Turner's Rainbow 2 - The Rainbow Promise

by Lisa Gregory

  Jimmy wound down after a while and looked embarrassed. "I'm sorry for running on like that. You must have been terribly bored,"

  "Not at all!" she hastened to assure him, "It sounds wonderful to me, I can't imagine reading all those books and learning so much or actually living in a city* I wish I could see those places you talked about."

  He smiled. "Maybe you will one day,"

  She shook her head, her smile wistful. "No, I don't think so"

  Maybe I'll take you there."

  She glanced at him, startled. He seemed to realize the implications of what he'd said, and he looked away quickly. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. Perhaps I'd better take you home now."

  The ride home in the buggy was wonderful. Julia stored it away like a treasure in her mind. They sat only inches apart, a heavy lap robe across their legs and feet. The worst of the chill wind was cut off by the sides of the buggy. Julia had never ridden in one before. She had never sat this close to a man and felt the heat of his body. She gazed at Jimmy's hands, long and slender, sprinkled with dark, curling masculine hairs. She thought about his fingers curling around her own; she thought about him touching her. She looked at his profile, at the sharply cut lips and long, classic nose, the long, thick lashes. His skin was darker than her own. His jawline was already shadowed; he must have a heavy beard. She wondered if his chin would feel rough if she ran her hand over it; she wanted to.

  When he left her at her house that afternoon, Julia was sure she would never see him again, but the next evening he showed up on the doorstep. She asked him in, her embarrassment at his seeing the humble interior of their shack outweighed by her eagerness and excitement at being with him. They sat alone—her father and Luke were both gone, and Julia's grandmother was asleep in the next room—and talked for hours.

  Finally Jimmy left reluctantly. He told her that the next day he had to return to New Orleans to school. He gazed at her for a long moment, then leaned forward to kiss her cheek. Instinctively, Julia turned her face, her lips seeking his, and he kissed her. Excitement of a kind she'd never felt before shot through her. She couldn't breathe. She began to tremble. His hands gripped her arms, and she felt the rigid tension within him. He stepped back suddenly. He looked at her, his breath coming in short, rapid spurts. "I'll be back," he said hoarsely and left.

  Julia lived on that kiss all winter.

  It had been brazen of her, she knew, to seek his lips. He probably thought terrible things about her for doing that. Yet she couldn't regret it. She had never felt anything as wonderful, never tasted anything as sweet. She thought about Jimmy constantly, remembering the touch of his lips and the pressure of his fingers against her arms, the warmth of his breath on her cheek. She wanted to feel those things again. She wanted to see him again.

  But she didn't think she would. He would be bound to forget her over the months. There were probably lots of girls that were interested in him, ones of his own class who were far prettier, brighter, and more vibrant than she. After all, she and Jimmy had shared only a few hours, only one kiss. She couldn't expect it to be as important to him as it was to her. Jimmy Banks couldn't have fallen crazily, instantly, in love with her—as she had with him.

  Julia had almost convinced herself that she would never see him again when one day late in March, she heard the sound of a horse approaching the house. She glanced out the window and saw Jimmy riding into the yard. She rushed out onto the front porch as he slid off his horse. They hurried forward and stopped a few feet away from each other, grinning, surging with excitement, and suddenly shy.

  They took a long walk by the creek. Julia didn't care where they went; she wanted only to see Jimmy and hear his voice, to absorb the wonderful knowledge that he was here with her.

  "Is school over?" she asked hopefully.

  "No. I have to go back in a week. This is just Easter vacation. But I'll be home again the end of May."

  It seemed an awfully long time.

  "I missed you," Jimmy said, and Julia stared at him in surprise. "I thought about you all the time."

  She went all hot and cold inside. "I—I thought about you, too."

  "Did you? Really? I was afraid you'd hardly remember me."

  "Not remember you!" Julia gaped at him. "How could I not remember you?"

  "There must be lots of other men courting you."

  "Courting me?" Julia blushed. He must think she was stupid, the way she kept repeating everything he said. But his words stunned her. Could he actually be courting her?

