by Kimi Flores
I checked the mushroom and burrata lasagnette that was baking in the oven, then stuck my finger in the air. “Hold on.” With a pain in my chest, I strolled to the doorway, speaking to my dad while pointing to the large barn doors attached to the wall. “Dad, I’m going to close these so we don’t disturb your program.”
He waved his hand in the air in an ‘okay’ gesture before turning back to the TV.
Josh wrinkled his brows. “What is going on?”
Sliding the doors shut, I said, “Have a seat.” I joined him at the dining table. “Dad’s been having a rough time lately.” I watched Josh’s face turn intense, concentrating on every word I was about to say. “I thought it was his insulin, but earlier last week he had an episode that freaked me the hell out. If it hadn’t been for Dani, I don’t know what would've happened.”
He sat up taller, looking upset. “Last week? What happened and why haven't you said anything before now?”
I lowered my voice and told him everything, from Dad escaping to thinking he was back in the sixties, to the cops showing up and Dani calming him down. “I haven’t wanted to face the truth.” Resting my elbow on the table I braced my forehead on my fingertips. “He was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s a few days ago.”
Shocked, Josh sat back, silent as though he was repeating my words in his head until the meaning finally sunk in. Placing his hand behind his neck, he looked up at the ceiling, exhaling, “Fuuuck.”
“I know.” That heaviness was still in my chest, but I was also relieved now that Josh knew.
“Is there a cure?” The trace of optimism that laced his words was not lost on me. We had always believed that, if there was a loophole or quick fix to any problem, he and I were the kings of finding it.
“Nope. There are some medications on the market that help slow down the progression and homeopathic therapies that can help keep him calm, but that’s all for now.” I tried to sound more resolved in my acceptance of it all, but I felt my words come from a sense of defeat.
“How often does he hallucinate?”
I knew part of the reason he was upset was because I hadn’t said anything to him until now. “It normally only happens at night. I really thought it was his sugar levels, but Dani gave him a complete physical. Besides the usual stuff that goes on at his age, everything looked fine. Then we had him meet with the physician who gave us the diagnosis.”
Josh and I might not have been blood related but we’d been best-friends since our teens and could read each other with ease. And the vibe he was putting off told me he was not happy with my answer. “Dani hasn’t been here very long. You’ve been taking care of him by yourself all this time? Why didn’t you ask me for help?” He slammed his open hand down on the table. “Dammit, Zachary! Why do you insist on doing everything yourself? We’re family.”
I figured he would feel this way, but witnessing it was yet another level of how I had failed. I understood his anger. It had been one of my go-to emotions lately, and he’d had every right to know what was going on.
“I’m sorry,” I finally said. “I was trying to take care of him by myself. I owe him everything.” Raising my head so he could see my sincerity, I continued, “And you’re still adjusting to having a newborn. Maybe I should’ve called you earlier, but understand it wasn’t because I don’t need you or want you involved. It was because you finally have the happiness you deserve. I didn’t want to dampen it with this news until I was sure of what we were facing.”
His tone softened. “I know how you feel about Uncle Joel, but I’m here to help. We’re partners in crime through the fun shit and the fucked up stuff. That hasn’t changed just because I’m married and have a child. Yes, Elle has changed things for me, but I’ve got Bri to help balance everything.”
Feeling myself unravel, I released the burden I finally accepted that it wasn’t mine to carry alone. “I was doing fine, but once it became overwhelming, that’s when I asked Dani to work here full time.”
He shook his head like he was even more disappointed in me. “And here I thought you’d invited her to stay here because you finally pulled your head out of your ass after she’d been hurt.”
“Smartass.” I stood and backhanded his chest. “It’s not just her who’s working with him. Some of her other nurses also help out.”
He held up his hands in a surrendering gesture. “Okay maybe that’s a conversation for another day then.”
“Or not.” I cocked my eyebrow.
