone in a dirty place where no one loved or cared for him. I imagine him desperate for a hug, a meal, anything good in his otherwise miserable life. I pull the trigger and give Jake the vengeance he needs.

  28 Spent Shells

  Gator

  Mia and I return to the hotel to pack for our flight out of this shithole. We’re heading to Anaheim where we’ll enjoy Disneyland. I’ll also pick up Mia’s new paperwork. A birth certificate, passport, driver’s license, everything she needs to be Mia James. Idget Gidget is dead.

  “How did you know I would shoot that man and he wouldn’t shoot you first?” Mia asks, having packed her precious snow globes in a special box the concierge provided.

  “I didn’t,” I say. “If you didn’t get to him in time, I would have. I’m just that fast.”

  Smiling, Mia adds her doll to the bag. She doesn’t carry it as much now. The days of having only a toy to comfort her are over. Mia has me now.

  “I love you,” she says, wrapping her arms around my waist. “Gator and Jake and anyone else you might be. I love you and I’m glad you love me too.”

  She’s an angel in my arms and I can’t help smiling. “I love you and I’m never letting you go.”

  Mia lifts up on her tippy toes to kiss me and my hunger steals her breath away. Instead of carrying her to bed, I walk to my phone and search for a song. Finding Sammy Davis Jr. singing I Dream a Dream, I rest the phone on the desk. Mia watches me like she always does. Like she’s been in the dark too long and I’m a light beckoning her towards freedom.

  “Devil Doyle talked me into taking a dance class,” I say, spinning around. “Said it would help with my finesse. Said killing was more than being a tank breaking down walls.”

  Much like back in the classes, I feel like a fool when I dance. As soon as Mia smiles, my embarrassment is worth it. Her eyes shining, she watches me slide and spin towards her.

  “I can’t dance.”

  “You’re the girl,” I say softly while taking her hands. “All you need to do is look pretty.”

  Mia looks up at me and I know the chains of my past are finally broken. Leaving the swamp never truly freed me, yet now I feel the weight of the past easing off my shoulders.

  Taking her hands in mine, I tell her to place her bare feet over my booted ones. I move slowly around the room, spinning her gently so she doesn’t panic. She relaxes because I’m in control. My woman trusts me. For the first time, I know she should.

  “When we get to Nicaragua, you’ll be overwhelmed,” I say as she stares into my eyes. “It’ll be so different from what you’ve ever known. You won’t know the language and you’ll feel like an outsider. I know you will because I did too.”

  Mia’s gaze reveals her fear of the unknown. Still holding one hand, I use my free hand to cup her face.

  “You and me can be anyone there. I’m no longer the swamp rat. You’re no longer the child whore. No more Gidget. No more
Gator. We can be Jake and Mia and have anything we want.”

  I kiss Mia as gently as I can and she smiles while our lips touch. She believes in the dream too.

  “You’ll learn to speak the language,” I promise her. “I picked up some stuff quick because it’s all I heard. People will think we’re different because we’re foreign. Not because of what our parents made us. Only you and I will know the truth and that is all in the past.”

  Mia uses her free hand to caress my chest. She’s smiling like the past is releasing her too.

  “Our days will be spent in the warm sun. We can look out at the ocean and it’ll swallow up the pain of what came before. Everything will be new. Our new home, together in paradise will give us rebirth. It’s why I found you now. I’m ready to start again and I need someone to go with me. Someone who understands what I am, but loves me anyway.”

  “I do love you,” she whispers, her eyes as clear as a spring day.

  “We’ll make a new life and we’ll never bow to others. Never bleed for them either. Our lives will belong to us and we’ll be free.”

  “Together,” she says, wrapping her arms around my waist and resting her head where her hand once caressed.

  “You’re mine and I’m never letting you go,” I say, believing my words more each time I say them.

  Sighing, Mia wraps her arms tighter around me. “I didn’t wake up from the dream. This is real and I’m really yours.”

  The song ends and a new one begins, but we hear none of it. We’re no longer in this horrid city. Our hearts dream of the paradise waiting for us and our minds follow.