  "Yeah. Are there?"

  She shook her head. "No. Only one."

  "Who?"

  "Will Dobson."

  "I don't know him."

  "He's from over Cold Springs way."

  "Are you—inclined toward him?"

  "No."

  Jimmy grinned, and she could see the relief on his face. "Good."

  After that, they both relaxed, though there was still a bubbling undercurrent of excitement between them. He stayed most of the afternoon, and they talked and laughed, the rest of the world forgotten. He left finally, reluctantly, but the next evening he returned, and for the remainder of his week's vacation he was at Julia's house every evening. Julia felt as if she were living in a fairy tale. He seemed as entranced by her as she was by him. Her. Julia Turner. It was unbelievable.

  He didn't kiss her again. She kept waiting and hoping for a kiss, but it didn't come. The tension in her rose. She thought about his kiss, half the time not even hearing what was said, wanting only to have his arms around her and his mouth on hers. She caught him looking at her as if he fell the same way as she felt inside, and she wondered why he didn't kiss her, why he wouldn't even come close to her. The air between them was thick with unresolved longing.

  The night before he left they walked again along the creek, following its meandering path. Jimmy took her hand; his skin was like fire. They said little, too aware of his imminent departure, yet not wanting to talk about it. They stopped at the foot of a large willow tree, and Jimmy laid his suit jacket on the ground for them to sit on. They looked at the moonlit water, the budding branches of the willow curving around them.

  "It won't be long," Jimmy said without conviction, "Two months,"

  "No, You'll be back before I know it "

  "I'm going to miss you."

  Tears clogged Julia's throat. "Oh, Jimmy! I'll miss you, too!"

  "Don't cry!" He turned to her, concerned, "Please. Not for me." He laid his hand against her cheek tenderly. His thumb wiped away a tear. He gazed at her, and she could see the hot desire in his eyes, feel the faint tremor in his hand. "You're so beautiful. Like a sylph. A wood sprite,"

  Julia didn't know what either of those things were, but the way he looked at her Ailed her with heat and elation. Unconsciously she stretched toward him. He leaned toward her. Her heart pounded inside her chest, and she couldn't catch her breath. He made a funny little groan, and suddenly his arms went around her and his mouth pressed into hers. He kissed her feverishly, hungrily, and she clung to him, dizzy with passion. His tongue came into her mouth. It surprised Julia, but she welcomed it. Bright shivers darted through her. Was this how Luke felt with women? No wonder he was so wild. She felt definitely wild herself right now. Jimmy's hand touched her breast, and she exploded into flame.

  They made love there on the ground, too hungry, too eager to seek a softer, warmer place. They were too eager even to think. All Julia knew was heat and desire and the exquisite sensations his fingers awakened throughout her body. Even the pain when he entered her could not break the magical spell of her desire. Afterward, when he lay beside her, sweaty, warm, and utterly relaxed, she knew only peace and contentment.

  "I love you," he whispered, though she hadn't asked for any such words from him, and tears formed in her eyes again.

  "And I love you." More than anything in the world.

  The next two months were unbearably lonely. It seemed forever until Jimmy would be home again, and Julia wa
sn't at all sure that she would see him again when he did return from college. She had few illusions about what a rich boy from town wanted from a Turner girl. She had known from the start that Jimmy's courtship wouldn't end in a proposal of marriage; a Banks didn't marry a Turner. There could be only lovemaking or nothing at all. Because she loved him so much, she had chosen the lovemaking, even if it meant that she was now "a fallen woman," another girl like Emma Whitehead or Tessa Jackson. But she was aware that their one night of passion might be all there would be; after he'd won her, Jimmy might not be interested in her anymore. That was the way of life; you found it out early when you grew up in a sharecropper's shack with a vicious, drunken father who was looked down upon by everyone in the county.

  One night early in June, Julia was awakened by a soft tapping at the door. She glanced over to where her father lay, snoring, on a mattress on the floor Luke wasn't home. She walked silently to the door and opened it a fraction, Jimmy stood outside on the porch, his face tight and eager.