“Fine, whatever, but we need a game plan for Uncle Joel.” He gave me that nonverbal confirmation that said he was just as much a part of this as I was. “And I’m sure this is difficult for Dani, too, so we’ll call in Bri and Leah to help out. Stefen can deal with any legal issues that we’ll need to be address. What does the doctor want to do? Can we keep Uncle Joel here? Because there’s no way in hell I want him rotting away in one of those fucking nursing homes.”
His ‘kick ass now and take names later’ attitude filled me with a sense of empowerment that I hadn’t felt until now. We had this under control; the boys were back in town.
He ran his hand down his face. “How is he taking the news?”
A little of that empowerment fizzled. “I haven't told him.” And I wasn’t sure I ever wanted to.
“Why not?” He glowered at me. “If we’re going to fight this, we need him on board.”
I sighed. “What good would it do? There aren’t any treatments, and the last thing I want is for him to feel depressed and hopeless. Our game plan, as you call it, is to keep him safe, involved in life, and comfortable for as long as we can.”
Josh thought about that for a moment. “What does he say when he comes out of a delusion?”
I shrugged. “He doesn’t normally remember them. The few he has remembered have been pleasant, and he’ll tell the stories over and over like they were memories instead of hallucinations. The doctor said it's up to us if we tell him or not. From what Dani said, some patients are relieved to know why they feel so crazy, while it can send others into a tailspin. Dad isn’t bothered or even aware of his symptoms, and I kind of want to keep it that way. Plus, he’s so old school in his thinking and doesn’t trust doctors. I think he would just deny everything. Maybe we can refer to it as memory loss or something, but I’m open to hearing what you, your mom, dad, and Bradly have to say.”
Although we’d referred to each other as cousins, technically Josh and his brother, Bradly were my second cousins since their mom was Dad’s niece. Even though they’d all accepted me as family before my adoption was official, I felt like she had as big of a say in this as I did.
Lowering his head, Josh said, “Oh shit, I am going to have to tell them. Man, this is tough.”
In a way, I was relieved he planned to tell them himself. But just like he was here for me now, I had to be there for him. “We can tell them together.”
“Nah. I got this one. You’ve had enough on your plate.”
I released a long breath, thankful for the millionth time that I’d been adopted into this supportive family. It was going to be a struggle but I still had to work on my tendency to isolate myself when things got tough. But I had a feeling with Dani so entangled in my life, that wasn’t going to be a go to option for me any longer.
And I was starting to be okay with that.
Chapter Ten
Dani
The villa was quiet as Zachary took a seat on the sofa next to me. His hair was still damp from the shower he’d taken before coming over.
God, he smelled so good.
Despite his request for us to just be friends, my body couldn’t help but respond when he was so close, smelling as delicious as he did.
I had no intention on trying to persuade him away from his resolve, but I’d decided to put my pregnancy plans on hold until we got Joel settled. The last thing I needed to be dealing with right now was morning sickness. Plus, he and his dad were part of my family in a sense, and this was where I wanted to be right now.
Each night, I’d try to find new comedies for us to watch, or have extra doggie treats so we could teach our lazy pups to do tricks. Buddy was at least willing to give it a shot while Stella would sit there and refuse to beg for her treat.
The last time we tried it with her, Zachary had gotten down on the floor and was trying to reason with her that it wasn’t an affront to her dignity to sit for a treat. She just kept her head turned away, ignoring him as if he were spouting nonsense.
We’d both laughed so hard that night, we were rolling around on the floor, which ended in a wrestling match until Buddy, who I’d referred to as the fun police, had had enough waiting and demanded more attention.
For the last few weeks, I’d been blown away at how remarkable Zachary was doing at balancing everything with his dad and the business. There were still moments when I’d remind him that it was okay to feel vulnerable with me.
That’s why I invited him over to the villa alone tonight. I’d made sure to schedule one of the other nurses to take care of Joel. I purposely chose Liv since she specialized in animal therapy. It was a good way for Stella and Buddy to play a part in helping Joel while she was in charge tonight. Both had become more protective and watchful over him.
