An Outlaw to Protect Her

by Harper St. George

  “I suppose it doesn’t, but I’m more concerned about what makes sense for your safety.”

  “I can’t let my business fail because I’m worried about my safety.”

  “Do you really think the House will fail if you take a few days to lay low?”

  She honestly didn’t know what to think. Aside from the occasional ailment that had her taking a nap during the afternoon before the crowds started, she’d never taken any time away from her work. This past week had been the least amount of attention she’d ever given the place. Victoria House was the focus of...well, everything in her life.

  “I don’t know. It might.” It was a lame argument, but it was all she had.

  When he didn’t answer right away, she looked back up at him to see a smile pulling at the corners of his lips.

  “You find that funny?” she asked.

  He shook his head and carved off another bite-sized portion of meat, smile firmly in place. “You wouldn’t know what to do with yourself anyway.”

  Something about the way he said that ruffled her. “That’s not true. I have my books.” She motioned toward the small corner shelf currently stocked with about a dozen books. She’d already read them, but kept them to pass around to her ladies who liked to pass their time reading. Despite the fact that she’d donated to the local library and had been involved in getting the vote to the ballot to change the library from subscription to free, she didn’t feel comfortable walking into the place. She either sent Charlotte or she ordered her books, which could sometimes take months to arrive.

  “And...” Her voice trailed off as she looked around her parlor. Even she had to admit that she didn’t have much to do. Without the twins and the boardinghouse, her business and her advocacy work, she had nothing. “Fine. You’ve made your point.”

  He laughed and she kicked him under the table. On one hand, she could see the humor, but on the other hand, it was a keen reminder of what she didn’t have. A fresh ache welled in her chest as she remembered the domestic scene at the Jameson town home from yesterday. She’d probably never have that rich home life with a family. For years she’d been telling herself she was fine with that, but she really wasn’t and she didn’t know if she ever would be.

  “Ouch!” He scowled at her and made a show of rubbing his leg.

  “Serves you right.” She sniffed and pushed some stewed carrots around on her plate. “You shouldn’t tease me.”

  “Maybe I like teasing you.” He said it with that certain timbre in his voice, that soft husk that prickled her skin and made it feel like he was caressing her with his words. His eyes were playful but somehow still held that intensity that she found so alluring with him. It was as if she was the entirety of his focus.

  Maybe I like it when you do. That’s what she wanted to say, but she didn’t, even though the butterflies that constantly swarmed her belly when he was around had started batting their wings. She opened her mouth, but found her throat too dry to speak, so she had to swallow several times.

  A blush stained her cheeks. He had her so turned around, and she wasn’t sure how he felt about her. He was always teasing and he’d been quick to comfort her this morning when she’d needed it, but he also seemed to keep his distance. A sound on the roof interrupted her before she could respond and make a cake of herself.

  “Is that a man on the roof?” It had sounded like heavy footsteps, making her pulse race as she imagined all kinds of scenarios that involved Justin coming into her room through her window.

  “That’s one of the things I wanted to talk to you about. We’ve got a man stationed on the roof twenty-four hours a day. He should be able to see anyone coming and going, and he’ll sound the alarm if he sees Dubose. I have a man on the roof of the general store down the street too. Able helped me with a drawing of Dubose, and they’ve all seen it. Obviously he’s likely to have aged since Able last saw him, but it’s the best we have. As we discussed yesterday, we have someone at the train station and a man at each entrance to the House.”

  “I doubt a gunslinger hanging outside my front door will be good for business.”

  “Neither will Dubose getting inside the House.”

  He made a good point. “Touché.”

  He grinned and tossed his last bite into his mouth. When he’d finished chewing he said, “Since we’ve closed up the boardinghouse, Able’s moving in here. It’ll be easier to keep watch if everyone is under one roof.”

  The way he paused and stared at her with his brow furrowed made her think there was more. She nodded to encourage him.

  “Since Clara is at the Jameson ranch, he could stay here in your suite if you prefer.” He said it as if she’d missed the obvious conclusion. “I could go back to my room.”

  She didn’t want Zane to go back to his room. She very much wanted him to stay here, but only if he wanted to stay here. Why was she such a ninny when it came to him? She blinked to break his stare and regain some of her equilibrium. “Would you like to move back to your room?”

  There. She’d leave the decision up to him. It would tell her if he saw something for them or if he’d rather go back to how things had been before they’d spent the night in bed, because she, inexplicably, couldn’t come straight out and ask him. Annoyed with herself, she took a drink of water.

  “Do you want me to?”

  She wasn’t certain if he was toying with her or if he was as anxious about their arrangement as she was. Either way, she decided it was time to get everything on the table once and for all. She wasn’t this wary a person, and she didn’t want to be that way with him. Not anymore.

  “I want you to stay...” She let her voice trail off to gauge his reaction. She thought she saw a little flare of relief along with something else that she couldn’t name. That something else left her wary, but she pressed onward. It was time to confront what was between them. In for a penny, in for a pound.