  "Jimmy!" She flung open the door and rushed into his arms. He lifted her up off the floor, burying his face in her loose, fine hair.

  "Julia. Julia, God, it's good to see you again." He kissed her deeply, searchingly, a kiss born of two months of loneliness. "You're so beautiful. I've missed you like the devil." He kissed her again and again, and she could feel his hard desire through her thin cotton nightgown.

  "I've missed you, too," she whispered, clinging to him.

  "I just got in tonight on the eight-oh-five. I came out as soon as I could get away from the house."

  Love swelled inside her chest. He had rushed to see her as soon as he got home! "I love you."

  He carried her like a child into the woods behind the house, saying he didn't want her to hurt her bare feet on the twigs and rocks. They had made love in the shelter of the trees, the scent of wild honeysuckle thick around them.

  ❧

  Julia could smell the honeysuckle now, so strong was the memory, and she glanced around as though awakening from a dream. She was in a wagon with Luke and Sarah and the children, and there was no honeysuckle in sight. Tears filled her eyes. She thought she would give anything to feel again what she had felt back then, to be young and wildly in love, heedless of what might happen.

  But then, she was exactly where she was because she had been young and in love and heedless. She and Jimmy had continued to meet all through June, He had assisted his father in his office during the day, but every evening he had been at Julia's house. They had taken long walks or simply sat together talking; but whatever they did, they hadn't been able to keep their hands from each other long, and they had made love again and again, Jimmy had murmured words of love and passion to her, and Julia had soaked them up, even as she drank in his kisses and caresses. She couldn't get enough of him because she knew that soon it would be over.

  She had suspected even before Jimmy came home that she was pregnant. She had missed her monthly, and then she had started feeling sick to her stomach when she awoke in the mornings. By the end of June, she was certain. She was going to bear his child.

  Julia hadn't told Jimmy, She hadn't even thought of it. She had known that he wouldn't marry her—couldn't marry her, even if by some mad chance he might want to. He was a Banks, son of a doctor and descendant of judges and bankers. And she was a Turner, daughter of a drunk and descendant of poor white trash. His parents would never have allowed him to marry her. And, sadly, she had been sure that despite his words of love, Jimmy wouldn't even want to marry her when it came right down to it. She hadn't wanted to spoil the beauty of their love by telling him. What if he thought that she was trying to force him into marrying her? He would be horrified and repulsed. She hadn't wanted to hear his refusal.

  But she had been determined not to bear his child out of wedlock. She would not allow that shame to rest on her child, Jimmy's child. She would not let him carry the stigma of illegitimacy. She had gone to a doctor in another town to confirm her condition, using the money she had stored up in the old cookie jar above the sink. The doctor had told her that she was indeed pregnant, and she had known that the end had come for her idyllic love with Jimmy

  The next time Will Dobson had called on her, she had asked him if he still wanted to marry her. He had been dumbfounded, having been turned down so often that he'd given up asking. She had explained her situation, wanting him to know exactly what he was getting into. He had gazed at her for a moment, then nodded, "Sure, Julie. I want you that bad. You know I do,"

  They had been married on July second. She hadn't told Jimmy about her pregnancy or her impending marriage. She had planned to tell him the night before the wedding, but at the last minute she had been unable to utter the words. She had made love with him with passion, regret, and sadness that night, and she hadn't seen him again since.

  Until this afternoon.

  Seeing Jimmy in that store had shaken her to the core. She didn't know what she felt, exactly. Not love. That had died long ago; it had been years, after all. She supposed it was shock; she hadn't expected to ever see him again. Running into him like that had jarred loose the memories and old feelings, and she had felt them all again, like an ache in a bone broken long ago.

  Oh, James! Tears welled in Julia's eyes. He was still so handsome, maybe even more so. She wondered what he had thought of her. Had he been dismayed at how old she had grown? Had it appalled him that he had once found this woman attractive? Had he noticed the lines in her face, the darkening of her hair, the roughness of her hands? But that was silly. Of course he had seen those things; he couldn't help but see them.