Reaching forward, Zachary picked up one of the empty wine glasses from my coffee table and stretched his arm out, attempting to see what the wording said.
He squinted as he read the decal. “For medicinal purposes.”
“Wow, someone needs some reading glasses,” I snickered.
He narrowed his eyes at me, jokingly. “I have some but left them at home.”
I’d seen them on him countless times and, hot damn, did they make him look even more gorgeous. “Turn it around and look at the other side.” I propped my elbow on the back of the couch.
His eyes filled with amusement when he saw the measurement lines. The top warned, ‘Don’t even ask’, the middle said, ‘Rough day’, and the bottom affirmed, ‘Easy Day.’
“My co-workers gave me those before I left the hospital and moved up here.” That had been a bittersweet day. I’d been both scared and excited about leaving the only job I’d ever had to move to a new city and open my own business. “The glasses came with cute nurse charms, but I lost them when I moved out of my mom’s house.” I thanked him when he handed the glass over and began to pour the wine.
“Tell me when to stop.” He peeked up at me then back at the glass.
“Take it to ‘Don’t even ask’ please.” I licked my lips, anxious to taste the fruity acidic flavor he’d chosen for us tonight.
He tipped the bottle back a bit so the wine stopped flowing.
“Everything okay?” he questioned.
“Oh yeah. I just want a full glass.”
He continued to fill to the line, then poured some in his own. The moment my lips touched the rim of the glass and the fragrant red wine enveloped my mouth, a sense of euphoria filled me. Before I’d met Zachary, I’d enjoyed a glass of wine here and there, but knowing this was a creation that he had labored over with such great care and love gave each glass a special meaning.
I closed my eyes, savoring its crisp acidity. “Oh, this is really good. I taste a combination of fruits. Maybe cherries and blackberries?”
He nodded. “Yeah, some people also compare the flavor to raspberries and plums too.”
“It has sort of a creamy texture.” I rubbed the pads of my thumb, index and middle fingers together in circles like I did anytime I talked about textures and continue to try to impress him with my limited knowledge about wine. “It also has a medium body, kind of between a Merlot and Syrah.” I’d read something about ‘tannins’ in wine too but I still had no idea what the hell that meant. It was time to quit my description while I was ahead.
“Very perceptive. This Malbec is my favorite.” He watched me as he swirled the dark almost violet-colored liquid in his glass then stuck the rim just under his nose and took a long sniff. “These particular grapes originated in France but are primarily grown in Chile and Argentina. We’ve only been growing them here for about ten years.” Taking a small sip, he swished the wine in his mouth before swallowing, obviously pleased with its taste. “This is like liquid gold to me since we only bottle half as many Malbec as we do Merlot. I keep a stockpile of them for the house.”
It was wonderful to hear him forget for a while and talk about the thing he was most passionate about. Illness, be it physical or mental, had a way of keeping us focused on the things that brought us down. We all needed moments when we could relax and enjoy the things that kept us going.
“Well, put me down for a couple.” I traced the rim of my glass with my index finger and bit my lower lip as I watched him take another sip.
I loved seeing him relax after having to deal with all the stress he’d gone through lately. I couldn’t even pretend to know what it felt like to find out your parent had an incurable disease.
I stretched my arm up, which cause my shirt to rise a bit, and my stomach showed. I caught Zachary’s eyes wandering as I pulled down the hem. I’m sure my chubby belly was the last thing he wanted to see.
Thank God, I hadn’t had that fat squeezing garment on so my skin was smooth and undented. I wonder if he ever found that? Even though I was embarrassed about it, I casually mentioned, “I’ve been meaning to ask you, did you come across something of mine under your bed?”
“Like what?” He licked the drop of wine left on his lip before swirling the contents in his glass.
“An item of clothing?” I stared at the imaginary figure eight I’d been drawing over and over on top of my thigh.