  “In there.” She nodded toward her bedroom, gripping her hands together in her lap so hard that she was certain her fingers had probably lost their color, but she couldn’t remove her eyes from him to check. And she couldn’t loosen her hold, not until he answered her.

  He looked from her to the door and back again. His eyes had gone wide but now they narrowed at her, extinguishing any hint of his earlier teasing humor. His jaw was tight, his shoulders tense. “I don’t want to rush you, and I can’t promise a future.”

  “I know. With...” She didn’t want to say Justin’s name. It had no place in this room, not right now. “With the immediate future so uncertain, maybe it’s best to live for now.” She so wanted to live instead of simply surviving.

  His eyes flared and he sucked in a deep breath as his gaze went to her lips. She wet them on impulse. “Are you saying that you want more than what happened the other night?”

  Her stomach tilted and whirled, and she couldn’t believe they were even having this conversation. The fact of the matter was that she didn’t know if anything more than kissing and touching was possible for her. But she’d never even been willing to try before now. A week ago she’d have thought it was impossible, but now anything felt possible with him.

  Because of Zane. Because she loved the way he made her feel when he was around, whether he was kissing her or not. Though she especially loved the kissing. She’d regret it for the rest of her life if she allowed this distance to grow between them and didn’t at least reach out and try to see what could happen with them. He was special to her. In her whole life she’d never met anyone who made her feel like he made her feel and that was something.

  “I’m not sure. I know that doesn’t sound fair, but the truth is I’m not really certain what I mean.” She shrugged. “Maybe we could see what happens.”

  He took a minute, sitting there in his chair with his gaze roving over her face. She’d have given anything to know what he was thinking. Thankfully, she didn�
��t have to wait long. Her heart sped up again when he pushed back from the table and got to his feet. He slowly walked around to her and extended his hand.

  “I’ve spent the past week trying and failing to keep myself away from you. I can’t do it anymore.” One corner of his lips tipped upward and heat flared in his eyes. “Let’s go see what happens.”

  She couldn’t breathe as she put her hand in his. Closing his fingers around hers, he pulled her to her feet. “Before we go...there’s something I need to tell you.” She hadn’t mentioned it last night because she hadn’t been sure it would matter. Her throat went dry and she swallowed a few times. Her tongue suddenly felt like cotton in her mouth.

  He brought a hand to her cheek in a move that had quickly become familiar to her. She loved when he stroked her like that. It somehow managed to say, “You’re safe,” and “I accept you,” at the same time.

  Her expression must have been as terrified as she felt, because he said, “Whatever it is, it won’t change tonight.”

  “Promise?”

  “Promise. Tell me.”

  “I have a scar.” She did her best to never look at it, because it was a stark reminder of all that had been taken from her. The only reason she was bringing it up now was because he’d probably see it and she didn’t want it to ruin anything. Maybe she could hide it from him, but she wasn’t sure. It was best to tell him now. If he didn’t want to continue, then she’d rather know now than later.

  The corner of his mouth tipped up again. “I have several. You can’t think I’d care about that.”

  She shook her head. This wasn’t coming out quite right. “It’s from that night...” Her stomach churned. This was a bad idea. Why had she ever thought that she could do this? She didn’t want to mention the pregnancy, so she said, “The night I was pushed down the stairs.”

  “Hey.” His arms went around her waist, encircling her and making her feel safe. “You’re here now. I’ve got you.”

  Such a small statement, but it somehow gave her the strength to keep going. She had the memories, but she didn’t have to get taken back to that place. She was here. Zane was here. She liked here. The pressure that had started squeezing her chest eased up and she could breathe again. “There was a problem and...well, I have a scar from the procedure the doctor performed to get th-the baby out.” It had also ensured that she’d never bear another child. Dubose had seen to it.

  She watched his face carefully for some change in his expression, but nothing happened. He must be an excellent poker player. She regretted telling him already. Not because she didn’t want him to know, but because she’d completely ruined the moment. Who would want her after that confession? She should’ve simply tried to keep it hidden. “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be sorry.” He held her tight against him and dropped light kisses on her cheeks, her forehead, her chin and finally her lips. “But I’ll ask you again, did you think I would care about a scar? It doesn’t change that I want you.”

  She had thought it would change things. She realized that she’d expected him to pull away. There were plenty of women who weren’t scarred, and he could probably have any one of them. She hadn’t realized how utterly ridiculous that sounded until she found herself almost saying that to him. “It seems minor when you put it that way.”

  “I know it’s not minor to you, but I want you, Glory, you and your scars.”

  The air around them had changed, charged with an energy that seemed to draw them together. Without even quite realizing how it had happened, her body was against his and he was lifting her into his arms. He was strong and solid, and she was happy that, while she felt anxious because this was new and exciting, there wasn’t an ounce of fear in her. Desire left no room for that.

  Desire and a sneaking suspicion that she’d allowed her heart into the mix. But as she looped her arms around his shoulders and brought his mouth down for a kiss, it didn’t feel wrong or dangerous. It felt exactly right.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Zane held her tight as he released her legs, letting them slide down his body in a smooth glide that left his blood rushing through his veins. He couldn’t stop staring down at her. The elegant sweep of her cheekbones, the perfect fullness of her lips and the intoxicating look in her hazel eyes. He knew that look. Christine had given him that look, which is why her betrayal had ripped his heart out.