  Julia wanted to cry, but she couldn't with Luke and Sarah sitting right beside her. The ride home seemed endless.

  ❧

  The children took their baths that evening in a large tin washtub in the kitchen and went straight to bed. Luke emptied the round washtub and brought in the long tub the adults used for bathing. They filled it with bucketsful of rainwater and warmed it with pots of water heated on the stove.

  Julia took the first bath, and Luke and Sarah went outside to give her time alone. They walked around the barn and the animal pens, chatting about the farm, the livestock, and crop he was planting. His arm was looped over her shoulders, and hers was around his waist. They moved with the ease of familiarity, yet they were acutely aware of every place their bodies touched.

  Luke loved being with Sarah like this—the quiet talk, the closeness, the intimacy. They stopped beneath the apricot tree in front. Luke reached up to pull down a branch, and they were showered with its petals. They smiled at each other and sniffed at the blossoms. Luke thought of the evening a few weeks ago when they had sat in the swing on the front porch. Sarah had smelled of the apricots she'd cooked that afternoon, tart and sweet. He remembered the scent of her skin, the smoothness, the taste, and he hardened at the memory.

  He let go of the branch and reached over to brush a few white petals from Sarah's dark hair. One lay against her cheek, creamy against the pale pink of her skin and soft as velvet. He lifted it from her smooth skin. The familiar tangle of awe and love and lust for Sarah coiled in his abdomen. He rubbed the petal between his fingers, and its moisture dampened his skin. He thought of digging his fingers into Sarah's Besh, pulling her to him, sinking into her...

  It took effort to turn away. He glanced toward the house. "Think she's through?"

  "I imagine." Sarah had felt the heat of Luke's glance, and it had stirred her. She wished she weren't pregnant. She wished she could take his hands and pull him down to the ground with her right there beneath the white splendor of blossoms.

  They walked slowly back to the house, each lost in his own thoughts. Sarah knew that if she touched Luke's skin, it would be blazing hot.

  Inside, they found that Julia had emptied the tub for them, and they refilled it. Julia had gone upstairs to her room. The house was quiet and dark around them. The air in the kitchen was warm and steamy. Luke began to undress, and Sarah sat down in
one of the chairs, watching him. As he pulled off each garment, she felt it viscerally. Her eyes grew soft and dreamy.

  Luke dropped his clothes onto the floor and stepped into the tub. He sat down and leaned back, eyes closed, luxuriating in the warm water lapping his body. He remembered how when they were first married and still sleeping apart, he used to go down to the chinaberry tree while Sarah bathed. He would stand there and torture himself with images of her naked body in the tub. Now she sat in the kitchen with him while he bathed, and he with her, so familiar, so married that they were like parts of one another. But one thing hadn't changed—the torture in his body when he couldn't make love to her.

  He sighed and ducked under the water to wet his hair. He picked up the bar of soap, but Sarah took it out of his hands and knelt beside the tub. She worked the bar into suds between her hands, then began to soap his hair. "You shouldn't get down on the floor like that in your condition." he admonished her.

  Sarah worked her fingers through his hair. "You're still mine. I like taking care of you."

  A faint smile touched Luke's lips, and he sighed with pleasure, his eyes drifting closed. He enjoyed the touch of her fingers on his scalp, but far more pleasurable was the knowledge that she enjoyed taking care of him, that she thought of him as belonging to her. He relaxed and let her hands work their hypnotic spell. He could have fallen asleep except for the tendrils of fire her ministrations created in his loins.

  Sarah took a pitcher and sluiced clean water over his head, rinsing away the soap. "Lean forward."

  He obeyed her, resting his arms on his knees. Sarah washed his back, her hands slippery with soap. Tension grew in his abdomen. Her fingers slid around his ribs to the thick musculature of his chest. Luke wrapped his hands around her wrists, stopping her. He looked at her, his eyes amused, yet hot.

  "You better let me finish the rest, or I'm liable to come right out of the tub after you."