“When?” His face was neutral, not giving anything away.
Shit, was he just messing with me or was my organ compressor still living under his bed with the dust bunnies? That couldn’t be right, though, since I knew Isla cleaned the main house and villas at least once a week. Maybe she had found it and taken mercy on me by tossing it in the trash without showing him. Still, I had to know.
I cleared my throat, trying to ignore my burning cheeks. “The morning after Bri and Josh’s wedding.”
His eyebrows raised and I wasn’t sure if he was trying to suppress a laugh or if he was embarrassed for me. “Oh, that.”
Now I wondered what the hell I was doing even asking about it in the first place. “Never mind.”
He grinned and I hoped he was going to make light of this now that I opened my big mouth. “At first, I had no idea what it was, but since you’re the only woman besides Isla that’s ever been up there, I figured it was yours.” He took another sip and looked directly at the wine in his glass. “It’s folded up in my bottom drawer.” His tender blue eyes met mine. “I don’t know why you would even want to wear something so uncomfortable looking, but it’s there if you want it.”
I only caught one thing he’d just said. “Wait, did you say I was the only woman?”
Oh no. His eyes held a look that said he was confused and maybe even slightly offended. “Not sure what you’re thinking, but I don’t exactly bring a slew of women home with me Dani.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to insinuate anything. I just mean, you know, about your wife?” I gulped hard, again wondering why the hell I was talking about this.
Relaxing, he carried on with what he was doing, acting like this was not a breaking news alert. “Nope.” He even made the popping sound with the P. “We stayed in the back villa. The room I’m in now used to be Dad’s, but he moved to the one I grew up in once he needed to start using the cane.”
I inched a little closer. Now I was even more curious than before. Surely his wife and I were not the only ones he’d slept with. “So where do you take women?” What the hell was I asking?
“Do you really want to have this conversation?” He looked uncomfortable then pointedly at me. “Because I could ask you the same question.”
“I don’t take women anywhere.” I winked.
He gave me the stink-eye. “You know w
hat I mean.”
Leaning forward, he poured us each a little more wine, almost as though he was looking for a distraction.
I should’ve let it drop, but I had to know. “I’m just curious. I see how women flirt with you, especially in the tasting room.” I placed my hand on top of his thigh, feeling the rough texture of his jeans beneath my fingertips, knowing I was flirting and crossing the boundaries of our friendship.
“Dani, I really don’t want to have this conversation with you.” He spoke under his breath and I watched his Adam’s apple bob up and down as he swallowed.
Leaning in until our lips were so close, I asked, “What do you want to talk about then?”
He stilled for a moment, staring at me as if he was fighting some internal battle. I shouldn’t have teased, but I couldn’t help it.
His eyes didn’t move, but I caught his hand moving in my peripheral vision. I didn’t know why until he shoved a Culinary and Wine magazine between our faces, almost as if he was trying to distract me. Or himself.
I’d grabbed the magazine from the tasting room the other day.
Scooting away, he said, “Hmm, I wondered who snagged this.” He looked amused. “And I have a feeling I know why it disappeared so fast.”
I’d been busted, but I wasn’t about to admit it. “Not sure what you mean. There are some great articles in there.”
Throwing his head back, he let out a deep, rumbling laugh which made my belly swirl. I loved his laugh. “Oh, I’m sure it does,” he said, “but I’m quite certain the reason it’s on your coffee table and not in the tasting room has everything to do with the cover photo.”
Nonchalantly, I glanced at the picture he was pointing to of the man who’d been named Hottest Celebrity Chef for the third year in a row. Nat Daniels was a culinary travel journalist who happened to also host my favorite cooking program, Real Food, Plain and Simple. The show focused on rustic cuisine from around the world. And yeah, he might just be a little gorgeous on top of that.
I bit my thumbnail and grinned. “Okay, so maybe that’s why I picked it up initially. He is my favorite celebrity chef, you know, but that magazine is pretty informative, too.”