  He could’ve better dealt with the fact that she hadn’t loved him after all. That their relationship had been built on lust he’d mistaken for love. It would’ve been easier to handle when she’d left him broken and bleeding in the dirt. But that hadn’t been the case. She’d loved him. He’d seen it her eyes and felt it in her touch. The simple truth was that she’d chosen something else over him.

  The pad of his thumb traced over Glory’s brow as he saw an echo of that look in her eyes. She was falling in love with him. He swallowed thickly, aware that his hand held a slight tremor as he touched her. She closed her eyes and leaned into his caress, a soft sound at the back of her throat letting him know how much she enjoyed being touched by him. They’d agreed not to talk about the future, but he couldn’t go further with her until he was certain that she understood.

  “Glory?”

  “Mmm...” She opened her eyes and there was that look again. Warm and open and trusting and part of him wanted that, reveled in it even; but, with that longing came dread and certainty that they were headed for a cliff and the inevitable fall.

  “I need you to know that this...” He broke off and had to swallow again past a tongue gone thick and clumsy with all the things he didn’t know how to say. “I can’t promise you more than tonight. Hell, we both know I can’t even promise you tomorrow.”

  She gave him a slow nod, her teeth working her bottom lip. “You make me feel like no one ever has, Zane. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life regretting not holding on to this moment. We both know tomorrow isn’t certain. But tonight can be.”

  He wanted to crush her against him, but holding her was like holding something very precious. He didn’t want to chance breaking her, so he very slowly and with infinite tenderness brought his lips to hers. She opened beneath him, enthusiastically deepening the kiss, and he was lost. All his careful intentions fell to the wayside. She tasted so sweet and good that he drank from her lips, wanting more.

  She groaned in the back of her throat, a sound that moved through him, thickening his blood and driving it south. He held her closer, but it wasn’t close enough. Suddenly her gown was too much, he wanted her naked and beneath him. His hands tightened at her waist as he held her flush against him, the hard steel of his arousal pressing into her soft belly. Hard where she was soft. Rough where she was smooth. The differences between them begged to be explored.

  Breaking the kiss enough to take a deep breath and calm himself down, he looked down at her. To his surprise she gave him a coy smile.

  “I want to see you without your shirt again. I didn’t get to touch you last time.”

  He grinned, amazed and in awe of the beautiful woman before him. She was a contradiction of eagerness and hesitancy. His fingers were already on the buttons of his shirt before he’d even realized he’d moved, so he had to remind himself to go slow and let her set the pace. He was the luckiest man alive right now that she was letting him in and allowing him to show her how good things could be between a man and a woman.

  Without looking to see where it would fall, he tossed his shirt to the side. His chest swelled with an emotion he couldn’t be bothered to name as her gaze raked over him hungrily. Gently taking her hand, he brought it to his chest. Her teeth tugged at her soft bottom lip as she ran both palms over him, making him want to take her lips again. So he did.

  Her hands gently squeezed his chest muscles as she opened for him, allowing his tongue to delve inside and taste her sweetness. He wanted to taste her everywhere, but he’d tak
e what he could get for now. As they kissed, she explored him. His chest, his back, the planes of his stomach. Her fingers stopped at the top button on his pants.

  “Go ahead.” His voice was a breathless whisper when he pulled back.

  She hesitated. Her fingers traced over his skin, making everything in him tighten and burn with need. Slowly so that she could tell him to stop if she wanted, he reached for his pants, his fingers finding hers at the button. Very gently he popped it open. She took in a harsh breath, but she didn’t draw away. Instead, he felt her fingertips tracing over his belly, playing in the light matting of fur that led down into his pants.

  Gritting his teeth against the pleasure, he stood there for her, letting her explore him. He was throbbing, needing her to touch him, wanting to be buried inside her, so he closed his eyes and thought of anything but her soft hands playing over his skin.

  “You’re so beautiful,” she whispered.

  He grinned. “I’ve been called a lot of things, but never that.”

  She smiled up at him. “Well, then, that’s a travesty. It’s true.” Her eyes roamed over his torso in appreciation and her hands followed as if she couldn’t get enough of touching him. The fingers of one hand traced over his shoulder, the one with the scar. “What happened?”

  He wanted to shrug off the question, but the way she looked at him as she asked, her eyes so solemn and knowing, he couldn’t. She looked at him not as a marvel, but as someone who carried scars of her own. Someone who’d been through the worst life could offer and just might be able to understand. It wasn’t even a conscious thought, but he found himself telling her. “It’s a lash from a whip.”

  She gasped, but she didn’t pull her hand away. Her fingertips traced it up and down his shoulder before moving up to his face. He’d never allowed a woman to touch his scar before. That horrible night had been too fresh and vivid in his mind for too long. But he found himself leaning into her touch.

  “This is the same type of scar,” she whispered, her fingertip tracing over his brow.